Not A Word Chapters 16-20

 

Chapter 16

 

~~~Elizabeth~~~

I tried to convince myself that it was all a dream. I prayed that it was a dream, even though I knew the cold fingers of rain dripping around us were real, even though I knew the sick throbbing pain in my twisted ankle was real, a tight unrelenting iron band of silent agony.

But I couldn't let Lucky know that it was hurting me anymore than he had guessed. Not after what we had been through the last few hours, the last few days. He'd caught me when I'd fallen earlier, helped me to keep running even though I knew I wasn't hiding how each step, each slight movement made me want to scream, to stop and sit down and never move again. But Tom was behind us somewhere, a spectre of terror chasing us through the woods as if we were no more than helpless animals. And I realized that we weren't.

After only a few moments Lucky had simply swung me into his arms without even saying anything and kept running, even though I knew he had to be exhausted too. I said nothing, only clung to his neck and closed my eyes. I lost track of the time, but eventually the sounds of Tom faded away, and only night sounds in the forest accompanied us. We have to find someplace to sleep, some kind of shelter, Lucky had said, but I could barely lift my head from his shoulder to answer. He'd searched, and at last he found the boulders, huge looming islands in the darkness. By then it had begun to rain, softly, the drops whispering quietly in the trees. Lucky groaned as he set me down on the ground against the rocks, then took off his flannel shirt and wrapped it around my shoulders. I wanted to protest as he gathered me to him, to tell him he needed to keep it on so that he could stay warm, but I couldn't seem to make the words form in my mouth. My thoughts seemed to be breaking apart into little pieces and floating away before I could hold onto them. So I closed my eyes again and kept trying to convince myself that it was all a dream.

~~~Lucky~~~

Lucky awoke with a start, cursing himself for falling asleep. He should have stayed awake, should have kept watch for Tom. It was early morning and the quiet and stillness of the woods unnerved him. It was almost too quiet. In the distance he heard the faint sounds of thunder, but the rain had stopped during the night. He wasn't sure how long he had been asleep but he hoped not long. They had to start moving again. The longer they stayed in one place, the easier it would be for Tom to find them. Elizabeth was still asleep against him, her head on his shoulder. He had held her close to keep her warm, but still she shivered in her sleep, whether from the cold, or from fear he could not be sure. He shook her gently, but she did not respond. "Elizabeth, wake up. You need to wake up, sweetie." He put his hand on the side of her face and called her name again, alarmed by how warm her skin was. "Elizabeth!"

Elizabeth stirred and he looked into her glassy eyes. She whispered, so softly he could barely hear her, "Lucky..."

He tried to shake her again, but her listless body just slumped against him again. He put his hand to her forehead. "Jesus, you're burning up." Frantically he reached for the backpack and dug out a bottle of water. He removed the cap, and tried to place the bottle in her hand, at the same time helping her to sit up. "Elizabeth, you have a fever. You need to drink water. Can you drink this for me? Please, Elizabeth."

She sat up and pushed the hair from her face and shook her head as she tried to focus on Lucky. "No, I'm okay Lucky. My ankle hurts a little." Finally she took the water from him and began to drink.

"That's good, Elizabeth. Drink as much of it as you can. I don't want you to get dehydrated. You're already so weak "

She drank a little more of the water, though not nearly enough to keep from becoming dehydrated. "I'm not weak. I'm just still a little sleepy."

Lucky put his hands on either side of her face and said, "Elizabeth, you are not all right. You're very sick and you have a fever. A pretty high fever, I think. You don't have to be strong for me you know. It's okay to admit you're sick."

Her eyes filled with tears as she looked up at him and bit her bottom lip. "I don't want to."

"You don't have to hide things from me you know. I love you, Elizabeth. You know that, right?" She nodded, and he saw the tears welling in her eyes. "Let me take care of you, okay? Please drink the water for me."

Her hands shook as she took the bottle from Lucky again and drank. Finally she looked at him and her eyes looked vacant, as if she had given up all hope. "He's out there Lucky. He's looking for us. We didn't make it."

"We just have to make sure he doesn't find us. We need to keep moving. That's why I need you to drink and eat something more so you're strong enough. And I need to take a look at your ankle to see if you can walk." He leaned over and gently took her foot in his hands, feeling the swelling in her ankle as she cried out in pain. "I'm sorry. It's hurts pretty badly doesn't it?"

"It hurts a little but I don't care. I can handle it."

"You'll never be able to walk on this. I think it needs to be wrapped."

"I will walk on it. Just....hurry." She looked worried, and incredibly tired. Lucky wished they were back in Port Charles. He wished he had called his dad or Sonny before he had left Port Charles. If he had, they would be home now, and Elizabeth would be asleep in her bed, with him sitting in a chair watching over her just as he had done so many times in the past. Well, he couldn't dwell on that right now. The reality was that they needed to keep moving and in order for Elizabeth to walk her ankle would have to be wrapped.

He removed his T-shirt and tore the bottom off it to make a tourniquet for her ankle. He took his time wrapping it, trying not to hurt her, but she winced in pain anyway. "There, that should help. You'll have to lean on me to walk. You probably shouldn't put any more pressure on it than you have to. Damn, I wish we knew where we were. You need a doctor."

"Lucky, you're going to get sick. Aren't you cold now?"

He had put the T-shirt back on, but she was still wearing his flannel shirt. He shook his head. "I'm fine, Elizabeth. The Spencer's are a warm-blooded lot you know. Do you think you can try to walk now?"

"I will walk now. Help me up."

Lucky slung the backpack over his shoulder and took her hand, helping her to her feet. When she was standing, she faltered, and fell against him. "Put your arm around me. I won't let you fall."

"I'm okay. Just let me get steady. Lucky, I'm sorry."

He pulled her close and held her for a long minute. Finally he pulled away and kissed her softly on the lips. They felt warm and dry against his own. "Honey, you don't have to be sorry. I'm the one who's sorry. I should have told my dad or Sonny I was coming here."

"You didn't know what it would be like."

"No, but I never should have thought I could take Tom on by myself. That's why we need to keep moving, to try to find a town or something, someone who can help us."

"I know. I hate him. I thought we made it. I thought we were going to get away from him. And Lucky...it's...it's almost like he let us go now that I think about it. Like he wanted us to escape so he could hunt us down or something."

"He would be just sick enough to do that. For all we know he may know exactly where we are and that is not a comforting thought."

She looked around, terrified. "I bet he does. He's probably watching us now."

"Let's just start moving and hope that he's not watching us."

She nodded but Lucky saw the pain flash across her face even as he knew she was trying desperately to keep it from him. She could no longer control the tears that spilled down her cheeks. Lucky supported her around the waist and helped her walk as they moved deeper into the woods. He wished he knew where they were going, what they would find ahead. He was beginning to feel just as hopeless as Elizabeth. He knew she didn't want him to know she felt hopeless, but he could see it in her eyes. They had very little food left and only two bottles of water. If they didn't find help and a doctor for Elizabeth soon, the situation would definitely be hopeless.

Liz lifted her head sharply suddenly, and stared straight ahead of her, frozen, her eyes wide with fear. Lucky stopped suddenly when he saw the look of terror in her eyes, "What…?" Then he shifted his gaze ahead of them, to where Elizabeth was looking and whispered, "Shit."

Tom was standing several feet from them, the gun in his hand pointed at them. "How clever the two of you are. I thought I was harder to read than that."

Lucky's voice was desperate. "Look, what do you want with us? Can't you see she's hurt and she's sick? Can't you let us go so I can get her some help?"

"Hurt and sick. Do you expect me to feel sorry for her? Why should I do that?"

Lucky laughed bitterly, "I don't know what made me think a psychopath like you would have even an ounce of compassion in that twisted brain of yours."

Tom laughed then. "Ow, that hurt. She sure is lucky to have a guy like you."

Elizabeth choked, trying to hold it back for a second, and then just started sobbing. Lucky pulled her close, holding her head against his chest as he glared at Tom, as he felt the tears welling in his own eyes.

Tom stepped towards him with the gun on them. He walked slowly around them, his eyes glittering, and a smirk on his face. Lucky watched him, never taking his eyes from his. When he was behind them, Tom suddenly moved forward quickly, shoving Elizabeth to one side. She cried out as she fell to her hands and knees, and Tom grabbed Lucky, one arm around his throat, the gun pressed to his temple. "It's too bad it had to come to this, huh Elizabeth? But I'm a jealous man and I want you all to myself. Any last words, Mr. Spencer?"

Chapter 17

~~~Elizabeth~~~

I staggered to my feet, nearly falling again when I put pressure on my ankle. Everything seemed to be wrapped in gauze, including my head. My ears were ringing and everything had a fuzzy edge to it; my mouth was so dry it felt stuffed with cotton. I wanted to scream from the pain and throw up and lie down and go to sleep. I wanted to die. But none of that mattered because I knew that any second now my beloved Lucky would be killed before my very eyes.

"You sick fuck," Lucky growled, but he kept his eyes locked on mine, and his eyes remained soft. Lucky being killed was the thing I had been most afraid of this entire time. And yet there had always been some tiny part of me had never really believed it. Seeing it inevitably in front of me now I felt something inside my soul beginning to crumble, making every other problem I had ever had in my life, even the rape, seem like nothing.

"Let him go," I sobbed. "Please don't hurt him. Please." I didn't care about dignity, I didn't care about anything. Only Lucky.

Tom laughed and grinned at me, cocking his head to one side. "Aw, this is going to be pretty tough for you isn't it? But I think you'll be able to handle it. You're remarkable at making recoveries. Of course I don't know, this one might be too devastating for you to make it. But don't worry, I'll take care of you."

"You won't lay a fucking hand on her," Lucky shouted, unable to move. "Baby, don't listen to him okay? Everything will be okay."

"Oh hell. If this is the kind of drivel I'm going to have to listen to then fuck it. I'm sick of it already."

It all seemed to happen in slow motion, like a scene in a movie, and yet when I think back on it it's hard to me to put it all together.

Everything seemed to zoom into sudden sharp focus so quickly that I gasped. Tom and Lucky stood before me like cutouts on a black background. I looked at Tom and the gauze in my brain fell away and turned into a hate so intense that I could feel it raging through me, taking place of the fever, taking place of everything. This animal had never done anything but hurt me. He started by taking my innocence, and now he was going to take away the most important person in my life, the only one who had ever truly understood me, the only one I loved more than my own life. Lucky.

I knew I could not let that happen, but I didn't stop to let myself think how. I could hear nothing, I could see nothing but him now. I launched myself at Tom so quickly he was only just swinging the gun around to me when I landed on him, my hands going almost automatically to where I knew he had the knife stuck in his belt. It was there and I pulled it out, then almost immediately sank it into his soft yielding flesh. I wanted to laugh, but I was too busy screaming at him, my words a nonsensical jumble even to me. All I knew was the satisfying thunk of the knife in his body again and again and again.

"Elizabeth!"I felt Lucky behind me, pinning my arms to my sides and I fought him, straining against his embrace, but he only held me tighter.

"No!" I shrieked. "Let me kill him! I'm going to kill him!" I thrashed wildly but he didn't let me go.

"Think, Elizabeth, please! You don't want to kill him. He can't hurt us anymore. Let it go now. Please."

I ignored the quiet urgency in his voice. "No, he has to pay for everything! I could have killed him once and look what happened. He almost killed you! If I let him go again there won't ever be another chance and next time he'll do it. Next time we won't make it!"

His voice was calm, steady. "Baby, there won't be a next time. He'll go away for a long time now, maybe forever. He can't hurt us again, I promise. Please, Elizabeth. Please."

I fell still abruptly, and he took the chance to slowly work the knife from my hand and drop it to the ground. I was shaking so hard my teeth rattled as I looked at Tom lying in a bloody, silent heap on the ground. My hands were smeared with his blood and it was splashed onto the front of my already filthy shirt. Shaking I turned to Lucky, my gaze still riveted on my gore encrusted hands. I lifted my eyes to the face of my beloved, and that was the last thing I saw before I plunged into darkness.

~~~Lucky~~~

Lucky caught Elizabeth as she slumped toward the ground, gatheriing her in his arms. He carried her to a place away from Tom, so she wouldn't have to see him when she woke up. Tom seemed to be unconscious, but he did not think he was dead. He hoped not. The last thing Elizabeth needed now, on top of all the trauma she had been through the past year, was to have to live with the knowledge that she had taken a life. Even if it was a useless life like Tom's. No, he wanted him to live and pay for all he had done to her, all he had taken from her.

He sat against a tree and laid Elizabeth's head in his lap, stroking her hair, wondering how he would ever find the way out of these woods to get help for her. He knew she was really sick. Her breathing had become labored and her skin still burned with fever. He wished he had a blanket to cover her as she shivered in her sleep. After awhile, she began to stir. She awoke slowly, and she looked up at Lucky, her eyes questioning, confused.

"Where are we?"

"We're still in the woods. Do you remember what happened?"

Her eyes were wide as she started to sit up. "Lucky!"

"Hey, slow down. You're really sick, Elizabeth. Let me help you sit up."

She looked around wildly. "Where is he? Where is he?"

He put his hands on her face. "He can't hurt you anymore, Elizabeth. He's not anywhere near us now."

She started to wilt and then she looked down, seeing again the blood coating her hands. "Oh God...oh my God..."

"It's okay, baby. You just hurt him pretty badly. I don't thnk he's dead."

She looked around and her eyes found the body several yards away. She was already pale, but became still paler. "I think...Lucky....I'm going to be sick..."

He helped her lean over and held her hair back off her face as she coughed and wretched, producing nothing but dry heaves that soon dissovled into tears.

Lucky pulled her to him, feeling totally helpless to offer her any comfort. She was nearly delirious, and he knew nothing he could say to her would make her feel better. So he just held her, whispering over and over that everything would be all right.

"Thirsty," she whimpered.

"Okay, baby, let me get you some water." He reached for the backpack, praying there was still a bottle of water left. He simply could not remember. He dug to the bottom and finally found a bottle, pulling it out and removing the cap. She was too weak to hold it herself so he held it to her lips and she drank some, the water running down her chin. When she pushed it away, he used the water left in the bottle to pour over her bloody hands, trying to clean them.

She bit her lip, her breath catching every time she inhaled. "I want to go home."

"I know, sweetie, so do I. Let's just rest here for a little bit and then we'll try to find our way out of here."

"Okay. Okay." Her eyes wandered to Tom's body again and she bit her lip. "Oh God..."

"Baby, don't look at him, okay? He's not going to hurt you, I promise. Just try to get some more sleep and then we'll start out again." He was saying the words, but he did not know how they would make it out of the woods with Elizabeth so weak and so sick.

Her eyes jerked back to him, but they seemed clouded and opaque. She nodded vaguely, but only sat there unmoving, as if she wasn't sure of what to do next. Lucky pulled her down so that she was lying on his lap again and he started singing softly the first few lines of the song he had written for her:

As you kneel beside your bed tonight Keep a little prayer for me in sight Know that I will be there when you call Know that I will catch you when you might fall

When he got to the second verse he realized she was asleep and he whispered. "I love you, Elizabeth, I'm going to get you out of here, I promise." He leaned his head back against the tree and closed his eyes, finally giving in to his own exhaustion.

Sometime later he was asleep, too and he was dreaming. He heard a voice in the distance, getting closer. It was his father, calling his name In the dream he could see his father, and he kept calling to him, Dad! We're over here, but Luke could not see them. Suddenly he was aware of someone shaking his shoulder gently. He awoke with a start, afraid it was Tom, and looked up into the welcome eyes of his father.

Chapter 18

Lucky stared into this father's eyes, trying to comprehend whether this was part of his dream or if it was reality. Luke shook him a little more aggressively. "Hey, Lucky, wake up." He was fully awake now and felt his lips turn into a small smile as he was his father and realized he was no longer dreaming.

"Dad..." But then he felt the tears stinging behind his eyes, his relief that he was really there overwhelming his emotions.. "How did you find us?"

"We can talk about that later. Are you both okay? I mean, you look okay, I'm not so sure about Elizabeth. She doesn't look so good."

"She's really sick, Dad."

"We'll get her out of here, Lucky. Don't worry."

Lucky looked past him and it was then that he saw Jason leaning over Tom's body. Luke looked at him, his expression serious. "You know Spencers never go anywhere without back up. What the hell were you thinking, Son?"

Lucky sighed. "Can we not get into this right now? I need to get Elizabeth to a doctor."

Luke nodded and as Lucky moved to lie Elizabeth back on the ground, Jason removed his leather jacket and knelt down beside her. "Here, it's cold. Let's put this on her."

"Thanks, Jason." Together they were able to put the jacket on her and Luke removed his own to use as a pillow for her head. Lucky laid her back gently, then stood up and looked at Jason. "So, is he dead?"

Jason shook his head. "No, but he's in pretty bad shape. What happened here?"

"He had a gun to my head. He would have killed me, Dad, but Elizabeth lunged at him and was able to grab his knife. That's when she stabbed him. I was afraid she would kill him. I don't know where she got the strength to do it as weak as she is. I just hope one day she'll be able to see how courageous she was."

"Yea, well I suspect that may take some time."

"She's been through hell, Dad. He's tortured her, physically and mentally, in ways that will haunt her for a long time. God, I swear I'd kill him myself if I didn't want to see him pay for all he's done to her. He took so much from her, and for what?"

"I know, Lucky. We may never know the reasons why. You can't make sense out of a psychopath. But I look forward to seeing him pay, too, not only for what he's done to Elizabeth, but for what he's done to you, too. The rape has changed you both, and now this… Oh yea, I want to see him pay, too. Come on, let's get the hell out of here."

"I'm going to have to carry her out of here." Lucky leaned over to pick her up and faltered, losing his balance. He leaned against the tree for support as he whispered under his breath, "Damn!"

Luke put his hand on Lucky's shoulder. "You okay, Cowboy?"

He nodded his head, trying to dismiss the weakness and dizziness he was feeling.

"You probably haven't eaten in awhile have you?"

"No, I guess not."

"Well, you're in no shape to carry her."

"She can't walk. I don't have a choice."

It was then that Jason spoke. "I can carry her." He leaned over then and gathered Elizabeth is his arms, picking her up gently. She still did not wake up. Lucky felt a tear slide down his face. He wanted so badly to be able to carry her, to take care of her. But at the same time, he was thankful Jason was there, since he knew he was too weak to carry her himself.

"Thanks. You'll be careful with her?" Jason started to speak, but Lucky put his hand up to stop him. "I'm sorry. I know you will be. It's just...she's so fragile right now."

"I know, Lucky. I know. It's not far back to the cabin where the car is. We'll get her to the hospital right away."

"What are we going to do about Tom?"

Luke was removing his cell phone from his pocket. "I'm calling 911 right now."

Jason said, "I'll stay here until they get here, so I can lead them to Baker. You two go on to the hospital and I'll catch up with you later."

Jason led the way and Luke put an arm around Lucky's shoulders as they walked out of the woods, slowly and quietly. There would be plenty of time to talk later.

Lucky was sitting by Elizabeth's hospital bed, watching how the light from the sunset coming through the window played over her face, making her skin seem rosy when he knew it was really pale. But he wasn't afraid anymore; he knew as he watched her that her sleep was pure and quiet, real. The IV in her wrist and the oxygen tube in her nose bothered him, but they were making her better, and that was all he really cared about. Earlier when she had been awake he'd told her everything, how his father had found them, how Luke and Jason had followed some leads on their own and wound up in the town nearby where Tom went to get supplies. They'd seen him in the store and followed him from a distance, not wanting to give themselves away. By the time they'd reached the cabin, no one was there, and it had taken all night for Jason and Luke to find them.

But now they were back in Port Charles, and General Hospital had never seemed so beautiful to Lucky. As soon as he knew that Elizabeth was in good hands he'd gone home to clean up and get something to eat. His mother was there waiting for him and they'd both cried tears of relieved joy. He didn't stay though; he had to be with Elizabeth, he had to see her getting better.

She was clean when he got back, her wounds dressed, and she'd actually smiled at him when he'd gone into her room. He'd been with her ever since. He wanted to be there every time she woke up.

She stirred, and her lips parted as she took a soft breath. He wanted to kiss them but he didn't, only watched as her lashes slowly lifted and she looked at him, and tiny smile creeping onto her face. "You're still here?"

"Where else would I be? Of course I'm still here. Gotta make sure my girl gets all better and they're treating her right in here."

"You know they will. Gram's been in here a million times hasn't she? And your Aunt Bobbie."

"My dad and mom have been here a few times, too, and so have Jason and Sonny. I think you were still asleep those times. They'll be back though. They were all really concerned about you. A lot of people love you, you know." He sat on the edge of her bed and put his hand on the side of her face. "Well, none as much as me of course."

She turned her cheek against his hand and reached up to take it in her own, the IV in her wrist dragging across the sheet. "I love you, Lucky."

"I love you, too, sweetie. And soon you're going to be out of this hospital bed and home where you belong. And I don't care what your grandmother or anyone else says, I intend to sleep on your floor until I know you're completely well."

She reached up and took his face in her hands, drawing it close to hers so that she could kiss him. Her lips were still warm, but no longer had the hot, arid feel as when she had the fever. In fact, they tasted sweet as he returned her kiss, gently, his hand catching the hair at the back of her head.

"I feel better already. I feel like I could walk out of here this minute."

"Well, feel like it or not, you're not leaving here one minute before they say you can."

She let him go reluctantly as he sat up again. "I know. But I don't feel like being here anymore. I feel like being outside just because I want to, not because I'm running. I want to go to Kelly's and I want to go to the docks....I want to look at everything because I almost lost it. I almost lost you."

"Didn't I tell you everything would be okay? I would never have let anything happen to you. Besides, you're the one who ended up saving ME. I'm so proud of you, Elizabeth. You were so brave.."

Her voice was quiet. "Not brave really. I didn't even think, Lucky. I just...I just knew that I couldn't live if he killed you."

He smiled. "Hey, I'm a Spencer, remember? Haven't I ever told you we're immortal?"

She tried to smile, but it faded from her face as her eyes filled with tears and she looked away. He took her hand and brushed her hair back from her face with his other hand. "What is it, Elizabeth?"

She took a deep and shaking breath. "I was so scared. You don't know how scared I was, Lucky. I've never been so scared in my whole life, not even while he was raping me."

Lucky looked into her eyes, and perhaps for the first time realized the true depth of her love for him and he wasn't sure he would be able to find his voice. She wiped a tear from his face as he finally said in a whisper, "I'm safe now, Elizabeth. We're both safe. Nothing can hurt us anymore." He kissed her softly on the lips again as she pulled him close to her, holding him tightly against her chest.

Chapter 19

Lucky sat outside Elizabeth's hospital room while Monica Quartermaine examined her before releasing her to go home. It had been four days since Luke found them in the woods and they brought Elizabeth home to Port Charles and General Hospital. Tom Baker was in jail, no longer able to hurt Elizabeth. Not physically anyway. Mentally, Lucky knew would take a lot longer. Earlier in the day she had been forced to endure a grueling session with Detective Taggert. Not that Lucky blamed Taggert. He knew he was only doing his job and he had to hand it to him. He could not have been any gentler with her, and for that he was grateful. Lucky had been able to answer all of his questions about the time after he'd gotten to the cabin, but he needed to know what had happened the day Tom had kidnapped her and for the few days she was there with him before Lucky arrived.

Taggert had shown up at the hospital that morning while Elizabeth was still asleep. Lucky was sitting in the chair by her bed, dozing lightly, when he felt a hand on his shoulder. He looked up, startled, "Oh, hi Detective Taggert."

"Sorry if I startled you." His voice was soft as he spoke. "She's still asleep?" Lucky nodded. "How is she?"

"Physically she'll be fine...the rest will take some time."

"Can we talk outside for a bit? I need to ask you some questions, and unfortunately I'll have to ask Liz some questions, too. I promise to go easy on her."

"It can't wait? I mean her part?'

"No. I've already given you both more time than I should have. I'm really sorry, Lucky."

He stood up and shook his head. "It's okay. I understand. Let's go."

They stepped outside the room just as Audrey was getting off the elevator. "Oh, Mrs. Hardy, good. I have to answer some questions for Detective Taggert. Can you stay with Elizabeth and let me know if she wakes up?"

"Of course, dear, and I have good news. Elizabeth can go home today."

Lucky ran his hand through his hair. "That is good news. I think she's more than ready to get out of here." Audrey nodded and turned to go into Elizabeth's room. "Oh, and Mrs. Hardy, I told Elizabeth I was going to be sleeping on her floor until I know she's okay. Is that okay with you?"

She sighed. "Well, I imagine if I say no you'll just sneak in the window and do it anyway." She smiled at him then. "Yes, Lucky, it's okay."

"Thanks."

He spent nearly an hour with Taggert, answering his questions and recounting the events of the days at the cabin. When they were finished they stood up as Audrey opened the door. "She's awake and asking for you Lucky. She's pretty agitated. I think she may have had a bad dream."

Taggert looked at Lucky and said, "You go spend some time with her, give her time to get her bearings. I'll come back in a little bit."

"I appreciate that. I also appreciate you not jumping all over me about going up there by myself."

Taggert smiled then. "To be honest, Lucky, it didn't surprise me. You love that girl and I'm not so sure I wouldn't have done the same thing myself if I were you. Now get in there with her. She needs you. I'll be back later."

Taggert shook Lucky's hand and turned to leave as Lucky entered Elizabeth's room. She was sitting up in bed, and she was crying softly. He sat on the edge of her bed and gathered her in his arms, his hand at the back of her head, stroking her hair. "What's wrong, Elizabeth? Are you okay?"

"Lucky." She threw her arms around his neck and hugged him tight. "Where were you?"

He looked at her and wiped a tear from her face. "I'm sorry I wasn't here when you woke up. I was just outside the room talking to Detective Taggert."

She pulled away a little and wiped at her eyes. "I'm okay. I just...I was just a little disoriented when I woke up."

"Do you want me to get Dr. Quartermaine?"

She pulled away, wiping at her eyes. "No, it's okay. I'm okay."

"You're sure? I can get her if you want. I want you to tell me if you're not really okay."

"No. I am. You're here so I feel better."

He looked at her, not quite believing her, but deciding to let it go for now. "Did your grandmother tell you the good news? You get to go home today."

She smiled. "Yeah, I'm glad. Anymore hospital food and I'll be worse off than I was before."

"I know. The food is pretty bad here. I'm not sure when you get to go home, but it will definitely be today. I told your grandmother I was going to stay with you for a few days. I don't think she was too happy about it, but she said she knew I would just come through the window if she said no."

Elizabeth smiled faintly. "She's starting to know you as well as I do."

He laughed. "Yea, she may even be starting to like me."

"How could anyone not like you, Lucky?" She pulled him to her and kissed him softly.

Lucky pulled away from her when he heard the door open. He turned to look and saw Taggert standing at the foot of the bed, looking apologetic.

"I'm sorry to interrupt, but Elizabeth, I need to ask you some questions."

Elizabeth nodded slowly, but the blood had drained from her cheeks. "Okay."

He walked around to the side of the bed as Lucky leaned down to kiss her cheek. "I'll be right here, sweetie."

Taggert took the chair and pulled it up to the bed, covering her hand with his. He looked into her eyes and saw only sadness and despair. This girl has got a long way to go, he thought. His voice was nearly a whisper. "I'll try to make this as easy as I can, okay? And if it gets to be too much, you just tell me, and we'll do it later."

She swallowed heavily and nodded, but said nothing.

"Okay. I need you to start by telling me what happened the day Baker came to your room and took you. What time was it, do you remember?"

"No. I don't know. I didn't even think about looking at the clock. But I went to bed at about eleven because we had a test at school the next day. And we were going to have breakfast together before class."

"Lucky mentioned to me right after you were taken that he talked to you on the phone around midnight."

She looked over at Lucky. "Yeah, he did."

"Okay, and were you asleep when Tom first came in your room?"

"Um, I...yes, I was. I thought...I thought at first that he was Lucky."

"He used to come to your room through your window, right? So it makes sense you would think it was him."

"Yes. He used to all the time right after I'd...when I'd been raped. And sometimes he still does...kind of like a tradition now."

Taggert smiled, then turned serious. He knew she didn't really want to talk about what happened and he couldn't blame her. "Can you tell me what happened after you woke up and realized it wasn't Lucky?"

She closed her eyes briefly. "I thought he was a dream. I knew he was a dream. I didn't even feel scared. But then he put his hand over my mouth and said 'Not a word' and I knew he was real. And all I could think was that I wouldn't let it happen again. I had to get away. And I tried but...I wasn't fast enough, or big enough, or strong enough. He caught me and he cut my hands...and then he dragged me downstairs and out the front door. And then..." She'd been talking so fast that her words had begun tumbling over each other and she stopped, her breath coming in tiny gasps.

Lucky sat at the head of the bed then, pulling her close against him, as Taggert looked at him, concerned, then back at Elizabeth. "We can stop if you want, Elizabeth. Just say the word."

She shook her head. "No. I want to get it over with."

Taggert nodded, and Lucky thought he looked like he wasn't even sure he wanted to continue. He was visibly upset by what Elizabeth was telling him. The way he was handling her definitely raised Lucky's opinion of him a few notches. "Just tell me a little about what happened after he got you out of the house and to the cabin."

"Okay. He took me out to his car and...he hit me on the head and put me in the trunk. I guess so I wouldn't know where he was taking me. It worked. I had no idea. And then in the cabin he locked me in this room and later...he tried to...he was going to rape me again. But I didn't do anything. I didn't even fight him, and for some reason he couldn't do it, so he got mad and left. After that he just left me alone. Then he brought me the phone and like an idiot I called Lucky, just like he probably wanted me to."

'And that's when Tom got on the phone and told Lucky he would take him to you?"

"Yes. He thought it was funny."

"Funny? Why?"

Her eyes started to fill with tears but she dashed them away quickly with her hand. "Because he knew how much I loved Lucky. He knew what it would do to me to see him hurt him."

"Did he threaten to hurt Lucky?"

She nodded miserably. "Yes. After he hung up the phone he started telling me all these things he was going to do. He said...he said that he was going to have a lot of fun seeing who he could make cry the most. He said...." Her eyes darted to Lucky then she fixed them on Taggert again. "He said 'I wonder how jealous your Lucky is. Do you think he'd mind if I did you right in front of him? I can't wait to find out.'" She covered her mouth with her hand suddenly, trying to hold back a sob.

Lucky started to speak, "Detective Taggert...."

Taggert put his hand up to stop him, then turned to Elizabeth. "We can stop now. I think I've got enough and if I need anything else, I'll call you or come by your house to see you."

"Okay," she said faintly.

Taggert stood up then and said, "Thank you, Elizabeth. I know this wasn't easy for you. But you don't have to worry about Tom Baker anymore. He's going to go away for a long time." He touched her shoulder briefly. "Feel better, okay?"

"I'll try."

"Good."

"Thanks, Detective Taggert. Call me if you need anything more from me. I'll be staying at Elizabeth's house for a few days."

"Okay. See you later. Take care Lucky." Taggert turned and left the room and Lucky sat back on the bed taking Elizabeth's hand in his two.

"Are you okay?"

She made a little choking sound in her throat, but no words came out.

Lucky had never felt so helpless to comfort her. She continued to sob as he pulled her into his arms and held her close. Finally he pulled away and looked at her. "I'm going to go find Dr. Quartermaine and see if we can take you home now. I think you'll feel better when you get out of here."

He leaned over to kiss her gently on the lips and had turned to walk toward the door when she called out to him. "Lucky?" He stopped and turned to look at her.

"Hurry back okay?"

"Your grandmother is right outside. I'll have her find Dr. Quartermaine."

"Good. Because I want to go home. And I don't want to sleep in that room anymore."

He nodded and left the room for the few moments it took for him to ask Audrey to find Monica Quartermaine.

Now she was in with Elizabeth and it seemed to be taking forever. While he was waiting, Jason got off the elevator. "Hey, Jason."

"How is she?"

"Monica's in with her now. Hopefully she can go home as soon as she's finished."

"I just came by to see how she was doing. I won't bother her. Tell her I asked about her, will you? And Sonny, too."

Lucky nodded. "Hey, man, thanks for everything you did for her out there."

Jason shook his head. "I didn't do anything. I just hope she gets better."

"Thanks, Jason." As Jason got back on the elevator, Monica came out of Elizabeth's room. Her expression was grim.

"What is it? She can go home can't she?"

"Yes, I'm going to let her go home. But, Lucky, she needs a lot of rest and she's going to need a lot of support. I know you'll give it to her, but you need to be prepared. I don't think this is something she's going to get over quickly."

"Don't worry Dr. Quartermaine. I'll take good care of her."

He entered Elizabeth's room and found her sitting on the bed, dressed and ready to go. He smiled. "How's my girl?"

She tried to smile back at him, but he saw the tears in her eyes. "I'm ready to get out of here, Lucky. But I don't know if I can even go back to that house."

He sat down beside her. "Why don't we try it? If you can't be there, I know my mother would let you stay with her at her house."

"You would stay with me?"

"Of course I would. Elizabeth, I'm not going to leave you."

On the ride home from the hospital, Elizabeth held Lucky's hand tightly. He stayed quiet, sensing that she wanted to be alone with her thoughts. Going back in that house wasn't going to be easy for her and he was sure she was trying to mentally prepare herself for it. As Mrs. Hardy pulled into the driveway, Lucky felt Elizabeth's hand tighten around his. He pulled her close and felt her whole body shaking against his. He looked into her eyes and his heart stopped when he saw the same expression he remembered seeing right after she was raped.

Lucky turned to Elizabeth as Audrey stopped the car. "Are you ready? I'll be right here with you, you'll be fine."

She nodded and they got out of the car, Lucky holding her hand on the walk from the car to the front door. As Audrey unlocked the door, Elizabeth started to back away from Lucky, shaking her head. Her eyes were wide as they darted from Audrey to Lucky. "I can't go in there," she said in a low, trembling voice.

Lucky reached for her. "Okay, we don't have to go in, not if you don't want to." He tried to touch her arm, but she pulled away from him.

"I can't. I can't. There's too much blood..." She stared at them for a second, then with a small cry turned and ran off the front steps toward the car.

Chapter 20

 Elizabeth

I stumbled a little as my ankle began to give and I fell against the car when I reached it. I leaned there, panting for only a second before I wrenched open the door and threw myself across the seat. A moment later I heard Lucky's voice from the open doorway.

"It's okay Elizabeth. You don't have to go in there if you don't want to. I told you before you don't have to stay here. I'll take you wherever you want to go."

I sat up and wiped my eyes. "Just take me away from here Lucky. I don't want to be here right now." I looked up and saw Gram standing behind him, her forehead creased with worry.

"Just tell me where you want to go. I can take you to my mom's house. Is that okay?" He turned to Gram. "Mrs. Hardy, is that okay?"

"Yes Lucky. Whatever Elizabeth wants."

They both looked at me then. I opened my mouth to say something, then snapped it shut and only nodded.

"Okay, I'll drive you there," Gram said. "Elizabeth, I've got to go back to the hospital after that, but I'll bring you your things tonight. Is that okay?"

"Yes."

I didn't care really, I just wanted to go. Lucky slipped in the car beside me and closed the door, reaching for my hand. I let him take it but I didn't respond, only let it lie limply in his. How sick of me he must have been getting. How sick I was getting of myself.

When Laura agreed to let me stay at her house, she set me up in Lucky's old room right away. No one seemed to mind that Lucky made a little pallet for himself on the floor without even asking. But I didn't tell him that it wasn't really helping this time, that I would lie awake every night afraid to go to sleep, afraid of having the dream. Afraid that I would wake up and find Tom hovering over me again. It was hard to pretend to act normal around Lucky and I always found myself wondering: how much more of me would he put up with? Could I possibly drag him down any further? How much happier would he be without me? As the week wore on I felt myself becoming more and more rundown, and I was dreading having to go back to school again. I couldn't do it, I didn't want to do it. I just wanted to stay in my bed, curled in a ball under the covers where no one could see me or talk to me. Not even Lucky.

I was back in the woods again, just like I knew I'd be. We hadn't escaped, we hadn't been rescued. THAT was the real dream. The reality was we were still in the woods, and Tom had just found us. I was standing there watching him hold the gun to Lucky's head, but this time I couldn't move. I wanted to, but it was like hands were holding my feet fast to the ground and there was nothing I could do. I opened my mouth to scream, but there was no sound anywhere in the entire forest. All was silent, as if we were in a vacuum of some kind, or our heads were wrapped in cotton. Lucky Lucky Lucky! I screamed inside my head, but no one heard me. Lucky Lucky Lucky!!! I saw Tom's flashing evil grin, the flat black eyes, and the gun. Suddenly all I could see was the gun growing larger and larger and larger. And then there was a sound, a huge bang so loud that it seemed to shatter everything around it, filling my head until I could almost see it. I squeezed my eyes shut and something hit my face, something warm and sticky, and when I opened my eyes again all I could see was Lucky's face broken in half, only one of his beautiful blue eyes looking at me, a single tear running slowly down what was left of his cheek...

Someone was holding me, folding me into a deep pocket of warmth. I pushed against it, too afraid to open my eyes, but then I heard the voice I knew so well, soft and quiet and sleepy in my ear.

"It was just a dream, Elizabeth. Just a bad dream."

"Lucky!" I wrapped my arms around his neck and crushed him against me, so relieved that I began to sob quietly. Lucky. He was here, he was real and warm and solid. Alive.

He did nothing but stroke my hair for a long moment as I cried, too exhausted to try and hide anything from him right now. Besides, he knew already, and he'd known the entire time. What had made me foolish enough to think I could hide anything from him?

"Do you want to talk about it?" he asked after awhile.

I shook my head; the last thing I wanted him to know was the kind of visions my subconscious had been sending me of him.

"Okay. You don't have to tell me if you don't want to. I just thought it might make you feel better to talk about it."

"I just want you to hold me. Stay here with me."

"I'm not going anywhere. I'll be right over there on the floor. But I'll stay right here for as long as you want."

"I don't want you to be on the floor. I want you to be with me. I want to know you're here."

"Okay okay. Whatever you want, sweetie. I'll be right here."

I pulled him as close to me as I could and pressed myself against him, closing my eyes as I felt his arms slip around my waist. We were silent, just listening to each other breathing, or at least I was listening to him. I could feel his chest gently rising and falling against my own, and how his warmth seemed to flow over me like a comforting blanket. Lucky, the love of my life, the one I wanted to be with forever. My mind turned gradually to our trip to New York and how we had been on the verge of making love. And when Tom had me and I had thought I would never even see him again, much less touch him or hold him or make love to him someday. Someday. Maybe someday was too long. How many times now had I almost lost Lucky? Several...Tom could have killed either one of us at any given moment. And he almost had. I'd almost stood there and watched Lucky's life get torn away from him right in front of me. Could I risk something like that ever happening again? It didn't even have to be that big....something else could happen...a car wreck or something. If I lost Lucky for real next time...I would never forgive myself for letting him go without showing him just how much he meant to me.

"Lucky?" I whispered tentatively, not even sure if he was awake anymore.

"Mmm hmm?"

I moved away from him slowly, sitting up and looking at his face in the semi-darkness. Then I did it before I could stop myself; I pulled my shirt over my head and dropped it beside me and faced him, completely exposed.

He sat up with a start and tried to pull the sheet up to cover me. "Elizabeth? What are you doing?" His voice cracked a little in perplexity.

I tore the sheet away from him, even though my cheeks were warm. "I want you to look at me, Lucky. I want you to touch me." My hand was trembling a little as I reached for his and placed it gently on the flesh above my right breast. I had never been touched there gently before, and I tried to fight the shyness I felt creeping up on me.

"Are you sure this is what you want?" Lucky said with a gulp, and I noticed that his eyes remained fixed on my face and nowhere else, nor did his fingers even twitch once. He kept them as still as if they had been made of wood.

"Don't you?"

He swallowed again. "You know I do. But are you sure it's what you want right now? Don't you think we should talk about it? I don't want either of us to do something we'll regret later."

I fought the desire to fling his hand back at him in frustration as tears began to burn behind my eyes. How could he think that making love would be something we would regret? "You always say things like that, Lucky. I don't want you to anymore. I want to be with you."

"Elizabeth, I just don't think this is the right time. You're really upset right now from the dream you had. And you're not completely well yet."

Excuses. There were always excuses. "Shutup Lucky." I did throw his hand back at him now. I felt as though he had smacked me, so sharp was the sting of humiliation I felt right then. I reached for my shirt and yanked it over my head, nearly falling from the bed in my haste to get away from him.

He jumped off the bed and grabbed me by the shoulders, holding me so that I could look at him. "Elizabeth, please. Tell me what I can do. I just can't make love to you right now when I would feel like I was taking advantage of you, even though you think it's what you want." I glared at him. "I love you, and there is nothing I want more than to make love to you. But don't you see, it just can't happen right now? We would both regret it."

"You always say that," I said through gritted teeth, and pushed him away from me.

He sighed. "I don't mean to, Elizabeth. I really don't. I'm just trying to tell you how I feel."

I glanced at him for just a moment then went over to my bag and began stuffing clothes into it.

"What are you doing?"

I didn't answer him. I dropped something on the floor, but it was only a white blur because I couldn't see through my tears. He picked it up and handed to me. I took it from him and stuffed it into the bag, then zipped it up, slung it over my shoulder, and headed for the door.

"Where are you going? Elizabeth, please just stop and think for a moment." He sounded exasperated.

I slammed out of his room, not even thinking about Laura or Lulu asleep down the hall. I ran down the stairs and stopped for a minute at the bottom, remembering another time I had come down these same stairs with nothing but fear and sickness in my heart. I felt those things now, but they were different. Fear that I might have ruined everything with Lucky; sickness because I knew that things would be better for him if I had. He didn't need a mess like me. I would never do anything but drag him down into my own private hell any chance I got. I released a heavy breath and started forward when I heard Lucky behind me.

"Tell me where you're going. Do you want me to take you home?"

I straightened by back and kept it to him, afraid to look at him. "No."

"Do you want me to come with you?"

"No." I made my voice harsh, cold. I made my mouth form words I would rather die than say to him. "Just leave me alone Lucky. Go back upstairs and go back to bed by yourself."

"Let me go with you. I don't want you to be alone."

"Maybe I want to be alone now. You're not my father. I don't need you." I moved forward and opened the front door.

"Elizabeth--"

The night outside was cool, a gentle breeze stirring the leaves on the trees. A full moon, stars...but I barely saw anything as I ran, my heart and my mind broken into a million little pieces.