Chapter 5

 

Alexis was focused and on a mission as she drove down Hwy 31 toward her destiny with Spike in her black Mercedes at 55 m.p.h.  This was not characteristic of Alexis' usual speed-demon driving style, but Alexis set her cruise control at 55 because she could not imagine the humiliation of being pulled over by the cops dressed like this especially given her background.  She knew almost all of Port Charles finest not just as a defense attorney, but firsthand.  Alexis knew she was a target of the PCPD, because of her representation of Sonny.  They loved harassing her and used any excuse.  Alexis admitted that her lead foot often gave them the ammunition they needed.  She’d been forced to fight the last four speeding tickets she received because one more ticket, and the New York Department of Motor Vehicles indicated its intent to suspend her license.  Each of the last four cases was either dismissed, or she prevailed because typically the city attorney that handled these cases was just out of law school and not up for a real legal contest with Alexis Davis.  She laughed remembering the last one that was dismissed by the Judge because she so flustered the cop on the stand, he basically admitted to targeting her because of who she represented.  She never mentioned this harassment to Sonny because she was afraid what he would do to deal with the problem.  Alexis handled it herself, doing what she did best, humiliating the other side in a legal contest all unbeknownst to Sonny.  The last Judge almost ordered that the PCPD cease and desist the “targeting” and essentially giving her a free reign to speed, but stopped short.  Alexis figured that with the next ticket, she would end up with a free pass to speed in the State of New York.  Alexis did not, however, want tonight to be that test-ticket. If the cops saw her in hot biker chick mode, they’d probably bring her in to the station just to humiliate her.  No, 55 was the way to go tonight.  Alexis was snatched out of her reverie by a motorcycle that came out of nowhere and whizzed around her at an incredible rate of speed.  “Jesus Christ, where’s the fire?” Alexis grinned and went on talking to herself in the car, “it is going to be just up the road at a dive known as Sweeties.”  Alexis shouted out in her car, “Be patient Spike, I’m coming . . . and I am going to show you the meaning of the word “sexual!”  Alexis grumbled, “Not sexual . . .” Alexis mumbled and then shouted, “Mobster boy, you are going to see the fireworks my sexuality creates all the way back at PH4 . . . not sexual . . .huh!” Alexis had not recognized her “destiny” as it had whizzed past her on the Harley.

 

* * *

Luke sat with his feet up on his desk smoking a cigar and thinking, “Natasha, Natasha, What the hell do you want with a biker bar?” Luke tapped the ashes of the cigar on the floor because he couldn’t find the ashtray that was buried under the mound of paperwork that had collected on his desk when he was gone.

 

“Man, I should NOT have told her about Sweeties.” Luke shook his head, “Oh well, she’s not my responsibility.  Hell, she’s a Cassadine, she’ll probably eat those guys up and spit them out.”  Luke sighed, put out his cigar, and said, “Damn it.”  He polished off his glass of brandy, stood up, and grabbed his coat, “Ah, what the hell, screw Baldwin and I can handle the PCPD myself,” Luke grinned as he headed out to the caddie, “if nothing else, this will certainly be interesting to see Natasha interacting with the very unwashed masses.  Ooohhh, maybe she’ll let me wash her off afterwards!”

 

* * *

 

Alexis pulled into Sweeties parking lot and saw a sea of motorcycles.  “Holy crap,” stealing another Kristina phrase, “I can’t believe I drove my Mercedes. It will stand out like a sore thumb in this parking lot.  Hell, it’s probably the first time a Mercedes has even been in this parking lot.” As Alexis pulled into the parking lot, the best shock absorbers in the world, were of no help to save her Mercedes from the muddied ruts in the dirt parking lot. Alexis decided to pull around to the back and try to hide the car behind a dumpster.  Alexis sat in the car a moment trying to work up the courage she’d had earlier in the evening when she left her penthouse looking like the whore of Babylon.  All of the voices in her head that constantly told her, “Don’t do that, people are looking.  It’s better not to be noticed.  What will they think?  You have to keep control. Act dignified.  You are not a pretty woman, so be a smart professional.  This is not very professional behavior,” were clambering loudly inside Alexis' head as her nerve was starting to fail her. Alexis just thought of Sonny saying she wasn’t sexual and she began to get angry again.  Tonight, anger was her friend.  It was helping her to be more courageous than she had ever been before. 

 

“I need a biker chick name.  Alexis is not going to cut it.” Alexis said interrupting those negative thoughts in her head.  She considered her options for a moment, “How about Lexy,” then shook her head, “too close to my own name and doesn’t scream sex kitten.  Hmm,” Alexis smiled remembering an old Ginger Rogers movie that she and Kristina had watched last week on the late show. “I will be Roxie Hart.  How appropriate for Valentines Day.” She smiled

Remembering “Roxie,” a low class tramp put on trial for killing her man but using her “charms” to wile her way out of it.  “Perfect for this crowd.” Alexis thought again about Luke’s warning and reached into her glove compartment and pulled out a Swiss army knife she kept there in case of an emergency and dropped it in her pocket.  “This is an emergency.” Alexis said aloud as she thought about the rough crowd she was about to face.  Suddenly, she grinned as she pulled the knife back out of her pocket and grabbed the red lip-gloss she also carried.  Alexis opened the lip-gloss humming "The Lady is a Tramp" as she swathed the biggest blade in the Swiss army knife with the red lip-gloss.  Alexis laughed out loud as she put the coated knife and lip-gloss back in her pocket and stepped out of the car.  As she walked purposefully around to the front entrance of Sweeties she just kept repeating, “please let my Spike be in the bar tonight, please let my Spike be in the bar tonight, . . .”  Alexis was so focused on her mantra and the front door of Sweeties, she did not notice the limo, the unmarked police car, or the Caddie all slowing down in front of the turn off into Sweeties parking lot.

 

Alexis stopped about three feet from the front door, pulled down on her skirt which again had ridden up, reached in and adjusted her breasts inside the push-up bra to achieve maximum affect, fluffed her hair, and said aloud, “I am Roxie, I am tough, I AM sexual, and I am going to have sex tonight . . . with Spike . . .and I don’t care who has to get hurt to make that happen.”  Before she could move forward with her new attitude in place, the front door of Sweeties slammed open and a body came flying out the front door landing in the dirt, unconscious in front of Alexis.  Three of the toughest guys she’d ever seen with maybe one set of teeth between them – looked at Alexis from head to toe and the look of drunken violence on their faces softened – to one of drunken lust.  Alexis was not phased.  She raised her eyebrows at their look and gingerly stepped not over but on the unconscious man and stood on his back with her left hand on her hip.  “Huh, that’s funny.” Alexis said raising her right hand to her face and placing her finger on her lower lip seductively.  With a come-hither puzzled look on her face, Alexis went on.  “Usually they don’t pass out until . . . afterwards.”  All three men groaned.  Roxie had arrived.  With an evil glimmer in her eyes, she sashayed her hips forward towards the three drooling men who stepped aside in awe as Roxie approached the front door and walked into Sweeties.

 

* * *

 

“Jesus Christ,” Johnny thought after watching this tableau play out, “I gotta call and get some back-up.  There is going to be trouble tonight.”  He reached for the cell phone and was so focused on what was playing out before him and making his phone call; he hadn’t noticed the other two cars that had followed him into the parking lot.  Johnny also headed around to the back of Sweeties to try and make the limo less conspicuous.

 

* * *

 

“Was that who I think it was?” Taggert asked Mac, his voice rising and cracking at the end.  Both their jaws hung open.  Mac just nodded, a stunned look on his face.  “Her legs . . .” Taggert said the words drifting off without finishing the unspoken thought.  Mac let out a sigh, “they go all the way up . . .”  Taggert and Mac shook their heads at the same moment as both tried to remember what they were doing there.  “Why the hell is she dressed like . . . well . . . like . . . that!” Taggert pointed to the front door of Sweeties, his voice again cracking like a 13-year-old adolescent at his first school dance,  “and what the hell are she and the Armani Don doing at a place like this?” Taggert asked more confused than angry.  They had followed the limo out to Sweeties, well outside their jurisdiction, thinking something was going down with Corinthos tonight given all the activity witnessed by the surveillance team outside his penthouse that night.  Mac and Taggert decided to follow Sonny’s limo when it had pulled out quickly to follow a lone unidentified motorcyclist heading at a great speed out of Port Charles.  They’d lost sight of the motorcycle but had stayed on the Limo’s tale not sure what they would do if something went down, but not wanting to miss it.  Taggert and Mac were so captivated by the mystery of the latest developments; they failed to notice the Caddie that had unknowingly followed them out to Sweeties.

 

* * *

 

“Well, well, well.” Luke grinned in expectation from his Caddie. “Natasha,” slapping his hand over his chest, “darlin’ you take my breath away.  I always knew that underneath those business suits was a bad, bad, bad girl that needed a good spanking.” Luke’s grin faded as he added quietly, “but sweetheart, you are over your head at this place and will be lucky if you only get spanked.  Thank God, Sonny’s man is following you but I don’t think he will be enough.”  Luke had watched the limo pull around back but the four door sedan that moved and parked on the other side just came to Luke’s attention, “Hold the phone, now this is interesting.  Why is Port Chuckles’ finest following Natasha?” Luke wondered aloud. “Outside your jurisdiction boys, naughty, naughty.  And given Natasha’s persona tonight, you boys are not only going to get metaphorically spanked by that viper shyster like you usually do but actually get . . ..”  Luke’s train of thought derailed as an idea occurred to him and his grin returned.  “Me thinks Corinthos is somehow involved in these shenanigans.  I wonder if he is already inside.  Hmmm.  What are Natasha, Corinthos, an errant body guard, and two of Port Chuckles’ finest up to this fine evening?”  Luke shrugged and clapped his hands together in unsuppressed glee, “I don’t know, but I bet this is going to get good.”  Luke pulled the Caddie right up to the first space outside the front door of Sweeties since all of the surreptitious spots were taken.

 

* * *

 

Alexis strutted into Sweeties with all of the confidence she usually reserved for the courtroom.  Something outside had shifted in her and she felt like she was Roxie.  The voices in her head that she had been fighting her whole life were struck dumb by this turn of events.  Alexis glanced around this bar full of reprobates and noted that there were only two other women in the bar . . . and it looked like they’d been there since 1967.  Alexis owned this room as evidenced by the collective gasp, then quieting of all clanging glasses, and finally one lone wolf whistle that opened the floodgates of catcalls.  Alexis ignored them all and headed straight to the bar her hips unwittingly moving to the beat of Billy Squire’s “Stroke Me” blasting on the jukebox.  While she was confident in this bar generally, she knew that she needed a serious drink if she was going to go on the prowl for Spike.  She almost ordered a martini but realized that this was a drink Alexis would order, not Roxie.  “Tequila,” she spoke quietly to the bartender who tipped the scales at about 350 pounds, was unshaven, and was missing an eye but didn’t bother to wear a patch or glass eye to hide it.  One-Eye nodded and pulled out a large dirty shot glass, a bottle of Jose Cuervo, and poured.  Alexis reassured herself that the Jose Cuervo would kill whatever germs remained in the dirty shot glass.  Alexis grabbed the glass and slammed it, “Again,” she said to One-Eye.  Alexis repeated the action.

 

Alexis smelled a body moving in closely towards her right ear voice before it slurred.  “Hey there pretty lady, are you my Valentine’s Day present?”  Alexis pulled back and turned to look at the man to her right, examined him carefully, clearly dismissing him and finding his line unworthy of comment, she turned back once again facing the bar saying nothing.  “Ouch, that’s got to hurt,” said a man to her left with a grin and a little more subtlety and less smell than she’d seen thus far at Sweeties.  Smelly grumbled loudly, "Stuck-up Bitch!"  Alexis could also feel the rest of the bar closing in on her to make their play.  She knew she had to thin the herd so she turned to Mr. Subtle and said. “Valentine’s Day sucks.”

 

“Ah honey what happened?” Mr. Subtle asked felicitously and then belched.  Alexis hated to do this to the guy who seemed like a nice dirt-ball, but she didn’t have a choice.  “Oh, my new man...uh . . .” Alexis struggled to keep the grin off her face as she said, “Luke just wasn’t cutting it.  Not only did he fail to get me anything for Valentine’s Day, it turns out that he didn’t really “have” anything to give, if you get my drift,” Alexis nudged Mr. Subtle and held her right thumb and forefinger apart by about two and half inches and mouthed, “this big.”  Alexis shook her head, “Okay, I over-reacted. I admit it.  I really didn’t mean to cut them both off . . .” Roxie blazed on with her tale of woe and mayhem,  “But damn it, I was pissed. I mean I’d wasted two hours on this guy only to find out he wasn’t kidding when he referred to it as “little Luke.”  Please, six inches? What a waste of time.”  As the men around the bar began to back away either in fright or inadequacy, Alexis pulled out her Swiss army knife with the blade covered in her red lip gloss and laid it on the bar, she conspiratorially whispered to Mr. Subtle so that everyone could hear, “Could you hide this for me if the cops show up?” 

 

Mr. Subtle swallowed loudly, but spoke quietly as he said to One-Eye, “Another whiskey here.”  He drank it in one gulp and said, “no problem, but I wouldn’t worry, we kind of have an understanding with the local cops.  They don’t bother us, and we don’t let any bodies be found on the premises.”  Alexis with a smile plastered on her face, gulped, put the knife back in her pocket, and fought every instinct she had to run for the door.  She did notice that her six-inch tale of woe had thinned the rabble around her significantly.  Alexis decided it was now or never.

 

“So anyone here named Spike?” Alexis asked loudly not knowing exactly why the man she had sex with tonight had to be named Spike, but she was nothing if not goal oriented.  After looking around the bar at her choices, she just hoped that Spike had all of his teeth and showered within the last week. 

 

One-Eye raised the eye-brow over his one good eye and said, “who’s looking for him?”

 

Alexis put her hand out and grinned roguishly at One-Eye and said, “Roxie Hart, nice to meet ya’”  The left side of One-Eye’s mouth raised in what was either a snarl or a smile, Alexis was not sure. 

 

One-Eye motioned with his head, “Juke box.”  As Alexis began to turn around and look for the juke box, she did not see One-Eye’s left side of his mouth rise even higher nor his pat of his left shirt pocket as he thought, “Easiest hundred dollars I ever made.”

 

Alexis began to salivate as she saw bent over the jukebox, the finest jean-covered ass she had ever seen on any man, anywhere.  She didn’t even realize she said aloud, “Baby!” until she had started to move toward the jukebox like she was under a spell.  Alexis told herself that it was Roxie talking, not Alexis.  But her breathing became more labored as she took in the sight of the black leather biker jacket and dark hair topping those tight jeans molding that Adonis ass.  “If his front is 1/20th as good as his back, I will die happy.” Once Alexis stood just behind and to the right of Spike, she leaned in towards his right ear and whispered seductively, “Pick a slow song so we can dance.”  No introductions, no small talk, only desire.

 

Sonny did not dare turn to face Alexis until he’d gotten himself under control after that thing she did to his ear under the guise of speech.  Her breath had been like a lover’s caress and he was both turned on beyond measure but also shocked at his Alexis.  Sonny put his money in the juke box and hit N54, the closest thing he could find to a slow song in this Biker Bar was Nazereth’s “Love Hurts.”  Still feeling the dull ache in the back of his head from his last encounter with Sexual Alexis, he thought the choice was apropos.  He finally turned and faced Alexis as he said, “There’s dancing and there’s dancing.  What did YOU have in mind?”

 

Alexis was very still as she took in Spike’s identity.  In fact, she stopped breathing altogether as she gazed into his eyes trying to decide her next move.  Roxie took a back seat as Alexis moved into cerebral action to consider what Sonny was doing here playing Spike.  “A.  He is trying to “save” me from myself.  Sweet, but incredibly pejorative and chauvinistic.  B.  He is playing a practical joke on me.  Funny, Mobster Boy and I will miss you after I kill you.  C.  He wants to be the one I have sex with tonight.” Alexis contemplated these possibilities as she gazed at Sonny without giving anything away.

 

“I chose C,” Alexis said aloud suddenly smiling seductively at a very confused Sonny before calmly removing her leather jacket and throwing it on the jukebox.  Alexis then moved closer toward him, molding her body to his as her arms traced slowly across his chest and moved inside his leather jacket around to his back before she pulled him up against her.

 

The “Excuse me?” over the “I chose C” comment Sonny started to say was caught in his throat as she pressed her face against his cheek, with her mouth and lips pressed to the lobe of his ear.  Sonny felt, or thought he felt, her tongue dart out and lick the lobe of his ear as she sighed into him.  Sonny growled his reaction and wrapped his arms around her – one hand on her bare-skinned lower back and the other hand over her shoulder, around the back of her neck before moving down the inside of her shirt.  He leaned his face into her neck breathing her in like she was oxygen he’d been denied.  Sonny had no idea where he was going as they swayed together in a dance that had become primal, but Alexis followed his movements effortlessly as he began to move them away from the jukebox. 

 

The two dancers were completely oblivious to all that was happening around them.  Not that much was actually happening.  Several very tough men were wiping the saliva off their chins and trying to get their breathing back to normal.  Some of those same men who were seated had scooted their chairs and stools closer to the bars and tables.  One depressed mechanic was heard to say, “Get a fucking room,” before he was knocked out cold by his best friend.  And one bodyguard, two cops, and a reprobate were frozen in place at the back door, side door, and front doors respectively just as affected as all the bikers in this bar, but also wondering what to do given this very surprising turn of events.

 

 

 

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