Harborview Towers - Morgan Penthouse
Four weeks later

"What?" Jason barked as he picked up the phone. His mood was dark and gloomy, and growing worse as each day went by with no further sign or word about Lucky. He'd had only one clue to Lucky's whereabouts so far - and it was chilling: one single black and white photograph of Lucky, naked, bound and gagged.

"The police have nothing, Benny, and it's not like Taggert is trying that hard to find him. I want OUR men on this - call me back when you have some new information!" Jason exploded, slamming the phone down. Jason knew Lucky was being held nearby, he could feel it. And if Helena Cassadine didn't have him, then it was one of those sleazebags from the Battering Ram. He had men looking for Helena, and he'd been shaking down the bar regulars for information - how hard could it be to get a lead on Lucky? He didn't vanish into thin air.

Jason poured himself a shot and sat down. Flashes from their last night together flooded back to him, and he downed the shot, trying to erase the images, silence the words. But it was no use. He couldn't stop thinking about it.

He was supposed to take Michael to see Santa Claus tonight, but the last place Jason wanted to be was at the mall, with a bunch of screaming kids. He wanted to be in his upstate hideaway with Lucky, the one he'd built just for the two of them, the surprise he'd hoped to spring on him for Christmas, before everything fell apart.

'Just try to concentrate on something else for ten minutes,' he told himself, reaching over to retrieve the mail. His heart lurched at the sight of the manila envelope and the familiar handwriting. He tore it open, pulling out a Christmas card. In the picture on the cover a little blonde-haired boy in pajamas stared up at a decorated tree, presents beneath it, Santa's legs still dangling in the chimney behind him. He slowly opened the card, reading the scrawled message within.

Mr. Morgan:

I trust you enjoyed my last gift to you. But pictures tell only a thousand words. And I know you are a man who prefers live action. Merry Christmas!

~Your Secret Santa

Jason bolted from the couch just as Johnny knocked on the door.

"Package," Johnny announced urgently just as Carly emerged from upstairs.

"For me?" Carly beamed, bouncing down the steps. "Bring it in, Johnny!"

"Carly, no." Jason shouted, blocking her path to the door. He had seen the troubled look on Johnny's face, the worry in his eyes, and he knew this had something to do with the message he just received.

"Jason, what's wrong with you?" Carly demanded. His tense mood had been getting worse by the day. She traced it back to her cousin's mysterious disappearance.

Her mother and Lucky's family and friends were still searching. They had asked Jason to help out as well, which seemed to preoccupy her husband's time and attention lately. Unfortunately there had been no clues whatsoever. She had a feeling Lucky pulled his own vanishing act, but with the holiday drawing nearer and still no trace of her cousin, it seemed the Spencers were going to have a blue Christmas after all.

"What is it - what don't you want me to see?" she pressed, trying to make out what Johnny was hiding behind the door.

"Carly!" Jason snapped, then changed his tone, needing to ease her suspicions. "You can't see this - not until Christmas. If you promise to be good," he cajoled.

Carly tried for one last peek, but then relented. "Well, whatever it is, it better be big," she smiled. "And I'll promise not to be too naughty, at least until I get my present." She walked over and drew him in for a long kiss, which he impatiently ended, hearing Johnny's cough.

"Johnny's waiting," Jason reminded her.

"He's paid to wait," she retorted. Jason surrendered to the kiss again briefly, then pulled away.

"If you don't go upstairs, I'm going to have Johnny take your gift back," Jason threatened. He needed to get outside, fast.

"Fine," Carly pouted. "But you might want to remind yourself to start being nice or it's a lump of coal for your stocking," she muttered, heading back upstairs.

Jason pushed past Johnny and into the hallway.

"What is it?" Jason shook his head at the delivery - a large wheeled garbage can with a red ribbon wrapped around it.

"It was in the elevator, but no one came up with it. I haven't checked it out yet, but there's a card," Johnny informed him. "Do you want to see it?"

He shook his head, noticing the same picture on the front. "You read it."

"'Didn't your mother teach you to keep better track of your toys?''" Johnny read the inscription, puzzled. He didn't have time to ponder the message, seeing Jason flinch and head for the garbage can.

"No, boss, wait," Johnny warned, forcing Jason out of the way and lifting the lid himself. The tough guard flinched as soon as the garbage can's contents were revealed. Jason pushed him aside and let out a muffled cry.

"Don't," Jason rebuffed Johnny's assistance as he gently lifted a bruised, bloody and broken Lucky from the container, cradling the still body in his arms.


General Hospital
Parking Garage

"This is completely outrageous, Jason," a flustered Dr. Karen Wexler protested, shaking off Johnny's grip as he led her to the van. "It's kidnapping. I have a job here, and patients to attend to. You can't just march in and... Oh my god..." she gasped as Jason opened the back doors of the vehicle, effectively silencing her objections.

Karen overcame her shock and jumped into the back to examine Lucky, who remained unconscious.

"He's in shock. His pulse is weak, his breathing is shallow," Jason informed her. "Negative head injury, pupils are fine. No sign of spinal trauma. He has a laceration on his left side below the kidney, likely a few broken or fractured ribs. He's arrhythmic, there may be internal bleeding in the chest cavity, possible pneumothorax. You've got to help him."

Johnny and Karen both stared incredulously as Jason quickly catalogued Lucky's condition. She had a brief, heady flash of what it would have been like to work with Dr. Jason Quartermaine - if he had lived.

"What the hell happened to him?" she asked, absorbing Jason's medical run-down, as she checked Lucky's vital signs and surveyed his bruised body.

"I did," Jason muttered.

"You did this to him?!"

"No, but I...I might as well have."

"Look, I don't have time for puzzles, Jason. If you know what happened to him, then just tell me."

"I don't know what happened, not exactly. I brought him here as soon as I found him."

"Where was that?"

"It's not important."

"Everything's important when establishing a patient's condition, Jason, I think you know that," Karen snapped. "How long ago did you find him - and has he shown any signs of consciousness?" she pressed.

Jason looked down at Lucky's still, pale form, and his clinical detachment vanished. Suddenly, he couldn't concentrate on Karen's questions, or anything other than Lucky's deathly appearance.

"It was about ten minutes ago," Johnny offered from the driver's seat. "And no, he hasn't said anything or opened his eyes."

"And you don't know who did this, or why?"

"You don't need to know that," Jason managed to find his voice. "You just need to help him. He's been beaten and tortured. And you'll find evidence of... sexual assault."

Karen took a deep breath, wondering what Jason had gotten the boy mixed up in, and why he was gazing at Lucky with such guilt - and love.

"Lucky is in critical condition, Jason. He belongs in a hospital, where a fully qualified staff can take care of him. He needs x-rays and immediate medical attention. If his lung has collapsed, then he's not getting enough oxygen to his other organs. And if that happens..."

"That's not going to happen," Jason insisted. "But he's not staying here. That's just not possible," Jason repeated the demand Johnny had made when he grabbed Karen from the ER. "We'll have whatever equipment or supplies you need - it's being set up as we speak."

"But..."

"No, this is nonnegotiable," Jason asserted. "I need to know if you're going to do this willingly. Because one way or another, you are going to help him."

Karen shuddered as Jason's once-familiar vulnerability dissolved, and the all-too-familiar inscrutable, invulnerable mobster reappeared.

"Okay," she relented. Lucky was suffering, and Jason clearly wasn't going to let that continue. Karen had no choice.

Jason gave Johnny the signal, and he started the van. They drove in awkward silence as Karen continued to monitor her new patient.

"Is he going to die?"

Jason's anguished inquiry elicited an encouraging, if not confident, shake of the head from Karen. "Not if I can help it."

"Then do it. Help him, please," Jason implored. "Just don't let him die. I can't lose him again. Not like this."


Upstate
Six hours later

Lucky struggled to awaken from the heavy haze enveloping him. He could hear a woman's voice, calling to him. He flinched inwardly, but then realized that it wasn't Helena. The woman's voice was sweet and calm.

'Elizabeth?' he considered, but the voice, though soothing, was not familiar.

He struggled to discern the source, but the female tone faded, replaced with an intimately familiar sound - Jason's soft voice.

'Wishful thinking,' Lucky chided himself as the voices stopped. 'Jason isn't here. No matter how much you wish for it, or call out for him, he's not coming. Even if he wanted to, which he made clear he doesn't, Jason has no idea where to find you. No one does. You are all alone.

'With George.'

"What the hell - Wexler, get in here!" Jason yelled, as Lucky's entire body trembled, and his blood pressure dropped dramatically.

The patient had been relatively stable since their arrival. Lucky hadn't regained consciousness, but Karen had stopped the bleeding, and determined that despite what appeared to be at least three fractured ribs, Lucky did not have a collapsed lung.

After a thorough examination, which left Karen shaken at the bruising and lacerations she'd found all over Lucky's body, especially around his genital area, Karen had administered another sedative, and Lucky's breathing had regulated.

"What happened?"

"I don't know - he was fine, and then all of a sudden, after you left the room, he just started to shake."

"Hmm," Karen puzzled. She leaned over and stroked Lucky's forehead. "Ssh, Lucky, it's okay. You are going to be fine. You're not in any danger. We'll take good care of you, I promise."

Jason's own heartbeat settled as he watched Lucky's vital signs return to normal. "You think he can hear us," Jason determined.

"I think so, yeah," Karen confirmed.

"That's a good sign, then, right?"

"Yes, it is," she smiled, happy to see Jason's tension ease just a little.

"Should I - I mean, should we, should one of us stay here with him, and maybe talk to him?"

"That's probably not a bad idea. Why don't you take the first shift?" Karen suggested, knowing Jason wouldn't have it any other way. "You don't have to keep talking - just intermittently, to let him know you're here. I'll be back in a few minutes - I have some phone calls to make. People are probably wondering where I am by now…"

"Karen, you can't tell anyone where we are."

"I know, Jason. I understand. Well, I understand that I can't tell anyone, but I still don't know why, or what this is all about. I think you should be making some calls. Especially to his parents. I know they've been looking for him," she pressed. "You could let them know he's all right."

"He isn't all right," Jason soberly countered.

"But he is alive, and they deserve to know that."

"Just make your calls," Jason cut her off. "Johnny, go with her," he ordered, knowing the additional company would ensure her discretion. He watched them leave the room before pulling up a chair next to Lucky's bed.

"God, Lucky," Jason whispered, taking one of Lucky's hands in his. "What happened to you?"

Lucky felt a strange sense of calm suddenly overtake him, and he settled into a more peaceful sleep. For the first time in weeks, he was being allowed to rest, unhindered and unrestrained. He wasn't chained up, or beaten down. His body was being given the chance to heal.

His mind yearned for the same opportunity. As his body began to recover, Lucky's brain struggled to make sense of his fate, the torture, the past four years of pain, struggling with all the possibilities of how his life might have turned out differently.

If he'd only been able to fight harder, all those years ago - or if his father had figured out the lie, and realized that he was alive. Or maybe if Lucky had been strong enough to resist and not to give in to the threats...or the manipulations.

And if only he'd been able to forget it all once he returned, to drown out the demons in his head and drown himself in Elizabeth's love, instead of cutting her off and letting her go. But loving her had been impossible. He could hardly face her after everything he'd been through - everything he'd done. Every time she looked at him with that adoring gaze, he felt sick and unworthy. He didn't deserve to be loved.

His mind led him back to Jason and the last time he saw him. If only he'd given in sooner, admitted his feelings, and told Jason the truth despite his fears, then maybe they'd be together now. And maybe Lucky would never have had to relive his worst nightmare.

But he'd had to do just that - in fact, he was still facing it. If not in reality, then in his unconscious...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Ah, good - Lucas, you are finally awake. I was afraid you were having difficulty adapting to your new surroundings. I couldn't imagine why. After last evening, I am more certain than ever that you belong in chains.

"And though you'll never admit it," George leered, drawing closer and tugging on Lucky's nipple ring, "You, too, know that it's true. I am disappointed that you felt the need to find a new master," he twisted the ring, pulling even harder. Lucky didn't flinch or cry out, although the pain was almost unbearable. "I see he has trained you well. You always had the makings of a good slave. And Mr. Morgan did his best with you. But his best was never enough, was it Lucas? That's why he gave you up. You never belonged to him, you belong to me. He finally realized that."

Lucky refused to respond to George's taunts. He was trying to make him blame Jason for this, but Lucky knew better.

"You think he'll come for you," George surmised. "Why is that - you think Mr. Morgan loves you?" he laughed contemptuously. Lucky closed his eyes, but not before George saw the flicker of hope in them.

"Oh, you poor boy," he mocked, releasing his hold on the ring and pushing Lucky to his knees. He pulled out his cock and forced it down Lucky's throat, violently fucking his mouth and erupting in a swift orgasm. He quickly withdrew his prick, squirting his cum all over Lucky's face and chest.

"That is what Morgan loves about you, Lucas," he praisingly panted. "Your talented, eager mouth and your tight, willing ass." George pulled Lucky to his feet and turned him around, pushing him against the wall. Lucky struggled but his manacled arms and legs prevented effective resistance.

He finally cried out as George pulled out the studded dildo that had tortured Lucky's fitful sleep, then went to work on Lucky's ass with his finger.

"Not quite as tight as I remember, but tighter than last night," George lewdly reminisced, inserting another finger, then another, stretching his hole. "Of course, by the time I got to you at the Battering Ram, Mr. Morgan's men had fucked you quite completely. And you took them all on, just like I taught you." He forced his entire fist into Lucky's rectum once again as Lucky tried to stifle a scream. "I was so proud."

George's vile words turned Lucky's stomach even more than his brutal actions, and Lucky threw up. George pulled out of his ass and rubbed Lucky's back soothingly, waiting for the vomiting to subside.

"Would you like some water, my pet?" he whispered.

Lucky refused to ask for it, but he didn't say no.

"Here you go," George offered, turning Lucky around and immediately shoving his filthy fingers past Lucky's lips, causing him to gag and retch once again.

"You'll taste and feel much worse than this now that you're mine again, you worthless whore," George promised. "And you'll learn to enjoy it, even more than I know you already do. Now lick me clean."

Lucky pulled back, opening his mouth as if he were going to lick George's fist. Instead, he spit on it.

"Go fuck yourself," Lucky breathed.

George's lecherous smile chilled Lucky to the core.

"Aah, you never truly disappoint me, Lucas. It was so much fun breaking you before. I relish the chance to do it all over again."

He picked up the studded dildo and stuffed it into Lucky's ass once again, then shoved another one down his throat. When Lucky looked up, he was met with a blinding camera flash that left him seeing spots.

"I think I will update Mr. Morgan on our progress," he declared. As Lucky writhed and moaned in agony, trying to catch his breath, George cackled. "I could just send him a tape of our reunion, but a picture leaves more to the imagination." Lucky had already noted the video cameras positioned around the room, assuming Helena was somewhere, watching his every move.

George finally turned to leave, but reconsidered, removing his belt and repeatedly whipping Lucky with it. He let the blows sting his bare chest before giving the leather a taste of Lucky's cock and balls. The stifled cries and hot tears finally convinced George that the boy could still provide a compelling performance. He lowered the belt and stepped closer, watching Lucky's chest heave as he tried to inhale enough air without choking on the phallus lodged in his throat.

"I know you've been used to a more benevolent master, boy," George whispered, running his hands along the reddening welts crisscrossing Lucky's chest. "But he gave up on you. I'm here now. And the only thing you can count on is pain."

One last slap of the belt against his prisoner's stiff erection, and George departed, leaving Lucky bound, gagged and plugged.

But never doubting Jason.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ten Hours Later

Jason closed his eyes, trying to release some of the tension of the past month. He was so relieved to have Lucky back, to know that he was alive and safe. He vowed that he would keep him that way, no matter what it took.

He tried not to think about Carly or Michael, and the fact that he had canceled their festive trip to see Santa. He pushed away the image of Luke and Laura, still agonizing over the whereabouts of their son as Christmas approached.

Jason couldn't think about holidays or presents or happy families, not until Lucky woke up, until he could see with his own eyes that Lucky would be all right.

"Please, Lucky, I need to know you're okay," Jason implored, squeezing Lucky's hand. "I need to talk to you. I need to say I'm sorry."

Lucky winced in his sleep, feeling someone's grip tighten around his hand. His eyes flew open, and he pulled away from Jason's grasp. "Get away from me!" he tried to shout, but it came out as a whisper, his mouth dry, his throat raw.

Jason would never forget the look of pure terror in Lucky's eyes, or the regret and shame he felt when Lucky finally recognized him, but the fear remained.

"Lucky, it's me - it's Jason. You don't have to be scared. I'm not going to hurt you."

Lucky stared back at Jason, trying to believe he was really there, that this wasn't just another dream. Jason cringed at the uncertainty he could read on Lucky's face. He looked away as he poured Lucky a glass of water and offered it to him. He was met again by that haunted gaze.

"I know you don't believe me, you don't trust me, but I swear, I just want to help you, Lucky."

"Why?" Lucky questioned, slowly adjusting to being awake and unbound. "I thought you gave up on me."

"I did," Jason shamefully acknowledged. "I guess you're just a hard habit to break."

Lucky finally took the water from Jason and finished off the entire glass before replying.

"I told you - no one breaks me."

"It looks like someone tried pretty hard this time, though."

"Harder than you tried?" Lucky shot back.

He looked up from the empty glass in his hands, surprised to see tears clouding Jason's normally placid gaze.

"You will never know how sorry I am for that, Lucky, that I drove you to this, that I let this happen to you."

"You didn't let anything happen to me, Jason. You aren't responsible for any of this. It was may choice, remember?" Lucky asserted, closing his eyes against Jason's pity and regret, against the shame he felt at falling victim to Helena and George one more time.

"Where were you?" Jason asked, trying to determine who really was responsible for Lucky's battered physical and mental state. "Who had you?"

"You haven't figured that out yet?"

"I haven't figured out much, Lucky, except that I missed you, and wanted you back more than anything."

Lucky couldn't help but be moved by Jason's sincere words, and the genuine pain in his eyes. He tentatively reached his hand out to Jason's, which was still resting on the bed.

"Is our patient awake?" Karen abruptly intruded on the intimate moment, startling Lucky, who immediately pulled his hand away.

Jason could see the startled expression on Lucky's face. He stood up, taking the glass from Lucky and setting it back on the nightstand. "It's okay, Lucky, this is an old friend of mine," Jason tried to reassure him. Lucky just glared at Jason, incensed that he hadn't warned him they had company.

"Lucky, I don't know if you remember me..."

"Karen, right?" he replied. "Or should I call you Dr. Wexler?"

"No need for such formality," she cheerfully replied. "Just call me Karen." She gave him her best bedside smile before shining her penlight into his eyes and checking his pulse and his reflexes. Lucky resisted at first, but Karen's soft touch eased his tension slightly - until she tried to lift his shirt to examine the laceration she had stitched up that first night.

"Don't!" he immediately and forcefully pushed her hand away.

"This was a very deep cut, Lucky," Karen explained patiently but firmly. "I just need to check the stitches, and make sure the dressing is okay..."

"They're fine," Lucky insisted.

"I'm not going to hurt you," Karen promised.

"It's not that... it's just... I don't want him to see me like this."

"You want Jason to leave?" Karen determined.

"No!" Lucky practically shouted. He didn't want Jason to watch, but he didn't want to be left alone with Karen, someone he barely knew.

"Lucky, it's okay. I'll just be over here," Jason promised, moving away from the bed and across the room. He could tell that Lucky was ashamed or embarrassed about something. He wasn't sure why - Jason had seen most of the damage. The bruises and cuts would heal, in time. All that mattered to Jason was Lucky's safety, he would have to convince him of that.

He turned his back, and Karen quickly checked the stitches and bandaged Lucky back up.

"Everything is fine," she pronounced, lowering Lucky's shirt and covering him with the blankets.

"So I'll live then?" Lucky tried to regain his cool facade.

"I think so," Karen smiled.

"Great," he sighed, closing his eyes and laying his head on the pillow, a single tear falling down his cheek. Jason had to clench his fists to keep from reaching out to wipe it away.

Lucky's volatile mood swings and obvious distress and vulnerability upset Karen, as well. She was determined to help him pull through this, and not just physically.

"Lucky, can you tell us why this happened to you?" she gently probed.

"You mean what I did to deserve it?"

"No, no, of course not," Karen was taken aback. "No one deserves what happened to you."

"Are you sure?" he challenged.

Jason looked helplessly at Karen, who tried to switch gears.

"So you know who's responsible then?"

"I am," he stated simply.

Karen shook her head, remembering Jason's assertion that he was the one to blame for Lucky's state. She wondered again what exactly was happening between these two men. She could feel the power of their bond, and their pain.

"I don't buy that, Lucky," she countered.

"Really? Well then ask Jason - he can vouch for it."

"Come on, Lucky, I don't believe that," Jason pledged.

"That's not what you said the other night."

The other night, Jason noted. He cringed, realizing that Lucky had no idea how long he'd been gone.

"I said a lot of things that night that I regret, Lucky," Jason admitted quietly, slowly reaching for Lucky again. "But I never believed you deserved this kind of abuse..."

"Unless you were the one dishing it out, right?" Lucky pushed Jason's hand away. "Why don't you just go - just leave me alone. You told me that's what you really wanted. And it's what I want, too."

Jason looked into Lucky's eyes, and knew he was lying. Lucky swiftly turned away, refusing to allow Jason to see his hope, unwilling to surrender to Jason's warmth and understanding. He didn't deserve the chance for redemption that Jason was offering.

"I'm not leaving, Lucky," Jason vowed. "Not until you tell me who did this to you."

"That isn't part of our arrangement anymore," Lucky sneered as Karen lingered awkwardly, feeling like an interloper in this intimate exchange. "I don't have to tell you who or what I do now, remember?"

"Damn it," Jason cursed in frustration. "Why do you have to make everything so hard?"

He regretted the words as soon as he saw Lucky's sadly triumphant smirk.

"It's what I do best," Lucky laughed bitterly.

"You know that's not what I meant..." Jason tried to backtrack.

"Sure it is, Jason. We both know it's the truth. I forgot it, for a little while, but that night at the Battering Ram made it crystal clear. I should really thank you for that."

"Cut it out, Lucky."

"I'm not your slave anymore, Jason," Lucky noted flatly, oblivious to Karen's shocked reaction to this conversation, to that statement. "You let me go, remember?"

"But where, Lucky, where did you go?" Jason pleaded, anxious to keep Lucky from falling into a sea of despair, needing to find an outlet for his own anger and guilt.

Lucky just shook his head and closed his eyes, mental and physical exhaustion overtaking him.

Jason reached down, taking Lucky's hand in his, relieved when Lucky accepted his touch and held on.

"I went home," he muttered. "Back to Hell."

Karen didn't understand Lucky's remark, but she caught Jason's venomous glare. There was obviously more information in that answer than she understood.

"Back to Hell..." Jason repeated, sealing his intentions and Helena Cassadine's death warrant.


Hours Later

The room was quiet. The whole place was quiet.

There was no city noise or street traffic filtering in from outside. Past the crack in the closed curtains, it was pitch black. Inside, the dwindling glow of flames danced in the fireplace, casting a golden glow over the room. The rest of the world seemed very far away.

The solitude was soothing, dreamlike.

Karen had retired to a room somewhere beyond these four walls to finally get some rest. Jason was still guarding over Lucky's recovery, seated in the chair by the bed, arms crossed over his chest, head bent forward, eyes closed, poised in watchful slumber.

He'd only given in to sleep after Lucky pretended to drift off himself.

Studying Jason now, in the firelight, his skin soaked in color, his chest rising and falling, his face cast in shadow, Lucky started to wonder what it would be like if things could be different - if things could be like this, always.

Well, maybe not exactly like this, he decided, wincing slightly as he tried to prop himself up more against the pillows. His hand went to his ribcage, gingerly investigating the damage. His fingers brushed over the bandaged cut as well. He tried not to think about it. He'd be fine, he was fine, now that he was here...wherever here was.

He looked around the room again, wondering if they were even in Port Charles anymore. They could be in another country for all he knew, although he doubted Dr. Wexler would be here then. Besides, it didn't really matter how far away they went, his past would always catch up to him - so why bother?

He felt somewhat detached from that fact right now, though. It had to be the pills Karen gave him. He was calm, calmer than he could ever remember being. It should have been unsettling, but for now, he couldn't actually feel how uneasy it made him. Calm tore down his defenses, made him less vigilant. Calm could get him into trouble. It could endanger those around him, hurt the people he loved...

Lucky glanced at Jason again, taking in his beauty. This was what got him through those grueling days and nights with George, picturing that face staring back at him, those hands on his body, Jason's cock inside of him. It didn't compare to the real thing, but then Lucky wasn't sure he'd ever get the real thing again.

Even now, lying here so close to him, Lucky didn't know where they stood. Jason was concerned about him, Lucky saw that, but was it just guilt that kept him here - or was it something more?

In the stillness, Lucky had no doubts about what he wanted. He licked his own lips as he focused on Jason's mouth. If this was just some temporary reprieve, he wanted a real taste before it ended. Clenching his teeth against the pain in his side, he started to move himself closer to Jason, set on stealing a kiss.

The rustling bedcovers drew Jason awake with a start. He looked around the room before focusing on Lucky, who was perched up on one arm at the edge of the bed. He looked troubled.

Jason bolted from the chair, afraid Lucky would fall. "What's wrong?" he wondered, listening for any noises that might explain why Lucky was awake and apparently trying to climb out of bed. "Are you okay?"

"No," Lucky admitted haltingly. Now that Jason was awake, the calm haze seemed to be wearing off. He tried to ease himself back down on the bed.

"Here, let me..." Jason offered, reaching behind Lucky to prop up the pillows. Lucky let out an involuntary moan. After so much wishing, he was finally back in Jason's arms. Unsure if he'd ever get this chance again, Lucky leaned into him, allowing himself to revel in the familiar warmth and strength.

"God, Lucky, what did she do to you?" Jason whispered as Lucky shivered in his grasp.

The reference to Helena had a different kind of chilling effect. Lucky froze, then pulled away from Jason's gentle embrace as recent nightmares assaulted him.

"She didn't do anything to me, Jason. Helena always has someone else do her dirty work. This time, she had the perfect accomplice."

"George?"

"Me."

Jason sank into his chair again and slowly shook his head. "You can't blame yourself for what they did to you, Lucky. You were taken. From those cuts and fractures, I know you didn't go willingly."

Any lingering serenity was quickly fading away. Lucky had hoped this interrogation could wait one more night, but Jason was set on spoiling the mood. "Not at first, no," Lucky agreed. "I always resist - it's like foreplay. You know that."

Jason just looked away, and Lucky forged ahead.

"It was like that this time, too. A lot of beating around the bush - if you know what I mean. After a while, I got tired of waiting for you to rescue me. So one night, I got George to unchain me. I persuaded him to take me to his room - to his bed."

"I don't believe you."

"Oh, come on, Jason. You know better than anyone how good I am at talking my way into a guy's bed. Even George gets tired of all torture all the time. He loved the idea of taking away all the restraints and just fucking me. Just me and him - man to man. You understand that, right? I mean, he didn't call it making love, but he was thrilled to have me follow him willingly into his bed, fuck me while I begged him for it and then fall asleep with me in his arms."

Jason chafed at the comparison while trying to ignore the mental image of Lucky and George in the afterglow. "And then?"

Lucky noted the forced restraint on Jason's face. Jealousy. It was a promising sign. "Once I was sure George was sleeping soundly - and believe me, I used every trick in the book to exhaust him - I made a run for it. I got out of bed and went out the window. Well, broke through it, actually. Guess you could say my patience ran out. That's the last thing I remember before waking up here."

"You jumped? Did you even know how far down it was?"

"I figured I could make it," Lucky shrugged. "It was worth the risk."

"But you could have died."

"I would have died, if I'd stayed."

"But she didn't let you," a shaken Jason tried to make sense of Lucky's story. "Helena was the one who sent you back to me."

To Jason, it didn't add up, but Lucky knew her tactics better than most. "She wanted you to know she broke your toy."

"You're not a toy, Lucky, not to me," Jason argued.

"But that's how Helena sees me - like some kind of puppet she can trot out for her amusement, the more perverse, the better. I think she probably got pissed off at George for breaking something that belonged to her, for almost letting it get away. So she sent me back to you as a lesson, to him, to you, to all of us: she can fuck with me wherever and whenever she wants, until she gets tired. Or until she kills me. Whichever comes first, pardon the pun."

"She won't get another chance, Lucky," Jason vowed. "I won't let her."

"You won't have a choice."

"How can you say that?" Jason asked, alarmed at Lucky's seemingly defeated resignation.

"Experience," Lucky stated evenly. "I am, unfortunately, intimately familiar with Helena Cassadine's twisted mind. And this is what she lives for. It has all the makings of a setup, Jason. She wants something, I can feel it. Helena knows that you'll make a move against her - she's counting on it."

"Then she won't be surprised when I destroy her."

"That's not how it works," Lucky cautioned. "You have to think this through, from every angle. I don't want anything to happen to you because of me."

"It won't," Jason promised, reaching out to Lucky, who was becoming increasingly agitated. He caressed his fingers along one flushed, hot cheek. "Don't worry about it. I can handle Helena Cassadine."

"You're not listening to me, Jason..."

Jason's fingers trailed to Lucky's lips, cutting off his warning. Lucky met his determined gaze and gave up the argument, for now. In the remaining silence, Jason's touch lingered, and for a moment Lucky thought he might attempt something more. But eventually Jason's hand dropped to the bedspread, along with his gaze, and Lucky's hopes.

"I understand what you're saying, Lucky. But you don't have to worry about Helena anymore. I'll take care of her. You just rest, and try to get better."

"Is that an order?" Lucky offered a weak grin as he lay back against the pillows.

"Just a suggestion," Jason smiled back, smoothing Lucky's hair from his fevered brow.

Lucky closed his eyes, intending to feign sleep again. But weariness and worry combined to make slumber a reality. Jason watched him drift off, hoping his plans would put an end to Lucky's nightmares once and for all.


A Couple Days Later

"Are you awake?"

"Where's Jason?"

Karen was slightly disheartened when Lucky pulled away from her warily. Her lack of an answer seemed to rekindle Lucky's anxiety. She had made steady progress the previous day, to the point where Lucky had allowed her to examine him without requiring Jason's presence in the room. Not that Jason had left Lucky's side for long - Karen was amazed to discover him gone this morning.

"He called a little while ago, to check in on you. He said he had to take care of a few things, but he'll be back this evening."

"Tonight?"

"It's just a few hours, really," Karen tried to assuage him. "You slept a long time, which is good. Your body needs that to heal. It's past 11AM now - Jason will be here in no time, you'll see," she patted his hand. He shook her off impatiently.

"Don't patronize me. I'm not a child."

"I know that, Lucky," Karen sighed. It was hard to keep up with Lucky's mood swings, which weren't surprising, given the obvious trauma he'd suffered. A few days of rest wasn't enough to fix that. "Let me check you out, and then you can prove it to me."

"I don't have to prove anything to you," Lucky countered. But he surprised Karen by submitting to the examination.

"Are you through?" he sighed, after Karen had finished poking and prodding him.

"All done," she replied. "That wasn't so bad, was it?"

At Lucky's irritated scowl, she reminded herself to lose the condescending doctor tone. That particular approach didn't seem to work with Lucky. It was time for some straight-talk.

"Lucky, you have made remarkable progress," she began. "It will take some more time, but your body is well on its way to a full recovery."

"So when can I get out of here?"

"Not so fast," she cautioned. "You still have to rest and recuperate. You were gone for a long time, and it's going to take your body a while to get back to fighting shape." Wrong choice of words, she groaned inwardly.

"I wasn't gone that long."

"Do you know what day it is, Lucky?" He shook his head. "Any idea?"

"I don't know," he paused. "Sometime in late November?"

Karen took a deep breath. "It's December 23rd, Lucky."

"Yeah, right," Lucky scoffed. "You're trying to tell me that I've been gone for..." He paled, realizing what that meant. George and Helena had kept him captive for a full month. "I don't believe you," he declared.

"See for yourself," she handed him the morning newspaper.

"This doesn't prove anything," Lucky tossed it aside. "You could have faked it."

"But why would I want to?"

"I don't know," Lucky snapped. "Why are you here at all? I don't even know you."

His anxiety was quickly increasing, so Karen reached for an answer she hoped would settle his suspicions. "I'm here because Jason asked me."

"And you'll do anything Jason asks?" he smirked. "Maybe we do have something in common."

Karen ignored the jibe. "You were in serious need of help when Jason brought you to me," she explained. "And I swore an oath, as a doctor, one that I take very seriously."

"Well, I appreciate what you've done, but I don't want any more of your help," Lucky tried to dismiss her. His head was beginning to pound, and he just wanted to go back to sleep. Even if he had nightmares, at least he didn't have to be consciously aware of the memories now assaulting him.

"Well, that's too bad, Lucky, because you're going to keep getting it," Karen insisted, motioning to someone in the hallway.

Lucky didn't notice, as he closed his eyes and slumped down on the bed. He didn't really even know why he was arguing with her. Karen had done nothing but help him, and there was no reason for her to lie to him. But he just couldn't believe he'd been in Helena's custody for so long, and no one had ever found him. The flood of images running through his mind persuaded him that she was being truthful.

"I'm sorry," he began to apologize, opening his eyes. But he stopped short when he realized they had company.

"Hello, Lucky," Kevin Collins greeted him.

Oh, nice try, he thought, rolling his eyes at the obvious setup. Jason takes off, leaving Karen to play bad cop, and then they spring Kevin on him. The psychiatrist obviously had no idea what they were getting him into.

But what the hell - this could be fun, Lucky determined. "Hey, Kevin," he casually replied.

Karen was momentarily thrown - she'd expected Lucky to balk as soon as he saw Dr. Collins. "I only had one condition when I agreed to this arrangement," she explained. "I told Jason I would look after you, but I insisted that Kevin be part of the deal."

"Fine with me," Lucky shrugged, amazing a pleasantly surprised Karen and alerting an intrigued Kevin.

"Good - I'm glad you don't mind," Karen smiled.

"Who am I to object?" Lucky grinned in return. "He's not really my type, but I can see why you'd think he's doable." Karen regarded Lucky quizzically; Kevin didn't say a word, realizing what Lucky was doing. "This place must be pretty secluded. Whatever you two want to do up here, go for it. Maybe when Jason gets back, he'll even join in.

"Just do me one favor - leave me out of it."

Two hours later

Kevin sat back and regarded his reluctant patient. This was going to be even harder, and more fascinating, than he had originally assumed. When Karen asked for his help, Kevin had hesitated, not wanting to complicate his life unnecessarily. But Karen's impassioned plea helped to persuade him.

Kevin had some idea of what Lucky had been through, from reading newspaper accounts and talking to Mac. And he had never forgotten the one brief session they had, when Lucky was a cocky adolescent, desperate to help his baby sister.

The young man Kevin saw before him today was just as cocky. And even more desperate. Only this time, Lucky was the one in need of help.

If he'd only accept it.

They'd been locked in battle since the morning. Every avenue of discussion Kevin tried, Lucky blocked with a verbal blast, deliberate silence or derisive laughter. But Kevin continued to plug away.

"Getting tired of this yet?"

"Me? Not even close. You'd be surprised how much I can take. Although usually after this much torture, I'd be screaming instead of yawning," Lucky quipped.

"So you think you have a pretty high threshold for pain?" Kevin probed. This wasn't Lucky's first reference to withstanding suffering.

"You have no idea."

"Why don't you tell me."

"Why don't you try me?"

"What do you mean?"

"If you want to know how much pain I can take, let me show you."

Kevin looked at him quizzically. "You want me to hit you?" he inferred.

Lucky let out an amused breath in response. "Well, if that's the only thing you can come up with, sure, although I figured a shrink would be a little more creative. Especially one who used to be a psycho."

Well, now it's really getting interesting, Kevin noted wryly. But he didn't flinch.

"Impressive, Doctor," Lucky lauded. "You have a good poker face. That's another game I'm pretty good at."

"So, this is all a game to you."

"Pretty much."

"Who's winning?"

"So far? I'd say it's a draw," Lucky evaluated. "What do you think?"

"I think you're way ahead of me, Lucky," Kevin admitted. "I'm not much of a poker man, but I do know that you hold all the cards here. Without your help, I am just wasting my time and yours. So why don't you show me your hand and we can get on with this."

"Aww, where's the fun in that?" Lucky protested.

"Are you really having fun, Lucky?" Kevin pushed. "Because you don't look like you are. You look like you're in pain."

"Who says pain can't be fun?"

"Well, most people don't enjoy being in pain. Do you?"

"Yes."

Lucky's direct answer startled Kevin, who regarded Lucky carefully, trying to determine if he was still bantering. But he seemed sincere.

"Emotional or physical pain?"

"Both."

"Have you always enjoyed it?"

"I don't think so."

Kevin was moved by Lucky's answer - the first hint of any doubt or uncertainty he'd allowed himself to admit. Kevin knew the moment wouldn't last, and he didn't want to waste it. But he didn't want to push Lucky too far, either.

"When did you start to enjoy it, do you think?"

Lucky's expression clouded momentarily, as if the question had transported him back in time to some dark place or moment, but his visit was too brief for Kevin to decipher. With an audible sigh, Lucky returned, concealing his introspection with a shrug.

"I don't know - I think after being alone and abused for so long, it was what I got used to. So I figured why fight it? You know, just lie back and enjoy it."

"If you can't beat them..." Kevin offered.

"...let them beat you?" Lucky added his own ending.

Kevin smiled to himself, enjoying the back-and-forth, despite the serious subject matter. Lucky was obviously an intelligent young man, someone who had survived great trauma but hadn't escaped it. Kevin wanted to help him do that.

He wasn't sure why Lucky had decided to stop stonewalling, but he was happy for the break. He decided to switch gears to see if Lucky would still be so cooperative, or if he was just trying a new game.

"It seems like you lost track of time a bit when you were kidnapped. What did you think when Karen told you the date."

Nice move, Lucky silently noted. He'd decided to go along with Kevin for a bit, just to see how far he could take it without actually revealing anything. Seemed like the doctor had some strategies of his own.

"When I found out it was December 23rd? I realized I'd missed my mother's birthday. Again. Fourth year in a row."

"Did that bother you?"

"Not really."

"Do you think she misses you?"

"I don't know."

"Do you miss her?"

"Not anymore," Lucky lied.

"What about Luke?"

"What about him?"

Kevin noted Lucky's immediately defensive posture. "You must have missed him when you were gone for all those years. Are you close to him still?"

"No."

"Do you regret that?"

"It's not my fault."

"I didn't say it was."

"No."

"No, what?"

"No, I don't regret it," Lucky lied again, only this time, Kevin could see through it.

"What about your little sister?"

"Yeah, I miss Lulu," Lucky conceded, a genuine smile taking over his features.

"I bet she misses you, too."

"She has another brother. She doesn't need me."

"You don't really believe that, do you?"

"No, but she does," Lucky shifted uncomfortably, remembering how stiff and awkward his few interactions with Lulu had been since his return, how she seemed to prefer Nikolas' company to his. How effortlessly they seemed to get along now.

"Come on, Lucky. You're smarter than that. You know your brother could never replace you."

"Didn't stop him from trying, though." Lucky took a deep breath, trying to regain control of the conversation, which was beginning to enter dangerous territory. "But unfortunately for Nikolas, he and I aren't identical twins."

Kevin laughed, refusing to take Lucky's Ryan-bait. "No, you and Nikolas are nothing alike, as far as I can tell," he concurred.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Lucky lost his cool. "You know, Nikolas isn't always the sweet, together, compassionate prince he appears to be. You have no idea the kinds of things he's capable of..."

Lucky stopped abruptly, bolting from his chair and wincing in pain at the effort. "I don't want to talk about Nikolas. He has nothing to do with my life anymore, and that's the way I want it."

"Fine, Lucky, we don't have to talk about your brother."

"He's not my brother, or my prince," Lucky sneered. "He's nothing to me."

"Okay," Kevin said agreeably. "But it sounds like you don't have much to do with any of your family these days."

"Well, the kidnappers didn't allow me many visitors."

"Touché," Kevin replied, allowing Lucky to savor the verbal triumph as he motioned for him to sit down again. "Still, I remember when you were a teenager, Lucky, you were very close to your family. I know a lot has happened since then, but you must miss that, at least a little bit."

"No, I don't," Lucky insisted, slumping back down opposite the doctor. "I'm used to being alone."

Kevin decided to change course again. He needed to figure out what was going on between his patient and Port Charles' enigmatic mobster. He had his theory, but he needed substantiation. "You seem to miss Jason," he took a swing.

"Jason's not family."

"What is he?"

"I think he's an importer," Lucky quipped. "Or is it an exporter?"

"You know what I mean."

"What's Jason? Let's see, he's about 5'11", 190 pounds, washboard stomach, amazing abs, a great ass and a beautiful cock."

"Really?" Kevin tried to remain nonchalant. "Interesting."

"Yeah, I'd say he's about 7 inches erect, but very thick - you know, you have to really open wide to take him all in. Does that answer your question?" Lucky smirked, noting Kevin's piqued interest.

"I guess so," Kevin nodded. "I think I got the picture. I wanted to know how you see Jason."

"Well, on my knees, usually."

"Must make it hard to get a full view."

Gotta hand it to the guy, Lucky laughed. Kevin was seemingly unshockable. But Lucky loved a challenge. "Depends on the angle," Lucky retorted.

"Let's try a new one then," Kevin pressed on. "How do you think Jason sees you?"

"As a mistake," Lucky answered honestly, surprising himself and Kevin.

"Do you really believe that?"

Lucky didn't respond.

"So what's all this then?" Kevin gestured to the elaborate makeshift hospital Jason had setup for Lucky's recovery.

"His way of taking responsibility."

"Is he responsible?"

"Not for me - and not for what happened to me," Lucky shook his head sadly.

"Who is?"

"I am."

"And what happened to you, Lucky?"

"My life, I guess."

"And you want to take responsibility for it, control of it?"

"I have to."

"Why?"

"Because if I don't, then someone else will."

"Is that what Jason is trying to do?"

"No, no - he just wants to love me," Lucky sincerely averred.

Kevin waited for Lucky to continue.

"Jason thinks that if I just let him in, if I let my guard down, that I'll be the good, decent, honorable person he thinks I can be. But he doesn't realize that I have nothing pure or honest or loving left in me." Lucky paused, refusing to give into the tears pooling in his eyes. "If he ever did get through, he'd hate me. Because then he'd see who I really am."

"And who is that, Lucky?" Kevin gently pushed. "What do you see when you look in the mirror?"

"A monster."

Kevin struggled to get a grip on his own emotions. It was clear to him that Lucky had been severely abused. That his personality, and sexuality, had been altered, perhaps irrevocably, by involuntary and eventually willing acts of perversion and passion. Kevin knew more about that than he ever wanted to.

He met Lucky's gaze knowingly. Lucky immediately turned away, but not before Kevin saw the recognition, and panic, in his eyes.

"Lucky..." Kevin tried to reassure him.

"Had you going there, didn't I?" Lucky cut him off, a gloating smile on his face. "The Spencer bluff - it never fails."

Kevin sighed. He'd pushed too far. No empathetic look or glance would bring Lucky back to that moment. Lucky was back to the games, but Kevin refused to play this time.

"You can't take it back, Lucky. It was cards on the table time, and the cards don't lie, right?"

"You were right," Lucky admitted, rising from his chair and approaching Kevin, suggestively eyeing him from head to toe. "You are a very bad poker player."

He took Kevin by surprise, and force, with his next move, straddling the doctor's lap and taking Kevin's face firmly in his hands.

"Time to pay up," Lucky breathed, capturing Kevin's lips in a hard, demanding kiss. Kevin resisted, but Lucky had a firm grasp on his face. He pressed himself down, pinning Kevin in the chair, the power of the moment overriding any pain Lucky felt. He pushed Kevin's mouth open, roughly biting down on his lower lip, then plunging his tongue in when Kevin gasped in pain and astonishment.

Surrendering to the younger man's position and determination, Kevin began to accept the kiss, refusing to back away from Lucky's passionate ploy.

After a few moments, Lucky pulled back triumphantly, waiting for the inevitable scolding.

"Did you really get what you wanted with that?" Kevin asked, unfazed.

Lucky admired the doctor's ability to improvise. But he couldn't let it go. He ran his hand down Kevin's chest, then delved into his crotch, where he tried to detect any hint of arousal. "Well, not yet," he noted. The doctor was apparently a man of great self-control, but Lucky knew how to provoke him. He lightly squeezed Kevin's dick, which twitched under Lucky's gentle touch, showing signs of what promised to be an impressive erection. "But I know most good psychiatrists don't put out on the first session."

Kevin took a deep breath, trying to figure out how exactly to handle, or unhandle this. But Karen's impeccable timing forced his hand.

"I think we should head back," she chirped, stepping into the room to find Lucky on Kevin's lap, with his hand in his crotch. "Oh my…I didn't mean to interrupt," she mumbled automatically before regaining her wits. "What the hell is going on here?"

"Just some good old-fashioned physical therapy," Lucky laughed, then turned back to Kevin. "Maybe next time, we should lock the door," he whispered.

"OFF!" Kevin finally barked, irritated with Lucky and angry at himself for losing control of the situation, not to mention his libido.

Lucky relented, dismounting quickly and smiling gleefully at Kevin's discomfort. He congratulated himself on his quick-witted triumph. He'd almost blown it, and allowed Kevin to break his defenses.

As Jason could have told Dr. Collins, Lucky would not allow that.

Not without a fight.

Christmas Eve

"Looks good - mind if I join you?"

"Be your guest," Lucky conceded. 

He stood up from the bed, pushing away his breakfast tray. Jason half expected Lucky to toss it at him.  Karen had cautioned him before she left that her patient was growing restless.  It seemed Jason's overdue return didn't help matters.  Seeing Lucky on his feet and out of bed was an encouraging sight, but not when he was heading towards the door.

"Lucky, come on, don’t walk out."

"Keeping me prisoner now?"

Jason halted his appeal, wounded by Lucky's accusation.  "You know you're free to leave anytime."

"Come and go as I please, just like you?"

Lucky wasn't just restless, he was angry.  Jason wasn't sure why, but he had a good idea.

"Look, I know I said I'd be back last night, but..."

"Don't sweat it, Jason.  I know you have responsibilities at home - family to tend to, a wife to fuck.  It's not like I missed you.  I had Kevin to occupy my time."

Jason sighed, realizing why Lucky was so upset with him.  He'd only found out about Kevin's visit after the fact.  Lucky must have seen it as an ambush.  "I'm sorry about that."

"A little advance notice would have been nice," Lucky shrugged.  "I wasn't really sure how to play it. Kevin doesn't have much of an imagination..."

"What do you mean?" Jason questioned, wary of Lucky's nonchalance.

"Well, you'd think someone with his background would be able to come up with some pretty deviant fantasies, but he just wanted to play it straight.  Not completely, of course," Lucky smirked.  "He is a pretty good kisser."

"What the hell did you do, Lucky?" Jason's fear, combined with his exhaustion, was quickly darkening his mood.

"I'm giving you the full report.  Or maybe it's not necessary.  Were you watching the whole time, on some sort of remote video feed?"  He craned his neck, as if searching the room.

"There are no cameras here."

"Well, that's good, because you probably would have been disappointed with my performance." 

"Performance?"

"Yeah - it wasn't a great show, but I did get the good doctor all worked up. Of course, I wasn't quite sure what you wanted me to do with him." 

Jason groaned.

"You really should have left me some instructions before you took off.  Oh, and you might want to let Karen in on the rules around here, too.  She doesn't seem quite as willing to play along as everyone else..."

"I get the point, okay? Can you just give it a rest!" Jason snapped, holding his head in his hands.  He'd had very little sleep in the last 36 hours and no luck tracking down Helena yet.  Lucky's barrage was more than he could take right now.

"All I've done is rest," Lucky lamented.  Rest and worry.  Now that Jason was back, without a scratch on him, Lucky's relief had turned to anger for being left here to worry in the first place.  But he didn't want to fight with Jason...

"What I need is something more stimulating," he persuaded, making his way closer to Jason.

Jason tried to keep his eyes closed, but Lucky's approach had the usual effect.  He could feel his pulse quicken and his breath catch.  He looked up finally and couldn't help but marvel at the latest changes in Lucky's appearance - he looked better.  He had some color in his cheeks and his eyes didn't have that haunted stare.  Not completely, anyway.

No, Lucky's blue gaze was dark with a desire Jason recognized immediately.  The look that could make Jason make Lucky do anything he wanted him to. 

Jason had no misconceptions about who was really in control here.

"Lucky," Jason breathed softly, trying to back away.

"What?" Lucky innocently put his hands up.

"We can't do this.  We need to talk."

"I know," Lucky agreed.  "And we will, I swear.  But I'm going crazy cooped up here," he added desperately.  "Let's just forget everything else for now and make up for lost time.  I want to taste your cock again, Jason," he pressed his body closer, squeezing Jason's crotch, surprised to find him unaroused after their heated exchange. 

Lucky's own hard-on was straining against his clothing, aching for release.  His body was accustomed to almost constant arousal, intensely programmed by George's sexual routines.  It had been days now since Lucky had sucked or been fucked, and weeks since he'd had Jason. He needed him, especially after Kevin‘s visit.  Buried memories had resurfaced like bile and Lucky wanted to wash it all back down again.

Jason moved Lucky's hand away from his zipper.  Four weeks of weariness and guilt, along with the last few days of worry and concern, were finally catching up with him.  Even if he was in the mood to lose himself in Lucky for the next few...minutes, hours, days... the doctors Wexler and Collins had left strict instructions not to push Lucky too far, emotionally or physically.

He was sure their definition of "too far'" fell far short of Lucky's abilities, but he wasn't planning to put those limits to the test again.  Jason couldn't dispel the hatred he felt every time he thought of Helena and George and what Lucky had endured once again - because of Jason's own selfish mistakes.  He never should have walked out on Lucky that night.  He never should have taken him to the bar in the first place.

All Jason wanted to do was lie down and close his eyes without feeling so guilty, without the nightmare of the Battering Ram running through his mind.  He wanted to be with Lucky, hold him, comfort him - but everything seemed too complicated. Now wasn't the time for that. He had to control his desires.

"It's not gonna happen, Lucky," Jason insisted firmly, stepping away from him and slumping down into a leather armchair.

Taking up the challenge, Lucky tried another approach. "You want me to beg for it.  I can do that," he persisted, dropping to his knees.  He pushed Jason's legs apart and tugged at Jason's zipper, sliding his hand inside and stroking Jason's dick.  "Please, Jason, please, I need you," he softly pleaded, trying to coax him into arousal.

Jason closed his eyes and leaned his head back.  Part of him wanted to surrender to Lucky's will, as he had so many times before.  But he couldn't, not now.  His own heart was wary of the damage he might do, and Karen had warned him to take things slowly.

He sighed in frustration, and Lucky finally withdrew his hand, letting Jason zip up again, his dick still soft.

Lucky frowned, trying not to look so crushed.  He'd imagined being with Jason again for so long that he forgot where they left off.

"I told you, this isn't the time."

"You don't want me anymore," Lucky determined, his voice thick with hurt and regret.  "I ruined it."

Jason immediately edge forward in the seat, shaking his head.  "No, no, Lucky, that's not it."

"Sure it is.  I was stupid to think that you'd want me back," Lucky sullenly mused.  "You spelled it out loud and clear that night at the Battering Ram.  You told me you were sick of me, that you never wanted to see me again.  I bet you were thrilled when I disappeared."

Jason winced at the allegation.  "Lucky, you know that's not true.  I told you the other night how much I missed you."

"Yeah, well guilt can make a person say a lot of things, Jason, even you.  But your dick doesn't lie.  And I've never had any trouble bringing it to life before," Lucky boasted.  "So there's definitely something wrong."

"I'm just tired, that's all," Jason maintained.  "Don't make such a big deal out of this."

"But it is a big deal.  Or it could be," Lucky implied, hopefully.  He bowed his head, nuzzling his face against Jason's crotch and sliding his tongue along the fabric of his pants.

"Enough!" Jason demanded, nudging him back.  He was going to lose his battle if Lucky kept this up.  "Jesus, what do I have to do to get you to stop?"

"You could tie me up," Lucky suggested, his eyes locked on Jason's irritated expression.  "Or just give in and let me suck your cock until you explode."

Jason closed his eyes briefly, trying to focus on his last thread of self-control.  "I could, but I'm not going to," he asserted. 

"Why not?"

The desperate tone made him ache, but he couldn't give in to it.  "Because, Lucky, you're still healing."

"There's nothing wrong with my mouth, Jason.  Let me show you."

His persuasive smile caught Jason's attention.  Lucky's mouth looked perfectly okay to him, invitingly so, but it wasn't just Lucky's physical health that he was concerned about.

"No, I told you.  We can't.  Both Karen and Kevin agreed it's too soon."

Lucky stared up at him, stung.  "So you're clearing our sex schedule with them now?"

"We don't have a sex schedule, Lucky."

"I know - that's what made it so great.  You would fuck me whenever you wanted to, Jason.  It's pretty clear that no longer interests you."

"How can it interest you?" Jason erupted, truly concerned.  "After everything you’ve been through, I don't understand how you can even think about sex..."

If this was only about sex, he wouldn‘t have jumped through that window - he‘d still be chained up in George‘s loft, aching to come. 

"Well, that's the best thing about whores, Jason," Lucky quickly recovered.  "We'll do anyone, anywhere, any way, then beg for more."

Jason's voice caught in his throat and his words came out in a heavy whisper.   "Don't call yourself that..."

"Why not? Only you get that privilege?"

Jason just shook his head.  He was trying to battle the damage he had inflicted, the pain he had caused, but he was only making things worse. He didn't know what else to do.

"What's the matter, Jason?  Having a little trouble being honest?  There's no one else here," Lucky provoked.  "No shrink or ex-girlfriend to judge you.  I know exactly what you think of me.  You showed me that night at the Battering Ram.  So don't go easy on me now, just because I got a little banged up .  You don't have to protect me.  There are better ways to make amends."  He stood up and began to strip.

"Lucky," Jason protested, though not as strongly as before.  He couldn't tear his gaze away as the clothing piled up on the floor, but his heart ached with every revealed cut and bruise marring Lucky's stunning body.  It renewed Jason's determination to find out where Helena and George had disappeared to, and then make them pay. 

His thirst for revenge turned into a different kind of lust as Lucky slipped off his boxers.  Jason took note of his erection - full, ripe, and aching.

"I've been hard for hours, just waiting for you to come back," Lucky admitted.  "I didn't want to jerk off.  Correction:  I wanted to, but I wasn't sure you'd want me to, so I waited for you.  I guess that was a mistake."

He sat down on the bed and began to stroke himself, moaning in pleasure and relief as he gripped his leaking cock, sliding his fist up and down with growing momentum until his shaft glistened, his pulse thundered, and he knew he was about to come.  Just as he was on the verge, he stopped.

"What are you doing?" Jason rasped.  He'd been mesmerized by the performance - watching Lucky pleasure himself had always pleased Jason as well.  And today was no exception.  Jason finally felt his own groin swelling while observing Lucky's display.  "Why did you stop?"

"I didn't get permission to come."

"You don't need my permission, Lucky.  I'm not your master."

"I know," Lucky concurred.  "I was hoping you'd take me back, but you haven't.  So I guess I still belong to him."

"Who?" Jason asked, familiar feelings of possessiveness and rage boiling up.

"George, of course.  Until I find someone else who'll have me."

"You don't have to play the slave anymore, Lucky," Jason insisted.

"It's who I am," Lucky replied flatly. He rose from the bed and slowly turned around, his back to Jason. He didn’t want him to see this new badge of shame, but he wouldn’t be able to hide it forever.

Jason gasped audibly, noticing the tattoo that appeared just above Lucky's ass.  He shot to his feet, taking a step closer.

"They thought about putting 'Property of Helena,’ but George didn’t want anyone to feel left out. So he just put 'Slave,' because that's what I am.  I'll kneel for anyone who can take me.  And now, anyone who does will know it, too."

"Lucky, stop it," Jason pleaded, reaching out and gently running his hand over the tattoo, wishing he could wipe it away, wipe it all away.  "Please stop saying that."

"It's the truth."

"No, it isn't," Jason asserted, shaking his head as he continued to caress the vulgar stain, as if he could eventually rub it off.  "We can get rid of this."

"Why bother?" Lucky's voice cracked as he savored Jason's touch, something he'd been starving for since his return.

"Because it's not true," Jason fiercely declared.  "You are not a slave."

Lucky tried to swallow back the pain in his throat as he blinked back tears, unable to face Jason. "Then what am I?"

“You...you are amazing, and strong, and irresistible," Jason whispered, wrapping his arms around Lucky and placing a soft kiss on his back.

"Show me," Lucky requested just as softly.

"I will," Jason vowed, turning Lucky to face him. He saw the uncertainty in those watery blue eyes and pulled him even closer, commanding his lips with a fierce, passionate kiss, trying to erase four weeks and one brutal night in a single embrace.

The kiss was long and slow, charged with love and lust, need and desire.  Lucky's body trembled as he reveled in Jason's renewed affection.  Jason grabbed onto the younger man, seeking his own redemption by reclaiming Lucky‘s trust.

Lucky finally pulled away, panting with need.  "So I guess you do want me," he murmured, reaching down to grip the bulge of Jason's erect prick.

"I never stopped," Jason affirmed, his breath ragged. 

Lucky dropped to his knees, stripping Jason from his pants, and hungrily engulfing his cock. He eagerly reacquainted himself with every inch, quickly bringing Jason to full arousal as he greedily sucked on the engorged flesh, grazing his tongue roughly over Jason's throbbing organ. 

Jason groaned when Lucky released him, then again when he felt Lucky's tongue trailing over his balls.  Lucky pulled back, licked his lips and lowered his mouth around Jason's dick again, bobbing his head as Jason began to thrust himself in and out of Lucky's throat.

Lucky could tell Jason was about to come, so he quickly drew off of him again, startling Jason by standing up and pulling him into a hard, fast kiss. 

"Fuck me, Jason, now," Lucky begged, turning around and guiding Jason's wet cock to his tight hole.  He needed to feel Jason fully inside him, to expel the indignities of the last month, to erase the memory of anyone, or anything else, invading him.

"Lucky, no," Jason pulled back, unsure.  "You're not ready for this."  He was worried that he'd injure Lucky further. 

Reopening physical wounds didn't matter to Lucky - he needed his own brand of healing, the kind only Jason's touch could provide.

"I've been ready for so long," Lucky assured, pushing back against Jason's erection, commanding Jason to take him. "I thought you wanted me."

"I do."

"How much?"

"Too much," Jason answered, gripping Lucky's hips. Desire won out over caution as he slipped inside Lucky, grunting in utter carnal bliss and emotional relief.

Lucky clenched his teeth, groaning in pleasure and pain as Jason's dick invaded his tender ass. He squeezed his eyes shut, leaning back into Jason and letting his body absorb the one man he truly craved, finally getting the chance to feast.

"God, Lucky," Jason moaned, thrilled to experience him so intimately once again.  He rocked himself gently, in and out, slowly increasing his pace.

"Faster," Lucky urged.  His insides seared with the movement as Jason's thickness rubbed against raw abrasions that hadn't yet healed.  But the ache of past abuse didn't compare to the sheer sensual and emotional euphoria of Jason's cock filling him.  He began to stroke his own arousal in rhythm with Jason's thrusts, then gasped when he felt Jason's hand cover his own.

Passion propelled their actions, and their movements soon grew into a fast, fevered motion, bringing them to the verge.  "I'm going to come, Lucky, and so are you," Jason promised.  He lowered his head, burying his face in the crook of his lover's neck, giving Lucky's dick a soft squeeze and ramming his own cock harder into Lucky's now slippery hole.

They each cried out, in mounting pleasure, as their orgasms approached.  But before either of them could achieve blissful release, an even louder cry, and the clattering of pill bottles on the floor, brought them to a halt.

"Jason, what on earth are you doing?" Karen shrieked, seeing her former boyfriend with his penis buried in the bruised rear end of her still-recovering patient. 

"He's fucking me," Lucky loudly answered, groaning in agony as Jason withdrew his dick from Lucky's ass, and his hand from Lucky's own wet cock.  "Jason, come on.  Don't stop now - we were so close..."

Jason grabbed a blanket from the bed and covered Lucky, then quickly pulled on his own jeans, wincing in pain as he zipped up over his still-throbbing erection.

"What are you doing?" Lucky demanded, throwing off the blanket.  "Just get rid of her."

Jason picked up the blanket and covered Lucky once again.  "Just wait here, for one second.  I need to speak to Karen outside."

"No way," Lucky insisted, glaring at the shocked and outraged doctor, who was attempting to avert her gaze from Lucky's towering erection.

"Lucky, come on, cover yourself up," Jason encouraged.

"Why - it's not like she hasn't seen every inch of me already.  She knows exactly what is going on here, Jason.  If she'd learn how to knock, then she wouldn't keep getting such an eyeful," Lucky grumbled.  "Or maybe she likes watching.  You want to watch, doc?" he crudely inquired, stroking himself.  "Seen enough yet?"

"Lucky!" Jason barked, while Karen turned red with embarrassment.  "This is not helping."

"That's funny, coming from you," Karen glared at Jason.  "I thought you wanted to help him, but here you are, taking advantage of him only days after he was released from the savages who did this to him?  Tell me the difference between you and them," she demanded as Jason turned away, ashamed.

"The difference, Dr. Wexler," Lucky explained with exaggerated patience, his arms crossing over his chest, "Is that I want Jason to fuck me. I want to be with him. He's not hurting me, he's healing me. And maybe you can't tell the difference, but I can. Because I know he loves me."

Jason was as taken aback by Lucky's sincere declaration as Karen was.  But she wasn't swayed by the revealing sentiment.

"Jason was supposed to look after you and give you time for your body to mend, Lucky. If this is love, then I wouldn't want to see hate."

"Well, I've seen both," Lucky retorted.  "And I know the difference."

Lucky meant what he was saying, but Karen couldn't trust his judgment.  Or Jason's, she realized.  She looked at the two men with a mixture of anger and amazement. 

"I can't help you, either of you, if you're just going to ignore my advice."

"Confine it to medicine, and we won't have any trouble."

"Lucky, we need to listen to Karen," Jason differed, wrapping the blanket around him one more time.  "She put herself on the line for you, and for me, and we owe her some thanks and respect."

"I am grateful," Lucky acknowledged.  "But I'm not going to let her run my life or my dick."

"Only Jason gets to do that?" Karen snapped.

"Speaking from experience?" Lucky retorted.  "I forgot, you were his first love..."

Karen bristled with anger but refused to engage in a petty sniping match with an emotionally vulnerable patient.

"Enough, Lucky!" Jason declared. He lowered his tone to address Karen, as she collected the pill bottles from the floor.  "What did you bring?"

"I wanted to drop off a refill on Lucky's medications. I won't be here tonight or tomorrow," she explained.  "And I wanted to make sure he has everything he needs..."

"He does," Lucky answered her with a disdainful smirk.  "So no need to worry.  Thanks for stopping by..."

"Lucky," Jason scolded.

Lucky backed off with a loud sigh, clutching the blanket around his shoulders and sitting down on the bed.  He closed his eyes, focusing on the dull ache radiating through his body - physical pain mixed with unfulfilled desire.

"Karen," Jason tried to explain, guiding her out of the room and into the corridor, leaving the door open.  "I know this looks bad, but I really...I wasn't trying to hurt him.  He told me he was fine, and we just... guess I got carried away.  I'm sorry."

"I'm not your mother, Jason, or your wife," Karen replied curtly.  "All I want is for you to look out for Lucky's best interests, and not your own.  He's been through a traumatic ordeal, and he isn't necessarily thinking clearly," she added in a whisper, although Lucky heard her.  "One of you needs to exercise some judgment and self-restraint."

"You're right, I know," Jason conceded.  "It won't happen again."

"Don't make me any promises," Karen reproached.  "Just do him a favor, and try to keep your...hands...off of him until his body heals, and his mind has a chance to begin to recover.  Lucky was used and abused for someone else's sexual gratification for weeks.  If you love him, Jason, then you'll restrain yourself from doing the same thing."

Jason just nodded, completely shamed by Karen's condemning words. 

"Merry Christmas!" Lucky called out to Karen as he heard her depart.  Jason turned back to him and shook his head as Lucky peeled off the blanket.

"I thought she'd never leave," he groaned, drawing Jason to him.  "But she's finally gone, and I still need you. Time to finish what we started..." 

"I'm sorry, Lucky," Jason shook his head regretfully. "Karen was right.  You need time to heal, and I'm not helping you by..."

"You're right," Lucky nodded.  "You're not helping me by listening to some frigid, uptight prude who can't deal with seeing her first boyfriend fuck another guy.  In other circumstances, I'd probably feel sorry for her, Jason, but right now, I just don't care.  I don't want to think about her anymore."

"Neither do I.  I just want to go home."

"Great - me, too," Lucky agreed, enthused by the suggestion. He slipped off the bed and bent down to pull on his trousers, wincing from a sharp stab of pain that shot through his ribcage. 

Jason reached out, helping Lucky up and taking the pants out of his hands.  "No," he whispered.

"Change your mind?" Lucky grinned.  "Fine by me.  Fuck me now, and then fuck me again when we get back to Port Charles.  Hell, I'll even suck you off on the way there," he offered enthusiastically.  "I'm just glad you didn't listen to her..."

"You're not listening to me, Lucky," Jason corrected him.  "Just stop for a minute, and sit down."

Lucky sighed as he sank down on the edge of the bed again.

"It's Christmas Eve. I have to go back to Port Charles tonight."

"Yeah, okay, I understand.  I'll go with you.  There's no reason for me to stay here."

"Except that it's the safest place you can be right now," Jason tried to reason.  "I don't want Helena grabbing you again."

"I don't want that, either, Jason.  But if I'm with you..."

"You can't be with me," he insisted.  "I have to be with my family tonight."

Lucky sat back, feeling the full sting of those words. 

Jason saw the disappointment and anger behind Lucky's sullen expression. This wasn't the way he wanted to leave things, but then he hadn't planned to let the time - or his affections - get away from him like that. "You know I'd stay here if I could," he attested, looking down at his watch.  "But I've already stayed too late as it is."

"Yeah, I guess you have," Lucky agreed, his voice flat and emotionless. He looked away from Jason's guilty gaze.  "Maybe we both have."

"Lucky, come on," Jason implored.  "Don't say that."  He lowered his head in frustration, rubbing his temples.  "I didn't mean to hurt you, again."

"Don't. Don't do that, Jason," Lucky cut him off quickly.  "I'm not some mistress you have to placate.  I know the score.  Family comes first."  And I don't come at all, he thought bitterly.

Jason cursed as his cell phone rang and his pager went off at the same time.  "I'm sorry - I have to go," he apologized, knowing he couldn't make up for cutting out on Lucky like this. 

"Fine, go before they put out an APB," Lucky flippantly gave in, crawling back into bed.

Jason hesitated, but he'd promised Michael he'd be home. If he wasn't, Carly might just go to such extremes. He had to go. "I've made sure there's a guard on you tonight, a new guy Sonny sent up.  He won't bother you.  He's just here to watch the perimeter."

"Well then, you can leave with a clear conscience," Lucky congratulated him.  "The patient's virtue is intact, and the property is protected.  Nothing else to concern yourself with here."

"Lucky..." Jason tried to say something to make them both feel better, but Lucky just disappeared under the covers.

"Better hurry, Jason.  Your family's waiting."

 

Front Porch

Jason took a deep breath as he stepped outside the house, the cold slowly cooling him down. His visit had been a disaster. More than anything else, he wanted to go back inside and bury himself in Lucky, fuck him all night long until they both forgot the past month of hell.

But what Jason wanted, he couldn't seem to get these days.

He looked up as the new guy approached. He wasn't much older than Lucky, but he had shaggy dark hair, and looked in need of a shave. Beneath all the denim, Jason could tell the kid had a lean, muscular build.

"You got a name?" Jason greeted him.

The young man pulled a cold fist out of his pocket. "Zander Smith," he offered in reply.

His attempt at a handshake was met with a visual appraisal instead - and nothing more. Zander finally shoved his hand back into the warmth of his faded jacket. "Sonny sent me," he said.

Jason knew he'd be hard pressed for security on Christmas Eve, but he was expecting more than this. The guard paced a trench in the snow with his sneakers as Jason observed him. "Did he tell you this was an outside job?"

Zander nodded with his whole body, trying to mask his shivering. "Uh, yeah, yeah, that's what he said."

Frowning, Jason wondered where Sonny came up with this kid. "You should have worn something warmer," he pointed out.

The guard shrugged ruefully, and then a quirky little smile spread over his trembling lips, giving him a boyish charm that Jason found rather appealing.

"Actually I don't have anything warmer," Zander confided good-naturedly. "That's why I'm here - to earn a little extra money on the holiday."

No one knew Lucky was here, and Jason wasn't holding Lucky hostage. The guard was here to report on the situation and keep Jason informed, that's all. Lucky was well enough to take care of himself. Which was a good thing, Jason decided, since Zander's abilities under fire probably didn't go much further than dialing 911.

"Will I do?" Zander joked, unsettled by all the scrutiny.

Jason finally nodded, relenting with a sigh. His hot breath came out in a white puff before trailing off in the crisp evening air. "Fine, but you won't get paid if you freeze to death on the doorstep," he advised.

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