Tickety Tock Pickety Pock 7 o'clock Oh Yeah! Another day, another day of work. Let's go! Ever feel like that? When you just leap out of bed and say Yeah! bring it on! I can handle anything you throw at me. It's the supercharged exuberance of something, maybe a felicitous combination of good digestion and deep sleep. Oh Yeah! Let's go baby. I'm rip running through the morning preps - pants, shirts, ties, socks - whoosh, whoosh, whoosh - it's a flurry of colour and flesh. I pack my little weaner safely away - it's a little sore after yesterday's fantastic feats - and I'm a up jump jumping in morning excitement. I'm happy, happy, happy. Oh Yeah! My bag's ready, everready, and I'm doing starjumps down the stairs. I'm a happy, happy, happy chappy. Oh Yeah! Oh Yeah! Oh Yeah! Oh Yeah! OH YEAH!!! Oh man, I shouldn't overdo it, I might blow a fuse or something. Let's get a drink of water and cool down. But the morning's already helping - it's a cool one; not cold, a little nip, though no bite. The dew glistens outside - a lovely refractive sparkle - and from all signs, it looks like it'll be a fine one. Oh Yeah! I check the clock - still plenty of time - time enough for a quick bash on the piano. I choose something simple, a Bach Invention, JS and No 1, and play it through. Oh! The beauty of composition! And the all delighting sound! The theme goes - Doh, Doh, Doh, d-dol, d-dol - where the first 3 notes are ascending tones from C, and the next 2 paired notes descending thirds from F. Such a simple, natural theme - easily recognised, and susceptible to all forms of treatment. Beauty itself! Boom, boom, boom - I, am, done. Time to go. Leaping and hopping, dancing and prancing, I make my merry way to the bus- stop. I was happy. Oh Yeah! I was on a high. Oh Yeah! The bus-stop. The usual one, two, three, now four, at the common time. I like the old lady, and the other two are related, so we can cut the commoners that way. I like a gin-and-tonic, the old one's dominant, the kid's certainly subdominant, and the aunt looks about median age. Tonic-dominant, tonic- dominant, I like the sound of that. So I talked music while waiting for the stop. The cadence came, somewhere between half and full, and I found myself a seat up the front. With all the businessy sorts, the squares, the jerks, it felt just like the city. Ah! blessed city, I dream of thee, come take me away! If not, I'll come to thee! I was settling down now, the mania reverting to madness. And once that passes, I'll be back to normal - Jeffrey Knight, the Knight's Knight, Knight of the Night! Ever wonder how I came by that name? It was a long time ago, when I was young, reading Spenser, the Fairie Queen. The feast of words triggered a catalytic coinage - my name! my name! - which is quite appropriate considering that Spencer is the Poet's Poet, Poet of the Poem! So Jeffrey Knight it is, a beknighted man, who all things can. Can do, can not, can a bean, make Baked Beans! Oh Yeah! Oh no! The mania's returning, what do I do now? I'm trapped, surrounded by a bunch of stiffs, with my spirits flowing and going. A smile, a wink, a wriggle, a giggle, to dissipate some of the vital stuff, but its not enough, I'm going to 'plode, die die road! I'm sitting next to a business sort, a woman sort, the sort of sort who likes a port when she gets to port. Dressed in black, a business black, from the top to the bottom, bottom, bottom. I give her my eye, she gives it back, but scratches it up, so I can't see right, wanna fight? give me a light! Around the wrong way, let me have my say! Oh no! the mania to madness, the loss of gladness, the dross of deadly dreams. Can you sense the decay? From joy to depression, I've become quite sad, I've been had. It was a false gaity, a fulsome mania, now I'm feeling sad, a sudden sad, I've been had. Fuck you God! Why do you play with my mind, you fuckin' prick! Piss off! You're a shithead! Fuck you! The bus pulls in, my mind in disarray, I don't know what to say. The day started off so swell, well, I should have known, known that ecstatic rampant happiness is just the cliff before the fall, the fall into the dark dog, the reversal of god, the opposite of what is good and right, and all things bright Am I manic-depressive? I don't know. I blame my blood sugar. Hey ho! Hey ho! I try to cheer myself up, but it doesn't work. Stop trying - you fucker! I buy a ticket, one today, and one tomorrow, then no more sorrow, I return the life I borrowed. Today, then tomorrow, and another, and another, and it's over my friend, it's over. No more. And I'll be glad. I hate life. I board the train, without my brain, or the better part, for that noble goodness has been lost. I'm standing, and there's someone with his walkman load, someone in the crowd. I find him out, and give him death looks, but he's a thick brick, what a prick. Someone brushes me by, and I'm offended, and feel like hitting them. Intolerance - no joy, and no hope of, one becomes vicious and resentful - each moment a hellish moment. I've been deceived - the maya's got me in her grips - I realise this, but there's nothing I can do. In a bear's way, she has me tight, my arms pinioned, my legs feeble. She sneaked up on me - no she didn't - maya shows her signs - but I ignored them - now she has me - I'm trapped. There's nothing I can do - the blank of despair. The trip takes an eternity - the carriages fall, I'm a ball - silently suffering, hidden hurts - prophetic words! It takes forever - tick, tick, tick - some reader participation, please. So many stop - idiots getting on and off - I cough. Cough. Cough, cough. Cough, cough, cough. Cough, cough, cough, cough. Cough, cough, cough, cough, cough. Cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough. Cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough. Cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough. Cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough. Cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough. Cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough. Cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough. Cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough. Cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough. Cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough. Cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough. Cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough. Cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, Cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough. etc, etc, I coughed my guts out. Oh man, I feel sick - can you hear me? My fellow passengers can, but they don't want to know - know that someone's dying. I cough up some blood - lucky I've got my 'chief - I'm feeling ill - deadly so. It was such a happy start to the day - rue that start - but look at me now - I'm a wreck. Is this a divine joke? I ask again - is this a divine joke? If there is a God, why is there suffering? Physical suffering is not maya - someone does not imagine they're in continual pain. Maya is a mental concept - physical suffering is not. Suffering, suffering, starvation, starvation, slavery, slavery, torture, torture, malnutrition, malnutrition, death, death. Is this a divine joke? Sure, we're here to prove our mettle, to have good triumph over evil - but do so many have to suffer in the process? Is this a divine joke? Is this a divine joke? I ask once again, is this a divine joke? I've spent my gall - the coughing ceases - I'm feeling better - I had you worried didn't I? About halfway through - the hero almost succumbing - an atavisitic Keats, though stuff your Yeats - he's a turd - hold my centre! I'm feeling better - the black's gone - replaced by grey - mood's pass - in this we must trust. My fierceness tones - the rest of the trip just stumbles along. Chug, chug - chug, chug - central station - hooray! We all get off and disperse, like so much chaff in the wind. I am melancholy I am a sorry lorry I'm so sorry. Forgive me. It's been a dreadful morning. Let's get to work. I trace the path that so many others have traced - the hardy ones that is. Instead of connecting to an inner circle line, I walk up to the CBD - an uphill walk, it keeps me fit. Others come, others go Where they whither, I don't care. Where? Where? Where? Where? Where has my happiness gone? Where? Where? Where? Where? Don't answer, I no longer care. Go dig yourself a grave Save yourself, save yourself. Die, die, die, die Die before you suffer life. Others come, others go Where they whither, I don't care. I don't care. My, my, we are melancholy. But it's almost the end. Almost the end. Indeed. In deed. Out deed. Out dead. Out head. In head. In bed. In bred. In bread. Not bread. Not fed. Not red. Not read. I read. You read. You read. That's what you're doing now. Me, I'm walking along, head bowed, utterly despondent. I didn't feel like going to work. But I would. I would because I should. I traced the path so many others have traced - through a park - a little park - some strips of green with a path between - room for Feng Shi or Tai Chi - room enough for I Ching - room for the many families of pigeons that herein dwell. I traced the path so many others have traced - Chinatown - not the heart, the verge - where af-filth and af-fluence mix and mix - and the people are of a hybrid sort - the tempest! the tempest! - a dirty walk - an unpleasant place. I traces the path so many others have traced - uphill! uphill! - an unplanned city - the streets unstraight - many await - the lanes and ways either one or two - I walk through. Nicer shops - I was here - the CBD. The CBD - what's to see? - nice shiny buildings - nice shiny people - such a pleasant façade! I make my way to my own office - the New Colonial - like the Holy Roman Empire - neither new nor colonial - and mingle with the crowds as we move along. Now we're here - the thumbprint to get in - retina scan will be next - and my workmates are already round - here's one. Colleague #12: Hey there Jeffrey! Jeffrey Knight: Oh, hey there. And another. Colleague #13: G'morning Knight. Jeffrey Knight: Morning. And another. Colleague #14: G'day Jeff. Great day isn't it? Hear you're working on the new project. I'm in too. Jeffrey Knight: Yeah. C #14: OK, I'll see you round. J K: Yeah. The little contacts that keep us human! It had been a long morning, but finally it was: Tickety Tock Pickety Pock 9 o'clock. Boom! email time. I log on. username: jk-tkk-kotn (Jeffrey Knight, the Knight's Knight, Knight of the Night). password: ggwfung (who would ever guess this?) And I'm in. Hardy har, hardy dar. Crap, crap, crap. Here we go - team meeting for the new project - at 11. And here's another - see team leader for chat before meeting. Well, I better go do that now. I go and say hi - hi! - and she says hi - hi! - and we talk shop for a little while. She has a look over the sketches I've made - she's satisfied - they'll be useful. I say bye - bye! - and she says bye - bye! - and I'm back at my desk. I'm feeling hungry, let's get something to eat. There's a little food-mally place just round the corner from my building - I go there. A cake and pastry shop. I ask for a sausage roll. I asked if it was hot. I got a sausage roll. Then I bought some OJ orange juice. I ate the sausage roll. I drank the orange juice. The OJ was OK. A burger place. I ordered a burger. I waited. I got a burger. I bought some Coca-Cola-Amatil Coca-Cola. I found a corner. I ate the burger and drank the coke. It was OK. I was still hungry. I went back to the pastry place. I asked for a muffin - this one? - no that one. I got a that one muffin. Then I bought some Lite-Ice Spiced Milk. I went to a different corner. I ate the muffin and drank the milk. It was OK. By now I had wasted the whole morning. It was: Tickety Tock Pickety Pock 11 o'clock. Team Meeting time! I raced back, thumbed in, and arrived in the conference room with a puff. Most were already seated, a couple still coming in. It was a big group for us - almost 10 - a third of the human capital at Database Management Systems. It was a big project. There was #4, and 7, 22 up the back, 13 next to me, 18 and 19 together as usual, 10 by himself. Plus the Team Leader and me. Seeing that everyone was here, our Fuhrer rose and spoke: Friends, Romans, Patricians of my right Followers on my left, and the centrists I greet you. You know our purpose For, the almighty gods, in their own ways Have already shown us our way, omened Foreshadowed, and preempted the stiff path That we must follow. You know our purpose I'll not teed you, but, rather, for good Of all, I stand here to warm, and cheer Any of your spirits meek. Be warned The path ahead, indeed, is difficult And arduous, and many, shaken by doubts May be tempted to turn their backs On this, our chosen enterprise. Be warned For them, there is nothing but death, ignoble And cowardly death. But for the others That strive, and stretch, for the mountain's peak The glory of the gods, I promise you Awaits. Be cheered, and tremble not When the lots are cast. Take your straw However short, and suck, and drink The nectar of immortality, glory Unending, and endless, and famous. Drink And be satisfied. The gods be with you. Yeah! I stood and cheered. We all did. The clapping continued for a good minute. That was magnificent - what a speech! Straight from the pages of Shakespeare or Milton. Yeah! Good on you Team Leader! The tasks handed out, we all returned to our desks, glowing with enthusiasm. Me, I finally had some specifics to work on - a high speed patch between the new mainframes and the old - there was some clever code to be written here. I got stuck into it. Tickety Tock Pickety Pock 1 o'clock Fortified by the morning's feastings, my mind and body were strong and able. I continued on. Tickety Tock Pickety Pock 3 o'clock. Wow! A monster effort, I was in the groove, things going smooth. But it's time for a break, let's go for a stroll. Out in the air, and breathing, I feel good. The morning's cloud has passed, the illusion's been pierced, the maya rejected. Was it the food or not? I walk around a bit, it's a nice afternoon. People moving about; talk, talk, talk; walk, walk, walk. It's the good life. I get to thinking about Eva. I haven't told you much about Eva, have I? How we loved! but didn't - both of us unsure. Don't make my mistake - speak, speak! Dead. Eva's dead. Dead Eva. I'll see you soon! I walk around a bit more, but I'm starting to feel hungry. I decide to drop into McRonalds. Me: I want a burger. McRonald's Person: Would you like fries with that? Me: No It gets me a burger, and I find myself a putrid green table, and I sit down. I open it up - umm - it smells. I eat it because I'm hungry. I fart and have a drink - umm - it smells. I get up and go, leaving a mountain of napkins behind me. Back on the streets of Sydney - I'm smiling. With a gutful of trash, and a pocketful of cash, who wouldn't be? I do a little jig, and spot a bookstore. Oh Yeah! It's a big joint - two stories with an adjoining stationary section. Plus a café for the coffee and a basement for the base - that is, for children, subculture, and music. Oh Yeah! I'm goin' again! Oy! Calm down! You know where that path leads. Becalmed, I enter the heavenly bookstore, and have a look round. New books section. Ha ha. Ar A. This looks interesting. "Books - A Survey of Knowledge." "A book about books." "A guide to the best reading currently in print." Wow! this is something I wish I could have written. "Treat yourself to a superb all round education." Admirable. "By GGW Fung." Never heard of him. Sounds like someone to keep an eye on. I buy it, and exit through the stationery section. Something catches my eye. It's a pen, though no ordinary pen, it's the Prince of Pens - the Staedler Deluxe Super Duper. "Mined in Siberia, moulded in Sweden, manufactured in Germany, writing for your desk." That's jazzy. "Uranium-Carbide tip, Neodymium-Terbic barrel, Chromium-Oxide finish, Holmium-Halide buttons." Wow! I ask for a test drive. Nice, very nice. Wonderful weight, carefully balanced, with an effortless roll. Black black ink. Nice. The Prince of Pens - the Staedler Deluxe Super Duper. I ask how much, it says on special, I ask how much, it says $400 off, I ask how much, it says a bargain you can't refuse, I ask how much, it says buy now or be forever lost, I ask how much, it says I've got a wife and kids to feed, I ask how much, it says last one in the country, I ask how much, it says $1200. I laugh loud, and fork out the 100 dollar bills. I give him a $100 tip for trying so hard, and grin all the way back to the office. I'm insane. Tickety Tock Pickety Pock 4 o'clock Hey, I've got some work to do. Leave me alone would ya? Tickety Tock Pickety Pock 5 o'clock. Home time. I say goodbye to #20, 21, and 22. Drop some stuff off on the Team Leader's desk, and I'm ready to go. A quick stroll to the train station, a short wait, and I'm on board with the other sardines. I manage to find a single seat, and all tucked in, I have a little rest. I snooze the whole way - it's been a stressful day - and before I know it, I'm where I'm supposed to be. I get out and change from one box to another - from train to bus - and soon we're on our way again - hooray! I've rested - and need no more - so I quietly observe the way home. Looking out, I see some lights - some artificial, some not - but it's nature which catches my eye. Hello Venus! Hello Mars! Somewhere out there with high albedo ratings. I salute your planetary duties - that is love, that is war - two great themes in human history. Hello! Hello! Venus, or Aphrodite, the goddess of love. The erotic, the sensual, but never the platonic, this is what unites those faraway species - man and woman. Love is a theme that haunts us from birth to belated death. Embrace love, and she'll embrace you. Mars, or Ares, the harbinger of war. If love unites, then war divides. Yet this antagonistic element is not all destructive. It sharpens are resolve, hones our skills, and thrusts us forward into the wider world. War calls into effect our deeper assets. Hail Venus! Hail Mars! I salute you with bended knee. The bus rolls on. And the Moon - the moon's out now - hail the Moon! - the waxing and waning tells us about the cycles of life. But this at night - the slow, the cumulative, the unseen - this is change by a subtle means. Be careful then, of the moon's passive influence. The Sun! The Sun! The sinking Sun! Hail the Sun! The giver of life, the sun strides the world with one look. Direct and honest, here is an active quality to counterpart the Moon's passive. Hail the Sun! The Sun and the Moon, hail! I salute you with bended elbow. Hail! So love and war, active and passive - what else can the heavens teach us? That quick-footed messenger - mercurial Mercury - has all the pertubability of youth. Changeable, excitable, unpredictable - this is a young man's nature. Quick to come, and quick to go. Contrast this with Saturn, the old man of the skies. Sitting with his bearded rings, spinning slowly round - this is dispassion, acceptance, and understanding on display. Father Time has seen it all. Youth and old age - the two extremes of human life. Hail Mercury! Hail Saturn! I salute you with bended neck. Overt and covert - different ways of wielding power - this forms the next pair. Jupiter, by his sheer size, dominates with a kingly presence. But he is a benevolent master, showing how far integrity, virtue, and honesty can take you. Jupiter personifies open-handed power. Pluto, the dark lord, wanders far out. But his underhanded ways can teach us still - obsession can be moderated to keen interest - vindictiveness mollified to even justice - and secrecy flowered into complete trust - this is what Pluto has to say. Hail Pluto! Hail Jupiter! Hail Pluto! I salute you with bended wrists. This second four - youth and old age, overt versus covert power - this is another quartet of driving themes. I would go on - Uranus and Neptune, the crazy and the mystic - have much to say, but their pairing partners are in a distrought state. One has been blown up - the so-called Asteroid Belt represents the remains of a planet (as given by Bode's Law) - and the other is still undiscovered, lying beyond Pluto somewhere. This last quartet will be finished one day, and when man absorbs its lessons, we will take a grand evolutionary step forwards, no longer at the whim of the skies. This one day. But for now - Hail! Hail! Hail! My gaze comes back to earth, and I see its time to alight. Hail! Hail! Hail! I walk home. Hail! Hail! Hail! I have shower and a lie down (7pm) Hail! Hail! Hail! Some dinner and some news (730pm) Hail! Hail! Hail! I study a bit of music theory - 20C composition (8pm) Hail! Hail! Hail! Then I read some history - world, Elizabethan, and Greek (9pm) Hail! Hail! Hail! Then I write a letter - to my mum (10pm) Hail! Hail! Hail! Then I patter around for a while - on my hands and knees (1030pm) Hail! Hail! Hail! And before you know it, it's Tickety Tock Pickety Pock 11 o'clock Time for some reflection on the day's events. I lie down in bed and contemplate. It's peaceful. Time petering out - there's an end to all things. I rest quietly. Tickety Tock Pickety Pock 12 o'clock Here we go again - The pound of a plate, the girl of a gate, the footsteps of fate - doo! dol! doo! dol! - the whistle of a pipe, the scream of a wife, the slash of a knife - whoosh! These were the sounds of Death - after late night shopping - his trolley full of strange new things. A rainbow arced around and curled, this disco out of radiating my room with all sorts of dancing colours. It arced all the way round, this circle of light, with the centre black. And from this big hole came a big turd, a fat turd with the frown of fate. It might have been Mr Christmas Poo, but it wasn't, this was the Shit of Death, and it swelled and it smelled. Ugh! The rainbow froze, the colours muted, and I could see without the squeal of squint. It was a big shit - a massive lump of turd - in 4 or 5 gutwrenching chunks, a monumental toilet splasher. It had dried up bits on the side - they would have hurt - but on the whole, it had a moist, noxious quality - fresh excrement. Someone's fingers had squished in the eyes and the nose, and sloshed out that unhappy frown. I feel sorry for that someone from beyond. The Shit of Death hovered up to my face - oh man! I'm going to puke! - and squared me in the eyes. It had very bad breath. "Good Midnight, Mr Knight. I await you question." I had my cynical question ready. "Is the universe some kind of divine joke?" And Death, Smelly Death, Death anwered. "What to you, and others, Mr Knight, may seem as wanton, even cruel suffering, is not intentional. The universe was established with certain laws, certain consequences for certain actions. These may not be circumvened, not even by the High Maker, for how just would a god be who broke his own laws?" "What you witness now, and what others have described as miracles, these do not contravene natural law. They are only wonders because their workings are not understood. Just as a lump of silicon is just another rock to a savage, yet for you is the basis of technology, the raw material for almost conscious computers, so too is your undersanding and manipulation of universal laws still primitive and shallow." "There is suffering; that is not denied; but with free will comes the power to do both good and evil. When good men, like you, see or hear of suffering, then you are quite rightly stirred to indignation. The institution of slavery was abolished by such indignation; collected and directed that is." "You, who are more sensitive, feel the indignation more, because you feel the present trampling of future rights. Commiserate, but do not despair; your avantgarde will blaze a path for the rest." "It is not a divine joke, but a divine unfolding.. God guard." And with that, the shit went back up the ass, there was a smelly fart, and the whole thing was excreted back to the place it had come from. Good riddance! I only got time to whiff a bit, then I passed out, my nostrils afire. Sleep, blessed sleep.