Saturday
Night Rumble
Saturday, March 17th, 2001
Rose Garden in Portland, Oregon
Last Week... appears on the screen. The Butcher is shown announcing himself as the new Commissioner of the GFWA. Then as he leaves, the man everyone thought had left, Chaos, walks out. He rants about a conspiracy, when Max Danger gives him an offer. His pinkslip or Jostrodomus in a World Title Loser Leaves GFWA Match. Chaos accepts the match, and Jostrodomus runs out. But before they can come to blows, Danger announces Dexter as the Special Guest Referee for the match, and all the matches the rest of the night. We get highlights of the match, with Jostrodomus finally pulling out the victory to retain his championship, and rid the GFWA of Chaos. A staredown from Jostrodomus and Dexter take us out.
We then go to the main event, where Dexter and Jostrodomus are going one on one in a Non-Title match. The match is going back and forth, when the OWA World Champion, Kan walks out. He rants about being the "real" World Champion, when both men knock him off the apron. Dexter gets a quick advantage here, but can't win, even with himself counting the pinfall. Max Danger then hits Dexter with the Trifecta, but Joz isn't able to capitalize. But after the #1 Stunna, Joz uses Dexter's own hand to count the pinfall. Joz celebrates, but not for long as Kan comes in to beat him down, as Danger gets all in Dexter's face. We fade out.
The Saturday Rumble opening video starts up. It lasts for several more seconds, before we fade into the Rose Garden, where fireworks shoot out in every direction. The ring lights up with all the pyro going off. All up and down the aisle fireworks shoot into the air. When the lights come back on, the entire arena is filled with smoke. But that doesn't stop the thousands of fans from standing on their feet and screaming at the top of their lungs. The cameras start to pan the crowd showing such signs as, "Death Matches=Ratings", "Kan is the "real" Champion... of his dreams!", and "Tag Teams Rule!". The cameras then shift to showing the four slabs of glass laying across saw horses around the ring. Then the ole so familiar voices of our announcing heroes are heard.
Randy Boggs: Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Rose Garden in Portland, Oregon for another big night of action on Saturday Night Rumble!!! We are just one week away from The Danger Zone Pay Per View, and tonight is going to be just like a PPV event!! Hi, I'm Randy Boggs and I enjoy long walks on the beach, and watching movies, but that's not what I'm hear to talk about, because good ole King Royce is with me!
King Royce: Oh how great it is to be in Portland, Oregon! I am King Royce, and while Randy may like walks on the beach and movies, I LOVE SEX!! Screw all that relationship nonsense, just give me that ass, and I'll be one happy camper!
Randy Boggs: King!
King Royce: You know you feel the same way deep down inside of you, Randy. Just let it out!
Randy Boggs: No, I won't! That's just.... just...
King Royce: Just not the coolest, that's just not the baddest, that's JUSTIN CREDIBLE!!!
Randy Boggs: Don't mention wrestlers of the competition!!
King Royce: It's too late, so why stop now? The Rock, Steve Austin, Kurt Angle, Chris Benoit... are all on a different network on a different day! So let's check out some highlights from their past shows!!!!
Randy Boggs: NOOOOOO!! King, you're going to get fired, now shut up!
King Royce: No, I won't, because if I keep mentioning these other names, people will think they're going to be here, and tune in!!
Randy Boggs: That's a load of bull, and you know it!
King Royce: Perhaps, but our dumbwitted fans wouldn't be able to tell total BS from complete genius!
Randy Boggs: That's good, insult the intelligence of our fans.
King Royce: We do it every week with the shit we show here!
Randy Boggs: What's your problem, King?
King Royce: I have herpes, and I'm lashing out at everyone! Now let's get on with this show!
Randy Boggs: Well, I'm sorry to hear that. Do you know from who?
King Royce: From your mom!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
Randy Boggs: You problem were acting like an ass, just so you could say that, weren't you?
King Royce: Yep, but wasn't I convincing?
Randy Boggs: If I had an Oscar vote, I wouldn't waste it on you, so take that for what you will.
King Royce: I'll take it as the other voters would vote for me because you are what we like to call a dumbass.
Randy Boggs: Whatever, we've got a show to do, King. Tonight, we have EIGHT, yes EIGHT, big matches lined up for you great fans tonight!
King Royce: And those glass slabs you see around the ring aren't for looks, they are for some massive pain! Because in our first match, Syn and "The Freak" Chris Hanover will be competing in the First Round of the Death Match Tournament for the Extreme Title. The winner here, will face Sean Jones in two weeks on Rumble. Here's how the bracket looks.
Misfit_________
Bye__________
Ricky
Hunter___
Star Struck____
Syn__________
Chris Hanover__
Sean
Jones____
Bye__________
Randy Boggs: Each match will be something unique and very dangerous. Next week we'll get Ricky Hunter and Star Struck, then the two semifinals the week after that. But right now, it's time for Syn and Chris Hanover to show us how extreme they can be!
CHRIS
HANOVER vs. SYN
Glass Death Match
"Lollipop Porn" by Crazytown kicks up as Chris Hanover steps through the curtains. He gets a very small reaction, some boos, some cheers. Chris starts towards the ring.
Randy Boggs: This is Chris' GFWA debut, and it's not going to be a pleasant one.
King Royce: Oh, this is going to be bloody.
Chris slides into the ring, as "Lollipop Porn" fades out, and "God of the Mind" by Disturbed hits. Out walks the OWA Danger Champion, Syn. He gets a pretty decent amount of boos as he starts down the aisle.
Randy Boggs: Syn was/is the OWA's Danger Champion, and just got a big win over Kan last week on Rumble.
King Royce: The Danger Championship, wasn't anything hardcore or extreme, as many people think. It was the feds second most prestigous title, and was named the Danger Title, after the Owner, Max Danger. Misfit had won said gold and renamed it that to get back at Danger. Dunno how he thought it would, but it happened nevertheless.
Syn stops at the first slab of glass and looks down at it. He takes a deep breath, while looking down. When he looks up, he's nailed by Chris Hanover, who had come off the top rope with a cross body block! Chris picks Syn up for a suplex through the glass, but Syn blocks. Syn reverses and suplexes Chris on the ramp! Syn picks up Chris, and sets up for a powerbomb. Chris punches away at Syn's head to get free! Chris takes Syn down by his legs, and slingshots him over the glass and into the ring apron! Chris walks around the slab of glass, and whips Syn into the ring steps. Syn stumbles back away from the steps, and Chris wraps him up about the waste. He tries to German suplex Syn, but Syn blocks, and gets a standing switch. Chris blocks his suplex attempt, then elbows free. Syn backs up against the slab of glass, and Chris charges. He slides between Syn's legs, and goes under the slab of glass. He lifts up the glass and smacks Syn in the face! Chris lays the glass back into position, and sets Syn up for a Tiger bomb! Syn flips Chris over, but Chris hangs onto Syn's legs and rolls him over. Chris then powers Syn up and powerbombs him on the floor!! Chris picks up Syn and goes for a powerslam through the glass! Syn wiggles out, then charges at Chris when he turns around! Chris with a back body drop on Syn! He narrowly misses going through the glass!
Randy Boggs: Both of these men are really going at it to try and put the other through the table, so they can start going for pins and submissions!
King Royce: Yeah, a lot of reverses and counters so far. This is really fun to watch so far.
Syn is slow to his feet, as Chris climbs onto the apron. Syn is to his feet, and turns around. Asai moonsault by Chris!!! Syn catches him, and stumbles back. He gains his balance, and hooks Chris in Tombstone position. Syn climbs onto the slab of glass, and prepares to tombstone Chris through the glass. Chris however starts to kick and reverses! Chris has Syn in position for the tombstone! Syn reverses, but has nothing under him, and both men fall to the concrete floor. Chris is the first to his feet, and Syn comes to his. Syn's right is blocked, and gets hit with a right from Chris. And again. One last big swing from Syn is caught, and Chris gets Syn in a full nelson! Chris goes for the Full nelson slam[ala Test], but Syn counters with an armdrag. Chris rolls under the glass and to the other side. Syn jumps onto the apron, and then into the ring. He runs to the ropes, as Chris runs and jumps onto the apron. Syn jumps over Chris, and kinda spins, where they are back to back as Syn goes through the air. Chris locks Syn's arms as he goes by, and has Syn in Vertabreaker position!!!! Chris sends Syn through the glass with a Vertabreaker off the apron!!!!! Holy Shit chant breaks out!
Randy Boggs: Oh my god!!! Chris Hanover gave Syn a Vertabreaker off the apron on through the slab of glass!!!!
King Royce: Amazing! Now both men can go for pinfalls and submissions, although I doubt Syn will be for awhile.
Chris gets up holding his ass, but quickly shakes off that minor pain, as he grabs Syn by the back of the head. Chris quickly drops him and looks at his hand. Chris has blood all over his hand, that came from the back of Syn's head and neck. Chris picks Syn back up and rolls him into the ring. Chris slowly climbs back into the ring, and gets a lateral press on Syn. 1..... 2..... thre.... kick out!!!!! Chris can't believe it, and this crowd is in shock! Chris picks up Syn, and puts his head between his legs before backing into the corner. Chris lifts Syn up in powerbomb position and starts to run across the ring. He's going for the Running Liger Bomb, but Syn reverses with a hurricanranna rollup!!! 1... 2.... kick out!!!! Chris reverses the rollup and lifts Syn back up. Running Liger Bomb by Chris!!!!! 1....... 2...... thre.... foot on the bottom rope!! Chris still can't believe it! Chris lifts Syn onto the top turnbuckle, and points to the second slab of glass on the outside, and the crowd goes nuts! Chris gets on the apron, and climbs up top. He tries the superplex, but Syn blocks. He tries again, but Syn stops him. Chris tries a third time, but Syn blocks again, and then leaps forward with Chris! Top Rope DDT through the glass by Syn!!!!!!!!! Holy Shit chant again!!!!
Randy Boggs: Sweet Jesus with extra holy water, King!!!! Syn just put Chris Hanover through the second slab of glass with a Top Rope DDT!!!
King Royce: That's just nasty! Look at Syn's back, though, it's covered with cuts and blood.
Randy Boggs: Chris Hanover's entire face is bloodied, too, with good reason.
Both men stay down for awhile, until Syn pulls himself up with the aid of the guardrail. He stumbles around a bit before grabbing Chris. Syn picks up a long, sharp piece of glass and starts to dig it into Chris' forehead!! Syn tosses that down, and whips Chris into the steel steps. Chris goes flying over them and into the time keeper's table! Syn gets his arms full of glass and carries them over to the third slab of glass. Syn spreads the loose, and sharp, pieces of glass over the big slab. Syn picks up Chris and slams him into the ring post! Syn grabs a chair and whacks Chris with it! Chris falls to the ground, so Syn whacks him again! Syn picks up Chris and sets him on the slab of glass. Syn climbs up with him, and lifts Chris up. Syn with a brainbuster on Chris through the glass!!!!!!! SHIT! The glass doesn't break, just cracks! Syn rolls off, and climbs onto the apron. He goes to climb the turnbuckles, but slips with all the blood on his hands. He regains his composure and climbs up. Synton[senton bomb] by Syn off the top rope!!! Chris moves!!!! Syn goes crashing through all the glass!!!!!!! Holy Shit chant breaks out!!!!! Both men are down!!
Randy Boggs: Holy mother of god!!! Syn's dead!!!!
King Royce: That was... AWESOME!!!! Syn thought he had Chris, but he moved at the last second, and Syn just went through that glass! Just AWESOME!
Chris rolls around until he gets to the ring apron, and pulls himself up. He stumbles around while looking at Syn through a thick crimson mask. Chris stumbles over and grabs Syn. He rolls him into the ring, then follows after him. Chris then slides back out and grabs two of the saw horses. He sets them up near the corner, then grabs the finally slab of glass. He lays it across the saw horses, and grabs Syn. Chris sets Syn up in The Freak Drop[Facefirst Crucifix Bomb]!! Syn slips out, as Chris has to jump over the slab of glass. He gets up in the corner, but is nailed with the Poetry in Motion by Syn, who leaped off the glass!!! Syn lifts Chris up onto the top turnbuckle, and joins him. Syn sets Chris up for the Blood Syn[diving reverse ddt] off the top rope!!! Chris blocks it, and bridges forward. He grabs Syn's arms and lifts him up over his head. Chris with the Freak Drop off the top rope and through the slab of glass!!! Holy Fuckin' Shit!!!! ONE...... TWO...... THREE!!!!! Chris Hanover wins!!!
Randy Boggs: SHIIIIIIT!!!! Chris Hanover wins this with a Freak Drop off the top rope and through the final slab of glass!!!!
King Royce: Killer shit, man!! This was awesome!!! There's blood everywhere!!!
Chris gets to his feet and stumbles around in celebration as "Lollipop Porn" plays, and the fans are cheering for him, except the few Syn fans. Chris celebrates some more as medics run into check on Syn, who's covered ALL OVER with blood, some not even his own... uh oh! Chris slides out of the ring, and starts towards the back.
Randy Boggs: That was one hell of an opening match. I don't think it can get much bloodier than that, King!
King Royce: Oh, we'll find out though, because there's at least three more extreme matches ahead.
Randy Boggs: The medics are helping Syn to the back, who does not look in good shape. He put up a hell of a fight though.
As the medics do help Syn to the back, the cameras cut somewhere else backstage where we find the GFWA Commissioner The Butcher dressed in a fitted green leprechaun suit, hat and all. He's pacing back and forth and then stops, taps his right foot and begins to pace once again. A GFWA employee walks up to The Butcher and jumps back in surprise because of The Butcher's get-up.
Employee: Um, Mr. Commissioner, your surprise is going to be a little late. I just received a call from the company and they said that there was this awful back-up on the expressway.
The Butcher: Naturally, anything that I try to do ends up getting screwed up. Will they be here by the end of the show?
Employee: Yes.
The Butcher: *rubs his hands together* Excellent.
The scene fades back to King Royce and Randy Boggs. They both have a confused look on their face.
Boggs: I wonder what the Commissioner has planned, King.
Royce: I want to know where he got that suit. Yuk!
Randy Boggs: Probably the same place where you buy your stuff.... the flea market! HAHAHAHA!!
King Royce: Uh, was that supposed to be a joke, insult.. what?
Randy Boggs: I don't really know.
King Royce: Figures.
The cameras cut backstage again, where Erika is shown looking back into her locker room.
Erika: Ok, honey, but I'll be right back. I have to use the restroom.
As she's talking, we see Misfit standing behind the coke machine just outside the door. Misfit then gets and evil smile on his face and walks away. Erika then shuts the door to her and Kan's locker room. She starts down the hall. We cut to the women's restroom, where Misfit stops. He looks around, then sneaks inside. The camera pulls back to show Sean Jones looking on from behind a curtain. Sean Jones smiles, as the cameras return to the arena.
Randy Boggs: Something is about to go down, and it involves Misfit, Sean Jones, and Erika. And it's not what you think, King!
King Royce: Oh come on, give me a little more credit than that. I know it's nothing sexual, although that would be cool. It's just Misfit not being able to get to Kan last week, and sees Erika as being vulnerable, and can get her, drawing Kan out, so he can attack him.
Randy Boggs: And what about Sean Jones?
King Royce: Well, he and Misfit kinda had a wild brawl in the parking lot last week, so I guess he just wants to rekindle it.
Randy Boggs: Nice going, King.
King Royce: But deep down, I think it's going to be a two on one sex romp!! Yeah!
Randy Boggs: I apologize for that folks. You're sick, ya know that?
As King and Randy continue to talk, the cameras fade backstage to the parking garage where Chris Hunter is arriving at the Arena. He parks his car and gets out of his car. He goes to the trunk and gets his bag and his TV Title. Hunter shuts the trunk and begins to walk across the parking lot. All of a sudden Headlights turn on. Hunter stops and squints to see what's happening. The car's tires squeel and it starts at Hunter. Hunter jets toward the building. He dives and narrowly misses getting hit by the car. He gets up.
Hunter: F##kers!
Hunter looks at the car it is Bronx's Pagani. He gives the bird to the driver, the car turns around. Hunter jets into the building. He slams the door. He gives a sigh. He starts to walk toward the locker rooms. The door to the arena opens and Tiu comes walking in. Hunter sees this and starts to book it. Tiu goes after him. He gets to the hallway, first door way he comes to he jumps in. The lights are out. He turns on the light to see a vehement Woden sitting on the oppostie side of the room. Woden gets up. Hunter takes a step forward.
Woden: I belive you have something that belongs to us. I suggest you hand it over... NOW!
Hunter: F##k you old man.
Woden: I warned you.
Hunter takes a few more steps toward Woden. Woden takes a Singapore cane from behind the chair and with one swing nails an approaching Hunter over the head. Hunter falls to the ground. He still isn't completely Unconscious. Woden goes to take his title. He pulls it away.
Woden: Punk, you just don't learn.
Woden takes a swing on the hand holding the belt. Hunter's knuckles start to bleed. He reaches down and goes for the belt again Hunter won't let go. He whacks his knuckles tiwce more before Hunter loosens his grip.
Woden: This is OURS! B###H! You want it back, then you'll have to fight Bronx... in a Dogg Pownd match! For the title of course! I don't believe you know me! I'm Woden I'm the rotten son-of-a-b###h that is taking your belt! You think Bronx is mean, you haven't seen S##T! You keep f##king with Bronx, I'm gonna break your knuckles! SO I suggest you wisen up! If you want an explanation of a Dogg Pownd Match Ask Bronx! Til then, Later twinkle Toes!
Woden walks out of the room. He walks toward Tiu who is standing nonchalantly at the door or the arena. He hands Tiu the belt.
Woden: Give this to Thor, tell him to take it back to the Hotel, DON'T let it leave the apartment! Then you come to Bronx's room, we'll discuss tonights festivities!
Tiu grabs the belt and walks out of the arena. We fade back to the announcers.
King Royce: But you've got to understand, I was a deprived child. I never got anything I wanted... and my drunk uncle made me suck his.... oh we're back!
Randy Boggs: Haha, you suck!
King Royce: Fuck you! I find it sickening that you laugh at my rough childhood!
Randy Boggs: King, you were born into a rich family, did nothing your whole life until you started here at the GFWA, so quit your whining!
King Royce: Oh yeah, I guess I was thinking of your poverty starved, living in boxes childhood!!!
Randy Boggs: I hate you.
As they continue to argue, like usual, the cameras switch backstage where Erika walks up to the women's restroom. She's about to enter when she's stopped by Sean Jones. Jones tells her something as the camera fades into the restroom. Fake legs and shoes have been put into each stall by Misfit to make Erika think all the stalls are full. Misfit, himself, is propped up on a toilet in the only "empty" stall. Suddenly the door comes open, and you can hear the sound of high heels across the tile floor, as Misfit begins to smile. The sounds stops in front of Misfit's stall, and the door comes open, Misfit jumps forward, but no one's there. He looks around confused, when all of a sudden the door slams Misfit in the face! Misfit stumbles back as Sean Jones walks into view.
Sean Jones: I bet you were looking for Erika, eh? Well I'm not her, but I will kick your ass anyway!
He kicks his high heels off, and walks into the stall. He slams Misfit up against the stall wall, then into the toilet. He tries to push Misfit's head into the toilet, but Misfit elbows him in the jaw. Jones stumbles out of the stall, as Misfit gets to his feet. He swings at Jones, who ducks, and slams Misfit's head into the sink! Misfit isn't down long, as Jones picks him up, and whips him towards the wall. Misfit reverses and slams Jones up against the wall. Misfit rams Jones' head into the hand dryer, turning it on. Misfit then slams Jones through another stall door, and there's an actual woman in there! Jones falls to the ground, as Misfit walks in. He is drop toe holded by Jones, and Misfit's head goes right between the woman's!! Jones then grabs the woman's mirror that was in her hand and breaks it over Misfit's head! With the woman still sitting down, Jones pushes Misfit's head further into the toilet and flushes! Misfit escapes with a low blow!!
Randy Boggs: They are brawling all over the women's restroom!
King Royce: That woman was pissing as Misfit's head was between her legs!!!
Misfit gets his head out of the toilet, then looks at the woman.
Misfit: Ever tried cologne or perfume to get rid of that awful smell?
The woman gasps in shock, then slaps Misfit. Misfit grabs Jones, who's hunched over, and puts his head between the woman's legs, and starts to flush!!! Misfit pulls him out, and slams him into the wall. Misfit rips off a mirror on the wall, and breaks it over Jones' head!! Misfit then grabs one of Jones' high heels, and starts to dig at his eyes with the heel!! Misfit tosses it aside, and slams Jones into the garbage can! Jones gets up and starts to nail Misfit with punches. He backs Misfit up against a stall wall, then charges at him. Misfit grabs Jones and tosses him through the stall wall, and he slams into the toilet!!! Jones is out. Misfit walks over to the sink casually, and cleans up, before walking out as if nothing happened. The camera returns to the arena.
Randy Boggs: Man, that was weird!
King Royce: Did I ever tell ya, that I love Misfit?
Randy Boggs: Nope.
King Royce: Good, because I don't, but I do like his ability to kick ass!
Randy Boggs: Speaking of ass kicking, it's time for our next matchup, that will be Extreme rules.
THE
GOLD DIGGERZ vs. THE PHERE BROTHERS
Extreme Rules Tag Team Match
"Nothing Left" by ICP hits, as The Phere Brothers walk out. Chris and Kyle head towards the ring after receiving a mildly good response from the crowd.
Randy Boggs: This should be an all out brawl, as both teams feel cheated after last week's match ended in a double DQ.
King Royce: Aren't Chris and Kyle just so cute? I hate it!
Chris and Kyle slide into the ring as "Nothing Left" fade out. "Rollin'" by Limp Bizkit starts up as Ice and Frostie make their way out. The boos they get are pretty loud. They get halfway down the ramp, when the Phere Brothers stop 'em. All four men start to duke it out. Ice and Kyle trade blows, but Ice comes out on top, after a big headbutt. Frostie connects with an european uppercut on Chris, then slams him into the guardrail! Ice picks up Kyle and drops him across the guardrail! Ice whips Kyle into the steel steps. Ice picks up the steps, and rams them into Kyle's head!! Frostie whips Chris to the guardrail again, but he jumps onto the railing, and comes off with a moonsault. Frostie dropkicks him in midair!
Randy Boggs: What a move by Frostie!
King Royce: Very nice move!
Ice picks up Kyle, and rams him into the ring post. Kyle falls up against the guardrail, as Ice picks up the steps again. He tosses them at Kyle, who moves out of the way at the last second! Kyle is taken back down with a big boot however! Ice picks up Kyle and just tosses him into the ring over the top rope! Ice grabs the steps and tosses them into the ring. He mows over Kyle with the steps! Ice climbs to the middle turnbuckle with the steps, and jumps off, slamming the steps into Kyle's face! Ice picks up Kyle in a gorilla press, then tosses him over the top rope and to the floor! Ice goes up top and the big man nails a flying clothesline on Kyle!!!!
Randy Boggs: The seven-footer can fly!
King Royce: He sure can, Randy.
The cameras cut backstage where Bronx is seen walking up to his locker room. Someone whistles behind him. It's Colin Baird! Colin bashes him in the head with a lead pipe, causing Bronx to fall against his door. Colin warns Bronx about their match tonight, when the door starts to open. Colin runs off, as the True Godds open the door and look around for whomever did this to Bronx. We return to the arena and the match.
Randy Boggs: Colin Baird just attacked Bronx with a lead pipe!
King Royce: I saw that, now let's get back to this match.
Frostie rolls Chris into the ring, and whips him to the ropes. Frankensteiner by Frostie! Frostie whips Chris into the corner, and sets the steps up. Frostie runs at Chris and leaps off the steps and nails Chris with a dropkick to the face!! Frostie lays the steps on top of Chris, and climbs up top. Frostie with a shooting star press onto the steps!!! Both men are hurt!! Frostie quickly pushes aside the pain and picks Chris up. Snap suplex on the steps! Frostie picks Chris up and stands him on the steps. Frostie kicks Chris in the stomach and climbs up top. Fameasser from Frostie on Chris on the steps!!! Frostie picks up Chris and suplexes him up and out of the ring. Frostie goes to the ropes, and nails a top con hilo on Chris!!!
Randy Boggs: The Gold Diggerz are just dominating the Phere Brothers here.
King Royce: They sure are!
Frostie picks up Chris and hits a brainbuster on the floor. Flowing Brainbuster DDT from Ice to Kyle! Frostie and Ice throw the brothers into the ring. Ice with the MeltDown on Kyle[reverse DVD], and Frostie nails Chris with the Frost Flake[moonsault into DDT]!!!! Frostie goes to the ropes again as Chris gets to his feet. Springboard moonsault into a REVERSE DDT by Frostie!! That's the Frost Bite!! Ice nails the Ice Breaker on Kyle!! They both cover!!! 1.... 2..... 3!!! The Gold Diggerz completely dismantle the Phere Brothers!!! "Rollin'" hits as The Gold Diggerz celebrate.
Randy Boggs: What a win by the Gold Diggerz, King!
King Royce: Very impressive!
The Gold Diggerz start towards the back, when Jolly Potter and Neophytou jump them from behind, and bash them over the heads with steel chairs!!! They beat them down with the chairs, before walking away.
Randy Boggs: Potter and Neo just attacked the Gold Diggerz!
King Royce: Bloody English!
The cameras fade backstage. Woden is seen walking down the hall with Tiu and Tino behind him. Tino is carrying a mutli-colored stick. Woden is carrying his Singapore Cane, and Tiu is empty handed. They get to a locker with Colin Baird on it. Tiu busts open the door. Colin is jumps up. He looks at Tiu, then Woden, and Tino file in beside the mamouth man.
Woden: You wanna attack people... now your f##ked!
Baird takes a run at Woden trying to take out atleast on of the men. Tiu steps in his way and knocks Colin over when Colin runs into him. Colin looks at Tiu in fright.
Woden: NEVER mess with True Godds! You like to interupt matches and jump people! You better be watching your back from now on!
Woden feints a swing Colin backs up a few steps. Tiu starts forward Colin starts to go to the left. He doesn't see Tino coming up on that same wall. One swing and Tino cracks his stick in half over Colin's head. Colin falls to the ground. Tiu, Woden, and Vito begin to stomp and hit Colin. When the three back off Colin has blood coming out of his nose.
Woden: Tiu, pick him up.
Tiu picks Colin up and slams him against the brick wall. Tino backs off to the background. Tiu steps aside holding Colin by one hand. Woden shoves his cane into Colin's throat and picks his head up with it. Colin opens an eye barely conscious.
Woden: You probably don't know me, and I assure you, you don't want to! But through your unfortunate circumstances you get to meet the bad side of me! I'm going to warn you now. You get in Bronx's Match again, you attack him from behind again, then you will belong to me, and my cane! I will give you a whippin' like you've never recieved. You ever try and take out any of True Godds, you will belong to me! I'm warning you now, you better hit the bricks before you get some bones broken! You keep up sticking your nose in Godds' business, then I'm gonna break your nose, and make you regret you got involved, so BUT OUT! Oh, Good luck in your match, B###H! Let's go.
Woden sticks the but of his cane into Colin's ribs. Tiu gives him an extra slam against the wall and drops him. Colin falls like a ton of bricks to the floor. Woden, Tino, and Tiu leave the room.
Randy Boggs: The True Godds Inc. attack again! This time on Colin Baird.
King Royce: That's what he gets.
Randy Boggs: Maybe so, but what we get now are some commercials! Don't go away folks, we'll be right back with more exciting GFWA action!
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Randy Boggs: Welcome back folks.
King Royce: Man, my crotch inches!
Randy Boggs: Wha?
King Royce: My crotch itches!
Randy Boggs: Uh ok. And why exactly did you tell everyone that?
King Royce: Because..... I dunno, I just did.
Randy Boggs: Right... Stop that!
King Royce: *scratching his crotch* I'm sorry... it just itches so bad!
"God Bless The Dead" by 2pac kicks up all over the arena. The fans give a mixed reaction to Jostrodomus. He slides into the ring and grabs a mic.
Jostrodomus: Yes god bless the dead. God bless Chaos. And god bless Chaiscuro. And god bless anyone who's ass I have kicked. Now. Onto the more important matters. Tonight Max Danger thinks he's going to take part in a match. That's fine and dandy and everything, but do you really think Maxamillion stands a chance? HELL NO he doesn't. See. He needs to stick to sitting behind a desk, and stay outta the ring before he winds up being blessed. It's that simple. I'm outta here!
"God Bless the Dead" kicks up and Joz walks out of the ring and the arena.
Randy Boggs: Strong words from the Champion, King.
King Royce: Oh he's ready for the match, but is he really ready for Kan and Danger? I don't think so!
Randy Boggs: Uh, right.
COLIN
BAIRD vs. BRONX
Regular Rules Match w/ Chris Hunter as Special Guest Referee
"War Pigs" by Ozzy kicks up, and out walks Chris Hunter, sans TV Title. He is booed pretty heavily, although a few cheers are heard here and there. Chris Hunter walks to the ring.
Randy Boggs: Do you think he'll be an impartial ref, King?
King Royce: Most definitely. He'll call this one evenly... as he'll kick both guys asses equally if given the chance!
Chris Hunter slides into the ring, as "War Pigs" fades out. Bronx's music hits, as Bronx and True Godds Inc. walks out. Bronx has the TV Title around his waist as he heads to the ring. The fans cheer for him, but some boo his thugish ways.
Randy Boggs: Bronx is carrying that TV title with him, and has some backup!
King Royce: Smart man.
Bronx slides into the ring as his music fades out. Chris Hunter charges at Bronx, who pulls out a piece of paper, stopping Hunter who has a confused look on his face. Bronx grabs a mic.
Bronx: Not so fast, Christopher. I had our good ole Commish work up a little stipulation. You cannot touch me as long as I have the Television Title in my possession. You can only touch me when provoked OR in a santioned match. This is not one of those times, so back up, because I have a match to wrestle.
Chris Hunter slowly backs away, as Bronx celebrates on the middle turnbuckle when "Duck and Run" by 3 Doors Down hits. Out walks Colin Baird to a good amount of cheers. He's a bit beaten up, however.
Randy Boggs: Colin Baird got a little roughed up earlier this evening, and it shows.
King Royce: Is that not the most STUPID stipulation ever, that Bronx said. I mean, it IS Hunter's title, not Bronx's. Someone didn't think that through before proposing it to Butcher.
Colin Baird slides into the ring, as Hunter calls for the bell. Bronx and Colin circle each other, before locking up. Bronx backs Colin into the corner, and Hunter tells them to break. They don't, so Hunter pulls them apart. Bronx and Hunter get into a little arguement. Colin rolls Bronx up. 1... 2... kick out! Bronx and Colin up. Bronx with a kick to Colin's thigh, and another. Colin catches a third. Bronx swings with a right, but Colin blocks, and pulls Bronx in. Fisherman's suplex by Colin! 1... 2.. kick out!! Colin whips Bronx to the ropes. Bronx ducks teh clothesline, and nails Colin with a spinning heel kick! Bronx picks up Colin and whips him into the corner. Rolling kick to the face by Bronx! Colin stumbles out of the corner, and Bronx climbs to the middle rope. Dropkick to back of the head by Bronx! Colin is starting to get up as Bronx hits the Oklahoma roll! 1.... 2.... kick out!! Bronx dumps Colin to the outside, and gets onto the apron. Bronx with a body block on Colin.
Randy Boggs: After a brief stint on the defense, Bronx is taking over the match.
King Royce: Yeah, and Hunter is calling it pretty fairly at the moment.
Bronx whips Colin into the ring steps. Suplex by Bronx on the floor. Hunter orders them to get back into the ring, but Bronx disobeys. Bronx picks up Colin and drops him across the guardrail. Bronx starts to kick away at the head of sitting Colin! Bronx rolls Colin back into the ring. Bronx goes up top and nails the guillotine leg drop! 1... 2... kick out!! Bronx argues with Hunter, who just crosses his arms. Bronx grabs Colin and whips him into the corner. Bronx with some rights, before climbing up for a Tornado DDT! Bronx goes for it, but Colin pushes him off! Bronx up, and a sunset flip by Colin!! 1.. 2... kick out!!! Bronx is whipped to the ropes, he goes for a floatover DDT, but Colin blocks, and goes for a Nothern Lights suplex! Bronx flips all the way out of that, and goes to the ropes. Military press by Colin! Bronx wiggles out, and goes for a diamon cutter!!! Colin blocks and hits a falling reverse DDT! 1... 2... kick out!!!
Randy Boggs: The action is starting to pick up now, King!
King Royce: Yep, and looks like Hunter will call this one down the middle.
Colin picks up Bronx and whips him to the ropes, no, Bronx reverses. Bronx lowers his head, and Colin sets up for a running powerbomb!! One of the TGI holds Colin's foot, drawing Hunter over! Bronx gets loose as the TV title is slid into him. He goes at Colin, but he misses and nails Chris Hunter!!! Bronx shrugs and blasts Colin!!! He covers, but there's no ref!!! TGI are all trying to wake Hunter up, but no dice. Bronx picks Colin back up and sets him on the top turnbuckle. Bronx goes to the apron, but a cameraman is in the way. Bronx tells him to move, but he won't. Finally he does, and Bronx climbs up with Colin. Bronx is about to set Colin up for the Bronxdriver[Michinoku Driver], but the cameraman blasts him in the back of the head with his camera!!! Colin with a top rope belly to belly suplex on Bronx!!!!! The cameraman takes off his cap to reveal MISFIT!!! The TGI see this, and start to chance Misfit out of the arena! Both Colin and Bronx get to their feet. Bronx kicks Colin low and goes for the Bronxbomb[powerbomb], but Colin wiggles out, and scoops Bronx up for the Star Struck[spinning tombstone piledriver]!! Bronx spins out of that, and goes for the Byte[powerbomb into piledriver]!!! Colin slips out, scoops Bronx up again, and nails the Star Struck!!!! Chris Hunter is back up! 1..... 2.... 3!!!
Randy Boggs: Colin Baird wins in the mild upset, King!
King Royce: Great victory for Colin Baird!
True Godds Inc return to the ring, as "Duck and Run" plays, and Colin exits the ring. TGI pulls Bronx out of the ring with the Television Title as Chris Hunter looks on, still kinda dazed. They walk to the back.
Randy Boggs: This war between Chris Hunter and Bronx is far from over.
King Royce: And insert the random Colin Baird or Misfit, and you've got total mayhem!
Randy Boggs: I wouldn't mind seeing another Colin-Bronx matchup in the future.
The scene goes backstage to find The Butcher pacing back in forth once again nervously.
The Butcher: Where the hell are they!?
Suddenly, Jose' Jose' comes walking around the corner and pauses. He stares at The Butcher's ugly suit. He smiles at The Butcher and the Commissioner smiles back.
The Butcher: I got it! Come here, Jose' Jose'. I've got a job for you.
Jose' Jose' looks confused since he doesn't speak a word of English. The Butcher waves for the jobber to follow him to the men's room. Jose' Jose' waits and then follows The Butcher in. Then we go back to Royce and Boggs once again.
Boggs: We REALLY need to get Jose' Jose' a translator. What do you suppose the Commissioner is going to do with the famous GFWA jobber, King?
Royce: You know Butch and his perverted ways. He probably needed someone to help him masturbate.
Boggs: That's sick, King!
Royce: *smiles* I know.
The scene fades to the backstage area where you see Jostrodomus and a beaten and battered Sonic Youth. The two seem to be carrying on a conversation. Sonic gets up to grab a pop out of the mini fridge in the locker room. He stands up and takes about five steps when Joz grabs his world title belt. He runs at Sonic and knocks him out. Sonic lies on the ground looking up at Joz with a look in his eyes of betrayal. Joz grabs a chair that he was sitting on and drives it into the broken wrist of Youth. The wrist is mangaled worse now. Youth is in pain as paramedics rush in, to take him out.
Jostrodomus: Only the strong survive...If your not strong...It's time for something you might know as a 187. Good day Mr. Youth. You have been sent out the door. There is no more Silencas. Never again will there be.
Jostrodomus walks out of the room with his World Title as the cameras fade back to the arena.
Randy Boggs: Oh my god! Joz just attacked his friend Sonic Youth!
King Royce: What was all that about?
Randy Boggs: I dunno, this is a whole new Joz we're seeing, King.
King Royce: And I'm starting to like it!
Randy Boggs: I just don't get it.
King Royce: And you never will, that's why we need to start our next matchup.
JOHNNY
STREET vs. THE CROW
Non-Title Match
"Dead Souls" by Nine Inch Nails kicks up as The Crow makes his appearance. The fans are just in awe of him, for whatever reason. He just looks cool! He heads towards the ring.
Randy Boggs: This will be The Crow's GFWA inring debut, King.
King Royce: Yeah, he debut last week by attacking some people here and there, most notably Jay D.
Randy Boggs: That's right, and he injured Jay D's collarbone, putting his match with Johnny Street at the Danger Zone PPV in jeopardy.
The Crow slides into the ring as "Dead Souls" fades out. "Wake Up" by Rage Against The Machine hits. The Jr. Champ, Johnny Street, comes out to quite a bit of boos. Actually A LOT of boos. He slowly climbs into the ring as the bell sounds.
Randy Boggs: This is going to be a great match, King.
King Royce: Yeah, the best Jr. Champion since Danger himself, against the newbie.
The Crow and Street circle each other before locking up. Crow controls with a headlock. Street pushes him off and top the ropes. Crow with a shoulder block to knock Street down. Crow to the ropes. Steps over Street and continues to the ropes. Leapfrog by Street, as Crow bounces off the ropes again. Street tries for the monkey flip, but Crow jumps over and rolls on the ground before popping back to his feet. Street and Crow circle each other again. They lock up again, and Street gets a hammerlock. Crow reverses with his own hammerlock. Street searches for a way to get free, then tries an elbow. Crow ducks, and hits an inverted atomic drop. Street hops around, and Crow goes to the ropes, and hits a one-hand bulldog! Crow picks Street back up and whips him to the ropes. Street ducks the clothesline, and wraps Crow about the waist. Standing switch by Crow. He tries a german suplex, but Street blocks, and grabs Crow's head, taking him over into a side headlock. Crow counters with a back suplex. Both men roll to their feet and stare each other down.
Randy Boggs: Neither man controlling early, King.
King Royce: It's a very evenly matched, uh, match.
Street and Crow circle each other again. Test of strength time. The lock their left hands, then their right and come together. Street starts to power Crow over, but Crow powers back up, and starts to power Street down. Street powers up, and starts to power Crow down again. Crow tries to power back up, but Street just powers him back down. Crow powers back up again, kicks one of their arms apart, and goes to the corner. He climbs up the corner, jumps to the top rope, bounces, spins, bounce again, and hits a head scissors takedown on Street! Street quickly back up, and Crow charges. Armdrag by Street and into an armbar! Crow does the Owen Hart flippy stuff to get out, and control Street's arm. Street counters with a thumb to the eyes, and hits a Death Valley Driver, for the first real move of the match! 1... 2.. kick out!!
Randy Boggs: Street strikes first and gets a two count.
King Royce: I didn't think they were ever going to do a real move.
Street picks up Crow and hits a vertical suplex. Street goes up top, and flies off with a big splash! Crow gets his knees up! Crow with a La Misteral cradle! 1.. 2.... kick out!!! Crow with a knife-edged chop on Street to make the crowd "Whoo!". Crow whips Street to the ropes, and hits the drop toe hold. As Street is pushing himself up, Crow bounces off the ropes and dropkicks Street right in the side of the head! Crow with a snap suplex on Street. He climbs up top and the Frog Splash connects! 1... 2.. kick out!! Crow picks Street up and hits a pulling piledriver!! 1.... 2... kick out!! Another piledriver by Crow, and he jumps to the middle turnbuckle. Moonsault by Crow!!! 1..... 2... kick out!!! Crow whips Street to the ropes and gives him a big back body drop! Crow waits behind Street as he gets to his feet. Crossface Chicken Wing by Crow!!! Street is quick to the ropes before Crow can wrap his legs around him! Crow rams Street's head into the top turnbuckle, then sets him on the rope turnbuckle. Crow with another knife-edged chop to make the crowd "Whoo!", then climbs up with him. Crow goes for a top rope hurricanranna, but Street hangs on, and Crow just falls to the canvas hard. Crow is slow to his feet, nad once he's there Street nails him with The Quest[missle dropkick]!! Street is slow to recover, and finally goes for the Rocker[sprinboard moonsault], and Crow gets his knees up!!
Randy Boggs: The Crow had this match under control, but now the champ has taken back over!
King Royce: Street almost had the Rocker, but Crow got his knees up.
Street is slow to his feet, but he gets there, as does Crow. Street swings at Crow, who ducks, and locks on the Salvation!! Street counters with a kick to the nuts!! Street wraps Crow up about the waist and goes for the German Suplex! Crow flips all the way over, where it's now chest-to-chest, and goes for the Silent Violence[reverse DDT]!!!! Street blocks and powers Crow over into tombstone position and nails a perfect jumping tombstone piledriver!! Street goes to the ropes and nails the Rocker!!!! 1..... 2....... 3!!!! "Wake Up" hits as Street celebrates his close victory!
Randy Boggs: Johnny Street beats The Crow in a great matchup!
King Royce: Impressive debut for the Crow, despite the loss.
Randy Boggs: Street narrowly escaped The Crow tonight, who looks to be ready for a Jr. Title shot.
Street continues to celebrate, despite the booing from the fans. The Crow finally comes to, as Street is celebrating on the middle turnbuckle. Street backs out of the corner, and Crow locks on the Salvation!!! Street is trying to get free but can't! Here's Jay D!!!! Jay D is out!! Jay D slides into the ring, and Crow releases the hold. Crow slides out of the ring as Jay D stands over Street. When the Crow is gone, Jay D gets in Street's face, while still holding his collarbone, which is still injured.
Jay D: I want you in one piece come Sunday, Street! You have something I want! See you next week!
"Quitter" by Eminem f/ D-12 hits, as Jay D leaves the ring.
Randy Boggs: Things are heating up in the Jr. division, King!
King Royce: I love the Jrs!
Hellz Angel walks into the building, where he bumps into Jessica Barrett-Dox.
Hellz Angel: Hey Jessica, you wanted to see me about my contract?
Jessica: Yes, I did. I'll tell you what I'll do...
From behind, The Jolly Potter sneaks up with a clay pot and Neophytou with a cinder block.
Jessica: Remember last week when Jolly Potter and Neophytou attacked you?
Hellz Angel: Yes...
Neophytou smashes the cinderblock into Hellz Angel's back and Potter smashes the clay pot over his head.
"Jessica:" You dumbass. Don't you learn?
The three walk off, as you see Hellz Angel getting to his feet with a very unhappy look on his face. We return to the arena.
Randy Boggs: Once again Hellz Angel has fallen victim to a Jolly Potter and Neophytou attack.
King Royce: Why is he alone? Shouldn't he ALWAYS be with Devilz Messenger?
Randy Boggs: One would think so.
The scene cuts backstage where you see Jolly Potter cusing and jumping up and down. The camera zooms in as you see that Jolly has fallen victim to the worst thing imaginable....he lost his money to a vending machine! Neo stands beside him grunting, not saying anything that resembles english. Jolly finally calms down.
Jolly: Alright they sell food at this place, right?
Neo: *grunt*
Jolly: My thoughts exactly. So there has to be a kitchen around here somewhere. Come on lets find it.
Neo nods and they turn the corner and start to walk amilously. Japan Air rounds the corner behind them, both holding bats. Neo notices them and points it out to Jolly. Jolly turn and sees Kensi and Jubei smiling with baseball bats heading right for them. They run instead of fighting and duck into two big grey doors. Japan Air rushes past not seeing them. Jolly stands up and realizes he is fond the kitchen. He smile to himself...but the smile is whiped off his face as a frying pan nails him in the face! Within seconds Neo is nailed by one too! DEVILZ DARKSIDE stand over the two wrestlers laughing their ass off. Out in the hall Kensi recognizes the laughter and Japan Air barges in the room.
Kensi: Hey, we saw them first!
Devilz Messenger: But you couldn't get the job done.
Things seem to heat up as the teams give each other dirty looks. Chris Phere enters the kitchen from the other side and charges the Darkside.
Jubei: Double D, get down.
Devilz Messenger and Hellz Angel duck and Jubie swings the bat nailing Chris as he falls unconsious. Devilz Messenger and Hellz Angel stand, wondering why Jubei just saved their asses. Within seconds Kyle Phere enters from the same way that Japan Air entered and charges Japan Air.
Devilz Messenger: Air, duck!
Kensi: A duck? Where?
Jubei drops to the ground, pulling Kensi with him and Hellz Angel nails Kyle with with the frying pan still in hand. Kensi and Jubei stand and the stare down continues as the scene fades back to the arena.
Randy Boggs: Well there's payback for Potter and Neo.
King Royce: The Phere Brothers got a little present to, that in the form of an ass-kicking.
Randy Boggs: That's why Japan Air and Devilz Darkside are the most dominate tag teams in the history of the GFWA.
King Royce: Damn right!
Randy Boggs: Well, folks, we'll be right back after these commercials, so don't go away!
<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Randy Boggs: Welcome back everyone!
King Royce: Poison berry juice, the best breakfast drink for those people who aren't accepted into cults, but want to participate in mass suicides!
Randy Boggs: What are you doing?
King Royce: It's 99% poison and 1% berry juice! Just refrigerate, and you've got yourself some killing refreshments!
Randy Boggs: Will you shut up.
King Royce: It's even great for parties!
Randy Boggs: I guess since we aren't actually showing commercials tonight, he decided to plug something.
The scene switches to a backstage hallway where Rockin’ Johnny Street is walking. He comes up to a soda machine and puts in a dollar. Nothing comes out. He kicks the machine as hard as he damn well can and makes a big dent. A loud groan comes from inside the soda machine, so Street pries the door open. There is Lou Nattik, clutching his genital area, after Street “accidentally” kicked him there. Nattik drops the silver pole and falls to the ground, where Street starts kicking him and muttering.
Street: Don’t try any of that with me. You can’t beat me! You can’t hurt me! You can’t get past me! You are not worthy of being compared to me! Last week somebody screwed me over when I was about to do all of us a favor and take you out. Well now I’m going to complete the job!
Street stops kicking Nattik and leans the soda machine against a nearby wall, so it stays diagonal. Now Street drags Nattik so his head is under the machine.
Street: You thought you could come right back and beat me? You thought you could come right back and get a shot at me? Did you think that you could get everything you wanted? No, you are going to have to work for it! Oh, wait... it’s gonna be a little hard to do if you can’t ever wrestle again!
The man in black that so many of us recognize as the man who screws over Johnny a bunch, comes running down the hallway and spears Street.
Man: Don’t kill him, he’s part of the little history you have left, that you know about. But keep searching for the truth if you think you’re ready. And save this for the ring...
The man leaves as Lou Nattik and Johnny Street roll around on the ground in pain. We head back to the arena.
Randy Boggs: Who was that guy?
King Royce: I dunno, but Street's the second person to have vending maching problems. This arena sucks.
Randy Boggs: I guess, but there's always the concession stands.
King Royce: I'm not paying two bucks for a candy bar I can get for seventy-five cents out of a machine!
Randy Boggs: Ok, then don't.
King Royce: I won't!
Randy Boggs: Ok, good.
King Royce: That's right.
Randy Boggs: Ok.
King Royce: Ok.
Randy Boggs: Right.
King Royce: Right, carry on then.
Randy Boggs: Alright.
King Royce: Go on now.
Randy Boggs: SHUT UP!!
King Royce: Ok.
Randy Boggs: AAAAAHHH!!!
"For Whom The Bell Tolls" By Metallica hits to put us out of our misery with the Boggs-King shit. The fans start to cheer somewhat as Kent Blade walks through the curtains. Kent Blade starts down the aisle, and slides into the ring. He takes a mic and stands in the center of the ring when his music fades out.
Kent Blade: Respect. That's what we as sports entertainers strive for. We want respect from our fans and critics. But most importantly we want the respect of our peers. The fellow wrestlers feel a sense of pride when someone else respects them and their work. A wrestler without respect feels empty inside. Respect, that's what I want. No one respects me. Not the fans. Not the critics. Not the wrestlers. Not even the higher up running this organization. Want proof? The next match will be Payne defending the United States Championship, a belt he lost I might add, against Ricky Green, the Elite Killa. Ricky Green. Ricky Green. That name sounds familiar, but I can't really place it. Oh yes, now I remember. Ricky Green is the man who is riding Chaos' fame towards greatness here in the GFWA. Ricky Green has taken Chaos' persona, the Elite Players name, and is using it to his advantage.
The fans boo at the mention of Ricky's name.
Kent Blade: Smart idea, but why should he get something he hasn't earned just because of who he knew and what he calls himself? Ricky Green hasn't done anything to earn an US Title shot. Oh sure, he is a former multi-time Light Heavyweight... excuse me, Jr. champion. But so what? Is that reason enough to warrant a title shot? I don't think so. Because any former champion can use that, even if they weren't a great champion. Ricky Green wasn't a big draw, and when he was Jr. Champion, the GFWA had a weak division. Ricky Green has ridden his former leader's coattails to an US title shot, without earning it. So I ask, where's MY US TITLE SHOT? Am I not as deserving as RIcky? Have I not done the same as RIcky? I will admit, I don't deserve an US Title shot, but neither does Ricky, but yet he has one! Where's my ttile shot!?
The crowd starts to cheer for Kent's title shot.
Kent Blade: I shall have my title shot soon and I will have my RESPECT! Witness me... Witness Domination!!!
"For Whom The Bell Tolls" kicks up once again as Kent Blade tosses down the mic, and walks out of the ring.
Randy Boggs: Kent Blade is out for respect and the US Title, King.
King Royce: He doesn't deserve a title anywhere.
Randy Boggs: I think he does, and I think he will get it eventually. He is destined for greatness. He has all the tools.
King Royce: Yeah, like you would know.
Randy Boggs: I would, and I also know that it's for the title match between Payne and Ricky Green.
PAYNE
vs. RICKY GREEN
US Title Match
Ricky Green's music hits as "Elite Killa" Ricky Green walks out onto the stage, and the boos start up immediately. Ricky Green starts towards the ring as he's bombarded with insults and boos.
Randy Boggs: Ricky Green is a changed man, and it might be best for his career.
King Royce: He does have an US title shot doesn't he?
Ricky's music fades out as he walks around the ring waiting for... "Pain" by 2pac starts to play and out walks the US Champion, Payne. He is without his US title, but the fans are kinda mixed on what to do. Half are cheering, since he's facing Ricky, and the other half is booing, just because. Payne walks down the aisle.
Randy Boggs: Payne lost the US Title, so that's why he doesn't have it.
King Royce: Dumbass.
Payne slides into the ring as "Pain" fades out. The ref signals for the bell, and Ricky charges at Payne. Ricky ducks Payne's clothesline and continues to the ropes. He tries a crossbody block, but Payne catches him. Fallaway slam by Payne, and Ricky rolls out of the ring. Ricky starts to walk around the ring as Payne jumps out. Payne follows Ricky around the ring until Ricky rolls back in. Payne follows and Ricky lays in the boots to Payne's back. Payne up and Ricky lays in the boots to Payne's stomach. Irish whip by Ricky is reversed. Payne with a back elbow to knock Ricky down! Payne with some rights before whipping Ricky into the corner. Payne charges in, and Ricky gets his boot up. Payne backs up and charges again, and Ricky moves. Rollup by Ricky! 1.. .2.. kick out! Payne clobbers Ricky with a clothesline! Payne lifts Ricky to his feet and whips him to the ropes. Back body drop by Payne! Ricky rolls out and onto the apron. Payne charges and knocks Ricky off the apron and to the concrete!! Payne climbs onto the apron, and leaps off with a big splash! Payne whips Ricky into the ring steps! Payne charges at him, and Ricky rolls out of the way at the last second! Payne slams into the steps and flips over them! Ricky is slow to his feet, but finally gets there. Ricky rams Payne's head into the guardrail. He whips Payne towards the apron, but Payne reverses. Ricky jumps onto the apron, kicks Payne in the face to back him up, and nails an Asai moonsault! Both men go tumbling over the guadrail!
Randy Boggs: Ricky Green has jumped back on top of Payne here, literally.
King Royce: Ricky needs to stick and move, and get Payne off his feet. He can brawl with the man.
Ricky climbs back over the railing and slides into the ring. Ricky climbs up to the top turnbuckle. Payne gets to his feet in the first row. Ricky with a suicide senton off the top rope and onto Payne in the first row! Both men fall over some fans and over chairs! Ricky is up first and slumps over the railing. He slowly slides back into the ring as the fans chant "Holy Shit!". Payne finally gets to his feet, and steps over the railing. He stands by ringside, when Ricky hits him with a baseball slide! Ricky with a springboard crossbody block on Payne! Payne catches him and rams him into the ring post backfirst! Payne backs up and does it again! Payne tosses Ricky up onto his shoulder, and hits a running powerslam on the concrete!! Payne picks up Ricky and whips him into the guardrail, and Ricky flair flips up and over!! Payne walks over and grabs Ricky by the hair. Payne with a delayed vertical suplex on Ricky back in from the crowd!! Payne picks up Ricky and rolls him back into the ring. Payne is going up top. Payne nails a big flying eblow on Ricky!!!! LUCHA PAYNE~! 1...... 2.... kick out!!! Payne picks up Ricky and whips him to the ropes. Big sidewalk slam by Payne! 1... 2... kick out!!! Payne whips Ricky into the corner chest first! Ricky stumbles backwards and Payne hits an atomic drop! Ricky staggers around a bit, walking gingerly before charging at Payne. Inverted atomic drop by Payne, then a DDT! 1.... 2.... thr... kick out!!!!
Randy Boggs: Ricky Green just won't stay down.
King Royce: He even took LUCHA PAYNE~! Just amazing!
Payne picks up Ricky and whips him to the ropes. Payne lowers his head and Ricky hangs onto the ropes. Ricky walks over and tries a powrebomb! Payne is just too much to get up, and he backdrops Ricky! Ricky hangs onto the legs and tries to pull him over for a rollup. Payne keeps his balance, and picks Ricky up by the throat. Ricky spits in Payne's eyes to get loose. Ricky dropkicks Payne's knee! Ricky does it again and knocks Payne to one knee. Payne back up though, but Ricky ducks his wild haymaker, and gets the sleeper! Payne runs backwards and squashes Ricky in the corner! Payne lifts Ricky up onto the top turnbuckle, and climbs up to join him. Payne goes for a top rope powerbomb! He leaps off, and Ricky reverses it in midair with a hurricanranna!!!!! Holy shit chant! Ricky covers! 1..... 2..... thr.... kick out!!! Ricky whips Payne to the ropes, no it's reversed. Payne tries a knee to the gut, but Ricky grabs his leg and rolls him up! 1... 2... kick out!! Payne up and misses the clothesline! Backslide by Ricky! 1.... 2... kick out! Payne is whipped to the ropes. He hangs on as Ricky attempts a dropkick! Payne slingshots Ricky into the corner! Ricky stumbles out and Payne wraps him up about the waist. He goes for a belly to back suplex, but Ricky blocks and reverses into a rollup! 1... 2.... kick out!! Payne up and knocks Ricky's head off with a big boot!!! Payne whips Ricky to the ropes and lifts him up over his head and drops him to the mat for the Final Prayer! Payne signals for the end and sets Ricky up for the Crucifixion[Crucifix powerbomb]!!!! Here's J.J. $tudd!!!
Randy Boggs: What's JJ $tudd doing out here!?
King Royce: I dunno, but he's ruining a great match!
Ricky is dropped out of the Crucifixion by Payne, as JJ climbs onto the apron. He's right is blocked, and Payne knocks JJ off the apron with a big clubbing right of his own! Ricky crawls over and school boys Payne! 1.... 2.... thre... kick out!!! Payne and Ricky up and Payne whips Ricky to the ropes. Ricky slides between his legs, and is pulled all the way out of the ring by JJ! Ricky nails JJ and whips him into the ring steps!! Ricky climbs onto the apron, and Payne grabs his head. Payne rams Ricky's head into the top turnbuckle, then tries to suplex Ricky back into the ring. Ricky blocks, and knees Payne low through the ropes. Payne stumbles backwards, and Ricky slingshots in with a sunset flip! 1.... 2... kick out!!! Ricky with a drop toe hold on Payne! Ricky goes onto the apron and hits a slingshot senton!!! 1.... 2.... kick out!!! Ricky picks Payne up and whips him into the corner. Ricky tries a one man Poetry in Motion, but Payne catches him! Payne walks with Ricky out of the corner, while Ricky punches away at his head. A finger to the eyes gets Ricky free. Ricky goes to the ropes and hits a running blockbuster on Payne!! Ricky's going up top!! Elite Killa[Shooting star press] by Ricky!!!! Payne gets his knees up!!!! Payne grabs Ricky and lifts him up as if he was crucified, and slams him to the mat with the Crucifixion!!!! 1...... 2..... 3!!!!!!!
Randy Boggs: Wow! What a match! And Payne retains!!
King Royce: Ricky proved to everyone he WAS worthy of this shot, and almost came away with the title on numerous occassions!
"Pain" starts to play with JJ $tudd slides back into the ring with a steel chair! He whacks Payne across the back and puts him down. JJ continues to pound on Payne with the chair, until Syn comes running out. Syn chases JJ out of the ring, then stands over Payne.
Syn: Payne, you and me, at The Danger Zone! Unification match! I'll see you there!
"God of the Mind" hits as the fans begin to boo. Syn jumps out of the ring and starts towards the back.
King Royce: Well, that was contrived, eh?
Randy Boggs: Yeah, but it gets the point across.
King Royce: I guess.
The scenes opens up outside of Max Dangers office, from behind the camera walks Sean Jones he knocks on the door. You hear "come in" and Sean does he walks and there is Max Danger in his wrestling attire with his feet up on the desk Extreme title on the table as well.
Max: What can I do for you Sean?
Sean: Max I have a problem with the Extreme Title Tournament.
Max: What's your problem with it?
Sean: You and I both know that Misfit and I will both tear through the tournament just to get a shot at our gold, so I propose a match instead the tournament. How ab..*interrupted*
Max: I'm sorry Sean, but I can't do that the matches are for the tournament.
Sean: This is bullsh*t! Everytime I get a chance to win a belt it's either put up in a tournament or something or is vacated, this time Danger it's gonna be different.
Sean grabs the Extreme Belt and runs out the door as Max Danger jumps out of his seat and chases after him but to no avail, Sean is already gone. We head on back to the arena.
Randy Boggs: Sean Jones just stole the Extreme Title from Danger's desk!
King Royce: What's he doing keeping it out on the desk like that?
Randy Boggs: I dunno.
King Royce: I mean, come on, someone is going to steal it if it's just laying there!
Randy Boggs: I know, and Sean Jones just did.
King Royce: You gotta lock something like that up in a safe.
Randy Boggs: Yep.
King Royce: Why did he even have it here in the first place? He's not crowning a new champion tonight anyway.
Randy Boggs: I dunno, you'll have to ask Max.
King Royce: I just...
Randy Boggs: Need to shut up.
The scene switches to a faraway shot of a barn with animals.
Narrator: A farm and five acres – Hell of a lot of money!
Zoom in to the animals. They are all llamas.
Narrator: A llama - $5 an hour, BITCH!
Scene zooms to a can of something in the corner.
Narrator: Llama saliva producer - $10, you sick pervert!
The scene goes to a really happy man, looking a little gay.
Narrator: But owning your very own llama farm – Priceless!
The screen is now fading to black.
Narrator: Some things you can’t have on the Internet, for everything else there’s the YoYo NeWsItE.
A bunch of small print appears at the bottom, and http://www.angelfire.com/extreme/yoyonews/index.htm flashes as the scene fades back to the arena.
Randy Boggs: Man, I love those commercials.
King Royce: Me too, but not as much as olive-soaked raisin nutbread. The nutbread you'll want when being attacked by killing Hyena's. Just wave these big beauties in their faces and they're bound to be distracted by your meatier and more tenderizing human skin.
Randy Boggs: Wha?
King Royce: *speaking as softly and as fast as he can* May not always prevent Hyena attacks. May also cause attacks by lions, tigers, bears, falcons, eagles, sharks, hunters, rhinos, cheetahs, leopards, and earthworms. Keep out of the reach of children who may or may not suffer from down syndrome. Has been known to cause explosive diarrehea when eaten and could be fatal if taken more than once a day.
Randy Boggs: You scare me!
CHRIS
HUNTER vs. LOU NATTIK
Non-Title Extreme Rules Match
Lou Nattik's music kicks up as a clip of what happened earlier with Johnny Street is shown. He heads towards the ring. He slides in, when his music fades out and "War Pigs" by Ozzy hits. Out walks Chris Hunter, sans TV Title. Chris Hunter gets halfway down the aisle, when Lou Nattik meets up with him. The two men start trading blows on the ramp. Hunter gets the upperhand, and knocks Lou backwards. Their off the ramp and Hunter whips Lou into the guardrail. Hunter grabs Lou and whips him across to the other guardrail! Hunter goes at Lou, and is flipped over the railing and into the crowd! Lou comes off the railing with a cross body block on Hunter! Lou tosses Hunter over the railing, and climbs over himself. Lou walks away then comes running. He jumps onto the railing and runs across it. He leaps off at Hunter, who catches his arm and puts him in the crossface!! Lou gets out by poking Hunter in the eyes. Hunter clears his vision, but walks into a spinning heel kick from Lou. Lou slides into the ring, and runs to the ropes. Lou goes for a suicide dive, but Hunter grabs a steel chair and pastes Lou with it!!! Hunter picks up Lou and hits a snap suplex on the chair! Snap Powerbomb on the chair by Hunter!! Lou is lifted to his feet and nailed with some hard knife-edged chops! Hunter whips Lou into the ring steps, then hits Gutwrench suplex on the floor!! Hunter rolls Lou back into the ring and climbs to the top turnbuckle. Hunter with the diving headbutt and it connects!! 1..... 2.... thr.... kick out!!! Hunter picks up Lou and whips Hunter to the ropes. Powerslam by Hunter! 1... 2... kick out! Hunter picks up Lou and hits a snap brainbuster!!! 1..... 2..... thre.... kick out!!!!
Randy Boggs: Chris Hunter can't keep Lou Nattik down, King!
King Royce: Yeah, Lou is hanging tough, but eventually Hunter's onslaught will finish off Lou.
Hunter picks up Lou and whips him into the corner. He charges in with a big clothesline! Hunter lifts Lou up onto the top turnbuckle. Superplex by Hunter!! 1... 2.. kick out!! Hunter with a dragon sleeper on Lou!! Lou tries to power up, but Hunter drops him down with a inverted DDT-backbreaker combination move! 1..... 2... kick out!!! Hunter whips Lou to the ropes and lowers his head. Sunset flip by Lou! 1.... 2... kick out! Hunter's knife-edged chop is ducked, and Lou nails four straight of his own! Making the crowd "Whoo!" their pants off. Lou kicks Hunter in the stomach and lifts him up for a suplex. Lou drops Hunter across the top rope, leaving him to hang out to dry! Lou goes off the ropes, and hits a sunset flip powerbomb on Hunter off the apron and onto the concrete floor!!!!! Lou powers Hunter back up and hits a spinning powerbomb!!!! Lou rolls Hunter back into the ring and hits a slingshot leg drop!!!! 1..... 2..... thr... kick out!!! Lou with a snap suplex on Hunter, but hangs on and hits another, he rolls over and hits a third snap suplex! 1... 2.... kick out!!! Lou picks up Hunter and whips him into the corner. Lou charges at Hunter, who jumps up and Lou slides under him and out of the ring. Lou grabs Hunter's legs and yanks him down onto his stomach. Lou pulls Hunter back, crotching him on the ring post!! Lou climbs back onto the apron, as Hunter crawls out of the corner. Lou goes up top as Hunter gets to his feet. Hunter stumbles around before turning towards Lou. Flying head scissors by Lou!! Lou picks up Hunter and hits a release German suplex!! Hunter back up and is hit with a T-Bone suplex! Lou follows that up with a Northern Lights suplex!! 1..... 2..... thre.... kick out!!! Lou picks up Hunter and whips him to the ropes and a big back elbow takes Hunter down! Here comes Johnny Street!!
Randy Boggs: Just perfect! Lou Nattik is controlling the match and here comes Johnny Street.
King Royce: YES!
Lou with a Narcoplex on Hunter! Lou whips Hunter to the ropes, and kicks him in the stomach. Implant DDT by Lou!! 1.... 2.... kick out!!! Lou whips Hunter into the corner, and charges in. Hunter pulls the ref in the way, and Lou squashes him!! Lou hits the Psychoticutter[3/4 turn neckbreaker] on Hunter, but there's no ref!!! Johnny Street is on the top rope and nails Lou with the The Quest[missle dropkick]!!! Johnny places Hunter on Lou and wakes up the ref. 1............ 2.......... thre...... kick out!!!!! Johnny is going nuts on the outside!!! Hunter grabs Lou and whips him to the ropes. Lou ducks the clothesline and hits the flying forearm!! Lou with a lionsault!!! 1... 2.... kick out!! Lou grabs Hunter and goes for the Psychoticutter, but Hunter pushes him to the ropes! Street nails Lou with the title! German suplex by Hunter!!! 1....... 2....... thre.... kick out!!!!!! Street is going nuts!!! Hunter picks up Lou and whips him to the corner. Lou jumps to the top rope and tries a corkscrew splash but Hunter steps an inch back and Lou misses! Hunter grabs Lou and locks on the Silent Death[texas cloverleaf]!!!! Lou resists for awhile, but finally taps!!!
Randy Boggs: Chris Hunter wins!! But it took a lot to put Lou away!
King Royce: He cheated!!!
Randy Boggs: I know Street did.
King Royce: No, Lou did!
Randy Boggs: How?
King Royce: He just did.
Randy Boggs: Right, well let's go back to RJ who's with Max Danger.
As "War Pigs" plays the cameras go backstage where RJ is standing with Max Danger in his office.
RJ: Mr. President, in a few short minutes, you will be teaming with Kan to take on Joz and Dexter. What are your thoughts on that?
Max Danger: My thoughts are this. Joz and Dexter seem to think that I don't have the talent anymore. They think I can't cut it in the ring anymore. Well I'm going to prove them wrong, RJ. They know and the fans know that I was the first ever US Champion, and a former Light Heavyweight Champion. I can wrestle. It may have been awhile since I've been in the ring, but I keep in shape by working out ever single day, either in the gym, or in the bed with my wife. So guys, if you think you're going to be able to walk over me, you've got another thing coming. Oh, and don't forget, I am your boss. I can do anything I want!
RJ: *Danger walks off* Back to you Randy!
We head back to the arena.
Randy Boggs: Thanks RJ!
King Royce: Danger is pumped!
Randy Boggs: And that's next, but first.... some commercials.
<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Randy Boggs: Good to have you all back. Coming up soon is the big tag team match between Kan/Danger and Joz/Dexter. It's going to be explosive.
King Royce: Damn right it is!
The scene fades to the loading dock of the arena. A large bus has just pulled up. The Butcher comes into the scene and shakes the driver's hand. The driver then opens the bus doors and about 30 midgets all dressed up as leprechauns run out. You can hear the crowd laughing. The Butcher signals for all the midgets to line up and face him. He looks them all over and then turns to the driver.
The Butcher: Are you sure everyone of these guys are Irish? I don't want any imitation Irish you understand? I paid good money for these guys and so they better be authentic.
Driver: Listen, every single one of these guys are straight from Ireland. I saw them come over on the boat myself.
An ugly as sin midget steps out of the line and walks up to The Butcher and pulls on his ugly green pant leg. He speaks up in his Irish accent.
Midget: When do we get to eat?
The Butcher: Get back in line, little man! Thank you, Mr. Driver, I can handle it from here.
The driver gets back in the bus and begins to drive off. The Butcher looks at all the midgets again as if he was a bootcamp officer.
The Butcher: Stand up straight, boys! You have been hand picked to be in the first annual GFWA St. Patrick's Day parade. We will teach the GFWA fans about the Irish customs and then we will have a tribute to St. Patrick himself.
A beer truck drives up from out of no where. It's a large Guinness beer truck. The Butcher sees it coming and rubs his hands.
The Butcher: Here comes some of the props now. Listen up, Leprechauns! The man playing St. Patrick will be GFWA wrestler Jose' Jose'. Now I have to leave to oversee the rest of the show so I'm going to leave my Mexican friend here in charge of the parade. Work with him.
Jose' Jose' comes into the screen dressed up in a similar leprechaun suit as The Butcher. The Butcher shakes his hand and walks away leaving the Mexican with 30 Irish midgets to plan a parade by the end of the show.
Royce: Randy, we're going to have a parade!
Boggs: Jose' Jose' can't even speak English let alone plan a parade! This is going to be chaotic!
Royce: I love Chaos! HA!
Randy Boggs: Clever. Now it's time for our big match!
JOSTRODOMUS
and DEXTER vs. KAN and MAX DANGER
Regular Rules Tag Team Match
"Born of a Broken Man" by Rage Against the Machine hits, and out walks the President, Max Danger. The boos start immediately, as Max walks arm and arm to the ring with his wife Jessica. He just soaks in the boos, before sliding into the ring. "Born of a Broken Man" fades out as Max is doing the Lance Storm pose on the ropes with Jessica in front of him on the apron. "Prince Charming" by Metallica kicks up, and chants of "No U Kan't" begin. Kan walks onto the ramp with the "real" World title around his waist and the GFWA world title around Erika's. They start down the aisle, as they boos reign down upon them. They climb into the ring when "Prince Chaming" fades out and "Basket Case" by Green Day starts to play. Dexter walks out, and the place explodes. He stops just at the bottom of the ramp, when "Basket Case" fades out and "God Bless The Dead" by 2pac blast through the arena. The place gets even louder as Jostrodomus walks out. He runs towards the ring and together he and Dexter slides in. Max and Kan slide out, as Dexter and Joz jump to the middle turnbuckles and lift their arms into the air. "God Bless The Dead" stops playing, as the bell sounds.
Randy Boggs: This is going to be explosive!
King Royce: I can't wait!
Max Danger climbs onto the apron, while Kan stands on the outside. Max is yelling at Kan to get in the ring, but he won't. Joz walks over and yanks Max into the ring. Joz is unloading on Max with rights. More rights from Joz and he whips him to the ropes. Big clothesline by Joz! Max is whipped to the ropes again, ducks this clothesline, ducks another, but walks into a big boot! Joz picks up Danger and tags in Dexter. Danger dashes across the ring and tags in Kan! Kan slowly gets in, and circles Dexter. They lock up, and Kan gets the headlock. Dexter pushes Kan to the ropes, who takes Dexter down with a shoulder block. Kan to the ropes, and steps over Dexter. Leapfrog by Dexter. Hiptoss by Dexter and into the armbar. Kan whips Dexter to the ropes to get free, but gets taken down with a cross body! Dexter with rights to Kan, then whips him to the ropes. Danger pulls tags Kan's back. Kan ducks Dexter's clothesline, then another. Kan slides out of the ring, as Danger comes off the top with a springboard cross body, and Dexter catches him. Fallaway slam by Dexter and Danger rolls out of the ring. Danger walks around the ring as the ref keeps Dexter back. Danger jumps back into the ring and immediately tags Kan.
Randy Boggs: Dexter and Joz is controlling early, King.
King Royce: Danger and Kan just need to get warmed up.
Kan gets back in and locks up with Dexter. Kan backs Dexter into the corner, and the ref pulls them apart. Slap by Kan, and Dexter gets angry. He tosses Kan into the corner and unloads with some rights and kicks. Dexter whips Kan out of the corner, and to the other. Flair flip by Kan, and Dexter knocks Kan off the apron with a springboard flying forearm!! Both men on the outside, and Dexter slams Kan into the ring steps. Dexter goes after Max which allows Kan time to hit Dexter in the back. Dexter is rolled back into the ring. Kan stomps away at Dexter and whips him to the ropes. Kan with a back elbow, then drops the knee. 1... 2.. kick out. Kan scoops up Dexter and slams him down. Kan drops the elbow. 1... 2.. kick out. 1.... 2... kick out. 1... 2... kick out. Kan picks up Dexter and connects with some forearms. European uppercut from Kan. Irish whip by Kan, and he gives Dexter a back body drop. Kan with a reverse chinlock on Dexter. Dexter elbows free, then goes to the ropes. Kan with a samoan drop on Dexter! Kan walks over and spits on Joz, drawing him in. Kan knocks Dexter into his corner, and Danger starts to choke away as Kan lays in the boots. The ref gets Joz out, and Danger quits his choking. Kan tags in Danger, who lays in the boots some more. Danger whips Dexter to the ropes, and locks on the abdominal stretch! Danger reaches back and gets leverage from Kan pulling on his arm! The ref checks, but they already let go. Danger does it again and the crowd starts to boo and shout. They release just before the ref sees. Danger does it again, and the ref sees, kicking their arms apart. Danger gets in the ref's face, and Dexter rolls Danger up! 1... 2.. kick out!! Danger kicks Dexter straight in the face! Danger gives Joz the double-fingered salute, drawing him in. Kan and Danger stomp away at Dexter. Danger tosses Dexter over to Kan. Powerbomb-neckbreaker combo from the heels. Danger slaps his hands together. The ref gets Joz out, as Kan covers Dexter. 1... 2... kick out!!
Randy Boggs: King, some massive cheating going on from Danger and Kan.
King Royce: I haven't seen any such thing.
Kan whips Dexter to the ropes. Dexter ducks the clothesline, and goes for a floatover DDT! It's blocked, and Kan hits the Northern Lights suplex! 1... 2... kick out!! Kan grabs Dexter and whips him into the corner. He charges in, but Dexter moves. Dexter goes to tag Joz, but Kan stops him. Russian leg sweep from Kan! Kan off the ropes and drops the knee! Kan starts choking Dexter and lets go after a four count from the ref. Kan picks up Dexter and whips him to the ropes. Spinebuster by Kan! Figure four leglock by Kan!!! Danger pulls on Kan's arms for leverage!!! Joz is in and kicks their arms apart! The ref gets Joz out, and Kan tags in Danger. Danger with some knife-edged chops, making the crowd "Whoo!" despite who did 'em. Danger whips Dexter into the corner, and goes for a spear! Dexter moves and Danger's shoulder rams into the ring post!! Rollup by Dexter! 1.... 2.... kick out!! Danger up and kicks Dexter in the gut. DDT by Danger and he tags Kan back in. Kan stomps away at Dexter, then sets him onto the top turnbuckle. Top rope gutwrench suplex by Kan!!!! 1..... 2.... thr... Joz breaks it up! Kan gets in Joz's face, causing the ref to get distracted. Danger starts to choke Dexter with the bottom rope! Danger back on the apron, when the ref restores order. Kan jumps onto Dexter's back! Kan turns Dexter onto his back, and slingshots Dexter's throat into the bottom rope!!! Kan pulls Dexter to the center of the ring and gets the Boston Crab!!! Joz in and clobbers Kan from behind! Kan tags Danger in, and they hit a drop to hold-superkick combo move!!! Danger covers! 1.... 2... thre... Joz breaks it up again!!
Randy Boggs: Joz is continuing to make the save.
King Royce: Kan and Danger have this all under control.
Danger picks up Dexter and whips him into the corner. Danger charges in and Dexter gets his boot up. Danger backs up and charges again. Dexter flips Danger up and over the top rope. Danger lands on the ring apron. Danger jumps to the top turnbuckle, and Dexter falls into the ropes, causing Danger to crotch himself! Dexter slowly climbs up and hits the superplex!!! Both men are down!!! Dexter starts to crawl towards Joz, as Danger gets to his feet. Danger stops Dexter and wraps him up about the waist!! German suplex by Danger, but Joz tagged Dexter's foot!!! Danger rolls through and hits the Tiger suplex!! Danger rolls through again and hits the Dragon suplex!!! The ref doesn't count, however, and Joz is in. He grabs Danger and starts to unload on him. Kan in and Joz body slams him. Clothesline for Danger. Clothesline for Kan. Spinebuster for Danger! Kan whips Joz, but it's reversed! Lou Thesz press and Joz unloads with some rights on Kan!!! Danger over and Joz back drops him onto Kan!! Joz clotheslines Danger over the top rope and to the floor. Dexter to his feet, and they whip Kan to the ropes. Double shoulder block. Joz gets Kan in a Boston Crab and Dexter locks on a camel clutch!!! Danger is back on the apron, and Dexter releases his hold. Danger grabs Dexter's tights and yanks him out of the ring. Danger goes at Joz, and Joz catches the superkick! Joz spins Danger around, and hits the #1 Stunna[rock bottom]!!!! Kan quickly knocks Joz to the outside! Kan and Joz start to brawl on the outside and the ref tries to break it up. Dexter back into the ring, he waits for Danger to get up, and he does with the help of the ropes. He staggers around, and when he turns around, Dexter goes for the Flatliner! A man jumps over the railing and slides into the ring. He grabs Dexter and hits a Fisherman's Buster on Dexter!!!!
Randy Boggs: Who was that!? Who helped Danger!?
King Royce: I dunno, but he looks weird. Have of his face is normal, and the other face is painted like a demented clown!
Danger covers Dexter as the mysterious man slides out of the ring. The ref gets back in, and doesn't count. Danger picks up Dexter and scoops him up for a tombstone. He walks over to the corner for the middle rope tombstone. Dexter wiggles free, and reverses the hold. Dexter climbs to the middle rope and nails Danger with the middle rope tombstone!!! He covers, but Kan pulls him out of the ring! He slams him into the ring steps, then slides into the ring. Joz slides in as well, and sets up Kan for the #1 Stunna! Kan reverses and goes for the Kan of Slam[pumphandle backbreaker]!!! Dexter slides in and clotheslines Kan!! Danger is up and goes at Joz! #1 Stunna for Danger again!!! 1.... 2..... Dexter hits the Flatliner on Kan.... 3!!!!! "God Bless The Dead" hits as Joz and Dexter celebrate!
Randy Boggs: Jostrodomus and Dexter have pulled it off!
King Royce: They cheated!!
Randy Boggs: Again, your eyes are playing tricks on you, because it was Danger who had a half-man/half-clown help him. But it didn't work.
King Royce: Whatever. You only see what you want to see.
Randy Boggs: Uh, I see what's happening, you see what you wish was happening.
King Royce: Riiight. Here have some of this Poison... er berry juice.
Randy Boggs: Uh, no.
The scene goes back to the arena's loading dock. Jose' Jose' is just standing there with a stupid smile on his face while the midget leprechauns are all fighting in a drunken rage and drinking the beer. The Butcher comes back into the scene to find a bunch of a midget leprechauns beating the hell out of each other. He runs up to Jose' Jose' and shakes him.
The Butcher: What the hell happened!?
Jose' Jose' stands there smiling. The Butcher slaps him across the face.
The Butcher: Say something damn it!
Jose' Jose': Es muy gordo!
The Butcher: I'm not fat! Are you crazy? Do something or the parade is going to be ruined!
The midget leprechauns turn to the attention of The Butcher and Jose' Jose'. They all run at the Commissioner and the jobber angrily. Jose' Jose' and The Butcher look at each other and scream as they are overtaken by the midgets. After a few minutes of them getting beat up they get away from the midgets but there are too many of them. Jose' Jose' and The Butcher's suits are ripped up and The Butcher's top hat is broken over his head. The two run to the beer truck as fast as possible and jump inside. They lock the doors and start yell for help because the Irish midgets are bagging on the windows.
The Butcher: We didn't steal your lucky charms! We didn't steal your lucky charms!
Jose' Jose': Maria! Maria!
Then the Commissioner feels something in his pants. He unzips the awful looking things and that hungry midget leprechaun pops out and bits the Commissioner's hand. The midget then opens the door as The Butcher begins to kiss his bitten hand. Jose' Jose' screams like a woman as the rest of the midgets jump into the beer truck and attack the GFWA stars.
Boggs: I'm speechless!
Royce: I'm wet! Man those leprechauns where hott!
Boggs: Gross!
King Royce: Damn straight!
The cameras cut backstage once again, where Sean Jones is shown wearing the Extreme title around his waist and getting some grub and a sexy female walks past him. Jones starts to try and put the moves on her and she leads him on a bit. Another man walks up and he sees this shit, so he confronts Sean Jones. Jones and the man start to go at it, and the man puts Jones through the catering table! The man then whistles and Misfit comes into the picture with three other people. Each man has a different weapon, and Misfit has his hands wrapped in barbwire. They all start to beat on Sean Jones, even the woman, until several security guards breaks it up.
Misfit: Are You Sure You Wanna Be In This Death Match Tournament? Cuz if you do, you may not live to see the end of the month.
Misfit and his friends walk away as we head back to the arena.
Randy Boggs: Who were those men, King?
King Royce: Misfit's friends?
Randy Boggs: I meant, do you know their specific names?
King Royce: Uh, no.
Randy Boggs: Ok then, we can start our main event, because the tables are being set up, three-high, and the ring is ready to be lifted once the wrestlers come out.
DEVILZ
DARKSIDE and JAPAN AIR vs. SOUTH OF THE BORDER
King of the Hill Match
"One More Time" by Daft Punk starts to play and out walks Tito and Papi of South of the Border. They get cheers, even though this is their first match ever. Papi and Tito jump into the ring as "One More Time" fades out. A cool mix of "Welcome to the Jungle" by Guns N Roses and "Highway to Hell" by AC/DC kicks up and out walks Devilz Darkside and Japan Air. They walk towards the ring, and climb in. All six men look around at the stacks and stacks of tables, when the ring starts to move upward. South of the Border doesn't waist anytime, both jumping Devilz Darkside and Japan Air from behind as they look at the tables. Tito whips Jubei to the ropes, and dropkicks him down. Kensi grabs Tito from behind, but he kicks him low, and hits a stunner! Papi dropkicks both members of Devilz Darkside, then does it again. He knocks Devilz Messenger onto the ring apron, and hits a hurricanranna on Hellz Angel. The ref settles everything down when the ring comes to a stop 25 feet above the floor. Hellz Angel starts out with Papi.
Randy Boggs: The first of it's kind in the GFWA!
King Royce: This is going to be so awesome!
Papi and Angel lock up. Angel tosses Papi to the ground, but he jumps back up. Angel tosses him down again, and again Papi pops up. Angel swings at Papi, who ducks and dropkicks Angel in the knee! Papi does it again! Papi with a chop block! Angel is back up again though. Tito is in and South of the Border dropkicks the same knee knocking him down! Papi with a single-leglock! Papi tags in Tito and they both stomp away at the leg. Papi back in and they whip Angel to the ropes. Double dropkick to each of Angel's knees! Papi with a lionsault on Angel, as Tito hits a guillotine legdrop from the top rope!!! Papi whips Angel into the corner, and he stomps away at his leg. Papi places Angel's leg on the rope, and kicks at his hamstring. Papi places Angel's another leg on the other rope, leaving him wide open. Papi backs up, and charges at Angel. Papi dropkicks Angel in the crotch!! Angel falls out of his position, and Papi tags in Tito. Tito drabs Angel a little out of the corner and hits a DDT. Angel hits a springboard moonsault off the bottom rope! Another one off the middle rope!! Tito goes up top and goes for a moonsault, but Angel is up and catches him. Powerslam by Angel!! He limps to the corner and tags in Jubei. Jubei in and whips Tito to the ropes. Tito ducks the clothesline, and hits a cross body. Tito and Jubei up, and Jubei hits a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker to stop him! Jubei picks up Tito and whips him into the corner. Some knife-edged chops from Jubei. Jubei starts to lay in some kicks to Tito's chest, then whips him to the ropes. Spin kick takes Tito down! Jubei tags in Devilz Messenger. DM clotheslines the hell out of Tito!! DM whips Tito to the ropes and takes him down with a big boot!! DM picks up Tito and lifts him up over his head! DM goes to toss Tito over the top rope and all the way down through three tables!! Papi comes of the top with a missle dropkick!! DM drops Tito. Papi grabs DM in a front facelock position and runs to the corner. Acid drop by Papi!!!!! DM back up against the ropes. Papi and Tito with stereo superkicks!!! DM flips over the top rope, but lands on the apron!! Tito and Papi climb different corners, and hits stereo superkicks on DM!!!! Devilz Messenger goes sailing off the apron and crashes through three tables below!!!!! Holy Shit chant breaks out!
Randy Boggs: My god! Devilz Messenger is the first man eliminated!
King Royce: That was one hell of a fall! And I loved it!
Kensi comes in and clotheslines Papi over the top rope, and onto the apron. He whips Tito to the ropes, and hits a beautiful dropkick. Kensi picks Tito up and hits a snap suplex! Kensi goes up top, but Papi crotches him! Papi climbs up and tries to suplex Kensi off the top and through the tables below. Kensi blocks however, and almost knocks Papi off with some rights. Tito runs over and runs up the corner, and catches Kensi with a hurricanranna off the top rope!! Tito picks Kensi up and whips him to the ropes. Back elbow knocks Kensi down. Tito goes up top, and hits a big frog splash!!!! Tito picks up Kensi and tries to throw him out of the ring. Kensi holds onto the ropes. Tito then connects with some stiff chops, and whips Kensi. Kensi reverses, holds onto Tito's arm, and pulls him into an overhead release belly to belly suplex. Kensi tags in Jubei. Jubei in and hits a Death Valley Driver on Tito!! Jubei up, and gets hit with a corkscrew cross body by Papi! Papi whips Jubei to the ropes. Jubei ducks the clothesline and takes Papi down with a spinning heel kick. Papi is quickly up though, and is taken back down by Jubei with a superkick! Tito back up and runs into a drop toe hold from Jubei! Tito back up and Jubei grabs him from behind. Dragon suplex by Jubei!! Jubei whips Tito into the corner and sets him on the top turnbuckle. Papi comes back, and Jubei whips him to another corner. Up top we go. Splash Mountain from Jubei on Papi!!!! Jubei bounces up quickly and goes back over to Tito! He goes for a Splash Mountain on Tito! Tito reverses out, and Jubei turns. Hurricanranna off the top by Tito!!! Jubei falls 25 feet and crashes through three tables!!!! Tito is hanging onto the apron!!! Kensi back in and starts to stomp on Tito's hands. Papi grabs him from behind and hits a Waistlock suplex! Papi whips Kensi into the corder and hits a rolling clothesline! Tornado DDT by Papi!! Papi whips Kensi across the ring and into another corner! Papi goes for another Tornado DDT, but Kensi holds onto Papi, and tosses him over the top rope and through the tables below!!! Holy Shit!!
Randy Boggs: It's down to the Tag Team champions against Tito, who's still hanging onto the ledge.
King Royce: He's going to fall at any moment.
Hellz Angel walks across the apron and starts to stomp on Tito's hands. Tito reaches up and pulls Angel down on his ass. Angel quickly climbs into the ring. Tito pulls himself up, and slingshots in with a clothesline to Angel!! Tito off the ropes and hits a flying clothesline, but he can't knock the big man down! Tito off the ropes again and hits Angel with a cross body. Tito tries the same move and Angel catches him! Backbreaker by Angel!! At the bottom, Papi is starting to climb back up. He's stopped to rest on a stack of tables. Kensi runs to the ropes, past Angel and Tito, and leaps over the top rope and nails Papi with a senton suicida through the tables!!!!! MY GOD!!! HOLY FUCKIN' SHIT CHANT!! Kensi is holding his neck below. In the ring, Angel whips Tito to the corner. He runs up and hits a triple spingboard head scissors takedown! Tito runs back to the corner and hits the Tiajuana Jam[triple springboard legdrop]!!!!! Tito picks up Angel and lifts him onto the top turnbuckle, albeit slowly, since he's so big. Tito turns Angel so he facing outward, and looking down at the tables. Tito climbs up and goes for another top rope hurricanranna that eliminated DM. Angel blocks it and nails the Death Drop[top rope powerbomb suicida]!!!!!! Hellz Angel eliminates Tito to win!! "Highway to Hell" plays as all six men lie motionless on the ground, and the crowd going nuts.
Randy Boggs: Fuck a pig after rolling around in the mud on a hot day!! That was awesome!!
King Royce: Fuck yeah!!
Randy Boggs: But folks, we are out of time! We'll see you next Monday for The Danger Zone, where we go head to head with Raw and the final Nitro possibly EVER!! Bye everyone!!!
King Royce: To quote Max Danger and/or Jay.... SNOOGANS!!
The camera focuses on the carnage on the ground that is Devilz Darkside, Japan Air, and South of the Border. We fade to black.