::[ WRESTLECLASH I RESULTS ]::

Saturday, April 28th, 2001
United Center in Chicago, Illinois

johnny street[champion] VERSUS lou nattik
[hell match for the gfwa jr. and gwf world titles]

::[The crowd stirs and murmurs in anticipantion as the huge cell begins to lower from the ceiling and several workers toss various weapons around ringside, such as baseball bats, street signs, garbage cans, kendo sticks. The hell comes to a halt a few feet above the ring, and you can see some bags hanging from it's top. Bags filled with tacks, broken glass, and other unsafe things are exactly what's dangling from the roof. You can smell the gas fumes from the cage. The workers finally finish up and leave ringside when "Until The End of Time" by 2pac hits. Through the curtains walks the Vice President of the GFWA and referee of this match, Jostrodomus. The fans immediately begin to boo. Joz is sanes crutches tonight, but still has a noticable limp. Joz gets halfway down the ramp, when some fans starts to jaw with him. Joz just fires back and threatens to hit him. The fan just laughs it off as Joz climbs into the ring. He looks out at all the weapons laying around the ring and then at the massive cage.]::

Randy Boggs: There's our special ref for this match, and I don't see him calling this one fairly.

King Royce: Oh come on, he's the perfect ref! He'll call it exactly down the middle.

::[Joz leans back in the corner as "No Shelter" by Rage Against The Machine hits. The crowd jumps to their feet as Lou Nattik walks onto the small ramp. He walks down the ramp and stops in the aisle. They roar of the crowd grows louder. He starts to actually SLAP HANDS WITH THE FANS!!! Lou jumps onto the apron and yells to the crowd, who cheers even louder. Lou then steps into the ring and jumps to the middle turnbuckle, causing the crowd to cheer LOUDER. Lou jumps off the ropes, and stares down Joz in the corner. Joz just looks on with disinterest.]::

Randy Boggs: Look at that lack of respect from Joz.

King Royce: Why should Joz respect Lou? Joz is a goddamn former World champion and Vice President of this company.

Randy Boggs: Yes, and by being a man in power, he should respect ALL the talent... even Max does that.

King Royce: And that's his one flaw.

::[Lou tests the ropes, then soaks in the massiveness of the cage. He starts to hop around and pop his neck when "Wake Up" by Rage Against the Machine blasts, and the crowd boos but still gets on their feet. Signs are lifted, people's middle fingers are out, and trash wrappers are thrown. Rockin' Johnny Street slowly walks out, but stops at the top of the ramp. He starts to lift the two belts he has, the GWF World Title and the GFWA Junior Title. He nods his head and lowers the belt. Finally Johnny starts to walk under the cage, which will soon be set ablaze. The boos and music fade out, as if in unision. Johnny jumps into the ring and meets Lou in the center of the ring. Joz takes Johnny's belts and hand them to the time keeper, who he tells to ring the bell. The bell sounds as the crowd is completely silent and the cage lowers into place. Lou and Johnny continue to stare each other down as the cage is set ablaze! The crowd roars as the two competitors look around at the flaming cage.]::

Randy Boggs: Look at the intensity in each man's eyes. This is going to be one hell of a battle.

King Royce: Man, look at the flames. I feel for both men.

::[Both men then look back at each other, and lock up in the center of the ring. This one is underway. Street backs Lou into the corner. Lou turns it around and he backs Street into a different corner. Street then changes positions again and breaks the hold. Right hand from Street is blocked by Lou. Lou nails Street with his own right. Street fires off another one, but Lou blocks and nails Street with a big time right hand. Lou then tosses Street in the corner and takes a shot at Street. Street blocks his right, and nails Lou with his own. Street blocks another Lou right and connects with one of his own again. Street whips Lou into the corner. Street then climbs to the middle turnbuckle and starts to punch away at Lou. The crowd counts along with each punch. ONE... TWO... THREE.... FOUR..... FIVE.... SIX.... SEVEN.... Lou carries Street from the corner, and hits the inverted atomic drop! Lou then goes to the ropes, and attempts the lariat. Street ducks and hooks Lou up for the backslide! 1.... kick out! Lou and Street quickly back to their feet, and stare each other down again.]::

Randy Boggs: Kind of a feeling out process there, King.

King Royce: Yeah, just basic stuff to get the jitters out.

::[Street and Lou start to circle each other again as Joz looks on. Street and Lou with a hard collar and elbow tie up. Street quickly gets Lou in the side headlock. Street grinds it, before Lou pushes him to the ropes. Street bounces off the ropes, and Lou drops to the mat. Street steps over him and continues to the ropes. Street goes under the Lou leapfrog. Lou rolls onto his back and attempts the monkey flip, but Street dives over Lou's legs, and rolls to his feet. Lou rolls over and gets back to his feet. Street bumps Lou then runs to the ropes. Armdrag from Lou and into the armbar. Street with the Owen Hart roll and flip out, and gets Lou with an arm wringer and into the hammerlock. Lou searches for a way from the hold, firsth the legs, but no dice. He grabs onto Street's head, but he pulls it away. Lou settles on the elbows, and elbows free. Lou runs to the ropes, as Street shakes his head. Street then gets the knee up, but Lou flips through, hooks Street's leg and rolls him over. 1... kick out... and Street is back up.]::

Randy Boggs: Lots of fast-paced action so far, King.

King Royce: Yeah, neither man is getting the upperhand yet.

::[Street misses the clothesline again, and Lou attempts a back suplex. Street flips out and onto his feet. He grabs Lou about the waist, and they rush to the ropes. Lou holds onto the ropes, and Street rolls back. Street to his feet and ducks the charging Lou's lariat. Lou continues to the ropes, and slides between Street's legs. Lou with a full nelson on Street. Street drops down, hooks his legs under Lou's armpits and pulls him over. Lou rolls through and gets to his feet. He powers Street up, who flips up and grabs onto Lou's head. Street pulls Lou over by his head and into the side headlock. Lou quickly gets Street in a headscissors. Street kips up and out of the hold and we get another face off with Lou. The crowd loves the action so far, and even Joz is impressed.]::

Randy Boggs: Awesome wrestling thus far, and even Joz is impressed.

King Royce: He should be, because I don't think he could do HALF the stuff these two men do.

Randy Boggs: We shall see in our second main event in our double main event.

::[Street and Lou start to circle each other again. Street holds his arm up for the test of strength. This surprises Lou. The fans are chanting for him to not do it. Lou, of course, does it anyway. They get one hand locked, then lock the second. They come together, and Street powers Lou down. Lou's head touches the mat before he powers back up. He then turns the tides and powers Street down, all the way to his back. Lou then stradles Street, with the hands still locked, creating the pin. 1... 2... Street rolls backwards and turns the arms around. He has Lou in pain before Lou kicks one of the hands free. He takes a swing at Street, who ducks and slides between Lou's legs. He sets Lou up for the pumphandle slam. Street lifts Lou up, and he flips over and on his feet. Lou with a roll-up, but Street rolls through and powers Lou up. Lou grabs onto Street's head and attempts the bulldog. Street counters and goes for the back suplex. Lou spins out and onto his feet. Lou goes to the ropes, ducks Street's clothesline. Lou jumps to the middle rope, springboards off and attempts a hurricanranna on Street! Street counters and falls backwards, causing Lou to come down on the top rope throat-first.]::

Randy Boggs: Ouch! That's gotta hurt.

King Royce: I'll say. That's ropes aren't very forgiving.

::[Street walks over to Lou, who's now up against the ropes, and delivers a hard knife-edged chop. Street with another one, just so the fans will "Whoo!". Street then whips Lou to the ropes. Big lariat from Street knocks Lou down. Lou rolls to the corner, and pulls himself up. Street walks over and lays in the boots. Street lifts Lou up and sets him onto the top turnbuckle. Street climbs up and sets Lou up for a superplex. Lou with some punches to Street's stomach. Street almost falls from the turnbuckle. Lou grabs Street's head and sets up for the super DDT!! Street blocks the attempt. Street comes back with some right hands. He and Lou are trading blows atop the top turnbuckle. Lou finally knocks Street off. Lou stands on the top turnbuckle and sets up for something. Street jumps up and dropkicks Lou off the top rope and to the outside!! Street gets back to his feet and nails Lou with a top con hilo! Street rolls Lou back into the ring and throws Nattik into the ropes, and then nails him with a standing drop kick. Jostrodomus grabs a wooden baseball bat and hands it to Johnny.]::

Randy Boggs: I knew it! I knew Joz wouldn't call this fair.

King Royce: He IS calling it fair... he's just putting a bat into play, just to make it more interesting.

Randy Boggs: You are one sick man.

King Royce: Thank you.

::[Street waits for Lou to get to his feet. Lou does and turns around. WHAM! Street nails Lou in the midsection with the baseball bat! CRACK! Street brings the bat down across Lou's back! Lou falls to his knees, and Street drives the end of the bat into Lou's face, knocking him on his back! Lou is starting to bleed from the forehead as Street brings him to his feet. More hard rights from Street before whipping him to the ropes. Lou holds onto the ropes, as Street lowers his head. Lou can't capitalize, so Street charges Lou. Lou flips Street up and over the top rope. THUD! Street lands hard on the outside. Lou regains his composure and climbs onto the apron. Street rolls onto his stomach and gets to his knees. Asai moonsault from Lou, but Street moves!! Lou splats on the floor, as Street pulls himself up against the apron. Street is having trouble breathing because of the burning cage just a few feet away from him. Street grabs Lou by the hair and lifts him to his feet. Street goes to whip Lou into the flaming cage, but Lou counters and takes Street down with a short-arm clothesline! Lou falls to his knees.]::

Randy Boggs: Both men are starting to morph this match into something other than wrestling.

King Royce: Good! I want to see someone catch fire!!!

Randy Boggs: Sicko!

::[Lou crawls over to the steps and pulls himself up. Street rolls over and gets to his knees. He stands all the way up, and charges at Lou. Drop toe hold from Lou and Street's head bounces off the ring steps! Lou picks up a shovel and swings it at Street. Street rolls out of the way and under the ring, as Lou nails the steps with the shovel. Lou drops the shovel then looks over the ring. Lou is then smacked in the face with something, and falls backwards. His head is just inches from the flames as Street pushes a ladder halfway out from under the ring. Street picks up Lou and leads up up the steps. Street powerbombs Lou off the steps ano onto the ladder! Street immediately jumps down and picks up Lou. Street tosses Lou back into the ring. Street bends down and grabs the ladder. He starts to pull it out, but is running out of room with the cage. Street stands behind the ladder and gradually starts to pull it out from under the ring. Lou is back on his feet inside the ring. He's holding his back and looks up at the ladder. Lou runs across the ring and hits a somersault pancha on the ladder! The ladder traps Street underneath it, as Lou rolls and almost goes into the flaming cage. Lou just pushes off quickly with his feet and rolls over onto his stomach, and holds his back in pain. A huge "Holy Shit!" chant breaks out.]::

Randy Boggs: What a suicidial move from Lou Nattik!

King Royce: That man is not sane.

::[Lou starts to crawl up the steps. He gets to the apron and climbs to the top turnbuckle. Senton bomb off the top rope from Lou! Street pushes the ladder up and rolls out from under it. Lou crashes into the ladder and just lays there! Another "Holy Shit!" chant rings out. Street rolls over and gets to his feet. Street picks up Lou and rams him into the flaming cage! Street grabs Lou and whips him into the ring apron... no, Street pulls him back and face-first into the flaming cage! Lou falls to the ground, and Street picks him back up. Street lifts Lou up and rams him face-first into the cage again! Lou is starting to bleed even more now, and is even starting to get black from all fire and smoke. Street lifts Lou up by his hair. Lou then gets a boost of adrenaline and forces Street backwards and into the flaming cage. Again he does it and again! Street's back is burnt! Lou finally just collapses as does Street. Joz looks down at both men and is in shock of what they are doing.]::

Randy Boggs: Lou Nattik killed himself with that risky senton move, and Street made him pay.

King Royce: Yeah, but Lou just got that boost of adrenaline and gave a little pain back to Street.

::[Street is the first to his feet and holds his back. It's on fire, figuratively, as he bends over and lifts Lou to his feet. Street rolls Lou back into the ring, and grabs the ladder. Street sets the ladder up against the cage, and climbs back onto the apron. Joz hands Street a kendo stick, which he uses to whallop Lou over the head with. Street then jams it into Lou's gut, then sets him up for a suplex. Lou blocks and suplexes Street back into the ring. Lou is still down as Street gets to his feet and gets a trash can from Joz. Street waits and waits for Lou to get to his feet. Finally he does and Street nails Lou with the trash can! Street covers.... 1..... 2.... thr.... kick out!! Street sets the trash can onto Lou then runs to the ropes. Street springboards off with a moonsault! The Rocker! The Rocker!! Street holds his stomach in pain then removes the trashcan. He stops to catch his breath and push back the pain. Lateral press from Street.... 1.... 2... thre.... KICK OUT!!! The crowd is going nuts!!]::

Randy Boggs: Lou just kicked out of the Rocker!! Amazing!!

King Royce: How did he do that!? After all the punishment and then the Rocker, yet he still kicked out. Incredible.

::[Street can't believe. He gets in Joz's face about the speed of the count. Joz just shrugs his shoulders and says he did all he could. Street just huffs and walks back over to Lou. Street grabs Lou by the hair, and gets low blowed out of desperation by Lou! Street staggers around, and Lou rolls him up in a small package! 1.... 2... kick out!! Street quickly back up and kicks Lou dead in the face! Street grabs Lou and whips him into the corner. Street picks up the trash can and charges at Lou. Lou kicks the trash can back into Street's face!! Street falls onto his back, as Lou falls to his ass in the corner. Street slowly gets to his feet and shakes the cobwebs out of his head. Lou is up in the corner and jumps to the middle turnbuckle. Lou with a dropkick from the middle rope to take Street back down. Lou is slow to his feet and picks up the trash can. Street is up and is whacked in the head with the trash can. Lou puts the trash can over Street's head. Lou grabs a steel chair and goes to nail Street. Joz grabs the chair from Lou. Lou and Joz get into a small arguement. Street hears where the voices are coming from and charges. Lou moves and Street squashes Joz in the corner! Lou grabs Street and back suplexes him over the top rope and into the ladder propped up against the cage!!!!]::

Randy Boggs: Jesus christ! Lou just killed Street!!

King Royce: You thinking what I'm thinking?

Randy Boggs: New Jr. Champion?

King Royce: Yep.

::[Lou falls to one knee, still feeling the affects of the damage he's suffered. He then goes outside and brings another ladder into the ring. Lou sets it up against the ropes, then slides back out of the ring. Lou pulls a table out from under the ring and sets it up on the outside. Lou peels Street off the other ladder, removes the trash can from his head and lays him across the table. Lou jumps back onto the apron, then into the ring. He stands at the base of the ladder and takes a deep breath. The fans are on their feet anticipanting what Lou is about to do. Lou climbs up the ladder, taking his time and thinking about what he's about to do. Not smart. Lou gets one rung from the top and looks down at Street. He then looks upward and takes a deep breath. Lou then leaps over the top rung and goes flying down towards Street. Street rolls off the table, and Lou's guillotine leg drop will eat nothing but table. Lou crashes though the table as another "Holy Shit!" chant begins.]::

Randy Boggs: Holy FUCKIN' Shit is more like it!

King Royce: That was damn awesome!

::[Street gets to his feet and staggers around on the outside. He is having trouble staying upright as his back is dead. Street rolls back into the ring. He slowly climbs the ladder and grabs one of the bags dangling from the ceiling. Street opens the bag and pours the contains all over the ring. The ring is now covered in TACKS!!! The crowd is buzzing after that. Street then looks down at Lou in the broken table. Street slowly climbs back down the ladder, stopping at the top rope. Street springboards off the top rope and nails Lou with a shooting star press!!!!! "Holy Shit!" chant breaks out again. Street picks up the limp-bodied Lou and rolls him into the ring. Street with a brainbuster on Lou! 1.... 2.... thre... kick out!!! The crowd goes nuts! Street whips Lou into the corner and hammers away. Street lifts Lou up onto the top turnbuckle. Street climbs up as well and sets up for the superplex. Lou counters and nails Street with a Super DDT on the tacks!!!! Both men are down!!]::

Randy Boggs: Holy shit, King!! Lou planted Street with the super ddt onto the tacks!!

King Royce: These guys are insane!

::[Both men are SLOWLY stirring. Street is the first to his feet, and grabs the ladder. Street sets the ladder in the center of the ring and sees Lou still down. Street starts to climb the ladder to attempt another high risk move. Suddenly a stupid fan in the front row jumps over the railing and catches fire!! Street and Joz are distracted by this. Lou gets to his feet and staggers about. Lou then begins to climb the other side, as Street is looking the other way. Finally Street turns back around and is nailed with a right from Lou. Street almost falls off the ladder, but keeps a grip on the ladder with one arm. Street gets back on and is nailed again. Street comes back with his own right, as Joz is watching the fan as some arena workers rush over with fire extinguisers. One tries to use his both nothing but air shoots out. But he sprays it towards the cage and it calls a small fire ball to shoot off and get Joz. Joz tried to block it, but couldn't. Joz stumbles around, and bumps into the ladder. It starts to shake but Lou and Street keep it balanced. Joz then staggers back against the ropes, then trips over a steel chair and falls into the ladder. The ladder begins to tip, despite Lou and Street trying to balance it. Lou and Street go flying over the top rope and into the cage!!!!! Joz falls to the mat on the tacks. Another "Holy Shit!" chant from the fans.]::

Randy Boggs: I thought they were going to break through the cage!

King Royce: Yeah, and then they would have landed on us.

::[Neither man is moving as Joz lies motionless in the ring. Suddenly the cage begins to rise. The fans are confused as to what's up. Paramedics rush into the ring and grab Joz. They pull him out of the ring and start to check on him at ringside. The cage then starts to come back down with the paramedics inside. The camera shifts over to the cage operation table, and we see The Butcher smiling, then walking away.]::

Randy Boggs: The Butcher has trapped Joz in! There's no way for the paramedics to help Joz is there's something serious.

King Royce: Fuckin' bastard Commissioner.

::[The paramedics wash Joz's eyes out with water, and start to conduct tests on his vision. On the other side of the ring, Lou and Street are still out cold. Slowly but surely both men start to move. Street is the first up again, but falls back against the steps. Lou barely gets up with the use of the ring apron. They stagger around, then come together on the outside. They start exchanging rights until Lou gains the upperhand. Lou is unloading on Street, then whips him towards the cage. Street slides to avoid it, and goes charging back at Lou. Lou flips Street over and onto the ring steps!! Street bounces off and rolls inches from the flaming cage. Lou staggers over and picks up Street. Lou rams Street into the ring steps before grabbing a steel chair. Lou whacks Street's head with the steel chair, drawing blood for the first time on Street. Lou unfolds the chair and sets it on the outside. Lou lifts Street up onto the ring steps, and prepares to toss him off onto the chair. Street counters and hits Lou with a tornado DDT on the chair!! Both men are down again! Street is the first up, but falls back down due to his back. He leans against the steps, just taking a break. Lou is still out, as the paramedics continue to check on Joz.]::

Randy Boggs: What a battle, King.

King Royce: But what is it going to take to end it?

::[Street tries to get up once again and does. He grabs Lou and rolls him back into the ring. Street sets the ladder up in the corner, then tries to stretch and improve the condition of his back a little. He picks up Lou and gets set to ram him into the ladder. Street grabs him back the back of his head and starts to rush towards the corner. Lou grabs onto Street's head, runs up the ladder, spins around and nails him with the Psychoticutter[various diamond cutter variations]!!! Lou with the cover, but Joz is still on the outside! The crowd counts to ten, but it doesn't matter. Lou rolls on the tacks and out of the ring. Lou grabs Joz and tosses him back into the ring. Lou with the lateral press on Street. Joz is slow but finally starts to count. 1...... 2...... thre.... KICK OUT!!!! The crowd is in shock, as is Lou!]::

Randy Boggs: Wow!! Johnny Street kicked out of the Psychoticutter!!

King Royce: I can't express just how amazing that was.

::[The paramedics jump back into the ring and attend to Joz. Lou gets a steel chair and bashes the paramedics over the head!!! Lou tosses him out of the ring. Lou with a beautiful butterfly powerbomb on Street! 1...... 2.... thre.... KICK OUT!! Lou whips Street to the ropes and hits a spinebuster! Lou goes to the corner with the ladder. He climbs to the top rope and rides the ladder down onto Street!! 1.... 2... thr... Kick out!!! Lou sets the ladder on the mat and slams Street onto it. Lou heads back up top. This senton bomb connects!!! 1.... 2..... 3... NO! NO! Street got his shoulder up at the last second. Lou is getting frustrated. Lou unfolds the steel chair and places it in the center of the ring. Lou sits Street into the chair then climbs onto the apron. He is holding the ladder then jumps to the top rope. Lou essentially does a cross body on the ladder and rams it into Street, knocking him out of the chair!!! Lou rolls around holding his stomach, then finally crawls over and drapes himself across Street. 1..... 2..... THR.... KICK OUT!!!! Lou jumps up furious! He is favoring his stomach as he sets the ladder up in the corner. Lou picks up Street and whips him into the ladder. Street stumbles away from the ladder after impact, then gets dropkicked back into it!! Lou rolls Street up!! 1.... 2.... THRE... KICK OUT!!!! Lou is extremely frustrated! Lou picks up the steel chair and smacks Street in the face with it!! Street falls onto the apron. Lou grabs Street and front suplexes him to the outside!! Lou grabs the ladder and starts to climb.]::

Randy Boggs: Lou is really taking it to Street, but he can't keep him down.

King Royce: What's he doing now though?

::[Lou reaches the top and pulls off another bag. He accidently rips the bag and broken glass falls to the canvas. Lou gets hit near the eye with a rather large piece and staggers a bit. That caught him by surprise and he hangs onto the cord attached to the roof of the cage. Lou then accidently tips over the ladder and is hanging some twenty feet above the ring. The crowd is roaring now, as Lou is not in a good position. Street is still out on the outside, as Joz pours the last of the medics' water into his eyes. Joz then looks up and sees Lou hanging from the cord. Joz grabs the ladder and sets it up just out of Lou's reach, for kicks. Joz then sees Street on the outside and jumps out. Joz comes down wrong on his leg and collapses in pain. His cursing wakes Street up, who looks at him. Joz just points up, and Street looks up. Street starts to smile as he SLOWLY gets to his feet. Street staggers around and almost walks into the flaming cage. Street then gains his composure and climbs onto the apron. Street climbs to the top turnbuckle, then onto the ladder. He looks up at Lou and the smile gets even bigger. Street starts to climb up when Lou starts to swing himself. Lou is trying to kick the ladder over. Street is near the top as the ladder almost tips over. Joz jumps up to try and balance the ladder, but his knee gives out. Street makes it to the top despite it's rockiness and stands on the top. He almost loses his balance and then Lou kicks the ladder over. Street leaps and grabs onto Lou's leg! The excitement level is through the roof now. Street and Lou are dangling there.]::

Randy Boggs: This can't end good. Street and Lou are twenty feet above the ring, and no place to go but down onto tacks and glass.

King Royce: Yeah, cool isn't it?

::[Street reaches up and grabs Lou by the waistband on his pants. Street pulls himself up, as not to take the brunt of the fall if they actually do. Lou then starts to kick at Street. They swinging now with Lou kicking at Street's stomach and kneeing him in the face. Street loses his grip, but grabs onto Lou's feet. Street is dangling from Lou's feet! Lou starts to squirm and Street loses his grip. Street falls twenty feet with a loud THUD on the tacks and broken glass! The crowd is going crazy as Lou struggles to keep his firm grip on the cord. Slowly he begins to slip down. Lou is hanging from a thin thread. Lou falls down right next to Street with another loud THUD. The fans go silent as both men lie on the mat.]::

Randy Boggs: Both men feel twenty feet onto sharp tacks and broken glass! And now both men, who have given it their all tonight, are down.

King Royce: Just awesome effort from both men, and it looks to be coming to an end, which is a shame.

::[Neither man is moving, but rather just breathing heavily. Joz slides into the ring and dragging himself across it. He gets between Street and Lou and sees them both down. Joz turns over and sits watching to see if either man moves. Neither do, but continue to look up at the burning roof of the cage. Finally Lou almost sits up. He gets an inch up and falls back down. He turns his head and sees Street lying there. Lou then pulls his knees back into his chest ready to roll over. Street pops up and pins him down. Joz is shocked and jumps over. 1.... 2.... 3!!! Street wins? Lou kicks out after the fact, and is in a state of shock. He just falls back as does Street.]::

Randy Boggs: Whoa! That came out of no where!

King Royce: But Johnny Street has done it! He has retained both titles.

Randy Boggs: And in an AWESOME match to boot.

King Royce: I'd have to agree. Just a great matchup.

Randy Boggs: And guess what?

King Royce: What?

Randy Boggs: We still have one match left.

::[The flaming cage is being put out as Johnny Street and Lou Nattik slowly get to their feet after this amazing and painful match. Johnny celebrates a tiny bit, but doesn't have a whole lot of energy, and just goes up to Nattik. The two stare for a little while, and then finally they shake hands. Lou starts to exit the ring, as Joz hands Street a chair. Street NAILS Lou Nattik in the back of the head with the chair. Now Street gets a microphone.]::

Johnny Street: Lou, you wasted my time in this match. Now I wasted you! You wanted to get that match with me, that one on one match, and you got it. And I showed you, and everyone else, why you should think before you challenge the Rockin' One.

::[The cage is being lifted when "Wake Up" by Rage Against the Machine starts up as Johnny Street gets both of his titles and walks out, as the crowd boos, and Lou slowly starts to get to his knees.]::

Randy Boggs: Great sportsmanship, Johnny, ya jerk!

King Royce: He didn't like Lou before the match, why should he like him afterwards?

Randy Boggs: He could at least show he respected him.

King Royce: He did, he took him out before Lou could do the same to him. That's respecting him, in Johnny's own way.

Randy Boggs: Whatever.

::[The scene shifts to a bar in downtown Chicago. The Jolly Potter, Neophytou, Abigail Doyle and Pandora Box-Grainger are all dressed smartly in one of the local drinking establishments. Abigail and Pandora start to play wrestle, much to the amusement of a fairly drunk Potter and Neo, who has certainly come out of his shell in the past week. Neophytou starts doing some impressions.]::

Neophytou: Hey Pandora, you're not the only one who can do impressions. Who's this?\

::[Neo puts on a fairly good Max Danger voice.]::

Neophytou: You're fired! No wait, my wife's a slut who's been banged by most of the GFWA staff.

::[The four all laugh, they all know it's Max Danger Neo's impersonated.]::

Jolly Potter: Hey wait, I can sing too.

::[Potter sings in an excruciating bad voice.]::

Jolly Potter: *singing* We're simply the best
Better than all the rest.
*normal voice* What's up?

::[The other's faces have contorted in pain.]::

Abigail Doyle: You are, quite frankly, shit.

::[Everyone laughs as the camera fades out and back to the arena.]::

Randy Boggs: Looks like Potter and the others are having a grand ole time.

King Royce: Yeah, and at Max's expense.

Randy Boggs: Well, they did beat Max, so it makes sense.

King Royce: Whatever, back to what I was doin' ealier.

Randy Boggs: Uh... right. It's now time for the second match in our double main event! These two men have been through a lot. The Butcher, fresh off being named the new Commissioner, signed Joz into the main event at Y2K1 Meltdown as a mystery man. Joz came away with the World title, and the shenanigans ran Chaos out of the company. The Butcher was wanting revenge on Chaos, who beat The Butcher for the title earlier. Joz then flushed all that shit down the crappy, but becoming the Vice President and effectively putting the most prestigous title in wrestling history in limbo. Now the Commish and VP bang heads one final time.

the butcher VERSUS chaos
[regular rules match]

::[The fans are all buzzing as the ring has been cleared and the match logo comes onto the G-Tron. Suddenly, "Nutshell" by Alice in Chains starts to play. The crowd jumps to their feet and start to do the Butcher chop. The Butcher comes through the curtains, with his bag of goodies over his shoulder, just like Santa Claus. The Butcher stops at the top of the mini-ramp and holds the bag high into the air, drawing tons of cheers. The Butcher then heads towards the blood-soaked ring. He throws his bag of goodies into the ring, then pulls out another bag from under the ring. He rolls inside and holds the bag, as he awaits his opponent.]::

Randy Boggs: The Commissioner is here and looks ready to fight.

King Royce: But what's in that bag he pulled out from under the ring?

::["Nutshell" fades out, and "Until The End of Time" by 2pac starts up. The Vice President Jostrodomus comes out on crutches, and a patch over one eye. He gets booed out of the damn building. Joz stops in the middle of the aisle with a mic in hand. He starts to speak but the crowd won't let him.]::

Jostrodomus: SHUT UP!!!

::[An "Asshole!" chant starts up.]::

Jostrodomus: Butcher, as you can tell, I am in no condition to compete tonight. I...

::[The crowd starts a "Bullshit!" chant.]::

Jostrodomus: I reinjured my leg while reffing the Hell Match, and I cannot see out of my left eye. So, I don't think we'll be having this match tonight.

::[The crowd boos louder than they ever have before.]::

The Butcher: Joz, shut the hell up and get in this ring!

::[The crowd cheers.]::

Jostrodomus: There isn't anything I'd like more than to kick you ass, but it can't happen tonight. Not in my condition.

The Butcher: Look here....

::[The Butcher is cut off by the sound of "Born of a Broken Man" playing over the speakers. The boos grow louder as the President walks through the curtains.]::

Max Danger: Now, I normally don't mess with you business, but this time it affects me. A Butcher-Joz match was promised to the fans to headline WrestleClash I. And whether you like it or not, Joz, you WILL compete tonight, and it will be right now!

::[Joz turns around to face Max as the fans actually cheer.]::

Jostrodomus: But look at me! I can't wre...

::[The Butcher attacks Joz from behind, knocking him to the ground, as Danger signals for the match to begin, before heading to the back. The Butcher grabs Joz and tosses him against the guardrail. The Butcher starts to unload on Joz with big rights. The Butcher then leads Joz up the aisle and onto the mini-ramp. The Butcher rams Joz into the G-Tron! The Butcher with a vertical suplex on Joz on the small stage. The Butcher turns Joz onto his stomach, and lifts up his leg. The Butcher drops Joz's leg onto the cold steel stage! The Butcher does it again, as the fans are loving it. The Butcher picks up Joz and hits a front suplex! The Butcher follows up by driving his own knee into Joz's leg. The Butcher with a knee breaker on Joz, then clotheslines him off the six-foot stage and onto the concrete floor. The Butcher jumps down and stalks after Joz as he tries to back away. The Butcher grabs Joz by the hair and brought to his feet. The Butcher lays into Joz with a big right, knocking him back down. The Butcher picks up Joz and whips him into the lighting equipment! The Butcher picks up a small light and cracks it over Joz's head, busting him open. The Butcher whips Joz into the guardrail, causing him to flip over and into the crowd!]::

Randy Boggs: The Butcher is completely dominating Joz here, King!

King Royce: Why did Danger have to do this?

::[The Butcher climbs over the railing himself and starts to stalk after Joz, who's crawling back towards the ring. The Butcher catches up to him, and pulls him to his feet. The Butcher gets Joz in a front face lock and just kicks away at Joz's bad leg. The Butcher then lifts up Joz and suplexes him down across the guardrail! The Butcher with a knee lift to knock Joz back at ringside! The Butcher climbs over the railing and picks up a steel chair. Joz pulls himself up onto the ring steps, and gets clobbered by a chairshot from The Butcher! The Butcher rolls Joz back into the ring and climbs in himself. The Butcher grabs the bag that's not his bag of goodies and spills its contains all over the corner section of the ring. It's TACKS.... again. The crowd loves it. The Butcher grabs Joz and brings him to his feet. The Butcher sets up for a piledriver on Joz, but Joz low blows The Butcher, and DDTs him on the tacks!!!]::

Randy Boggs: Ouch! The Butcher's head was driven into the tacks!

King Royce: Hells yeah!

::[Joz is slow to his one useful leg, and limps over to The Butcher. Joz with some rights then whips The Butcher into the corner. Joz semi-charges in with a clothesline! Joz kicks The Butcher once, but it's too much to keep the weight on his leg. Joz then whips The Butcher across the ring. The Butcher stumbles out of the corner, and Joz attempts a back suplex. Joz's leg can't support the leg and The Butcher falls on top of Joz! 1.... 2... kick out!!! The Butcher rolls over and grabs his bag of goodies. He pulls out a hair dryer! The Butcher goes at Joz with the hair dryer, but gets drop toe holded instead. Joz with a front face lock on The Butcher. The Butcher stands up and nails Joz in the stomach with some rights. The Butcher gets free and runs to the ropes. Sleeper applied by Joz!! The Butcher is fading fast.]::

Randy Boggs: Smart move by Joz to go to a more wrestling style, than trying to compete with The Butcher on an extreme level.

King Royce: Right, and this way he won't reinjured his leg.

::[Joz brings The Butcher down to the ground while still in the sleeper. The Butcher doesn't have much left, when his arm finally goes limp. The ref moves in and lifts The Butcher's arm up. He lets it go, and it falls back down to the canvas. The crowd starts to chant for The Butcher as the ref lifts his arm a second time. It falls limply to the mat again. The Butcher chant grows louder as the ref lifts The Butcher's arm one final time. The ref releases his hold on the arm, and let's it fall. It almost goes all the way down to the mat, but The Butcher brings it back up. There's new life inside of The Butcher who is quickly back to his feet. He nails Joz with one elbow to the gut... and another. One last time frees him. The Butcher runs to the ropes, and gets kneed in the stomach for his troubles. Joz with a reverse chinlock on The Butcher.]::

Randy Boggs: From one hold to another, Joz is looking good right now.

King Royce: That's why he is a former champion.

::[The Butcher quickly fights back up on out this and nails Joz in the stomach with more elbows. The Butcher runs to the ropes again, and Joz locks on another sleeper! The Butcher counters with a jawbreaker! Joz bounces backwards and against the ropes. The Butcher gets to his feet and charges at Joz. Joz flips The Butcher over the top rope and to the floor. The Butcher hits with a loud SPLAT as Joz turns around. Joz reaches into The Butcher's bag of goodies and pulls out a picture of.... Walter Matthau!? Joz just shakes his head and carries it with him onto the apron. The Butcher gets to his feet and turns around. Joz flies off the apron and breaks the picture over The Butcher's head, busting him open.]::

Randy Boggs: Walter Matthau has made The Butcher juice!

King Royce: That bastard!!!

Randy Boggs: He's dead, ya know?

King Royce: So, what's your point?

::[Joz is slow to his feet, er, foot, and grabs The Butcher. Joz rams him into the ring post. The Butcher bounces off and against the announce table. Joz limps over and starts to pound on The Butcher with some rights. Joz then removes the monitors and bashes The Butcher over the head with one. Joz lays The Butcher across the table, and hammers at him with some more rights. Joz walks over to the ring, and tries to climb onto the apron. His leg won't allow it. Joz walks over to the steps and climbs onto the apron. Joz walks to the center of the apron when The Butcher gets up. Joz sees this, but can't do anything about it. The Butcher grabs Joz and tosses him from the apron and through the announce table!!!! There goes his eye patch. We hear a scream for help come from under the table. King quickly starts to scream for help as well.]::

Randy Boggs: Hey, that's the guy everyone beat up for having a retarded sign!

King Royce: Yeah, and he was giving me a good time!!

Randy Boggs: Whoa! What!?

King Royce: Nothing!! Just save him!!

::[The Butcher walks over and is disgusted with King. The Butcher then pulls the helpless cock... er, man out from under the broken table. The Butcher then notices that Joz is helpless and climbs back onto the arpon. He pulls a video tape of Denise Lopez's latest film, and climbs to the top turnbuckle. The Butcher stalls at the top, just to hold up the tape for a quick plug. After a cheesy smile and thumbs up, The Butcher tosses the tape into the crowd and leaps from the top turnbuckle. Joz slowly rolls out of the way, as The Butcher nails a monitor with the flying elbow!! Joz almost actually rolled INTO the elbow.]::

Randy Boggs: Man, that can't be good. The Butcher's arm has to be broken after that.

King Royce: Idiot didn't even come close to hitting Joz.

::[Joz rolls until he gets to the ring steps, then pulls himself up. Joz limps around and notices The Butcher rolling around and holding his elbow. Joz grabs a steel chair and nails The Butcher in his injured elbow! Joz starts to unload on The Butcher with the steel chair. In defense, The Butcher kicks Joz in the knee. That only momentarily stops Joz's onslaught. Joz continues to bash The Butcher over the elbow with the steel chair. Finally Joz tosses the chair into the ring and lifts The Butcher up. Joz slams The Butcher into the ring post elbow first, then rolls him back into the ring. Joz slowly climbs in himself and unfolds the chair. He sets the chair up in the center of the ring and whips The Butcher to the ropes. Drop toe hold from Joz and The Butcher falls onto the chair, elbow first!! Cross arm breaker from Joz!!]::

Randy Boggs: This could be it, King!

King Royce: With the state that The Butchers elbow is in, then yeah.

::[The Butcher tries desperately to make the ropes. He gets close, but Joz just pulls him back to the center of the ring. The Butcher is screaming in pain. The Butcher desperately tries to make the ropes again, but still can't. He, however, grabs his bag of goodies. The Butcher pulls out a..... used condom! The Butcher just tosses that aside and pulls out something else. It's a.... blow whistle! The Butcher throws it at Joz, but it has no affect. He pulls out something else.... a krazy straw. He then tosses it at Joz, and gets him in his previous injured and now exposed eye!! Joz releases the hold and rolls around in pain, holding his eye. The Butcher gets to his feet, but only has use of one arm. The Butcher grabs Joz by the hair, and whips him to the ropes. Flapjack from The Butcher onto the still unfolded chair!]::

Randy Boggs: Ow!

King Royce: That's all you have to say.

::[The Butcher with the figure four leg lock on Joz!! No, Joz kicks The Butcher off and into the corner. The Butcher hits with his elbow. Joz pulls himself up and rams the steel chair into his stomach. The Butcher doubles over and Joz whacks him across the back. Joz then tosses the chair aside and climbs onto the second turnbuckle. He signals for a Tornado DDT onto the tacks. He has to turn around though. Joz gets in a few rights first, then gets headbutted in the groin! The Butcher grabs Joz and with all his strength gives him the Downtown Drop[sitout powerbomb] onto the tacks and the place explodes!!! The Butcher rolls away from Joz though, holding his arm. Finally The Butcher rolls back over and covers Joz with his one good arm. 1....... 2....... thre.... Johnny Street pulls the ref out of the ring. Street decks the ref as crowd starts to boo.]::

Randy Boggs: Damn Johnny Street! Damn him to hell!

King Royce: Johnny Street rules!!

::[Johnny is completely covered in blood and bandaged up. But he slides into the ring and nails The Butcher from behind. Johnny starts to dominate The Butcher in the corner, until he makes a small comeback. That doesn't go far as Devilz Darkside runs out and gives him the Hellraiser[double uranage] on the tacks!!! Devilz Darkside stomp away at The Butcher while Street goes to Joz's aid. Street helps him up, then joins Devilz Darkside in beating The Butcher. They whip him to the ropes, and The Butcher head gets caught!!! Joz grabs himself a mic and staggers over. He tells Devilz Darkside and Street to stop for a second.]::

Jostrodomus: The Butcher... how naive. You should know that I ALWAYS come into a match with a plan.

::[Joz then tosses the mic aside and joins Street and Devilz Darkside in beating on The Butcher. The ring is littered with trash until there's a huge eruption. Devilz Darkside and Joz turn to the entrance way. But Payne and Lou Nattik come to the ring from the crowd with steel chairs. They nail Johnny Street, who rolls out of the ring. Joz and Devilz Darkside turn around. Joz rolls out of the ring as Payne and Lou knock Devilz Darkside out. They then stare down Joz, Devilz Darkside, and Street before freeing The Butcher. The Butcher crawls over to the ropes with a mice in hand.]::

The Butcher: No, Joz, I never come into a match without a plan!

::[Payne and Lou Nattik hold their chairs high into the air as "Nutshell" kicks up, and the fans go nuts.]::

Randy Boggs: Looks like we have two new sets of alliances, King.

King Royce: Yeah, the Vice President, Tag Team Champions, and Jr. Champion on one side. And the Commissioner, the so-close-but can't obtain it-World Champion wannabe, and Street's personal bitch!

Randy Boggs: Well, however you put it, we are out of time. We'll see you next week for Saturday Night Rumble on the Disney Channel!!!

Saturday Night Rumble Card ]::

-- SPECIAL THANKS TO MISFIT, RICKY GREEN, JASON CORLETT, and J.J. $TUDD --