So ive been asked to write something down about some sort of topic for a new section of one of gerrid�s many excuses for not doing his work like he should, his website. Being not sure how to proceed due to the incredible pressure of doing his creation justice, I think I will focus on the ride I received a couple weekends ago to the undisclosed location of where my ride to freedom is parked.
So I�m walking down 11 and hoping for a ride to the woods so I don�t have to walk up that huge hill that we all dread lugging our bags up. Turns out I get lucky. I get a ride. The fact that I get a ride probably makes me complaining here kinda uncalled for, but oh well. I get a ride from col.moncure�s son, who is driving the colonel�s blue Volvo. So it comes to me that wait, we aren�t allowed to have cars�yet, the son of a battalion advisor, one who is know for adhering to the blue book like is was the king james, is allowing his son to drive an unauthorized vehicle in county. I mean more power to the kid, but at the same time, I see a very obvious double standard going on here. We�d get in trouble if we got caught right? So I guess since I took the ride and was saved a walk up that damn hill I cant complain, but at the same time�.i guess what I�m saying is, its fucked up. But really�what isn�t here?
FIN
- The Dragh!
I have spent a little time thinking of possible topics of discussion, but I think I�m going to focus on the topic that everyone can relate to, everyone has had problems with this and many wonder; what�s the point? Yes, relationships and love. So if you will allow me the time to gripe about this, maybe you will be enlightened and figure out what the point is.
Relationships are a derivative of love, and Webster defines love as an attraction based on sexual desire. So based on the definition, I would contest that relationships are merely chemical signals telling us to be lustful. So what�s wrong with going around sleeping with as many people as you want? The answer is human morality. From the time we develop the sense of right and wrong, society dictates what our behavior should be. The bible helps define that line of right and wrong, and good and evil. Being lustful is a sin, and good monogamous bonds should be formed. In order for these good monogamous bonds to be formed, one must fight that primal urge to be lustful. Relationships must be based on loyalty, honesty, and trust. A trust that the �significant� other is dedicated to the other, sounds good right? To me it does, but recently I have been becoming more and more disenchanted with the whole idea of relationships, and what it leads to (that old ball and chain). As I have been trying to restart a relationship with someone, it is becoming harder and harder to accept that image of what religion calls love. Maybe it is the chemical signal that is attracting me and not mutual interests. I sometimes feel that I am trying to force a relationship that is no longer there, perhaps the time apart has made it more difficult to get back together. I mean, maybe true love, if it is such a thing shouldn�t take much work at all, and if it was meant to be it would be easy, right? What I think it all comes down to, is that relationships are a crock, and marriage is recognized by the government for tax breaks. Think about it, how many times have you been hurt by someone you thought you �loved�? Or maybe you are in a relationship that really means nothing to you? Either way someone is getting hurt. And for what? Because you are attracted to them by sexual desire? Ok, maybe I�m being a tad bit cynical, and maybe there is a point. I�m sorry I have lost my desire to find that special someone, but seeing as how things are going, can you blame me?
- Jayvee
Hello kids. Time to warp and bore.
some advice on several things, none having to do with any of the others except that they ran through my mind�
-winter has stayed too long. leave.
-d�j� vu is the weirdest thing youll ever experience
-the matrix is right�love is insanity
-don�t go 89 past a state trooper. not recommended
-be her strength.
-leave for formation with thirty seconds left. there is something noble and good in getting there last second. its good for you.
-laugh
-eat as well as you can, and as much as you can. fuck your weight. enjoy the cake.
-take unauthorized haydown
-laugh at the oriental kids who cant speak english. they are here for your amusement
-dont sleep with a she-det
-think then act
-don�t listen to me
-lay down blood for your friends
-stay up for 36 hours at least once. life gets interesting when you start losing motor skills
-wear a condom
-prank your roommates
-say fuck it every once in awhile
-go see a nascar race. its not just for rednecks�silly ignorant yankees
-don�t be a pussy. ever.
-shake a friends' hand
-ask lev how to say fuck in russian
-don�t ever drink warm miller high life. it is no champagne of anything
-go crowd surfing over asphalt�then proceed to a pit with monstrous guys who knock you around so hard you have to lay down for the rest of the show
-wipe out so hard that the people on the ski lift cheer after the puff of snow around you disappears. ask chris hall for instructions.
-get drunk on the beach
-jump off your roof�then go jump off the back of a boat while going 30 *disclaimer - live to tell about it
-don�t let your loved ones or friends come to vmi. ever.
More later�FIN
OK, OK, I admit. I sort of, you know, let this little page slip my mind for umm� like, 4 months. But - I have an excuse! Well, actually we all know excuses are like assholes: we all got one and we all think everyone else�s stinks. So, I won�t say it�s an excuse per se, but a reason. Yes, that�s it! A reason!
A colleague of mine mentioned that this article section was going to be another excuse (ahem � reason) for me not to do my work as I should. I may now proudly say that it did not, in fact, cause me to be derelict in my pursuit of knowledge and the VMI �whole man� experience. Actually, it took a lot less for me to procrastinate or simply not do the things my parents are paying money for me to do (for which I blame Jon and the makers of Warcraft III for allowing my to play a videogame online, Nicky D and his weirdlinks.com escapades, Drew for introducing me to the helplessly addicting game of racquetball, and myself for always wanting it to be Chinese/movie night) but that is neither here nor there.
Yet somehow, I made it through another year. As I sit here at 2 AM on� what day is it? Wait- it doesn�t matter. Oh, how I love summer! Anyway, as I sit here and realize I have absolutely nothing to do (thanks to this wretched knee that will seemingly never heal!), I have decided to remount this great World Wide Web soapbox. So, ladies and gentlemen, children of all ages stay glued to this site for a weekly update on absolutely nothing. It�s sort of like a opinion page version of Seinfeld. If Jerry had a journal, it would be something like this. So stay tuned, same time, same great website.
* - we skipped "a couple weeks" due to other pressing matters at hand, ie school and stuff..
Man, I really do love summer. I often hear a lot of people say how Christmastime and the winter holidays are the �most wonderful time of the year.� I think they lost their daggone minds! Don�t get me wrong, I love Christmas Day and New Year�s and presents and �counting down� and yuletide carols and all that great stuff. But I think Kenny Chesney has a good idea in his song �All I Want for Christmas is a Real Good Tan.� I would SO much rather be on a beach �singing Silent Night with the palm trees a-blowin� than sitting inside a house, hoping Uncle Al doesn�t get me sick when he sneezed on my new sweater. Palms� or phlegm??? Hmmm, that�s a toughie!
Summer isn�t just better than winter, it�s better than fall and spring too. Really though, when else can you wake up around noon, treat everyday like it�s a Saturday and worry more about the performance of your new sand wedge next Monday, rather than a paper about �The Progression of Perceptions Over the Past Decades Concerning the Politioeconomic Reasons America Supported France in Indochina� (real paper � Thank you, Major Dowling)?
Everyone always complains about drought and heat and whatever else when they complain about summer. But, of course, no season is perfect. Hell, half the year (namely, fall and spring), the weather doesn�t know if it should be hot, cold, or indifferent. Did you know it was the same weather out New Year�s Day that it was in some days of April. Honestly! What is that! Now that sounds kind of steady and predictable until you realize that this past fall winter and spring have had some pretty whacky temperature changes. Some spring days I woke up for morning PT and wore a knit cap, the next day, shorts. In the summer, it�s predictable� hot! You know, there�s a reason so many beautiful exotic getaways are in the Caribbean while Antarctica has only about three people on the whole damn continent! Plus, I always hear of New Englanders taking winter vacations to places like Key West and Cancun. How many times have you heard someone from �Margaritaville� say, �Hey, let�s go to Alberta for the summer�? I�m guessing zero (which is higher than the ass-cold temperature of Alberta, probably.).
Honestly though, summer is great! Ahh, girls in tank tops and flip-flops, showing off their long beautiful legs! Ya�ll can keep your sweater-wearing, face-hiding-scarf toting �snow bunnies� on the slopes; I like the girls that can show off that nice, tanned skin, sun-kissed hair, and don�t get me started on beachwear (or sometimes lackthereof). In the winter, the only thing you see is wool and Gore-Tex and the only thing you smell is� wait a second - you can�t smell anything thanks to that cold from good ole Uncle Al.
I could keep on going on and on about the positives of summer: being able to go outside and feel the sun, running outside, catching fireflies with your little cousin, swimming in the ocean drunk at midnight (wait- that could�ve turned out really bad actually). However, I don�t have enough space left in my web storage to compare every little part. But then again, if it weren�t summer, I wouldn�t have had time to waste on writing so damn much about something no one�s probably even gonna read. So � �Oreviore!
email: [email protected]
IM: The Uncle Says
