"Yeah, I hear she's ten feet tall. And fat, too." one acne-faced soldier remarked, chewing on an apple.
"Hah! Some bandit leader she must be if she's as big as a barn." the second soldier laughed.
"Who knew bandit hordes could cause such trouble, all of a sudden?" the third soldier said worriedly. "I hear that she used her cosmic powers to blow up one of those huge mansions. Maybe that's why they've started the training camp---all the weird junk goin' on in Senan lately."
"Could be Jowston again." the first remarked.
"Personally, I'd much rather be in Moravia than at that blasted fortress for another moment. That Major Lione..." the second said, shuddering. "He's brutal. General Hazil is nicer, or so I've heard..."
"Don't be too sure." the first one said. "You know that the major and the general are pals, don't you? They've both gotta be rough..."
"Man, why did I join the military?" the third lamented. "I don't wanna fight some hulking giant woman with powers..."
Ronnie was practically foaming at the mouth. How dare they gossip about her like that, never even having seen her before?! Must kill...
"Whoa, Ron, get a hold of yourself...!" Jaoullin hissed, nearly wrestling her to the ground in an attempt to restrain her. The soldiers passed by, heading north on the road, and after a few moments, Ronnie calmed down. She was still somewhat steamed, but the desire to kill had left her.
"Idiots like that just make me wanna..."
"It's okay, Ronnie..." Eyesoar said. "WE know you're not all...er...big and fat..."
"Oh, thanks." she said dryly, but knew the young Winger meant what he said. Scotch's expression was sympathetic but quickly became serious.
"Well, despite all that, we still have no idea how to sneak through the Northern Checkpoint to get to...whatever it is you need to do, Ron." her second-in-command said with a sigh. "It's not as if we can just waltz through, as we're not exactly on the favorable side of Imperial law."
"Not quite." Norman said suddenly. Ronnie could see the wheels in his head turning already, and smiled to herself. She had missed his spur-of-the-moment ideas.
"I can already tell you have some scheme to get us past the Imperials..." Jaoullin said, not entirely unhappy.
"I should hope that it doesn't involve us getting covered in filth, as I'm not..." Pauline began in her instinctively snooty way, but paused as the others glared. "...not complaining." she finished timidly.
"Well, those soldiers mentioned a training camp, possibly for new recruits..." Norman suggested. "If I'm right, we could probably enter the camp with all the other newbies, participate in a few training exercises, and slip through the checkpoint into Kunan."
"...That just might work, Norman." Ronnie said happily. The quiet bandit couldn't help but grin as well.
"I hoped you'd think as much." he said.
"Well then, let's get going. This training camp is probably close to the fortress, so it won't be far!" Eyesoar said excitedly, soaring off in front of them.
"...said the kid who can fly." Jaoullin muttered.
"Behave." Pauline said smugly.
Look who's talking... Ronnie thought, rolling her eyes and moving on with the rest of her crew.
******
Major Preston Lione paced back and forth in front of the window overlooking the east side of the fortress---HIS fortress. He was a tall and forboding man, with neatly cut blond hair and sideburns going down to his chin. He had a stern face, a stern demeanor, and a stern way of speaking. Decked out in a crisp Imperial uniform decorated with a handful of medals and a gleaming broadsword, his family's heirloom, he was the very vision of what patriotism should be. His blue eyes were cold, like death.
"I don't like it, Carruthers." he stated bluntly, addressing his personal assistant, a short, timid brown-haired man, who sat nervously in a corner of the room, fidgeting.
"I know, sir. I don't either, but..." Carruthers replied.
"You don't understand." Preston said domineeringly. "Hiring that...that yokel to train the new recruits in that camp was a mistake. And we'll pay for it in the long run, mark my words."
"But major, that's not true..." Carruthers dared to protest, gently, "He has an odd background, to be certain, but he's done a wonderful job improving morale. And we're short on men, in any case, what with sending those reinforcements to Lorimar with Captain Jim..." The major sighed, scowling.
"I know that. Still, I would much rather have a captain with more experience in our field training those men. I'd do it myself---" Preston grumbled.
"Nonsense, sir. He'll do fine. Just concentrate on your own duties." Carruthers said.
"Don't you tell me what to do." Preston said in a threatening tone. Carruthers shrank back, fidgeting.
"O-of course not."
"...What's this land coming to? We fought so hard to oust that traitor Geil and now it seems like everything's happening all at once. Uprisings in Kunan, supernatural dealings in Lorimar and Senan...and from my daughter's last letter, it certainly looks as if things aren't going so well in the capital, either." Preston said, gazing out the window philosophically.
"C-Certainly things aren't as bad as you're viewing them, sir...it's just a few isolated incidents..." Carruthers said nervously.
"Perhaps." Preston said with a shrug. "Still, the honor of the Empire must be preserved. I'll make sure these new troops are trained to act accordingly. Kasim will be proud of the army we send him. There's only one way to react to such things..."
"...er...and that is?" Carruthers gulped. Preston Lione turned to face his personal assistant, a ruthless look in his eyes.
"We must help to crush all who oppose the Emperor, of course."
******
As it turned out, Eyesoar had been right. The training camp was almost right next to the Northern Checkpoint, and Ronnie could clearly hear the soldiers within who were training as they spoke. They sat in a huddle in a patch of trees outside the camp, prepping themselves to enter in the name of the Imperial Army.
"If these are new recruits, they won't know our faces, especially if they're fresh from Kunan or other regions. Even in Moravia and Senan we haven't really run afoul of that many Imperial troops, so only our reputations are really known to many." Ronnie was explaining. "However, some of our names, especially yours, Pauline, are readily recognizable to anyone who glances into a stack of records. So, we're going to need some aliases while we're here. And stick to them."
"All right..." Eyesoar said, nodding.
"Hmmm..." Jaoullin said. "What kind of names?"
"Just pick something, I don't care." Ronnie said.
"...I'll be Roi." the Sunshine Knight decided after a moment.
"I'll be 'Maria'..." Pauline said.
"Funny, you don't look like a---" Jaoullin said with a chuckle, breaking off quickly as Pauline glared and raised her fist.
"I guess I'll be 'Piisuke', then." Norman said.
"I suppose 'Bluto' works as well as anything..." Scotch said.
"...Call me, 'Masamune'!" Eyesoar declared. Ronnie thought for a moment, then shrugged.
"How about 'Beth'?" she offered. The others nodded. "Okay, Beth it is, then. Don't forget, those are your names until we get past!"
"Agreed." Scotch said.
The newly-named "soldier-hopefuls" made their way to a tent where they could enlist, on the fringes of the training camp.
"Uh, excuse me..." Ronnie said to a soldier acting as a receptionist. The man looked up, giving her odd-looking group a quizzical little glance.
"Yes?"
"My companions and I decided that we've sat idle for too long, and want to join the Imperial Army to help our great Empire." Ronnie said sincerely enough.
"Er, yeah, that's right." Jaoullin echoed.
"Whee! Go Emperor!" Eyesoar added, waving a miniature flag with Barbarossa's face on it. Ronnie blinked, and almost completely lost her train of thought. Where had he gotten that?!!
"Uhm..." the receptionist said. "I see. Well, you'll have to fill out some paperwork, of course."
"Of course." Norman said with a straight face. The receptionist handed them the paperwork, which they proceeded to fill out diligently with fake names, ages, backgrounds. Ronnie figured that if the records threw up any red flags about the information, they would be long gone before the authorities figured out that those people didn't exist.
After several minutes of silence as they wrote, sitting on benches around the tent, they turned in the forms one by one.
"I'll send these to Carruthers for processing, but in the meantime, welcome to the Imperial Army, all of you. Major Lione and Captain Hard will be glad to have you." the receptionist said in a friendly manner. Eyesoar stifled a snort behind his mini-Barbarossa-flag, and Ronnie smirked.
"Captain Hard, eh?" she said jokingly. "Named after his training courses, I suppose? Ahahaha!" She let out her most sincere fake laugh. The receptionist looked slightly nervous, paling.
"Er...no...but...you'll see when you meet him, I guess..." he muttered. He seemed embarrassed for some reason. Oh well.
"Er, may we proceed to the..eh...training thingy-doodle, so we can get it ove---er, start right away?" Pauline inquired politely.
"Yeah, sure." the receptionist replied, gesturing to the other tent-flap, which was apparently the exit. "You'll find the captain out there." Ronnie thanked the man, and proceeded to the exit with her crew. They were in! But something still bothered her.
"Where did you get that thing??" she hissed, indicating the flag Eyesoar held. The young winger just grinned wickedly and kept walking.
******
They entered the training arena, a walled-in dirt area beyond the ring of tents encircling the camp. Young recruits--mostly men, but Ronnie saw a woman or two--were practicing their swordsmanship on straw dummies along the opposite wall. A few others were lifting weights or working on a pull-up bar, and a handful of men were running an obstacle course. Ronnie and the others, uncertain of what to do, just kind of stood around until they caught the attention of a man overseeing everything. He, Ronnie thought, had a very nice body. Handsome, too. He had reddish-brown hair and a tan, and wore sandals--and an Imperial uniform that appeared to be custom-made. Something wasn't right---perhaps his pants were too tight, or his whole outfit...Ronnie couldn't quite place it. He hurried over to the group.
"Excuse me, no tresspassing. Unless you happen to be newly recruited here, we don't offer tours." he said authoritatively.
"Um, as a matter of fact, we just did enlist..." Ronnie said. "I'm Beth, and these are my friends---Roi, Maria...er...Bluto, Masamune, and...um, Piisuke." The man looked them over, nodding.
"Very good, very good..." he said approvingly. "But there's one thing you must know about the Imperial Army. When I train soldiers, you will no longer be friends. You shall be...as brothers, and sisters!"
"...of course..."
"Oh!" the man said. "I forgot to tell you. I'm..." A weird look entered his eyes and he suddenly licked his lips as if he was being watched by a vast audience. "Hard. Captain Rodney Hard. You'll be following my orders...unnh." He struck a pose Ronnie found very odd and potentially embarrassing.
"Er...y-yes, Captain...do we need..uh..um..." she stammered, trying to locate her lost thought.
"You'll find standard-issue uniforms in the changing rooms over there. In fact, if you'll excuse me, I was just about to go change myself." the captain declared.
"...Aren't you already in uniform?" Eyesoar asked. Capt. Hard ignored him and walked over into the men's side of the changing rooms. Shrugging, Ronnie gestured to Pauline and they walked over to the women's side, while the rest of her crew went with Rodney.
"Ugh...such crude material. We're expected to wear this?" Pauline said with distaste, holding her uniform up to look at.
"It's not a fashion show. It doesn't really matter as long as we get through the checkpoint, remember?" Ronnie said, putting on her own uniform. She sized herself up in a mirror that someone had placed on one of the walls. It was certainly an odd look for her, but...not bad, she thought. The uniform was a bit small, though.
"This thing smells. Oh well..." Pauline said, wrinkling her nose as she donned a uniform. Having a more petite figure better-fit for damsel-in-distress type situations, Ronnie figured that Pauline didn't come off looking like a very good soldier, exactly, however, she certainly made the look seem more beautiful when she was in uniform.
"Remember...I know being bossed around is the last thing you're accustomed to..." Ronnie said, resisting the urge to roll her eyes, "But you'll have to obey this guy's every order. He's our boss until we can get far enough into this training thing to slip away."
"Very well..." Pauline conceded. "As long as we're not worked too hard, and don't get all hot and sweaty, and don't have to wield one of those dreadful swords, and we get the chance to have a cool drink break and massage every half-hour, I'll manage." With a flip of her long black hair, she departed the changing room cheerfully.
Wonderful... Ronnie thought.
Exiting the building, Ronnie met outside near the center with Pauline, the men, and Captain Rod Hard. She had to grin---she had never seen any of her crewmen in that type of uniform before, and it was an amusing sight. Scotch and Norman looked vaguely embarrassed, and Jaoullin seemed shaken---though it didn't seem to be the uniforms that were bothering them. Indeed, Eyesoar remained in his regular clothing, and looked positively violated.
"He...he...stripped in there..." Jaoullin hissed to her with wide eyes.
"Who? The Captain?" Ronnie asked in a whisper.
"Yes..."
"He said he was changing, didn't he?" Ronnie said. Jaoullin shook his head.
"It was like a strip...show..." he said, his face pale and sickly. Ronnie snorted. Meanwhile, she tuned in to what the captain had started to say.
"I apologize, Masamune, but we weren't prepared to outfit Wingers here. You'll have to make due as you are." Hard said firmly. The captain turned to the rest of the hard-working soldiers. "You can join the combat training, for now. Grab a sword and start working on those straw dummies. I'll come by and check all your techniques." He suddenly posed erotically, grunted, and saluted, marching off to inspect the other soldiers. Ronnie was taken aback, but grabbed a sword and went to work.
******
It was a pleasant surprise to discover that Ronnie still retained some of the sword skills taught to her by her father, though she was still quite rusty at the moment. Striking at the straw dummy, she had thoughts of the Warriors' Village and wondered what was happening there now. Lost in her thoughts, she didn't notice Captain Hard come up behind her.
"Marvelous stroke, there, soldier. Where did you learn that technique?" he said. She jumped in surprise.
"Er, uh, I learned it from...someone in Warriors' Village..." she admitted, giving him a deliberately vague answer.
"Warriors' Village, I see. But I've never heard of a woman from that village wielding a sword. I thought..."
"Yes, it's forbidden. I never said I was FROM there." Ronnie lied irritably.
"Speak to your commanding officer with respect!" Rodney ordered suddenly, saluting randomly again.
Respect THIS. Ronnie would have said, but took her aggression out on the straw dummy instead. Captain Hard moved down the line to Eyesoar.
"That's not right, soldier. You're groping the sword wrong." he reprimanded. The other soldiers laughed, and the captain stared in confusion.
"Are you mocking me? What did I say??"
"Groping...?" Eyesoar said, blinking.
"Er, gripping. That's it." Rodney corrected. Standing behind the Winger, he grabbed the sword with Eyesoar's arms and showed him how to hold it correctly. "Now, the critical point here is...the sword-thrust! Thrusting is the key! A good thrust can kill your enemy!" Without even realizing it, the captain was thrusting his pelvis as he explained the procedure. Freaking out, Eyesoar threw down his sword and walked off.
"I...I'll be at the obstacle course!!" he blurted, fleeing.
"T-thrust...!" Jaoullin cackled, laughing so hard he was crying.
"Stop that! Line up, men! At once!" barked Rodney. They did as they were told, except for Eyesoar, who had adamantly joined the soldiers on the obstacle course. All of a sudden, Pauline let out a loud squeal, and clapped her hand over her mouth. She seemed to be having a fit over something, though Ronnie wasn't sure what.
"Something wrong...Maria, was it?" Rodney inquired of Pauline. Holding her hands over her face, she shook her head vehemently.
"What's up, captain?" asked a young man. "We aren't going to do another---"
"Yes!" Rodney announced, adding one more pelvic thrust for good measure, "It's time for our daily stretch routine, warm-up exercises, and then...the march!"
There was a collective groan from all the troops that had been there before Ronnie and her crew. Whatever this daily activity was, it didn't sound like a fun one. Captain Hard snapped his fingers.
"Assemble!"
******
Preston sat in his office, poring over some paperwork when it began. A telltale melody floated into his window, and upon hearing it, his face twisted into a scowl. He stood up angrily, throwing down his papers as he stormed over to the window.
"Dammit...! I told that idiot to fire those...rrrgh!" he grumbled, looking out onto the training camp in the field below.
"Carruthers!" Preston bellowed. The personal assistant appeared momentarily.
"Y-yes, major?"
"Did I or did I not tell that idiot captain to get rid of his 'musical staff'?!" the annoyed major demanded. Carruthers fidgeted.
"You must have, sir."
"Then why are they down there, playing?! Doesn't that fool know it takes up our budget to hire such frivolous extras?? Soldiers need discipline, not a chamber orchestra!" Preston raged.
"Of course not, sir." Carruthers agreed.
"Well, then?" Preston said.
"Er...I'll dispose of them right away, sir." he said, scrambling out of the office.
"Good. If Hard has a problem with it, tell him to take it up with me." the major said sternly.
"Stretch your leg to the right, now!" Rodney chanted. "One...! Two...! Three...! Four...! Feel the beat!" The captain directed his troops in various stretches while doing them himself, as the small band he had hired played some sort of odd tune to accompany the exercise.
"One...! Two...! Three...! UNNH!" Rodney grunted. "You'd better be working up a sweat! Maria, what's your problem? You aren't working!" Pauline squeaked in surprise, but didn't give one of her standard excuses.
"Er...no, s-sir." she choked out. The words were completely foreign to her. "I...I have a personal..er..problem. R-ron---I mean, Beth could you...er...uh..." The former aristocrat trailed off and frantically ran off to the changing rooms, hiding her face. Ronnie, puzzled, excused herself and ran after the girl.
"Better be quick." the captain said, randomly saluting to no one in particular again. "Hey, you there! More grunting, less talking! Let's go! One, two, UNNH!"
Ronnie ran into the changing rooms.
"...Pauline...?" she said quietly. She heard a reply from around the corner. She went to the source of the voice and found Pauline frantically ripping through lockers.
"I must find a disguise!!" Pauline said desperately.
"Er...what?" Ronnie replied, puzzled. Pauline continued her search.
"I need...a mask, or a scarf, or something! I must have it!" she said, not explaining anything.
"What are you talking about?" Ronnie asked, somewhat annoyed. Pauline's outburst had drawn undue attention to her, and now she wanted a disguise? What had gotten into her?
"It's...it's that captain, Rodney Hard! I recognize him, and it's only a matter of time before he remembers me, too!" replied Pauline.
"Why would an Imperial captain know you?" Ronnie asked. Pauline shook her head.
"It's not because he's a captain. My...well, three years ago, for my eighteenth birthday, my grandmother commissioned him to create a sculpture for me, as a gift..." Pauline explained.
"He was a sculptor?" Ronnie said, surprised. Pauline shook her head.
"N-no, not like that...the sculptor was a famous artisan by the name of...oh, it doesn't matter. But Rodney was the nude model for the piece. And I'm certain he's been involved with other...er..." Pauline reddened. "Other such erotic art productions." Ronnie burst out laughing.
"He....that guy's a former smut model?!" she howled. That made a great deal more sense now. Pauline nodded, blushing.
"But it's bad news, because he might recognize me! He spent quite a long time at our estate while modeling for that statue..." the aristocrat said desperately. She began tearing through the stacks of uniforms again.
"You're right, that could be a problem. Thanks for telling me, Pauline..." Ronnie said thoughtfully. "Although I think a full-on mask would be far too conspicuous at this point...let me see..." She approached Pauline, fiddling with her hair. After a few moments, she had pulled it up and bound it with a clip in a nonformal fashion. She then turned up the collar on Pauline's uniform, slightly obscuring her face just a bit.
"There, this is the best we can do. Have you ever worn your hair like this before?" Ronnie said.
"I doubt it." Pauline said in a tone that indicated that she never would have consented to anything short of a full-on professional job in her former lifestyle.
"You'll just have to keep a low profile and avoid drawing attention to yourself. If we're careful, then he won't recognize you, I'm hoping." Ronnie concluded. With that taken care of, the two women left the changing room, returning to the rows of soldiers outside.
As Ronnie took her place back in line, the trainees were busy doing leg-kicks for some unknown reason.
"I feel like a dancer from the Red Rabbit..." Jaoullin muttered to her as she stepped beside him. Ronnie chuckled.
"That's probably where he got the moves." she snickered.
"Eh?" the black-haired knight said in confusion.
"Don't worry about it. Tell ya later." Ronnie said.
"Faster, faster! Soon, we shall march, and I want you all worked up for it!" Captain Rodney bellowed. They continued exercising for a few minutes until a short man with brown hair came into the courtyard and walked over to the band. He exchanged a few words with them, and then their music halted abrubtly. The musicians walked out of camp, dejectedly. Rodney Hard whirled, and stormed over to the man.
"What is the meaning of this?!" he demanded, doing his random salute again.
"Captain Hard..." the brown-haired man said. "You know you were supposed to have relieved those band members of their positions. They were sapping Imperial funds..."
"Outrageous! How are we supposed to train without background music?" Rodney exploded, unconsciously tweaking one of his nipples beneath his uniform. The other man blinked and backed up a step.
"The major ordered it. You know that." the man said, fidgeting.
"But Carruthers...if Major Lione would only allow me to continue my practices, he'd find that this would be the most well-trained company in the Empire! Music inspires the soul!" Rodney insisted.
"All the other new recruits in other locations do just fine without it. That's the major's final order. He said to take it up with him if you have a problem." Carruthers said in a firm voice. Well, firm for Carruthers. The captain stomped his foot.
"I won't have it! I'm in charge of training these recruits, am I not?!" Rodney grumbled.
"That can change very quickly." came a stern voice from the edge of the camp. Rodney did a double-take, and Carruthers went into overtime with his fidgeting. The musicians, who hadn't fully left the camp, started up a dramatic melody for the hell of it.
"Major Lione, sir!" the captain gasped, saluting several times.
"Whee! Empire!" Eyesoar cried, waving his Barbarossa flag. Ronnie shushed him.
"Captain," Preston said, addressing Rodney, "Why did you disobey my orders? Those musicians were to be dismissed."
"I'm sorry sir, but I thought it provided for a better learning environment..." Rodney protested, tweaking his nipple again without even seeming to notice. Preston's nostrils flared.
"Learning environment! It's a waste of money and keeps me from my work!" the major exploded. "I should have you flogged for disobeying my orders." To Preston's shock and amazement, Rodney lit up like fireworks.
"Really??" he asked eagerly. "I haven't done one of those pieces in quite some time. Mmm, whiplicious..." This just served to piss off the major even further.
"H-how dare you mock my punishment!" Preston sputtered.
"Listen, major, the whipping can come in a few minutes, but first...I want to show you what my troops have learned thanks to the band being here. Recruits!" Rodney called. The men, some of who were doubling over with laughter, snapped to attention.
"Yes, Captain?" Norman said hesitantly, speaking for all of them.
"Demonstrate for Major Lione the secret takedown technique I taught you. Hurry up, do it!" Captain Hard ordered. The men paled and looked extremely embarrassed.
"But Captain..." one of the soldiers protested. The recruits clearly did not want to show Preston Lione whatever special move their captain had taught them.
"Immediately!" Rodney barked. No one moved. "Fine, I'll do it myself! But Major, just remember, every soldier in this camp has the training to execute this marvelous tactic!" He saluted again, and then got into a combat-ready position. He posed several times, and once Ronnie swore she saw him grab himself in an unmentionable location of his body. Then he let out a battle cry, and charged at one of the straw dummies. Leaping into the air, he attached himself to the dummy, grappling it. But that wasn't all.
"Oh my god..." Scotch gasped. "Is he doing what...what I THINK he's doing to that dummy?!"
"That's...vile..." spat Eyesoar, his Barbarossa flag drooping.
"Ewwwww..." Pauline said, wrinkling her nose.
"Thrust...!" Jaoullin cackled, beside himself with laughter.
"That's quite enough! Stop this obscene display at once, Captain! That's an order!!" Preston bellowed, livid. Rodney stopped, puzzled.
"Eh?"
"Don't you ever do that again, you idiot." Preston fumed. "I've never seen such a blasphemous display of 'technique' in my life."
"I object, major." the captain said, hopping off of the dummy. "It's a highly dignified move, and can take down an enemy in seconds."
"You were humping the dummy, you...you..."
"Dummy?" Carruthers supplied helpfully.
"Aggh!" Preston said. "You and I are going to have a long talk in my office, Captain Hard." He gestured sharply to the fortress. Rodney posed erotically and then saluted madly a few times. There was a murmur of voices as the soldiers broke out talking. What would happen to their eccentric captain?
"Goodness. He certainly never acted like this when he modeled at my house!" Pauline said, a little too loudly just as the murmur subsided.
"Huh?" said Rodney suddenly, turning around to stare at her.
"Oops...!" Pauline said. She might have been fine if she had just shut her mouth, but she suddenly launched into an overeager effort to look completely innocent, and deception was not one of her strong points. "I...I'm Maria! Just Maria, that's my name. Not someone else. You don't know me."
"...Do I know you?" Rod said suspiciously, advancing on her. Preston intervened.
"If you do, it can wait. No time for reunions, Rodney, you're not getting out of this. Come ON!" the major ordered, grabbing the captain and marching him into the Northern Checkpoint. Carruthers turned to the assembled soldiers, fidgeting.
"Until we can get another commanding officer out here, I'll be in charge, all right?" Carruthers said. "Now, what is it you all were doing??" Ronnie could tell he was more of a timid desk-clerk type than anyone who would be a real threat, and seized opportunity.
"We were going to march into Kunan as a training exercise." she blurted. Carruthers glanced at her, nodding. The other soldiers shrugged, not sure what she was up to but not really concerned, as they had been preparing to march somewhere.
"Very well, very well." Carruthers acknowledged. He waved his arm in a half-hearted gesture of authority. "Follow me, then..." He made a poor attempt to march and then just walked onto the bridge spanning the northern half of the river that the Northern Checkpoint was situated upon. The troops dutifully followed him. Eyesoar waved his flag.
"Way to go, Ronnie. That was a great save!" Jaoullin said with a grin as they marched.
"Thanks. I rather thought so." she said, pleased with herself.
******
"How do you explain this atrocious behavior, Captain?" Major Preston demanded, sitting imperiously at his desk in the fortress. Rodney, seated across from him in a much-less-imposing chair, squrimed.
"That's the way I work, sir...it's my background---"
"I'm aware of your background, but you claimed to have overcome it. Am I correct?" Preston said sharply. Rodney shrugged.
"Sexuality is a part of who I am, sir! I need to express my desires as a form of art! It helps me train wonderfully crafted soldiers!" Rodney proclaimed loftily.
"You're a former smut model, and nothing more. I have no respect for men like you. You're no better than a common prostitute, you know." Preston said darkly.
"T-that's not true, major! I worked hard to express the art of the human form! Listen, I'll do whatever it takes to prove it to you." Captain Hard declared, unbuttoning his shirt.
"What are you doing?! Put your shirt back on!!" Preston said, his eyes widening.
"Don't worry, it's not what you think. I'm just going to sing a little song." Rodney said. "A song about the wonders of what I do! It's the only way to portray my side to you." Preston scowled.
"I don't think so. You'll get thrown out of that window before I sit here and listen to some crackpot song about your life as a man-whore." Preston said venomously.
******
Ronnie paused for a moment as they were marching-----she heard the sound of someone breaking into song somewhere above her as the troops marched through the main hall of the fortress interior that led from one side to the other, then a scream, then a splash.
What was that all about? she wondered to herself. Oh well... As they stamped past a bulletin board, Norman suddenly gave an uncharacteristic gasp and pulled her out of line. As the other soldiers continued, the rest of her crew discreetly fell to the rear to see what was up.
"What is it?" Ronnie inquired.
"R-Ron, I think I found what the old woman sent you here to see...!" Norman said, pointing at the board, which was full of various reminders and ads that had been tacked up. She examined the paper he was gesturing to.
ATTENTION ALL MERCS AND BOUNTY HUNTERS!: The Warriors' Village is offering substantial cash rewards to anyone who can rid them of their Vampire problem. The Imperial Army has made repeated attempts to curb this issue, however, their skills are not enough! If YOU have any specialized vampire-killing techniques, we need your help! Our village is being overrun!
~ Chief of Warriors' Village, Zorak; and Associated Council of Elders of Lorimar.
"Oh my god..." Ronnie murmured. "My...my village..."
"There's no question." Jaoullin said firmly. "We have to help them! Right, Ron?" Ronnie just stared at the notice for a moment. Her thoughts floated back to her.
"Y-yes. Yes! I have to go back there. But....goodness, vampires? What has happened since I've been gone??"
"Who knows?" Scotch said. "You'll find out when you get there, I guess..."
"We're all coming, before you say anything otherwise, too!" Eyesoar said, waving his Barbarossa flag at her. "We wanna help."
"Vampires? Goodness! Don't they feed on lovely young maidens?" Pauline gasped.
"Yes." said Ronnie. "But not bandits. Bandits kill vampires. And you're a bandit now." She glared at the notice. "I'm not going to let anyone else die. Let's go." She turned to join the column of rapidly disappearing soldiers once more, only to see one of the men who had lagged behind staring wildly at her.
"B-bandit?! Y-you! You're the bandit queen everyone's been talking about in Moravia!" he gasped, pointing. Ronnie cursed. They should've known better than to get so careless; to speak so freely in such a place!
"Grab him, quick." she said urgently. The soldier bolted, but Pauline squealed and stuck out a leg to trip him, and Jaoullin tackled him. Holding his hand over the trooper's mouth, he pulled the man to his feet.
"What now, Ron?" The Sunshine Knight asked. She considered quickly. They had to get out of the Imperial fortress before they were really found out.
"Knock him unconscious, but don't hurt him too badly. Just make it look as if he collapsed." she decided. The soldier's eyes widened before Scotch hit him over the head. He slumped over.
"Come on, now carry him this way. We can't get too far behind." Ronnie said. They quickly ran outside, through the southern door of the Checkpoint, after the marching soldiers, Scotch and Jaoullin dragging the unconscious soldier between them. They quickly caught up, as the leader, Carruthers, was really not marching the men that hard.
"Is there a problem?" Carruthers said worriedly upon seeing them.
"This guy just couldn't take it. Collapsed, we think maybe from thirst." Norman lied. "We're taking him to the medical tent over yonder. Just go on without us..."
"Ah...oh, very well. Hurry, then." Carruthers said dismissively. They scampered off, the 'injured' soldier in tow.
"...Sir Carruthers?" another young soldier spoke up, after they had run off.
"Yes?"
"We don't have any medical tents on the south side of the fortress..." the soldier said nervously.
"What??" Carruthers said, staring. "Then what...?" His brow furrowed. "Call the major."
******
Ditching the heavy helmets of their Imperial uniforms behind some bushes out of sight, Ronnie and her crew swiftly made their escape to the south.
"Are we gonna keep dragging this dead-weight?" Scotch asked of the soldier.
"We'll drop him in an alley when we reach Antei City." Ronnie said. "For now, we need him in case the Imperials get wise to us." Norman nodded.
"That sounds reasonable..."
"Ohhh, my poor feet are so tired!" Pauline moaned. "I've never worked so hard in my life!"
"You've never worked in your life." Eyesoar pointed out.
"We're going to Antei?" Jaoullin said. "Awesome!"
"No time for social stops." Ronnie said firmly.
"Aw, man...I was hoping you wouldn't get the 'thrust' of my intentions." Jaoullin said, cackling at his own sense of humor.
"Please stop. You're hurting me." Norman said.
"Sorry."
"Just keep going." Ronnie said.
A few miles (and two more of Jaoullin's terrible "thrust" jokes) later, as they fled south, Ronnie knew they were beyond Imperial reach for the moment.
Out of sight, but not out of mind...
