Fitcher stepped off of the boat into Banner Village, helping Pearl off. Abe hopped on the shore and assisted Phanny in getting off the boat. They paid the boatman and turned to look at Banner Village. It wasn't much to look at, truthfully. Just a tiny little village on the outskirts of the forest that bordered the Scarlet Moon Empire.
"Well, here's Banner Village." Abe said. "The forest is a confusing maze, beyond here. Lately, all sorts of odd things have been occuring in it."
"Isn't the hamlet of Rokkaku concealed somewhere within the woods??" Pearl asked excitedly. She gave a dreamy sigh. "A hidden ninja village...how romantic..." Fitcher failed to see what was so romantic about a bunch of ninjas hidden in some trees, so he said nothing.
"Do you know the way to the border checkpoint from here, Abe?" Fitcher asked. The burly lumberjack nodded.
"I work these woods all the time. The border checkpoint's a ways in, though."
"We'd better get started, then." Phanny said.
"Don't forget the currency." Pearl said. They gave her all their potch, and she went to a nearby exchange to get some Imperial bits. Then they set out.
They walked out of Banner into the forest. Already Fitcher could hear all the little sounds of nature; birds chirping, the wind in the trees, and all the other things he had missed for a while. The forest floor was like a peaceful blanket of fallen pine needles. The group walked along in serene silence for a while. Abe was in the lead, followed by Fitcher and Pearl, with Phanny in the rear. Pearl walked up to the front.
"Is that....A BUNNY RABBIT?!! OH, HOW CUUUTE~~~!" she shrieked, leaping upon the poor defenseless bunny before it could make a move.
"Pearl, don't harrass the wildlife." Fitcher said. Pearl was too busy smothering the ball of fluff in kisses, hugs and snuggles to listen. Then, the bunny jumped loose, and bounded away down the forest path. Pearl jumped up.
"No, wait, come back, Mister Bunny-Fuzz~~!" she cried, running after it.
"Pearl, wait! Don't just run off!" Fitcher shouted, dashing off after her. Phanny sighed, coming up to Abe.
"At this rate, they'll all be lost, you know." she said.
"I'll go get them." Abe said, picking up the pace and going after them. Phanny sighed again and stood there by herself. After a few minutes, she nodded.
"Well, I suppose I'd better go save them all." she decided, starting down the direction they all had gone.
Phanny entered a clearing. Since this forest was in the mountains, the elevation appeared to be rising. In other words, at the edge of the clearing opposite Phanny were several tall cliffs, with ladders going up the sides. Clear up at the top of one cliff was a bunch of scruffy men. The evident leader, a man with an eyepatch, peg-leg, hook, and parrot on his shoulder, was holding Pearl in a chokehold. Down on the ground, Fitcher and Abe had already drawn their weapons.
"What's going on here? What happened?!" Phanny cried, running into the clearing. The leader of the men laughed.
"It's the old dame, men! Get her!" he ordered gruffly.
"We came into the clearing, and all these guys jumped out and grabbed Pearl!" Fitcher said, out of breath. Phanny looked up at the leader, who looked familiar...
"They seem to be looking for you, Phanny." Abe said, confused.
"That's right!" the leader shouted. "I am Cap'n James Huglabugla, leader of the mountain/forest pirates!! You made a fool out of my brother Jesse, in Lakewest!" Phanny groaned. More pirates? More ridiculous pirates?
"Who the hell would be a mountain/forest pirate, anyway?" Fitcher wondered aloud. The captain shook his hook at him.
"Quiet, you!"
"Listen." said Phanny. "Why on earth would your brother want revenge?? He won, remember? He sunk my raft and everything." James considered this for a moment.
"That's not for you to decide, Fanna! My brother gets to do everything and it's not fair!" His voice cracked near the end, as if he was going to cry or something.
"Oh, great. An emotionally disturbed pirate. Why don't you find a therapist and leave that girl out of it?" Phanny said. James turned red with anger.
"Shut up!! Shut up, all of you!! Comply with my demands, or I'll kill the girl!" the pirate captain shouted.
"What demands?" Abe asked. "I thought you wanted revenge or something."
"Quit making fun of me!!" James yelled. "I want you to...die!" Phanny blinked.
"Oh, by all means. I'll comply with THAT." she said sarcastically. Cap'n James brightened.
"Really? Oh, good. That saves me a lot of trouble." he said cheerfully.
"You're pretty stupid, you know that? Haven't you heard of sarcasm??" Phanny declared. James turned red with anger again.
"Listen, why the heck do you need to get revenge if your brother beat Phanny? Just leave us alone." Fitcher stated.
"Save me, Fitcher!" Pearl cried desperately.
"You don't understand Jesse! He's a conniving brat! He'll beat me up if I don't!" James protested. Abe gazed at the mountain/forest pirate captain.
"How old are you, anyway?" he asked.
"Thirty-three." he said miserably.
"How old is your brother?" asked Abe.
"Twenty-seven." he said miserably. Phanny snickered.
"Why would he beat you up??"
"Don't you understand?!!" James blurted. "He's the youngest! He gets to be a river pirate! Jerry's the oldest and he gets to be an ocean pirate! I got the short end of the piracy!!!" He clenched his fist angrily. "I don't even talk like a pirate!! My parrot's on its last legs!!"
"Ah, sibling rivalry...pitiful." Phanny murmured.
"It's not fair..." James sobbed. "And now you're all gonna DIE!" He raised his hook, and Pearl shrieked in terror.
James suddenly let out a yelp, and slumped forward, releasing Pearl before he tumbled off the cliff to his death. Fitcher ran over to his body and examined it. There was a shuriken stuck in his back. Pearl walked over to the pirate's lifeless body and retrieved the parrot from the ground.
"Poor parrot...he needs Tender Loving Care! I shall devote my cause to this pitiful creature of nature!!!" she cried, cradling the bird. "His name shall be...Beezly-Poo."
"Umm...but what about the pirate? Who killed him?" Fitcher said.
"HIIIYAAAAAHH!" shouted a very very happy voice up on the cliff. The mountain/forest pirates scrambled, running for their lives. A heavily shrouded ninja appeared from the dark forest.
"Who are you? A ninja?! Oh, eeek! Save me!" Pearl cried. The ninja laughed, then went into a coughing fit.
"I am the great ninja Aybabtu." the ninja said gruffly. "You have me to thank for saving all of you." Fitcher, Abe and Phanny climbed the ladder up the cliff. Fitcher got a good look at their 'savior'. He was pretty flabby for a ninja, shrouded in dusky clothes that went over his face. Some bushy gray eyebrows stuck out above his gray eyes. Despite his victory pose he was puffing and gasping for breath.
"You know, you probably didn't have to kill that poor disturbed pirate." Fitcher pointed out. Aybabtu laughed, as if the very idea was ridiculous.
"Sparing pirates?! Why, back in my day, we killed pirates and ate them for breakfast! None of this sissy 'mercy' crap that you kids have today!!" he laughed.
"We would be the ones to get saved by a middle-aged ninja..." Fitcher sighed.
"Thank you! You're my her---EEEK! YOU'RE ALL OLD AND GROSS!!" Pearl said, jumping back. Aybabtu nodded.
"That I am, lass," he said. "That I am. But I'm still the best ninja in all of Rokkaku!!" Phanny frowned.
"I think all of Rokkaku might beg to differ." she said.
"Be nice, Phanny..." Abe said. The old woman shrugged. Pearl looked excited.
"Are you really from the hamlet of Rokkaku, mister??" she cried.
"Don't call it a hamlet, lass. If you please, Rokkaku is not pork."
"That's piglet, you nut. You're as bad as the pirate." Phanny said. Aybabtu shrugged.
"But look down there. He's dead. Hahaha!" the old ninja boasted. "And do you know who killed him? I did! Hahaha!" Fitcher sighed. Aybabtu turned to Abe.
"I believe you're the guide, aren't you? I'll take it from here. I know this forest like the moustache on my face!" Abe shrugged.
"Well, Fitcher, if you'd like the ninja to guide you..." he said.
"I guess that's okay. Thanks for all your help, you guys. Phanny, I still owe you." Fitcher said. The old woman smiled.
"I'd say we're even, Fitcher. If you ever come back to Radat, look us up." she said. Fitcher nodded. Pearl was sobbing.
"Oh, I hate sad goodbyes!!!" she cried.
"No one's sad but you, you know." Abraham pointed out. Pearl sniffled.
"It was nice travelling with you two while it lasted." Phanny said. Fitcher nodded.
The two older lovers turned back and went down the cliff, heading back towards Banner and their new life together in Radat. Fitcher watched them go, then followed the mysterious ninja Aybabtu deeper into Banner Forest. It probably wasn't the best idea to trust someone they just met, and Fitcher knew it, but he DID get rid of the mountain pirates. Pearl was walking along, carrying along a detailed conversation with the parrot, Beezly-Poo, which no one could understand. She began sobbing again.
"What's wrong, lass?" Aybabtu asked. She looked at him with glassy eyes.
"My poor Beezly-Poo misses his li'l pirate-chan!" she said tearfully.
"...Pirate-chan?!" Fitcher exclaimed. Pearl nodded sadly, and went back to talking to the bird. Fitcher shrugged and walked up alongside Aybabtu.
"So, Aybabtu...do you really know this forest as well as your own moustache?" he asked.
"I don't have a moustache, laddie." Aybabtu said calmly, running ahead, "Ooh, a trail!" Fitcher groaned. Not another incompetent...oh well. He sighed and followed the ninja down the trail.
Aybabtu thought it best to set up camp in a nearby clearing, despite the fact that it was only afternoon. Fitcher complied reluctantly. While the ninja was setting up some sort of camp, Fitcher went to gather firewood with Pearl. Thankfully, she left the parrot behind, but not before making Aybabtu swear he wouldn't kill it. They had soon wandered down a trail away from camp, grabbing sticks here and there as they walked.
"Fitcher..." Pearl said suddenly. He looked at her.
"Yeah?"
"I've been thinking..." she started. "When you and Phanny were talking about owing each other and traveling with each other, it got me to think...well, I owe you a lot too."
"Don't worry about it, Pearl." Fitcher said, picking up a stick.
"But, I want to pay you back somehow. Before we part ways..." she begged.
"What could you possibly give me...?" he said, turning to face her and trailing off. She had an odd look on her face.
"I know how to make a man happy, Fitcher..." she said seductively. He swallowed.
"I-I ..wouldn't doubt it, Pearl." he said. She walked up to him, getting so close that he could smell whatever perfume she was wearing easily. She wrapped her arms around him.
"What do you say, hmm?" she asked with a grin.
"I...dunno..."
You idiot, now's your chance to get lucky!! his mind screamed. GO FOR IT!
"Okay..." he said nervously. She smiled winningly, and started to unbutton his shirt. Fitcher dropped and lost all track of the firewood he was carrying. Pearl then went to undo the buttons on her top. Fitcher's eyes nearly melted into puddles. She ran her hands down his chest, smiling seductively.
"Blast that bird, he won't even sit still long enough for a shuriken to hit him." Aybabtu grumbled, taking aim at Beezly-Poo again. Suddenly there was a flash of light behind him.
"GOTCHA!!" shouted an excited voice. Two figures appeared. The first one, the owner of the voice, was tall, skinny, and had messy brown hair. Of course, the first thing you'd notice was the neon orange baggy jumpsuit he was wearing, along with the pointed hat adorned with all sorts of interesting bangles. The second was a woman, with auburn hair put up in a messy bun type deal, wearing a white lab coat and pantsuit underneath. She wore glasses.
"May I help you two?" Aybabtu asked.
"Yes...I'm Nora Kiell, and this is Clinker." the woman said. "We're looking for a man named Fitcher. Might you be Abraham?"
"Sorry, lass, but I'm Aybabtu. I believe the one called Abraham started back for Radat with that old woman with the fiesty attitude." the ninja offered.
"Oh...is Fitcher here?" Clinker asked.
"He and that woman went to gather firewood. They went that way..." Aybabtu said, pointing. Nora nodded, smiling.
"Thanks, sir. Are you by chance traveling with him?" she asked.
"That I am, lass. For the time being." he replied. Clinker looked in the direction the old ninja had pointed.
"That way, then? Let's go, Nora." he said, walking down the trail.
A minute later, if even that, Fitcher had his train of thought derailed by an awful scream.
"My GOD! FITCHER!!"
"Holy schlaMOLEY!!" There they were: Fitcher, missing his shirt, making out with Pearl, who was missing most of everything else, on the forest floor, just as Nora and Clinker walked up. Both of their heads suddenly snapped up to see Fitcher's MSSA associates staring in disbelief. Clinker's jaw was hanging open, drooling. Nora slapped her hand over his eyes.
"N-n-n-n-n-nora!!! What are you doing here?!" Fitcher stammered. Pearl gave a little 'eep' and dove for her blouse, which she quickly threw over herself--not before giving Clinker a lengthy view, however.
"I was looking for you." Nora said tightly.
"I...I can explain, Nora..." Fitcher began. Nora looked saddened.
"How could you, Fitcher? ...I thought you were better than that..." she said, disappointed. Pearl looked shocked.
"Fitcher, why didn't you tell me you two were an item?!" she asked, outraged.
"An..item? I never really knew we were any kind of..." Fitcher started.
Nora looked hurt.
"I mean, yeah, but..." he tried.
Pearl looked angry.
"But...I..." Fitcher tried desperately. Nora and Pearl looked hurt and angry.
"Oh, Fitcher..." Nora said.
"How could you??" they both finished, storming off towards the camp. Fitcher sat stunned with Clinker for a moment. The teleporter handed him his shirt.
"Wow...Nok-Nok'll never believe how busted you are now...dude, I feel sorry for ya." he said. Fitcher said nothing, but took his shirt and put it on, walking back to camp. Damn, he sucked at this whole 'existing on the same planet with women' thing.
Back at camp, the two women were nowhere to be seen, and neither was the parrot. Aybabtu was sitting on a rock, taking aim with his shuriken at some unsuspecting forest creature. Clinker and Fitcher walked over and watched the 'master' at work. He missed, of course.
"Blasted woodland creatures!" the old ninja exclaimed. "Argh, now my shoulder's sore. I think I threw it out. Or maybe I pulled something. And I'm bloody hot, too. Where's my alcohol?" Fitcher and Clinker exchanged a glance.
"You never had any alcohol..." Fitcher said.
"And won't alcohol, like, dull your ninja skills?" Clinker asked.
"Nonsense. I'm the ninja. I know better than all of you." he snapped.
"Anyway, Aybabtu...how far are we from the border?" Fitcher asked.
"Not far, actually. The border checkpoint's up ahead a ways." he replied. Fitcher turned to Clinker, who had removed his hat and was scratching his head.
"So...you guys never told me why you came here." Fitcher said.
"Are you kidding? After Nora got your letter about evil storms, Badnooz and the Howling Voice Guild, we practically had to restrain her. She wanted to 'check on your mission progress', but really she wanted to see if you were okay." Clinker said. He winked slyly, and elbowed Fitcher. "And from what I saw of that Pearl chick, you're doing okay!" Aybabtu chuckled, and threw another shuriken at a chipmunk.
The next day, they all got up and packed up.
"Once we get to the checkpoint, we can go through!" Aybabtu announced.
"We figured that out already..." Fitcher said.
"Fitcher, does this mean you're crossing the border with me?" Pearl asked, trying not to sound excited.
"I guess so, for now..." he said, trying to make it sound unappealing. Neither fooled Nora.
"I'm not in the mood to walk through the woods. I'll stay here until you get back." she said. Clinker nodded.
"Okay, Nora. I won't be long, I hope." he said.
"Ooh, Clinky's coming with us???" Pearl said. Clinker tried not to look excited.
"Yeah..." he said. They walked down another trail that Aybabtu found, encountering a few monsters along the way, until they reached the checkpoint. Several guards stood watch over the tall wooden gate.
"We would like to pass through to the Empire." Pearl announced. The guards looked at the assorted travellers, but mostly Pearl.
"Do you have the required paperwork?" they asked skeptically.
"...we don't have any kind of paperwork. Where can we get some?" Aybabtu asked. The guard smirked cruelly.
"In the Empire." he said, not hiding his mirth.
"But I must get through! To save my people!!" Pearl begged.
"Sorry, toots, but we can't do that." the other guard said. Pearl stamped her foot, jarring the dazed parrot on her shoulder.
"Pooie! You meanies!" she cried, storming away. The others followed. Once they were away from the guard station, they stopped.
"I think we're being followed." Aybabtu stated suddenly. Fitcher looked worried.
"By who or what?" he asked.
"I'm not sure, but we're definitely being followed. At some distance, anyway. I noticed on our way to the checkpoint." the ninja replied.
"Well, what are we supposed to do??" Pearl said. "We can't go through."
"I could do a group teleportation to the nearest point in the Empire." Clinker said, thinking. "...I think from here, that would be the village of Sarady."
"Okay, that sounds good." Fitcher said. Clinker nodded.
"Well...for me to do this, everyone has to be within a certain area. Anyone who isn't coming to Sarady should get out of here." he said. They looked around, but didn't see anyone that wasn't going.
"Okay, brace yourselves---GOTCHA!" Clinker shouted, holding up his hand. There was a bright flash, and they were gone--but Fitcher could've sworn he heard someone else say "awk"...
