"B-but.....I want to know WHY!" Fitcher protested. "Why did this happen?"
"Could be luck....destiny...moronic circumstances...anything!" Leknaat said cheerfully. Fitcher began to wonder what the use of this strange woman was anyway. She had just teleported into his bedroom. That was weird enough, seeing as how women of any kind usually didn't appear in his bedroom at all, much to his chagrin, but this woman had teleported. As he understood it, she was or used to be a rather important person in the Scarlet Moon area. She wore a plain T-shirt with the slogan "Seers Do It In Advance" on it.
"Well?" she said suddenly. "I told you MY part of the deal---now you tell me yours!"
"Deal?" Fitcher said, confused. He didn't remember any deal.
"THE deal!" Leknaat said impatiently, casually fingering a toad she had pulled from her pocket. "I told you why these events happened to you! Now you tell me where my toads are, right now!!"
"But you've got one right there." Fitcher protested.
"Sparky is the only one left!" Leknaat cried. "Oh, forget it." She walked over to the window and began trying vainly to pry it open.
"What are you doing?" Fitcher asked. He was afraid if he got up from the bed she'd blast him with that True Rune of hers.
"I'm opening the window so I can leave, simpleton!" Leknaat said, irritated.
"But you can teleport, right? That's how you got here." Fitcher said quietly. Leknaat brightened.
"Why, so it is!" she said. She concentrated for a moment, and nothing happened. She pulled her toad, licked it, and vanished in a soft blue glowing light.
Fitcher plopped down onto the bed, dumbfounded. He had had a very hard day, and Leknaat was just the very bizarre end of it. Earlier in the day, his entire life had changed. He layed back and thought about these events, these abrubt changes in his life...
******
"I just need some ballpoint pens, okay?" Fitcher said to the guard outside Annabelle's office in Muse City Hall. After the guard reluctantly moved aside, he went into Annabelle's office, and began foraging through her desk drawers. Annabelle herself was nowhere to be found, which was strange. As he looked through top-secret documents and tax papers, his foot hit something underneath the desk.
"Ow!" Fitcher said. He bent over and peered at whatever hit his foot.
"What's this button, anyway?" Due to Fitcher's natural curiousity, he pressed the button several times. After all, maybe it was concealing some ballpoint pens.
And suddenly, he found himself falling down a chute. He screamed, panicking. After what seemed like an eternity, he landed rather ungracefully on a hard dirt floor. Fitcher nervously examined his surroundings. He was in a dimly lit room, located somewhere beneath City Hall. He hadn't known of any secret caverns underneath Muse, and now he was extremely worried. There were two torches on the wall, and a single exit directly in front of him. Two forbidding guards stood in front of the door, which had the initials M.S.S.A. in neat gold letters at the top.
"You must be Resar. Here for the entrace exam?" the guard on the right inquired.
Fitcher knew, even then, that he had just stumbled onto something huge, and absolutely secret. He decided not to let on more than he should, but to play along, so as not to be suspicious.
"Uh, yes, that's right." Fitcher agreed. "I'm Resar, here for the entrance exam...."
"Right this way, please." the guard on the left said, leading him through the door into a huge, brightly lit cavern. There were strange people everywhere, examining metallic gadgets and filing away secret documents. Fitcher had stumbled onto a spy agency.
The guard led him into a small room. There was a pretty female scientist holding a clipboard, and a tall man with brown hair and a look of authority about him.
"Hello, Resar. We've heard of your exploits in Kanakan and the Grasslands." the brown-haired man said. "Sit down, and we'll start your exam."
"Umm...okay." Fitcher said. He hoped they wouldn't notice that he didn't have an accent from either Kanakan or the Grasslands, and he crossed his fingers.
"Resar, here in Muse City, and in the rest of the City-States, we run a much more organized spy ring than you've seen in the likes of Grasslands, or in Kanakan. The M.S.S.A. , or Muse Secret Spy Agency, has been run by an organized team of specialists for years. I am the current leader of M.S.S.A, my name is T." the stern-faced man explained. "This is our leading scientist, Nora Kiell."
Nora smiled congenially, her gray eyes sparkling beautifully. Working up his courage, Fitcher winked at her slyly. She frowned, and he looked away. He had never been very good at sly winks.
"Mr. Resar, before you join the MSSA, you'll have to take a few tests." Fitcher's face paled, and he nervously adjusted his red bandana. He hadn't expected tests!
"Here are the written tests." Nora said, handing him a small stack of papers. He fumbled around nervously in his pockets, searching for something to write with. Nora smiled and handed him a pen, and he nervously smiled back.
What if I fail miserably? he thought. I wonder if they'll kill me for knowing all their secrets?? Then he realized that he didn't know any of their secrets, just that they existed. He relaxed a little and went to work on the tests. T and Nora left the room, shutting the door behind them. However, Fitcher had the feeling that he was being watched anyway. He looked at the first question.
1) If you found yourself in a hostage situation, what would you do?
To his dismay, he found that the questions weren't multiple-choice or True/False as he had hoped. He would just have to wing it, depending on his luck to get through. Unfortunately, his luck had the habit of changing very suddenly from very good to very bad.
I would save the hostages, and escape. he wrote, hoping that would suffice.
2) When faced with an extremely dangerous enemy, what action would you take?
Fitcher thought long and hard, and then decided to answer with a little dramatic flair.
Danger is no problem. I'd beat him down. he wrote, smirking with delight at his own cleverness.
Fitcher continued answering difficult questions for more than an hour. Once he was finished, he got up and looked around, nervously awaiting someone who would give him more instructions.
Nora entered the room as if on cue, which really made Fitcher think he was being watched. "Okay, Resar, time for the physical exam."
Fitcher's heart dropped. Physical exam? He had hoped to escape with at least his health intact...
"Is the physical exam....required?" he asked.
"Of course!" Nora laughed, brushing a strand of her auburn hair out of her face. "Wasn't it in Kanakan?"
"Umm.....I don't remember." Fitcher lied lamely. Nora shrugged and led him out into the main room again, and off to the left, through another door.
Now it seemed that he was in a huge obstacle-course-like arena. He was really sweating now....there seemed to be no way out except to do the physical exam.
"What do I do?" he asked. Nora gestured to the obstacle course.
"It's very simple. Just navigate the obstacle course, while looking for a certain object to bring back. You're also being timed." she explained cheerfully.
"Oh. Simple." Fitcher said numbly. "What....is the nature of the object?" Nora laughed again.
"You seem so innocent for an experienced spy. The object is secret, and changes frequently. You have to guess, and bring back whichever one you think is right." she said. "Whenever you're ready..."
Fitcher nodded, and she set her watch.
"GO!"
He jumped down into the pit. He ran into a series of tunnels, and met no obstacles until he came to a fork. He charged blindly down the right fork. At the dead end he met up with a Colossus, a demi-giant monster that he heard hung around L'Renouille in Highland. He wildly wheeled around and ran back the other way, with the Colossus in angry pursuit. He quickly scrambled down the left fork, wishing he had done so in the first place. He suddenly found himself in a roomful a swinging blades. There might have been time for him to sit and figure out the correct pattern that the blades swung in, so he could jump through at certain intervals and not get chopped to pieces, but that was before he stupidly got a Colossus to chase after him. He dived underneath the blades and rolled across the floor. An axe came down on him, narrowly missing him by mere inches.
As Fitcher dove out the swinging-blade room , followed by the Colossus, into a room filled with mechanically activated robot spiders, he realized one thing.
This is no job for a lowly government worker!!!
It dawned on him, belatedly, that most secret agents had gadgets, weapons, or something to destroy evil robot spiders with, but he had nothing. Perhaps he could improvise. He noticed a large wooden pole mounted on the wall. It didn't seem to be doing the spiders any good, so he tried to pull it off the wall. Now, Fitcher wasn't known for any amount of colossal strength, so he struggled to get the stick off of the wall. It came loose just as one of the robot spiders was about to sink its metallic pincers into his shoulder, and he spun around and clonked it with his stick. "Clonked" is just about the only thing his move could be described as, for Fitcher was no stickfighter. He had seen a stickfighting tournament once in Coronet, and he knew that some great stickfighting champions existed in the Scarlet Moon Empire, but he wasn't one of them. He feebly parried the beast's attack with his borrowed weapon. The spider reared up to tackle him, but he spun the stick around clumsily above his head and brought it down with a "clonk" onto the mech-spider's "head", or remote controlled nervous system. It short-circuited and toppled over, now nothing but electrical junk.
"Yah!" Fitcher cried enthusiastically, turning toward the remaining mech-spider. It hissed malevolently, scuttling across the floor at him. Fitcher quickly spun the stick above his head again, narrowly missing being "clonked" himself, and again hit the spider on its head. This one was a little more stubborn, refusing to die. It charged forward, taking Fitcher by surprise, and he almost dropped his stick. He kicked at the robot, but only succeeded in hurting his foot. Just as he was about to be chomped, he got an idea, and stuck the stick straight down the mech-spider's throat. It froze for a moment, then shut down in a shower of sparks.
He sighed with satisfaction, and did a little obligatory victory pose.
Just then, the Colossus, minus one arm, came bursting into the room, angrier than ever. Evidently it had had more trouble than Fitcher in navigating the swinging-blade room, and was now about to take out its frustration on Fitcher himself.
Fitcher ran like a bat out of hell into the next room. He came to another fork, and charged down the left one again.
"GRRRR...." growled an extremely agitated mutant creature. Fitcher had assumed that since the previous choice had been left, so would this fork. He realized that he was very wrong, and ran back out, followed by the mutant creature. He almost collided with Colossus, but he ducked under its legs and it crashed into the mutant creature. They began having a deathmatch right there and then. Fitcher breathed a sigh a relief, it felt as if ten tons had been lifted off his shoulders. He sauntered casually down the right fork, and came into another room. The door shut behind him this time. He looked ahead of him.
There were three pedestals, all brightly lit up, with an object on each.
So, Fitcher thought to himself, One of these must be the object that I need to bring back. He examined each in turn. The one on the right was a golden crown, set with precious stones, probably mined from the Dwarf Mines in the Scarlet Moon Empire. The one on the left was a rune crystal. He gazed into it and saw the symbol---a Double-Beat Rune. This one tempted Fitcher a little, for he himself had never owned a rune, though he had wanted one as a child. In the middle was a file labeled Top Secret. This one also tempted Fitcher; who knew what grand secrets that one held?
He stepped back to think, and noticed a small creature sitting shyly in the corner of the room. Upon closer inspection, he discovered that it was a porcupine. Now he was confused.
A porcupine? Is that one of the objects? Or is it a fluke?? he thought.
Unfortunately for him, before he could ponder which was the right choice, the door exploded into splinters of wood behind him. He whirled, and came face to face with the mutant beast. Its eyes flashed angrily, and blood dribbled off its lips. It snarled. Evidently the Colossus lost its battle with this beast, and now it was hungry for Fitcher again. The beast twitched slightly, and dove at Fitcher. He half-dodged, half-stumbled out of the way, and the mutant went careening into the pedestals. The objects clattered loudly to the floor. In a split-second inpulse decision, Fitcher scooped up the porcupine and dashed out the exit door. The beast was right on his tail as he ran wildly down the final corridor.
A bell rang loudly as he ran flailing out of the labyrinth, bringing him somewhat back into reality. The beast no longer followed him. He saw Nora waving him over to her.
Fitcher walked tiredly over to the smiling scientist, and slumped down against the wall. Nora added some things to the papers on her clipboard quickly, then turned to him.
"Great job, sir! Let's see your scores!" she turned to her clipboard again, and began to tally aloud. "Okay, you took longer than usual in both forks, but you get bonus points for turning the monsters against each other, very clever.....Hmmm, you got through the Blade Room in record time, and you had a very interesting strategy in the Spider Robot room. I must admit, most people shut off the manual control switch, but fighting them off with a wall beam was a very smart alternative." She smiled at him, and he couldn't help but blush embarrassedly. He certainly hadn't seen any switch!
"Let me see..." she continued, and he was thankful she didn't notice his blush. "You effectively escaped the last monster, and you brought out the correct object in record time! I'll just tally this up and....." A shocked look crossed her face, and she looked at him admiringly. "This is an extremely high score! Top level!! We should go talk to T now."
Fitcher felt as if the Collossus had smacked him across the face.
Top level score? ME?! Fitcher couldn't effectively remember a time when he had ever gotten a top score in anything.
He got up, and somewhat numbly, followed Professor Nora over to the door, where T was already walking in.
"Congratulations, you passed your written test, Fitcher." T said congenially, a rare smile crossing his stern face.
"W-wow, I did, huh." Then something occurred to him. "F--fitcher?!!"
They know my real name! I'm toast now! They probably had their network of spies research my whole history and now they're gonna kill me!!!! he thought wildly.
Fitcher began panicking.
"Y-you knew it all along?! I'll bet you used your huge spy network to record my thought pattern, or got one of your gadgets to probe my brain or something!!" Fitcher accused, "I know it!"
T laughed, and Nora looked confused. T held up the test paper.
"Actually, Mr. Fitcher, we merely read the name written on your test."
Suddenly he felt as if he had been slapped again. How foolish of him to write his real name on the written test!!!
"However, we are duly impressed with your skills, Fitcher. We have cancelled our appointment with Resar, and wish that you will join as a spy of MSSA." T explained.
"Uh, okay then, I'll join..." Fitcher said, awestruck by his great luck. Nora smiled.
"Wonderful!" she said enthusiastically. Fitcher smiled weakly back at her.
"Now then, we need to clear up all the paperwork, so you can go home and rest. We will contact you tomorrow. Welcome to MSSA, Fitcher." T said, shaking his hand. Fitcher could hardly believe this was real. For the first time in his life, he felt important. Waves of pleasure washed over him. As he walked toward the door, he was stopped by T's voice.
"Oh, and Fitcher?"
"Yeah?"
"You can drop the porcupine now."
Fitcher felt himself blushing again, but this time he didn't care.
******
Fitcher's mind slowly returned to the present. He was sitting in his bedroom, and a strange woman called Leknaat had just left, mumbling about toads.
He wasn't sure why she had showed up, but it seemed that showing up the middle of the night in people's bedrooms, talking about destiny and toads, was Leknaat's favorite activity.
Now that he was a secret agent, maybe he should ask her out. He halfway wished that she hadn't vanished yet, so he could hit on her a little. After all, that was what secret agents were supposed to do. But, Fitcher had never been that good with women, so he was sort of glad he hadn't embarrassed himself by hitting on Leknaat. Besides, she was sort of clueless, and he wasn't sure any self-resepcting secret agent would ask her out anyway. Plus, the woman licked toads! So, he decided in the end that he was rather glad she had left before anything had developed. In fact, he shuddered at the thought. Eventually, he drifted off to sleep, his mind filled with thoughts of adventure and heroics, and maybe a toad or two.
In the morning, he woke up to the sounds of Muse's marketplace being set up, smells of foods and spices wafting to his nose already. After a moment he remembered to previous day's events and jumped out of bed, praying that it wasn't a dream.
He found a letter on his front step, to his relief. It was from MSSA.
"Dear Mr. Fitcher,
Welcome to MSSA! As a member and active spy, you are expected to serve and protect Muse citizens, and accept all missions sent your way. Please report to headquarters by 1:30 PM. Note: Please use the library entrance (behind a bookcase) instead of the City Hall entrance from now on. Remember, 1:30 PM you will choose a weapon. Thank you, Cordially,
Top Agent T "
Fitcher folded up the letter and smiled to himself. Then he quickly unfolded it and read a line again.
"Choose my weapon?" Fitcher repeated to himself.
This was going to be more fun than he thought!!
