VLADIMIR
GUROV

31-10-1977
~
15-07-2002
Dearest followers of GERMANY,
On monday, july 15th, 2002, our beloved russian german, Vladimir Gurov, was struck by an american autocar in illinois.  The americans aimed for his face and leg, rendering him useless.  The americans got out of the american autocar and ran away, through illinois.  Vladimir was left to suffer in russian/german/american/illinois/pineaple
agony.  When the gestapo finally arrived, Vladimir was dead and GERMANY was left without a russian.  The body of Vladimir Gurov was left in the gutter to rot.

Two days later, I found the body after having american allies translate the gestapo report for me.  The body of Vladimir was recovered, and GERMANY set to work to restore the integrity that those americans in the autocar had taken away from our russian.
click the russian robot to enter
After many hours of hard work, we were able to install a computer in the back of Vladimir's head.  He is much the same, except we got rid of the russian accent.  It is as if he were born in Danzig.  We repaired his leg using duct tape, and inserted plates in his face to make him look more german/human.  Now he is a cross between a robot and Frankenstein who is also german.  We call him Vlad the russian robot and he is quite striking, no?  GERMANY is still putting together the music that is german techno, and we will assault you with it soon.  A free music disc of GERMANY will be awarded to whoever finds Vladimir's american killers.  And you will have bratwurst and beer.

                                               LOVE,
                                               KLAUS & the rest of GERMANY

                                               as translated by joanna nordness
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