FX
by Geri ([email protected])
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: D/Leon
Disclaimer: Characters belong to Matsuri Akino and Mercedes Lackey; no money is
being made off this story; consider it a little wish fulfillment on my part.
Summary: Stand-alone fic, not part of the series that starts with "Revenge"--D
and Leon are not a couple in this story. A short and silly crossover fic with a
character from Mercedes Lackey's novels.
Author's note 1: <> Indicates the animals' speech, which Leon cannot understand.
Author's note 2: This crossover fic is mostly for Mercedes Lackey fans. The
story refers to characters and events from Lackey's novel, "The Chrome Circle"
which is part of her "Serrated Edge" series. FX (real name: Saski Berith) is a
kitsune, or fox-spirit, who is a friend of the main character, a human mage
named Tannim. Tannim's mentor and foster-father is a dragon named Chinthliss.
Lady Shar is the daughter of an evil dragon, Charcoal (Chinthliss's rival), and
a 9-tailed kitsune, Lady Ako (Chinthliss's old flame). Shar starts off as
Tannim's enemy, because one of her father's allies, an Unseelie (evil elf) has
convinced her to challenge Tannim to a kind of duel. She lures him Underhill,
but decides what she is doing is wrong, and helps him escape. FX helps
Chinthliss and Tannim's friend Joe find Tannim, although he is at first
reluctant to do so, because he is afraid of Shar--kitsune measure status and
strength in the number of tails they have. Shar has 9, while FX only has 3: "I
get in her way, and I end up being called 'Stumpy' for the rest of my my short
life!" he complains in the book. But he helps them, even if under duress, and he
does risk his life attacking Charcoal at the end. The bad guys are defeated, and
everyone pretty much lives happily ever after: Shar and Tannim fall in love
(cross-species romance!), Chinthliss and Ako get back together, and FX gets
another tail!
___________________________________________________________________________________________________
A young man clad in jeans, t-shirt, and a red leather jacket sauntered into the
pet shop. He looked exactly like James Dean except for the four fox-tails
protruding from the seat of his jeans.
"Yo, Count, what's up?"
"Good afternoon, Saski-san," said D politely. "Have you come to visit your
cousin today?"
The James Dean lookalike grimaced. "Please don't call me that, Count!"
"I apologize if I have offended you, Saski-san, but is that not your name?"
"I go by Foxtrot X-Ray these days," said the man proudly. "FX for short. Sounds
much cooler than 'Saski Berith,' don't you think? Much more hip!"
A derisive snort caught FX's attention. A teenage boy clad in a tank top and
shorts emerged from the back rooms. The hair on the top of his head stuck up in
messy spikes, while the rest of it was braided into a long tail that fell down
his back.
"If you're so hip," said the boy, "why do you dress like a 50's reject?"
FX bristled with anger, and his tails twitched. "Why you little--"
"Ten-chan," D scolded, "your cousin is a guest here, and I expect you to treat
him with courtesy."
Ten-chan bowed, and said with icy formality, "Please excuse my rudeness,
cousin."
FX bowed back, and said sweetly, "Think nothing of it. What a pleasure to see
you again, dear cousin."
D smiled and said, "Please have a seat, FX, and I'll serve some tea."
FX flopped down on the couch and asked, "I don't suppose I could have a beer
instead?" Seeing the glare on D's face, the kitsune continued, "I guess not."
Count D turned to the tea cart muttering something about FX reminding him of a
certain police detective. As soon as the Count's back was turned, Ten-chan stuck
out his tongue at his cousin. FX just laughed good-naturedly and stuck out his
own tongue. "'Bleah', yourself, cuz!"
"You should be be the one showing respect to me," whispered Ten-chan. "After
all, I am a 9-tailed kitsune, while you are but a lowly 3-tail."
"FOUR-tails now, cuz!" retorted FX, waving his tails proudly.
"Why do you take the form of this Jim Beam guy, anyway?" asked Ten-chan.
"It's JAMES DEAN, and you know it!" retorted FX. "You're just trying to get my
goat!"
"I am NOT a goat!" shouted a voice from the back room.
"I didn't mean you, Tet-chan!" FX shouted back. "Anyway," said FX, turning back
to his cousin, "I could look like this--" His body blurred and transformed into
the shape of a cartoon-style fox with 4 tails. "That's the form I used to take
when I visited Joe when he was a little kid. But it's hard to pick up chicks
when you look like a stuffed animal!" He changed back to his James Dean shape.
"Congratulations, FX," said the Count, placing a tray of tea and cookies on the
coffee table. "I had heard that you gained a tail when you assisted in the
battle against the Unseelie Lord, Madoc Skean, and the dragon Charcoal. Your
bravery is to be commended."
FX shot his cousin a smug smile, But Ten-chan just snorted, "Hmmph!" and took a
sip of tea.
"Oh, it was nothing," said FX airily.
"Nothing, indeed," muttered Ten-chan. "I hear Tannim and Lady Shar did all the
work."
"I helped Chinthliss track down Tannim when he was missing Underhill," retorted
FX. "And I risked my life attacking Charcoal when he was trying to kill Tannim!
Man, when I saw that huge claw heading my way, I thought I was done for!"
"You couldn't even put a scratch on a dragon!" sneered Ten-chan.
"Well, I kept him distracted long enough for the cavalry to get there, anyway,"
said FX, with an air of hurt dignity.
"Please try some of these cookies," said the Count.
"Double-chocolate chip, don't mind if I do!" said FX. "Mmm!"
"Don't talk with your mouth full," scolded Ten-chan.
"Urusei!" snapped FX, through a mouthful of cookie crumbs. To D, he said,
"Delicious! Where'd you get these, Count?"
The Count smirked. "Oh, they were a gift from a friend," he said in an
exaggeratedly offhand manner.
"Possibly they were a gift from a certain police detective?" asked FX with a sly
wink.
"I see gossip travels quickly," said D dryly.
"So what're you doing here, Saski?" asked Ten-chan. "Is everything OK with the
family?"
"Everyone's fine," said FX. "That's not why I'm here."
"Why are you here, then?"
"I thought maybe I could come work for the Count, too," said FX with a grin,
twitching his tails. "Help bring love, hope, and dreams to some deserving
customer...preferably a pretty girl!"
"WHAT?!" shouted Ten-chan.
"That's very kind of you, FX," said the Count dubiously, "but--"
"Come on, D," cajoled FX, "you can find me a hot babe, can't you? Some lonely
woman, in need of a little comfort and affection..."
"This is a pet shop, not a dating service!" snarled Ten-chan. "This is not a
joke! I'm working here to pay off our family's debt to the Count's grandfather,
and you--"
"Well then, it will be paid off faster if two of us are here, won't it?" asked
FX calmly.
D interrupted as Ten-chan spluttered with anger. "It is not that simple, FX.
First of all, as a fox-spirit, you cannot be seen by humans, except for those
with magical sight, and those in great need..."
"You stupid 3-tail!" said Ten-chan, bopping his cousin on the head with a fist.
"Itai! And it's 4-tail, you baka!"
"You can't manifest physically in this realm without help! Only other kami can
touch you! How're you gonna score with your 'hot babe' if she can't even touch
you?! You're the baka!"
FX's tails drooped. "I didn't really think about that," he admitted sheepishly.
He looked at the Count hopefully. "But if the Count--"
"No," said D firmly.
"Aw, come on, D," said FX in a wheedling tone. "Did I tell you how lovely you
look today?"
"I am immune to flattery," said the Count in a haughty tone.
That wasn't exactly true, but Ten-chan wasn't about to contradict his master.
"Pastries work better than flattery with the Count," he whispered to his cousin
with amusement.
"My mother makes the best mochi in all Japan," said FX. "Soft and sticky on the
outside, with sweet bean paste on the inside..."
"Well..." the Count hesitated. "But FX, you really are not qualified to become a
pet..."
"How about mochi filled with strawberry preserves?" coaxed FX.
"Kyu, kyu!" squeaked Q-chan eagerly.
Before the Count could reply, the front door swung open. A tall blond man walked
into the room. "Count!" said Leon. "Did you get that information I asked you--"
He broke off and stared at FX suspiciously. "Who's this?"
D's eyes widened. "Who are you referring to?"
"This dude in the red jacket, of course! Did you think I was talking about the
mutt?"
Ten-chan growled.
"Is it deformed or something?" asked Leon, frowning. "It's got a whole bunch of
tails...ouch!"
"Ten-chan!" D scolded, but he sounded a bit distracted.
"Bad doggie," said FX, shaking a finger at his cousin, as Ten-chan removed his
teeth from Leon's ankle.
<Shut up, or I'll bite you, too!>
"Did anyone ever tell you that you look just like James Dean?" Leon asked FX.
"All the time," said FX with a grin.
"You can see him?" asked D incredulously.
"I'm not blind!" shouted Leon. "What the hell's wrong with you today?! Been
breathing too much incense?"
<My, my, this is interesting> said Ten-chan.
"You must be the Count's friend," said FX, his dark eyes gleaming with curiosity
and mischief.
"I'm Leon Orcot." The detective extended his hand.
FX considered letting Leon try to shake his hand, just to see the look on the
man's face when it passed through FX's hand as it wasn't there. But the Count
would probably wouldn't like it if his boyfriend had a heart attack in the
middle of the shop. Instead, FX stood up and bowed, saying, "Foxtrot's the name,
chicks are my game."
"You sure get some characters in this shop, D," said Leon, as he flopped down on
the couch. As FX began to sit down next to him, Leon's jaw dropped as he caught
a glance of the kitsune's rear end. "Uh...uh...uh..." he stuttered.
"Keiji-san? Are you all right?" asked D.
"Tuh...tuh..tail! That guy's got a tail!"
"Four, actually," FX corrected proudly. "See?" He turned, spreading his tails
out behind him like a fan.
"AAGH!" shouted Leon. "This isn't happening!" He rubbed his eyes frantically,
then sniffed at the air. "Just what the hell is in that incense, anyway?! I'll
nail you for drug dealing, Count!"
"Saski, Ten-chan, go to the back rooms," ordered the Count. "Your presence is
distressing the detective."
<Hey, don't blame me!> sulked Ten-chan.
"Aw, things are just starting to get fun," whined FX.
"Go! Now!" snapped the Count, with a hint of steel in his velvety voice. The two
kitsune fled.
Leon blinked. "This is some kind of joke, right?" he asked, a bit desperately.
"He just had some fox-tails glued to his butt, right? Big joke on the detective,
ha ha!"
"Have some tea, Keiji-san," said D soothingly. "This will calm your nerves."
"They wouldn't need calming if it weren't for you and your weirdo friends,"
grumbled Leon, but he accepted the cup of tea and drank it without further
complaint.
D stared at the detective, rubbing his chin thoughtfully, and his eyes seemed to
glow in the dim light of the shop. "It seems there is more to you than meets the
eye, Keiji-san," he murmured.
THE END...for now!
Afterword: By the way, "baka" means "idiot" or "stupid", "itai" means "ouch",
and "urusei" means "shut up" in Japanese. And I realized after the fact that
it's kind of odd that FX can eat, and be hit by Ten-chan even though he's not
"physically manifest" in this world. In the novel, though, Chinthliss can touch
FX when the human Joe can't, so I figured that other supernatural creatures can
interact with him. Technically, he can't physically touch objects, so he
shouldn't be able to eat the cookies, but I figure the shop is sort of a magical
place, so he's "exempt" while he's there. I don't have an explanation for why
Leon can see FX but not Ten-chan; I just thought his reaction to FX's tails
would be funny. Oh yeah, and the part about Ten-chan's family being in debt to
the Count's is something I made up; I was just trying to think of a reason why a
powerful 9-tailed kitsune would be living in a pet shop. I seem to recall
someone saying that Ten-chan tells his owner that Count D makes him work hard,
and in folklore, kitsune are mischief-makers, and not inclined to exert
themselves at hard work. Hope you liked it!