Scars, Part 7
by Geri ([email protected])
My homepage: http://www.geocities.com/geri_chans_fics/index.html
Rating: NC-17 overall
Pairings: Snape/Lupin, Ash/Tsubasa; also a little Theodore/Blaise,
Dylan/Hermione, and Aric/Takeshi
Author's note: {} Indicates character's unspoken thoughts; [] indicates song
lyrics.
Disclaimer: Based on the Harry Potter series by J.K. Rowling; song lyrics are
from "Scars" by Papa Roach. No money is being made off this story; consider it a
little wish fulfillment on my part.
Warning: AU. This story contains a character from Half-Blood Prince, but does
not follow the HBP storyline.
Sequel to: Always, Summer Vacation, For Old Time's Sake, Three's a Crowd, Return
of the Raven, Phoenix Reborn, Phoenix Rising, Aftermaths, The Revenant, Ash's
Story, and Summer Vacation III.
Summary: Most of this chapter deals with the meeting between Ash and Laura, but
Lukas enlists Lupin's help to discover what is troubling Ash, and Lupin is more
than happy to indulge his Gryffindor penchant for meddling.
___________________________________________________________________________________________________
Ash was cross and moody all weekend, and the other werewolves couldn't help but
notice. Kyra asked during dinner on Friday night, "Did you have a fight with
Tsubasa or something?" In response, Ash threw his plate at her, and Kyra just
barely managed to duck in time; the plate shattered against the wall behind her.
Brian, who was normally the most mild-mannered of all the werewolves in the
pack, instinctively growled in response to the attack on his mate.
"That's enough, Ash!" Matilda scolded. "If you can't behave like a civilized
human being, then go to your room and let the rest of us eat in peace! But clean
up that mess first."
"I'm neither human nor civilized," Ash muttered under his breath sulkily. "I'm a
werewolf." But he took out his wand and cast a spell to clean up the broken
plate and spilled food before stomping up the stairs to his room and slamming
the door behind him. He knew that he was behaving childishly, but at the moment,
he couldn't bring himself to care.
He stayed away from the mansion although he usually visited his pack leader on
the weekends, because he knew that he couldn't control his temper and that Lukas
wouldn't tolerate him snapping at Narcissa or flinging plates at her. Lukas
accepted that a certain amount of scuffling between the wolves in the pack was
inevitable, and usually wouldn't interfere unless things got out of hand, but he
was extremely protective of his mate, and even more so now that she was
pregnant. Ash didn't normally quarrel with Narcissa, but he was in a bad enough
mood that he was picking fights with almost anyone who spoke to him, and he
thought it would probably be best for everyone--himself included--if he laid low
and spent as much time as possible alone this weekend.
He spent the entire weekend brooding, literally feeling sick to his stomach at
the thought of meeting his sister. But finally, he realized that he wouldn't be
able to see Tsubasa until he settled things with Laura. If she knew that he was
taking fencing lessons from Tsubasa, she would probably hang around the Physical
Defense classroom in hopes of meeting him, which meant that if he intended to
avoid her, he would have to skip his lessons and avoid Tsubasa as well. And he
had an almost overpowering desire to see Tsubasa again, even though he also
dreaded the awkwardness of meeting for the first time after their one night
stand.
So late Sunday night, he contacted Tsubasa through the Floo and asked if he
would arrange a meeting with Laura before their scheduled lesson on Monday
afternoon.
"Of course; I would be glad to," Tsubasa said, sounding pleased to hear from
him, which eased Ash's sense of dread slightly. "I know this is difficult for
you, Ash, but I think that you're doing the right thing."
"I hope so," Ash sighed. "Thank you, Tsubasa."
"You're welcome," Tsubasa replied. "I'll see you tomorrow, then."
He was nervous and irritable the next day, too worried about the meeting with
his sister to concentrate on his work. He snapped at everyone who crossed his
path, sending one young clerk fleeing in tears, and he accidentally spilled a
bottle of ink on the report he had been writing at his desk.
He snarled and cursed the ink, the report, and the Ministry for the seemingly
endless amount of paperwork it required. A form had to be filled out for every
complaint made about a suspect Muggle device, and another form for the
investigation, and yet another form for each item that was confiscated and each
person who was fined or arrested. Ash sometimes fantasized about creating a huge
bonfire with all the reports he was forced to write.
A wand passed over the desk and the ink vanished. Startled, Ash looked up to see
Arthur Weasley smiling at him. "Why don't you take the rest of the day off,
Ash?" the Minister suggested pleasantly.
"But I still have another hour of work left, and this report to finish..." Ash
said, gesturing at the papers on his desk.
"It can wait till tomorrow," Arthur said firmly. "I doubt that you'll get
anything constructive done today, anyway, and besides, you're terrorizing my
staff."
"I'm sorry," Ash muttered, flushing guiltily. "I'm just...um...having a bad
day."
"Everyone is entitled to a bad day once in awhile," Arthur said sympathetically.
"Go home and get some rest, and perhaps things will look better in the morning."
{Not likely,} Ash thought to himself gloomily, but all he said was, "Yes,
Arthur. I'll try not to let my...bad days...affect my work again."
"Is everything all right, Ash?" Arthur asked, a look of concern on his face. "Is
there something I can help you with?"
"No, but I appreciate the thought," Ash replied, smiling ruefully. "It's...a
personal matter."
"All right, I won't pry any further, then," Arthur said, although he looked
curious in spite of his words. "But you do know that you can come to me if you
need any help, or even if you just need someone to talk to, don't you, Ash?"
"Yes, thank you, Arthur," Ash said, touched by the gesture even though he didn't
intend to discuss his problems with the Minister. His enthusiasm and good nature
were a bit overwhelming and even annoying at times, but he was genuinely kind
and seemed to honestly view the werewolves as equals, without any hidden fear or
condescension.
"What's the matter, did they throw you out of the Ministry?" Matilda asked when
he returned home. "I wouldn't be surprised, with the way you've been barking and
growling at everyone lately." She gave him a stern look and added, "And don't
you start growling at me, because I've had just about enough of your attitude,
mister!"
"I'm sorry, Matilda," Ash said meekly, bending down to kiss her cheek. "I know
I've been a beast lately."
She looked startled for a moment by his sudden change in mood, then laughed.
"You could always turn on the charm when you wanted, you little scamp," she said
affectionately. "Usually at just the right time to keep you out of trouble! Did
you manage to charm the Minister into not firing you?"
"I'm not fired," Ash assured her. "Arthur just told me to take off early today."
"Good," Matilda said. "But you can't always count on your charm to save you,
Ash. Don't screw up this job at the Ministry, because it's not just a job. Like
it or not, you're in a prominent position, and the things that you do--good or
bad--reflect on all werewolves."
"I know, I know," Ash grumbled sullenly. He knew that she was right, but he
didn't like the idea of having so much responsibility heaped on his shoulders.
He'd been a thief and a smuggler for most of his life, and he wasn't used to
behaving in a "respectable" manner.
"Remember that, then," Matilda said sternly, but then she smiled at him in a
motherly fashion. "And do us all a favor and make up with that pretty bird
fellow of yours."
"Yes, Matilda," Ash sighed, and went upstairs to his room. Everyone in the pack
assumed that he was in a bad mood because of a lover's spat with Tsubasa, which
was a little annoying, but it was preferable to explaining the truth about the
sudden appearance of his half-sister. He loved and trusted his packmates, so he
wasn't really sure why he was keeping it a secret from them. Maybe because he
was afraid that some of them would urge him to form a relationship with Laura,
as Tsubasa had suggested, and he didn't want to do that. He just wanted the girl
to go away and for his life to return to normal.
Arthur had meant to do him a favor by letting him take off work early, but in a
way, it made things worse for Ash because it gave him more time to brood and
worry. He tried to read a book, but couldn't concentrate, then paced around the
room nervously for awhile, then finally pulled out a bottle of Firewhiskey he
had hidden beneath his bed, and had a drink to steady his nerves. Except that he
was so nervous that he took another drink and then another...until he decided
that he'd better head over to the school before he drank the whole bottle and
passed out cold.
___________________________________________________________________________________________________
[I'm drunk and I'm feeling down
And I just wanna be alone
You shouldn't ever come around
Why don't you just go home?
...I can't help you fix yourself
But at least I can say I tried
I'm sorry but I gotta move on with my own life
--"Scars" by Papa Roach]
>
Ash arrived at the Physical Defense classroom early, but the girl was already
there, giving Ash no time to compose himself. "Am I late?" he whispered to
Tsubasa, wondering if his watch had slowed down.
"No, Laura was so eager to meet you that she arrived half an hour early,"
Tsubasa replied. He suddenly frowned, leaning in a little closer to sniff at
Ash's breath. "Ash!" he hissed softly, so that Laura wouldn't overhear. "Have
you been drinking?!"
"I'm not drunk," Ash hissed back defensively. "I just had a few shots of
Firewhiskey to brace myself." Tsubasa stared at him skeptically, and Ash added,
"Werewolves have a high tolerance for liquor."
Tsubasa looked as though he wanted to argue further, but Laura stepped forward,
smiling anxiously. "Mr. Randolf?" she asked in a voice that quavered slightly.
"I'm Laura Madley...your sister."
Now that Ash knew who she was, he could see the resemblance to Rosalind more
clearly. She didn't look exactly like their mother, but she had Rosalind's
heart-shaped face, wavy chestnut hair, and hazel eyes. She had certainly
inherited Rosalind's beauty; Ash felt a little wrench of pain in his heart as he
remembered how as a very young child, he had thought that his mother was the
most beautiful woman in the world, and how he had wistfully longed for her to
smile at him instead of glaring at him resentfully.
"Maybe I should give the two of you some privacy," Tsubasa said uncertainly,
looking as though he felt uncomfortable intruding on their family reunion, but
did not want to leave his student alone with a werewolf who might've had too
much to drink.
"You can stay," Ash told him. He didn't really want to be alone with his sister,
and besides, he didn't intend for this meeting to last very long. Laura started
to babble nervously, repeating the things she had said in her letter, telling
him about how she had not known that she'd had a brother until a few years ago
when one of the villagers had accidentally let it slip.
"Laura," he interrupted, and the girl fell silent. "You seem like a nice girl,
and I don't want to hurt your feelings, but I have no intention of ever seeing
any of my blood relatives again. I am no longer a Madley; my family is my pack.
I have left the past behind, and you should do the same. Let Ethan Madley remain
dead, and go on with your life."
"How can you say that?!" Laura cried, looking hurt and bewildered. "How can I
possibly pretend that you're dead when I know you're alive? And Mother and
Father...they've missed you so much!"
"I doubt that very much," Ash said bitterly.
Laura calmed down a little and asked sympathetically, "Are you afraid that
they'd disown you because you're a werewolf? They'll be glad just to know that
you're alive, Ethan; they've mourned you so much. That's why they didn't tell me
about you, because it hurt them to talk about you, to even just hear your name."
From the sweet, earnest expression on her face and the sincerity in her voice,
she obviously believed what she said, although Ash knew quite well that his
parents would not be glad to know that he was alive. Such naivety could only
mean that she had been sheltered, coddled, and loved all her life. And suddenly
Ash hated her for having what he had always craved as a child: the love of his
parents. Why should she have what had been denied to him just because she was
Madley's real child, conceived in wedlock, instead of a bastard stepson? He
wanted to shatter her naive trust in her parents, to shake up her safe, cozy
little world. He wanted to destroy her happiness.
His anger must have shown on his face, because Laura turned pale and took a step
backwards, and Tsubasa looked concerned and moved a step closer. Ash tried to
get control of himself, reminding himself that Laura wasn't responsible for the
way her parents had treated him before she was born, and that she had never done
anything to hurt him--at least, not intentionally. But her mere presence was
like a thorn in his side, reminding him of all his childhood pain.
"Believe me, for your own peace of mind, you do not want to stir up the past,"
he said through gritted teeth, struggling against his instincts not to growl at
the girl. "As far as I am concerned, Ethan Madley is dead."
"But this is you, isn't it?" Laura persisted stubbornly, holding out a
photograph of Ethan and his parents. Things had already begun to go sour at that
point, and their smiles were stiff and forced. It had been taken by his
step-grandparents during one of the family's rare visits to the Muggle world.
Madley had thrown away the photo, but Ash had secretly retrieved and kept it,
desperately trying to hang onto the illusion of belonging to a happy family.
"And this is your book, isn't it?" Laura demanded, holding up a battered book of
fairy tales. She opened the cover to reveal the name "Ethan Madley" written on
the inside, in a child's shaky handwriting.
Ash felt a sharp stab of pain, like a spear lancing through his body at the
sight of the book, and his eyes filled with tears. He remembered the book well;
it was one of the books he had read to comfort and entertain himself when he had
been living with Aunt Ernestine. He had stolen it from Ernestine's library and
taken it with him after he and his mother left to move in with Madley, figuring
that the old lady wouldn't miss it. He remembered how happy he had been when
Madley had officially adopted him and told him that his name was now "Ethan
Madley" instead of "Ethan Parker". He remembered how he had proudly written his
new name in all his books to celebrate his new status as Madley's son...
He snarled and slapped the book out of the girl's hand, and it fell to the
floor, its damaged spine cracking completely and splitting in two. Laura stared
at him, her hazel eyes wide with shock, and Tsubasa cried, "Ash!"
"You want the truth that badly, girl?" Ash shouted. "Then I'll tell you the
truth, but don't come crying to me afterwards when I shatter all your pretty
illusions!"
"Ash!" Tsubasa cried again, reprovingly, but both Ash and Laura ignored him.
"Yes," Laura said, lifting her head stubbornly and almost defiantly, although
her face was pale. "Please tell me the truth, Ethan."
Ash was a little taken aback by her response, but he was still too angry to back
down. "Do you know why I was in the woods the night that the werewolf found me?"
he demanded.
"I know that you quarreled with Mother and Father," Laura replied. "I think
that's why they never told me about you, because they blamed themselves for what
happened."
"That we 'quarreled'?" Ash laughed bitterly. "That's a bit of an understatement!
I ran away to hide in the woods because of this." He pointed to the scar on his
face. "And these." He rolled up his sleeves to reveal the scars on his arms.
"I-I don't understand," Laura stammered.
"My loving father inflicted these scars on me," Ash snarled. "He hit me in the
face with a whiskey bottle, and it broke and tore my face open. He kept hitting
me with the broken bottle and that's where I got these." He held up his arms.
"Oh, and just for your information, I didn't run away on the night of the full
moon. I ran away about four days before the full moon, and I hid in the woods
all that time because I was afraid that Madley would kill me if I went back."
"That's a lie!" Laura shouted hysterically, her face filling with horror and
disbelief--and just a hint of doubt. "Father would never do such a thing! Why
would he try to kill his own son?!"
"You stupid girl!" Ash shouted back at her. "Don't you realize that I'm not his
son? I'm his stepson!"
"What?!" Laura gasped.
"Ash, please calm down," Tsubasa urged, placing a hand on Ash's shoulder; Ash
growled and pushed him away.
"I'm Rosalind Parker's son, but not Alden Madley's," Ash snarled. "Rosalind got
knocked up by some pureblood boy who wouldn't marry her, and her parents sent us
off to live in the country with that sour old bitch Ernestine, to hide the shame
of a bastard grandson. For five years, I lived like a prisoner in that house,
where no one ever said a kind word to me, where every day Ernestine called me a
disgrace to the family and Rosalind complained that I had ruined her life. And
then one day, I ran away to take a look at the neighboring farm, and when Madley
took me back home, he was instantly smitten with Rosalind's beauty. He was so
infatuated that he befriended her bastard son in order to get closer to her, and
he even adopted me legally when they got married." He smiled bitterly. "And
foolish child that I was, I believed that if I was a good son to him, then
someday he would truly come to love me instead of just being kind to me out of
obligation."
"Mother never said anything about having a son before she got married," Laura
protested weakly.
"Why would she?" Ash countered scornfully. "She never would have told you I
existed at all if that senile woman at the general store hadn't let it slip."
Laura bit her lip, falling silent, and Ash felt a sense of malicious
satisfaction as he saw that she was beginning to believe him. "But even though
my stepfather saved her from disgrace," Ash said, continuing his story,
"Rosalind wasn't grateful. Instead, she resented that she had been forced to
marry a Mudblood. You see, the Parkers always fancied themselves to be
purebloods, although their own blood history was suspect, which was why my
pureblood father refused to marry my mother. And when Madley saw that Rosalind
looked down on him, he began to resent her as well. He demanded that she give
him a child of his own blood, but she could not or would not get pregnant, and
that infuriated him. He came to hate us both, but he took out his anger on me.
He started drinking heavily, and when he got drunk, he would beat me."
"No," Laura whispered desperately, staring at him with pleading eyes that
silently begged him to take back his words. "That isn't true."
"Every word of it is true," Ash taunted her. "If you don't believe me, ask the
workers at the farm. I'm sure they'll lie and deny it, but you'll still be able
to see the guilt in their eyes. I thought they were my friends, but they
abandoned me when they saw that I had fallen out of favor with my stepfather.
They pretended not to see the bruises on my face. Only one of them, a man named
John, was honest enough to tell me straight out that he couldn't do anything to
help me because he was afraid of losing his job."
"John?" Laura asked, sounding startled. "John Zeller? He's my friend Rosie's
father...he was the only one who was willing to tell me even a little about
you." Her eyes filled with sudden comprehension and horror as she whispered, "I
couldn't understand why he sounded so guilty when he talked about you."
"My beloved stepfather beat me," Ash said almost triumphantly, taking pleasure
in the look of horror and despair in his half-sister's eyes, even as a small
part of him was disgusted by what he was doing. "He burned me." He pulled open
his robe and shirt to expose the cigar burns on his chest. "He refused to send
me to Hogwarts out of sheer spite. And my mother--dear, sweet, beautiful
Rosalind--never said a word in my defense, never even once tried to stop him
from hitting me."
"No," Laura whimpered, shaking her head frantically as tears streamed down her
face. "No, he wouldn't...they wouldn't...they're good people, they love me...my
father never even spanked me when I was little..."
The words "they're good people, they love me" filled Ash with a blinding fury
that swept away any faint stirrings of guilt or pity that he might have felt for
the girl. "Of course he'd never hit you," Ash sneered. "After all, you're his
'real' child, not some bastard brat that he never wanted in the first place. He
told my mother, 'You're a whore who spread your legs for your pureblood lover,
but you won't give me, your lawful husband, an heir?!'"
"Ash, that's enough!"
"That was the night he cut open my face," Ash ranted, only dimly aware that
Tsubasa was shouting at him angrily. "I ran away to hide in a cave in the woods,
and I bled so badly that I thought I would die. That's why the werewolf found
me, you know; it scented my blood. It attacked me and turned me, and I could
hear Madley and some of the workers and townspeople searching for me the next
day, and they said that the Ministry would put down the werewolf when they
caught it, so I ran away to London because I thought they would kill me too when
they discovered that I was a werewolf. So now, dear sister, do you understand
why I never want to see my mother or stepfather again as long as I live?!"
Laura ran out of the room, sobbing, and the rage gradually receded enough for
Ash to become aware that Tsubasa was shaking him by the shoulders and calling
out his name. "Ash! Ash!"
Ash blinked, and the crane man's face came into focus, full of anger and fear
and concern, and Ash suddenly had the incongruous thought that Tsubasa was
either very brave or very foolish to grab hold of a raging werewolf.
When he saw that Ash had calmed down, Tsubasa released him and said
sarcastically, "You must be very proud of yourself, driving an innocent girl to
tears."
Ash did feel ashamed when he thought about how he had treated Laura, but part of
him wasn't sorry at all. "I just gave her what she asked for; I told her the
truth," he retorted, then added defensively, "In fact, I did her a favor! I
taught her that the world isn't always a nice place and that life isn't like a
fairy tale. If she goes through life with that naive, trusting attitude, she's
going to get burned sooner or later, by someone a lot less nice than I am."
"I'm sure that your motives were purely altruistic," Tsubasa replied, glaring at
Ash sternly, his voice still filled with sarcasm. "But you didn't have to be so
hard on her. She's only a child."
"Oh, and I suppose there's a nice way to tell someone that their father is a
monster?" Ash snapped. "And besides, I was only twelve when I was turned and had
to fend for myself on the streets of London. When I was her age, I was working
for a living, stealing and scavenging and doing whatever I had to in order to
survive! There were times when I picked food out of trash cans, and times when I
went to bed hungry, while she is living in Hogwarts being fed meals prepared by
house-elves!"
Tsubasa's expression softened slightly and he reached out to lay a hand on Ash's
shoulder. "I know that it isn't fair," he said quietly. "But it isn't Laura's
fault. She is not the one you should be angry at."
"Don't you think I know that?" Ash asked wearily. "I told you this meeting was a
bad idea."
"Ash..." Tsubasa said helplessly.
"I'm sorry," Ash said, turning away to avoid meeting his eyes. "I think I'll
skip our lesson today; I'm not really in the mood for it. I'll see you later."
Then he quickly turned and walked out of the room before Tsubasa could stop him.
___________________________________________________________________________________________________
"Ash, wait," Tsubasa called out, but Ash was already gone. He heaved a sigh;
things had gone even worse than he had expected. Ash had treated Laura cruelly,
but Tsubasa could understand why he had lost his temper. It was bad enough that
his parents had neglected and abused him, but it must have been like rubbing
salt into already raw wounds to learn that his parents had treated their second
child so lovingly.
{It was my fault, too,} Tsubasa thought to himself. He shouldn't have pushed Ash
to meet with Laura, when Ash clearly hadn't wanted to. He could sympathize with
Ash, but he couldn't truly understand what Ash had gone through, because child
abuse was virtually unknown among his people. The crane folk were long-lived,
and births were correspondingly rare, so each child born was regarded as
precious. The crane folk were also gentle by nature, and none of them would ever
raise a hand to a child in anger. And they were incredibly loyal; although
Tsubasa had chosen to leave his homeland, he knew that he could return at any
time, despite the strained relationship between himself and some of his kinfolk.
He knew that even Kazuhiko would give him help and shelter if he asked for it,
in spite of the fact that the crane nobleman feared and despised everything that
Tsubasa represented: change from the traditional ways. Of course, Kazuhiko would
probably be rather high-handed about it, but still, it would never even occur to
him to turn a fellow clan member away, even a rebel like Tsubasa. And if the
clan was ever in danger, Tsubasa would willingly lay his own life down for
them--even ill-tempered, narrow-minded Kazuhiko.
Tsubasa wondered if that was the true meaning of "family"--people who would take
you in and stand by your side when you were in need, even if you didn't always
get along with each other. Tsubasa had felt like a misfit among his own people
for most of his life, but after hearing Ash's story, he thought of them more
kindly now. He would probably still end up quarreling with them on his next
visit home, but in a way, those arguments were borne out of love. The clan
elders were like overprotective parents who were stubbornly certain that they
knew what was right for their child, even though the child might have completely
different ideas about what was right for him.
But Ash had never received even that frustrating, quarrelsome form of love from
his parents. Tsubasa knelt down and picked up the broken book of fairy tales
that Laura and Ash had left on the floor, forgotten. He looked at Ethan's name
written on the inside cover, gently tracing his fingers over the letters, and he
could almost feel the hope and joy that had gone into that childish scrawl. His
heart ached in sympathy for that boy, who had wanted nothing more than to be
loved by his parents, and also for the cynical man that the boy had become--a
man who feared to love, because he didn't seem to believe that he was worthy of
being loved. Tsubasa remembered how Ash had been afraid to reveal his scars the
night they had made love, but the scars on his soul were far deeper than any of
the superficial marks on his body. He wasn't sure if he was capable of healing
Ash's wounds, and he wasn't entirely sure that he wanted to try.
But still, he found himself attempting to mend the book, because it had
obviously once meant a great deal to Ash. He pressed the two broken halves of
the book together and ran his finger down the spine. The outer binding was made
of cloth, and it was child's play for a crane, even one as weak in Weaving magic
as Tsubasa was, to cause the torn edges of the cloth to firmly knit together
once again. A Reparo spell mended the inner spine, where the glue and cardboard
had fallen apart, and although it wasn't quite as good as new, the book was
whole and in slightly better condition than it had been before Ash had knocked
it out of Laura's hand.
Tsubasa stared at the book in his hands and sighed, wishing that it would be as
easy to mend things between Ash and his sister.
___________________________________________________________________________________________________
While Ash was meeting with Laura, Lupin was in Lukas's office, interviewing the
other werewolf for his book. Originally, he had intended it to be mainly a
history textbook, with a bit of biology and potions thrown in, to simply give
the wizarding public the true facts about lycanthropy and clear up all the false
rumors and stereotypes. But after talking with Severus about the werewolf Death
Eaters, Lupin thought that maybe it should be a biography of sorts as well.
Reading a story written from a werewolf's point of view might well do more to
promote understanding than a book full of dry facts. He wanted his readers to
understand the fear and loneliness that most werewolves experienced, and he also
wanted them to understand the bravery and strength of people like Lukas and his
pack, who had managed to help each other and find friendship and love in spite
of all the hardships they had suffered.
Lukas willingly shared his life story, although Lupin already knew most of it,
but was hesitant to talk about the individual members of his pack. "It's a kind
of pact between us, you see, that we won't ask each other about the past," Lukas
explained. "People can volunteer that information if they wish, but most of us
want to forget the past and begin a new life."
"I understand," Lupin replied. "But may I speak with those of your pack who are
willing?"
Lukas hesitated for a moment, then nodded. "I'll tell them about your book, and
tell those who are willing to contact you. I think that would be better than you
going to them and asking for their life histories; some of us get a bit touchy
about the past."
"I understand," Lupin repeated, smiling. "I don't wish to cause pain or stir up
bad memories for anyone. But I think that this will help the human wizards to
see us as people and individuals instead of faceless monsters."
"I suppose you're right," Lukas said with a shrug, still looking a bit
skeptical. "You've certainly managed to charm the students at Hogwarts, at
least."
"So have you," Lupin teased.
"I doubt that my Physical Defense students would agree with you," Lukas laughed
good-naturedly.
"Well, in the meantime, would you mind talking about the past with me?" Lupin
asked with a smile.
"I thought that's what we were doing, Remus," Lukas replied, looking a little
puzzled.
"No, I meant about a specific time in the past," Lupin said, his smile fading
into a more solemn expression. "The last years of the first war, to be
specific."
"Well, mostly we--the pack and I--were trying to lie low and avoid attracting
the attention of either side," Lukas said, still looking puzzled. "What brought
up this subject?"
"Severus and I were talking about the old days," Lupin replied. "He was telling
me about a small pack of werewolves that worked for the Death Eaters, led by a
man named Fenrir Greyback."
"He was the sort who gave the rest of us werewolves a bad name," Lukas said
contemptuously, grimacing slightly.
"You knew him?" Lupin asked, startled.
"No, but I knew of him," Lukas replied. "I read about his exploits in the Daily
Prophet, like everyone else, and word had spread on the street that he was
looking to recruit other werewolves into the Death Eaters. He said that the Dark
Lord had promised to grant the werewolves their freedom if they would fight for
him, but I doubt that even Greyback really believed that Voldemort would keep
his word. Personally, I think that he joined the Death Eaters simply because it
gave him license to hunt and kill, and indulge his lust for blood."
"You say that you didn't know him, but you seem to know a lot about him," Lupin
observed curiously.
"My information mostly comes secondhand," Lukas said, smiling bitterly. "Several
members of my pack were turned by him. He is the reason why they lost their
homes and jobs and families. And he's probably indirectly responsible for
several more turnings in my pack. I can't prove it, but I suspect that many of
the pack were bitten by werewolves created by Greyback."
"Oh," Lupin whispered, turning a little pale. He knew that Greyback had been an
evil man, but he had underestimated the impact that the werewolf had made on so
many lives. If what Lukas said was true, he had continued to hurt people even
after he was dead, through the werewolves he had created. "I can feel some
sympathy for werewolves who bit people unintentionally, since they were not in
control of themselves at the time. Although perhaps they should have been more
careful to restrain themselves during the full moon..." Lupin's voice trailed
off as he guiltily recalled all the times that he had run free with the
Marauders during the full moon. "There but for the grace of God go I," he
murmured softly. "I must admit, I was a bit careless myself at times, but
fortunately I was lucky and never bit anyone. But what Greyback did was
unforgivable. Severus told me that he deliberately bit people, including at
least one specific target that Voldemort wanted to bring into the Death Eaters."
"I've heard that he forced some of his victims to join his pack," Lukas said
grimly. "In a way, it was fortunate that there was no Wolfsbane Potion back
then, because Greyback wasn't in control of himself during the full moon, so
some of his victims managed to flee from him, and some he wasn't even aware that
he had turned."
"My memories of the full moon were always fuzzy at best without the potion,"
Lupin said. "Then again, I didn't particularly want to remember most of those
nights. Greyback relished being a wolf and hurting people, so maybe his memories
would have been stronger."
"I had recently begun to form my own pack back then," Lukas continued. "We were
small in numbers, and we knew that we weren't strong enough to take on Greyback
and the Death Eaters. And with Greyback causing a panic by attacking people, the
Ministry was arresting any unregistered werewolves they came across, whether or
not they were Death Eaters. Even werewolves who were purely victims, like the
ones that Greyback turned, were taken into 'protective custody' if they were
unlucky enough to be identified by the Ministry--supposedly for their own
safety. We didn't want to be targeted by either side, so we were careful to keep
our existence a secret. As far as Greyback or anyone else knew, we were just a
bunch of human thieves and smugglers, no different from the rest of the scum in
Knockturn Alley, and there was no reason for Voldemort to want to recruit us. As
for the Ministry, they were too busy dealing with the Death Eaters to bother
with a few petty thieves."
"But if Greyback had lived...?" Lupin mused thoughtfully.
"Then I suppose I would have had to fight him sooner or later," Lukas said. "We
wouldn't have been able to hide from him forever, and he would have never have
tolerated the existence of another pack in England; he would've seen us as a
challenge to his authority. To be honest, I'm not sure if I could have beaten
him. I fought many challengers before the pack fully accepted me as their
leader, but Greyback was different from your typical werewolf. You and I often
speak of embracing the wolf within, but Greyback embraced all of the curse--even
the insanity and the berserker rage and the desire to kill, and that made him
strong in a way that goes beyond physical strength. But I do know one thing." He
growled softly, baring his teeth. "If we had fought, either I would have killed
him or he would have killed me. I would never have submitted to the likes of
Greyback."
"But if he had killed you, then your pack would have fallen under Greyback's
control," Lupin said, turning pale at the thought.
"Well then, it's a good thing that I never had to fight him," Lukas said
lightly, although there was still a feral gleam in his eyes. "You worry too much
about things that will never happen, Lupin."
"I suppose you're right," Lupin agreed, laughing a little at his own fears.
"Severus always says that I spend too much time thinking about what-ifs. I
suppose that there are enough things in the present to worry about without
wondering what might have happened if history had taken a different course."
Just then, Ash stalked into the office, a black expression on his face that
seemed to hover somewhere between depression and anger, although his robes and
shirt were hanging open, leaving his chest bare and somewhat distracting
attention from his face. Lupin couldn't help but notice that there were a number
of small round scars scattered across his chest.
"Finished your lesson with Tsubasa already?" Lukas asked with a wry smile,
gazing pointedly at Ash's chest.
The other werewolf flushed and hastily buttoned up his shirt. "It's not what you
think," he snarled, then grabbed a handful of Floo Powder and vanished through
the fireplace before Lukas could say anything else.
"I guess he still hasn't made up with the crane," Lukas sighed. "He's been in a
foul mood all weekend, or so the other wolves tell me."
"Did he and Tsubasa have a fight?" Lupin asked curiously, and his friend smiled
at him.
"Why, were you planning to write a gossip column for the Daily Prophet?" Lukas
joked.
Lupin laughed, a bit sheepishly. "I know that it's none of my business, but as
Severus likes to say, a Gryffindor can't help poking his nose into other
people's business. And I did happen to notice that Tsubasa never showed up for
dinner in the Great Hall last Thursday night, which coincidentally, was the day
he and Ash had a lesson." Lupin smiled slyly. "And I couldn't help but notice
that Tsubasa looked a little...hmm...battered...the next morning. You and I both
know that werewolves can be very...ah...enthusiastic lovers."
Lukas grinned without any embarrassment, exposing his sharp canine teeth. "Yeah,
wolves like to play rough sometimes," he agreed. "I don't really know what
happened between the two of them. Tsubasa showed up at the townhouse on Thursday
night, saying that he needed to talk to Ash, only it sounds like they didn't
really do much 'talking'. I wasn't there myself, but of course the other wolves
told me all about it." Lukas grinned again, then frowned, looking puzzled and
concerned. "So you would've thought Ash would be in a good mood, but he's been
in a bad mood ever since that night. I just assumed that they had a lover's spat
or something, and when Ash showed up for his lesson today, I thought that he was
going to make up with Tsubasa, but I guess I was wrong. I don't suppose that you
know anything about it, Remus?"
Lupin shook his head. "All I know is what I just told you. Tsubasa doesn't seem
to be in a bad mood, but I'm not sure that I'd be able to tell if he was. He has
very good control over his emotions, almost as much as Severus."
"I wonder what they fought about?" Lukas muttered to himself, tipping his chair
back and casually resting his feet on his desk as he frowned up at the ceiling
thoughtfully.
Lupin smiled as he imagined how McGonagall would react if she saw that; she had
once docked points from James for doing the exact same thing in class when they
had been students, and he didn't think that Lukas being a fellow teacher would
soften her reaction in the slightest. If anything, she would probably be more
severe on him, saying that a teacher needed to set a good example for his
students. His smile grew wider as he pictured the fierce werewolf leader being
scolded like a misbehaving first-year student.
Fortunately for Lupin, the other werewolf was too preoccupied to notice his
smile. "Ash has never been in a serious relationship before," Lukas said to the
ceiling. "He doesn't have much experience with this sort of thing."
"Really?" Lupin asked. "I've heard that he's quite the playboy."
Lukas blinked, as if suddenly recalling Lupin's presence, and settled his chair
back down on all four legs, swinging his feet off the desk. "There's a
difference between casual sex and a serious relationship," he said dryly.
"Having experience with the first doesn't necessarily translate into being good
at the latter."
"No, I suppose not," Lupin said agreeably. "But I've never been one for casual
affairs myself. Severus has always been the only one that I've desired."
Lukas rolled his eyes and said, "If you can say things like that with a straight
face, you ought to be writing romance novels instead of textbooks." Lupin just
laughed, and Lukas said more seriously, "Ash is an adult, and I suppose that he
has to work this out for himself, but still, I'm worried about him."
"You're very protective of your pack, aren't you?" Lupin asked with a smile.
"Yes, but Ash especially," Lukas replied. "I suppose it's because I found him
and brought him into the pack when he was only a child." He smiled, the normally
fierce and feral expression on his face softening into something more tender.
"As young as he was, he was stubbornly determined to survive, despite everything
he had suffered, when many adults who are turned lose their will to live and
either commit suicide or kill themselves more slowly by drowning their sorrows
in drugs or alcohol. That's why I've always been more protective of Ash than the
wolves who joined my pack as adults. I've always thought of him as my little
brother, almost like a son, although I'm not really old enough to be his
father." He sighed. "I know I shouldn't meddle, but...you seem to be friendly
with Tsubasa, Remus..."
"Meddling is what we Gryffindors do best," Lupin said, grinning. "I'll see what
I can find out."
___________________________________________________________________________________________________
Laura ran sobbing from the Physical Defense classroom. She had imagined that her
reunion with Ethan would end in tears, but she had thought they would be tears
of joy, with she and her long-lost brother embracing at last. She had thought
that he would be happy to go back home to his family.
She had never in her wildest dreams imagined that he would tell her horrible
stories about her mother having a child out of wedlock, or about a vicious,
cruel stepfather who seemed nothing like the stern but loving father that Laura
knew. And yet...she didn't believe that Ash Randolf was lying, at least not
deliberately. Laura was no mind-reader, but the pain in his eyes when he had
seen the book of fairy tales, and the anger in his voice when he had shouted
about his stepfather had seemed genuine.
Surely this must all be some kind of misunderstanding! Laura couldn't picture
her father brutally beating and nearly killing a child, even if Ethan hadn't
been his real son. But it was difficult to imagine how Ethan/Ash could be
mistaken about such a thing; the scars on his face and his body were certainly
real, and proof that someone had hurt him. If not Father, then who...?
Laura desperately tried to come up with some plausible explanation that would
not make her father a monster or her brother a liar. The monthly transformations
caused temporary insanity in werewolves if they didn't take the Wolfsbane
Potion, and it had only been invented a few years ago. Maybe the initial attack
and the subsequent transformations had traumatized Ethan and caused him to
believe that Father was somehow to blame.
Only...Professor Lupin was also a werewolf, and he didn't seem to suffer from
any similar delusions. Or maybe someone had cast a Memory Charm on Ethan to
alter his memories and make him think that Father had hurt him. But that sounded
pretty far-fetched, like something out of one of Ariel Zoltaire's adventure
novels. Who would want to alter Ethan's memories and turn him against his own
family? Mother and Father didn't have any enemies that Laura knew of; Father had
a few business rivals, perhaps, but no one who would go so far as to attack his
children. Laura didn't know what kind of enemies her brother might have made as
Ash Randolf, though. The werewolves had fought against the Death Eaters, but the
Death Eaters were all dead or in prison, and anyway, a Death Eater would be much
more likely to use a Killing Curse to take revenge than a Memory Charm. There
were other people, like Amos Diggory, who might have grudges against the
werewolves, but again, she couldn't see why they would have used a Memory Charm
instead of something more destructive.
And even if someone had altered Ethan's memories, that still didn't explain
where his scars had come from. Laura thought that perhaps they had been
inflicted by the werewolf who had turned him, then remembered that Professor
Lupin had told his classes that werewolves usually healed wounds quickly,
without any scars forming. Although she had a vague recollection that wounds
inflicted by silver weapons were difficult to heal...
Without really thinking about it, Laura had instinctively headed towards the
Hufflepuff dorm when she fled the Physical Defense classroom. Her vision still
blurry with tears, she was running through the halls half-blindly when she
suddenly ran into something warm and solid--or rather, someone.
Laura tumbled to the floor, while the person she had run into staggered
backwards, uttering a startled but blistering curse. Just her luck; of all the
people in Hogwarts to run into, it had to be Professor Snape!
Snape managed to reach out and brace his hand against the wall to keep his
balance, although he dropped some packages that he had been carrying. He glared
down at Laura, who still lay sprawled out on the floor at his feet, and snapped,
"Five points off Hufflepuff for running in the halls, Miss Madley!"
Her nerves already frayed from the confrontation with her brother, Laura burst
into tears and started sobbing again.
"Miss Madley?" Snape asked in a milder voice, sounding annoyed but also a little
concerned. "Are you injured or ill?" Laura shook her head. "Then stop that
caterwauling, you stupid girl!" the Potions Master snapped, his voice shifting
back from concerned to fully annoyed. "There's no need to make such a fuss about
five measly points!"
"I'm s-s-sorry, Professor!" Laura barely managed to choke the syllables out
between sobs. "It's n-not that."
___________________________________________________________________________________________________
Snape glared down at Laura Madley, then heaved a sigh of exasperation. The day
was turning out to be a very trying one for the Potions Master. First, one of
the second-year students had managed to accidentally blow up a cauldron in the
middle of Potions class, and several students had suffered minor burns. To make
matters worse, the culprit had been a Slytherin, Patrick Parkinson, and Snape
had been forced to take points from his own House. The idiot boy had been
showing off, trying to impress his pretty Ravenclaw classmate, Gabrielle
Delacour. Snape cursed under his breath; he'd known that her veela blood was
going to cause trouble, but he had hoped that the trouble wouldn't start until
she and her yearmates were in their teens. However, the boys were already
beginning to vie for her attention at age twelve, and he hated to imagine what
things were going to be like when she was fifteen or sixteen.
And now to top it all off, he had an hysterical Hufflepuff girl sobbing at his
feet. If Lupin found him here with the girl wailing like this, he would never
hear the end of it. He would have to endure a sanctimonious lecture about how he
didn't need to terrorize the students in order to keep discipline, and it was
completely unfair because--at least in this case--he hadn't done anything to
deserve it. All he'd done was to take five points from her; Miss Madley was
usually a sensible girl and not the sort to burst into tears over something like
that. In fact, she was normally too well-behaved to be running in the halls in
the first place.
"Is something wrong, Miss Madley?" Snape asked cautiously. If it was something
silly like a fight with a boyfriend, he didn't really want to hear about it, and
he doubted that she would want to confide in him, anyway. He began to wish that
Lupin was here, after all, since he was much better at comforting distraught
students than Snape was.
In response, the girl started crying even louder, which made Snape feel like an
ogre--again, undeservedly so. He wondered if he ought to take her with him to
the hospital wing, but since she wasn't showing any indication that she was
going to get up off the floor of her own volition, he'd have to physically haul
her there, and if Pomfrey saw the girl in this condition, then she, like Lupin,
would automatically assume that Snape was to blame, and he'd have to endure
another lecture.
He glanced down the hall, half-hoping to see Lupin so that he could pass this
problem on to someone else, even if it meant receiving an undeserved lecture. He
did spot someone, and although it wasn't Lupin, his eyes fell on her with
relief.
"Miss Avery!" he snapped imperiously, and Serafina Avery came to a halt in front
of him.
"Yes, Professor?" she asked politely, not seeming at all curious or perturbed by
the fact that there was a student lying on the floor at Snape's feet, sobbing
her heart out.
"Miss Madley seems to be in some distress," Snape replied. In a way, this was
even better than running into Lupin. Serafina was one of his Slytherins, so he
could dump his problem in her lap without being questioned or lectured, and
Serafina, who was calm to the point of almost being emotionless, wasn't likely
to be bothered by Miss Madley's hysterics.
"Calm her down and escort her to the Hufflepuff dormitory," Snape ordered. "I
need to deliver some healing herbs and potions to Madam Pomfrey." He picked up
and examined his fallen packages. "Fortunately, nothing seems to be broken."
"Yes, sir," Serafina replied obediently, and Snape gratefully fled in the
direction of the hospital wing.
___________________________________________________________________________________________________
"Are you all right?" a dispassionate voice asked, and Laura wiped her eyes on
her sleeve and looked up to see Serafina Avery gazing down at her. Serafina's
face was bland and expressionless as always, as if she did not find it at all
strange that Laura was lying on the floor, weeping. Then again, the sight of
Snape driving students to tears was hardly an unusual one at Hogwarts.
And the Slytherin girl did indeed seem to assume that Laura was crying because
Snape had yelled at her. "Don't take it personally," Serafina said almost
kindly, although her voice was still calm and remote. "The Professor's in a bad
mood today. One of the second-years managed to blow up a cauldron and make a
mess of the Potions classroom, so he's been docking points from just about
anyone who crosses his path."
"It's not because of Snape," Laura sniffled.
"Oh," said Serafina, sounding only mildly curious. She knelt down on the floor
beside Laura and offered her a handkerchief. Laura cautiously took it and wiped
her eyes and blew her nose. Serafina had a reputation for being strange; she had
few friends, even among the Slytherins, and her violet eyes were always cold and
emotionless. She didn't go out of her way to bully or harass people like some of
her housemates did, but people who crossed her tended to become the victims of
nasty hexes, although there was rarely any evidence to prove that Serafina was
to blame. One of those victims had been a Hufflepuff, but to be fair, the boy
had provoked her by hexing a bottle of ink to explode at her desk. The incident
had occurred during Laura's third year, the year that had led up to the final
battle between the Order of the Phoenix and the Death Eaters--and between Harry
Potter and Lord Voldemort. Tensions had been running high, and Serafina was the
daughter of a known Death Eater, while the Hufflepuff boy was a half-blood whose
Muggle-born uncle had been killed during the first war.
So although Serafina wasn't completely to blame, the Hufflepuffs had regarded
her warily ever since then. But the Slytherin girl didn't look as if she
intended to hex Laura; she had offered Laura a handkerchief, which was a kind
gesture, and she was waiting patiently for Laura to compose herself.
"Thank you," Laura finally said, when she had finished drying her eyes. She
tucked the sodden, crumpled handkerchief into her pocket and added, "I'll wash
this and return it to you later."
Serafina just nodded indifferently, as if she didn't care whether the
handkerchief was returned or not. She stood up and held out her hand to Laura;
Laura took it and allowed the other girl to help her to her feet. "Shall I take
you to your dorm now?" Serafina asked.
Suddenly Laura realized that she didn't really want to go to the dorm, after
all. None of her friends but Rosie even knew that she had a brother, so she
couldn't really talk to them about what had happened. Her first impulse was to
cry on Rosie's shoulder, but she knew that her best friend hadn't really
approved of her search for her lost brother. Rosie was too kind to say "I told
you so" out loud, but she would probably be thinking that Laura should have left
well enough alone and accepted her parents' explanation of her brother's death.
Laura shook her head, and Serafina asked in a calm, logical voice, "Well, what
do you want do, then?"
That made Laura stop and think. What did she want to do? Well, she wanted to
find out if Ethan's...if Ash Randolf's story was true. Or, to be honest, she
wanted to find proof that it was false, and that he had somehow been misled into
believing those horrible things about their parents. But how could she possibly
go to her mother and ask if she'd given birth to an illegitimate child, or ask
her father if he'd beaten his son?
"How can I find out the truth?" Laura wondered.
She had been thinking out loud rather than speaking to Serafina, but the other
girl replied, "Well, it depends on what kind of truth you want to find out, but
I'd suggest that you do some research."
"Research?" Laura asked, startled.
Serafina nodded. "What exactly are you trying to find out?"
Laura hesitated. She needed help from someone, and she didn't want to ask Rosie.
Serafina had been kind to her, but she was reluctant to entrust her secret to
someone she barely knew. "Will you promise not to tell anyone?"
Serafina paused to consider the question, then answered gravely, "I won't repeat
what you tell me to anyone, so long as doing so will not cause harm or dishonor
to myself, my family, my House, and my friends."
That wasn't exactly a definite promise of secrecy, although with the way she had
worded it, it was difficult to object. Still, the fact that she had placed
conditions on her promise seemed to indicate that she intended to keep it as
long as those conditions were met. If she had intended to break her word, she
probably would have blithely and carelessly promised not to tell.
Laura didn't see how her family's secret would cause any harm to Serafina, but
she decided to err on the side of caution and not mention any names. "How would
I be able to find out if...um...a certain person had a child before they married
their current spouse? And how would I find out if that child was the spouse's
natural child or if he--or she--had been adopted?"
Serafina raised her eyebrows, a spark of curiosity flaring in her violet eyes.
But she did not press for more information and merely replied, "For a formal
adoption, there are papers that have to be filed with the Ministry of Magic."
"But I can't just go to the Ministry and ask to see them," Laura said,
crestfallen. "I can't leave Hogwarts, for one thing."
"And even if you could, they wouldn't show the forms to you without the proper
authorizations," Serafina agreed. "But marriage and birth announcements are
printed in the Daily Prophet. Adoptions aren't always publicized, but sometimes
they are, especially if a child is being adopted as the heir of a clan, the way
that Professor Snape adopted Theodore."
Yes, of course! She could go to the library and look up back issues of the Daily
Prophet--there would surely be a wedding announcement for her parents, and if
Ethan was their real child, there should be a birth announcement some time after
the wedding. And then Laura realized that she didn't know the exact date that
her parents had gotten married. It had never seemed very important, since her
parents never celebrated their wedding anniversary, but she vaguely knew that
they had been married for several years before she was born. Well, if Ethan had
been twelve when he had supposedly died, about a year before Laura's birth, that
would make him about twenty-eight now. She could start from there and work
either forwards or backwards.
"Thank you, Serafina!" Laura exclaimed gratefully. "Thank you so much!"
Serafina gave her a bemused smile in return; she was actually very pretty when
she smiled, something Laura had never noticed before. "You're welcome," Serafina
replied. "Professor Snape said I was to take you to your dorm, but since you
seem to be feeling better, I suppose there's no harm in going to the library
instead."
So Serafina insisted on escorting her to the library, although Laura said that
she would be fine on her own. She got the impression that the Slytherin girl
wanted to follow the intent of Snape's orders, if not quite obeying them to the
letter.
"Will you be all right?" Serafina asked when they arrived at the library.
"Yes, thank you very much, Serafina," Laura replied. As Serafina turned to
leave, Laura asked, "Aren't you going to ask who I'm doing the research on?"
Serafina shrugged indifferently. "What's the point, since you obviously want to
keep it a secret?"
"It's just that most people would be curious about it," Laura said. She knew
that if her Hufflepuff friends were here, they would be pestering her to tell
them her secret. Hufflepuffs tended to believe they ought to share everything
with their friends, because of the loyalty that was their House trait. And Laura
did trust her friends, but this was something that she wasn't ready to share
with anyone just yet.
"I am curious about it," Serafina admitted. "But either you'll tell me or you
won't, so there's no point in making a fuss about it."
Serafina Avery might be a little odd, but Laura was beginning to like her very
much, and she felt a little ashamed that she had so easily believed the gossip
about Serafina's sinister reputation. Professor Lupin had told the students many
times that they should be more open-minded and not judge people by their Houses,
and Laura tried to follow his advice, but it was easy to slip back into old
habits. She was friendly with a few Ravenclaws and Gryffindors, but her best
friends were all Hufflepuffs. And she had no friends at all among the
Slytherins; a few of them had made disparaging remarks about her Muggle-born
father when she first started going to Hogwarts, but for the most part they
ignored her, and she did likewise. Even if they didn't call her names or insult
her directly, it was difficult for a half-blood like Laura to feel friendly
towards people who generally believed in pureblood superiority.
But the Slytherins had grown slightly less snobbish when Professor Lupin had
moved in with their Head of House, and Serafina had certainly been nice to her
today. So Laura smiled shyly and said, "I can't tell you about it right now, but
when I'm able to, I will." She was still hoping to reconcile her brother with
her parents, and if her efforts were successful, there would no longer be any
need to keep his identity a secret.
"All right," Serafina said amiably, then left without further comment, and Laura
went to look through the newspaper archive in the library. The huge stacks of
yellowed newspapers were rather daunting, but Laura determinedly went through
them, starting about thirty years back, figuring that her parents would probably
have been married for at least a year or two before their first child was born.
However, there were no marriage announcements, and no birth announcements,
either, not even when she reached the year that Ethan would have been born.
Finally, she found a marriage announcement for her parents in a paper printed
twenty-two years ago, which meant that Ethan would have been about six at the
time. Which also meant that unless her parents had delayed getting married after
their child was born for some reason, Ash had been telling the truth about being
her father's stepson.
She numbly continued flipping through the newspaper, and found the proof of it
in the very same issue, buried in the page of legal notices that printed things
like changes of names, changes in ownership of land or property, and
notifications of lawsuits being filed. There, in small print near the bottom of
the page, was a sentence that Laura nearly overlooked amidst all the other
notices: "The Ministry of Magic hereby grants Alden Madley's petition to adopt
Ethan Parker, who shall henceforth be known as Ethan Madley and be granted all
the rights and privileges of a legal son."
So it was true, after all. Ethan wasn't her father's son. And since his surname
had been the same as their mother's maiden name, he probably had been
illegitimate, as he had claimed. If Mother had been married and then widowed
before meeting Father, there would have been no reason for them to keep that
first marriage a secret. A divorce, on the other hand, would have been more
scandalous, and they might have wanted to hide the knowledge of a failed first
marriage, but in either case, Ethan should have been using the surname of his
father before his adoption.
And if Ash...Laura's train of thought drifted off for a moment as she realized
that she was thinking of the adult werewolf as "Ash" instead of "Ethan," because
he did not fit the fantasy image of the brother she had created in her head. And
maybe that wasn't Ash's fault, but she felt as if she had lost her brother a
second time, in a way that was somehow even more painful than believing that he
was dead.
Anyway, if Ash had been telling the truth about his birth, was he also telling
the truth about the way that Mother and Father had treated him? Laura wanted to
weep, but she felt too numb and drained, as if she had already wept so much that
she had no more tears to shed.
She skipped ahead about six years, and eventually found a small article saying
that a boy had been killed by a werewolf in her home village--or actually, it
said that the boy was missing and presumed dead. The boy's name had not been
released by the Ministry, at the request of his family, but Laura knew that it
must be Ethan. At least, she thought to herself bitterly, her parents had told
the truth about that. They might have lied about everything else, but it did
seem that everyone had really believed that Ethan was dead.
The article said that the werewolf had been apprehended in the next county, and
the amount of blood on his clothing left little doubt that his victim was dead,
even though the body had not been found. The werewolf claimed to be remorseful,
and freely confessed to attacking and killing the boy. At least, that was what
the Ministry reported to the Daily Prophet. Laura wondered, with
uncharacteristic cynicism, if the Ministry had applied pressure to "encourage"
the werewolf to confess. In any case, the werewolf had been given a life
sentence in Azkaban for his crime.
Laura had learned all that she could from the newspapers; if her father had
abused his son--or his stepson, rather--he would hardly have reported it to the
Daily Prophet. So she put away the newspapers, making sure to stack them neatly
and in order so that Madam Pince wouldn't scold her. She was acting mainly out
of reflex; she didn't particularly care at the moment whether a teacher yelled
at her or gave her detention.
She knew that Rosie would tell her to drop the matter, to just forget about
Ethan and Ash. But she couldn't just forget about her brother and pretend that
everything was normal, no matter how much she would have liked to. If Ash had
been wronged by their parents, she had to find some way to make it up to him,
although she had no idea how she would do such a thing. And part of her was
still hoping that this was all a terrible misunderstanding and that her parents
would say that of course they loved Ethan and wanted him to come home.
So quickly, before she lost her nerve, she wrote a letter to her parents
explaining how she had met Ash and what he had told her. She didn't mention what
John and Rosie had told her about Ethan, of course; she said only that she had
found the photo and the book of fairy tales in the attic, and that she had
guessed his identity from the picture. She begged them to tell her the truth,
and to reconcile with Ethan/Ash so that they could all be a family again. Then,
because she didn't have an owl of her own, she went to the Owlery and sent the
letter off with one of the school owls.
Laura had been so absorbed in her research and her troubled thoughts that she
didn't realize until she left the Owlery that it was dark and she had completely
missed dinner. When she got back to the dorm, she found that Rosie was frantic
with worry.
"Where have you been?!" her friend cried. "I've been looking all over for you! I
got so worried when you didn't come to dinner!"
"I'm sorry," Laura said dully. "I was working in the library and lost track of
time."
Rosie looked at her more closely, and her expression softened, although she
still looked worried. She took Laura by the hand and led her to their bedroom;
fortunately their roommates were out and they had the room to themselves. Rosie
said quietly, "I've been waiting to hear how your meeting with your brother
went. Your eyes look red, so I guess it didn't go so well?"
And suddenly, Laura found herself able to cry again, and she wept on Rosie's
shoulder while her friend held her and tried to comfort her. When she calmed
down, she explained what had happened, and Rosie was sympathetic up until the
point where she had sent the letter to her parents.
"How could you do that?!" Rosie shouted, looking horrified. "You promised you
wouldn't tell your parents!"
"I promised that I wouldn't say anything until I found out whether or not Ash
Randolf really was my brother," Laura reminded her. "And he is, even if he
doesn't want to be."
"But they'll fire Dad if they find out that he and I talked to you about Ethan!"
Rosie cried frantically.
"Of course I didn't mention you or your father," Laura said indignantly. "I
promised that I wouldn't, and I would never break my promise to you. I told them
that I found Ethan's picture in the attic and did some research in the Daily
Prophet. There's no reason for them to think that you told me anything."
"But what if they figure it out?" Rosie fretted, not looking at all reassured.
"And I don't understand why you're writing to them, anyway. This Ash says that
he wants nothing to do with your family, so what's the point?"
"He's my brother," Laura said stubbornly. "That's the point. He's family. I have
to find some way to make things right between him and my parents. Surely Father
couldn't have been so cruel, even if Ash wasn't his real son. There must be some
kind of misunderstanding."
"Oh, Laura," Rosie sighed, looking both sad and a bit exasperated. "Sometimes
you're so naive."
"Well, do you think my father could have beat Ash...Ethan...and cut his face
open?" Laura demanded.
Rosie turned away, not meeting her eyes. "No," she mumbled, not very
convincingly. "But if Ethan was his stepson and not his real son, maybe they
didn't get along. They might not want to reconcile. Not every story has a happy
ending, Laura."
"This one will," Laura said, with more desperation than true belief. "It has
to."
Rosie sighed again and shook her head. She picked up a small cloth bundle from
her desk and handed it to Laura, saying, "Here, I saved some food for you since
you missed dinner."
Laura unwrapped the napkin, which was filled with rolls split and stuffed with
slices of roast beef, as well as an apple and a slightly squashed cupcake.
"Thank you, Rosie," she said, touched by the gesture although she didn't have
much of an appetite right now.
"You're welcome," Rosie replied, managing a small smile, but her eyes were still
sad and anxious.
___________________________________________________________________________________________________
Lupin did not start meddling right away, which he felt showed admirable
restraint on his part. Instead, he tried to gauge Tsubasa's mood at dinner. The
new Professor did not seem at all upset, and chatted pleasantly with the other
teachers during the meal. But then again, as Lupin had told Lukas, Tsubasa had
good control over his emotions, and he wouldn't necessarily show it if he was
upset--he would probably be good at Occlumency. And come to think of it, Lupin
had no idea what Tsubasa had studied at Salem besides Transfiguration; for all
he knew, the crane man might really be an Occlumens.
He did notice that Severus seemed to be in a bad mood, which was not at all
surprising. "I heard about the incident in your second-year Potions class,"
Lupin told his lover sympathetically.
"That idiot Parkinson was showing off for that veela girl," Snape grumbled.
"She's only part veela," Lupin reminded him.
"Thank Merlin!" Snape growled. "It's bad enough as it is; I'd never be able to
get the male students to concentrate in class if she were a full-blooded veela."
"Well, most of the male students, anyway," Lupin conceded with a smile. "I
imagine that there are a few who wouldn't be affected by Gabrielle's veela
charm." The Potions Master just scowled at him in response, and Lupin patted his
hand and said soothingly, "Perhaps you should give out a few detentions,
Severus. It might cheer you up."
"Then he should be quite cheery already, Remus," Dumbledore said, his eyes
twinkling mischievously. "He's deducted a record amount of points today, so I
hear, and given out several detentions." Snape glowered at him fiercely, but the
Headmaster just chuckled good-naturedly and winked at him.
"You could help me with my research tonight, Severus," Lupin whispered into his
lover's ear. "Perhaps that would help take your mind off unruly students."
"Yes, your research tends to be rather...distracting," Snape agreed in a dry
voice, his scowl easing into a sardonic smile. "Very well, Lupin."
"You've been working very hard on your book, Remus," Dumbledore said, his eyes
still twinkling.
"I think it's important for a textbook to be well-researched," Lupin said
demurely.
Snape rolled his eyes and muttered under his breath, "This will probably be the
most well-researched book in the history of the wizarding world."
After dinner, Lupin decided to have a word with Tsubasa. "Go on ahead, Severus,"
he said as everyone started to file out of the Great Hall. "I'll meet you in a
few minutes; I just need to ask Tsubasa something."
"Meddling again, Lupin?" Snape asked, raising an eyebrow.
"Yes, but this time I have permission," Lupin replied with a grin, and hurried
after Tsubasa, leaving the Potions Master staring after him with a rather
perplexed expression on his face.
"Excuse me, Tsubasa," Lupin called out, and the other man stopped and turned to
face him.
"Yes, Remus?" Tsubasa asked politely.
"I happened to be talking with Lukas in his office when Ash left, and we
couldn't help but notice that he seemed to be upset about something," Lupin
replied. "I know that it's none of my business, but..."
Tsubasa sighed, a bit wearily. "Why do people always say 'it's none of my
business' when they're about to pry into your business anyway?"
Lupin smiled at him apologetically. "Yes, well, normally I wouldn't," he said as
Tsubasa gave him a skeptical look. "But you see, Lukas is protective of all his
pack members, and Ash in particular, and he was worried--"
"Why does everyone assume that it's my fault Ash is upset?" Tsubasa interrupted,
sounding rather offended.
Lupin suppressed a smile of amusement; so Professor Tsubasa was in a bad mood,
after all. In a way, that was a good sign, because it was the people that you
cared about who were able to get under your skin and annoy you the most.
Arguments with people you were indifferent to weren't nearly as vexing. Or maybe
it was just that Lupin was used to living with a quarrelsome Potions Master, so
he'd come to associate irritability with affection.
"Actually, I think it's more the other way around," Lupin said placatingly.
"Lukas said that Ash doesn't have much experience with relationships, so I think
he was assuming that Ash was probably at fault."
"Oh," Tsubasa said sheepishly.
"So I don't know exactly what's happened between you," Lupin continued, "but I
hope that the two of you will be able to patch things up. Again, it's none of my
business--" He grinned impishly, and Tsubasa smiled slightly in response. "--but
if there's anything I can do to help..."
"I thank you for your good intentions, Remus," Tsubasa said, with another weary
little sigh. "But I am afraid that there's nothing you can do. Ash has to work
this out for himself. And by the way, it's not what you think."
"Excuse me?" Lupin asked.
"I mean that Ash is not upset because of me," Tsubasa replied. Then he
reconsidered and admitted reluctantly, "Well, perhaps a little. But that's not
that main reason."
"Then what is?" Lupin asked curiously.
"If you want to know that, you and Lukas will have to ask Ash," Tsubasa said
firmly.
"Can't you just give me a little hint?" Lupin wheedled, flashing his most
charming smile at Tsubasa.
However, the other teacher was unmoved. "Sharing something that Ash told me in
confidence without his permission would be a betrayal of his trust," Tsubasa
said, sounding a little annoyed.
"Of course I wouldn't want you to betray a confidence," Lupin said, hastily.
"But Lukas really is worried. Perhaps if you could just give us an idea of how
serious this mysterious problem is--"
"Remus," Tsubasa said, in a tone of patience sorely being tested; Lupin found it
familiar because Severus used it on him quite often, although his voice usually
had a much more scathing ring to it than Tsubasa's. "With all due respect, this
is none of your business, so please butt out."
"Um..." Lupin said hesitantly. He wasn't familiar with that last phrase--an
Americanism, he assumed--but its implied meaning was certainly clear enough.
"To put it in British terms," Tsubasa said in an exasperated voice, "bugger off,
Lupin!" Then he turned on his heel and stalked away.
"Oh!" Lupin exclaimed with a startled laugh, more amused than offended. Most of
his Japanese acquaintances were exquisitely polite, and even when they expressed
disapproval, they tended to be subtle and indirect about it. Tsubasa must have
picked up his bluntness during the years he had spent living with the tengu, or
perhaps from his human classmates at Salem.
Lupin felt a little guilty that he'd upset Tsubasa, but again, he thought it was
a good sign, because Tsubasa wouldn't be so touchy about the subject if he
didn't care for Ash. But Lupin wondered what was troubling Ash if it wasn't a
lover's spat.
Lupin headed to the dungeon, lost in thought. Well, since the direct approach
had failed, he'd have to go the indirect route. Sirius and Harry often had lunch
with Ash at the Ministry, so maybe they might have noticed if something was
bothering him. In fact, it was possible that the problem could be some incident
that had happened at work; there were many people who were opposed to having a
werewolf on the Ministry staff. He decided to contact Sirius through the Floo
when he got back to his quarters. And he would have to apologize to Tsubasa and
try to smooth things over with him tomorrow. Fortunately, he didn't think that
the crane man was the type to hold a grudge.
"You certainly took your time, Lupin," Snape said in a low, sarcastic drawl when
Lupin arrived at their dungeon quarters. "Are you meddling in things that are
none of your concern again?"
"But Lukas asked me to," Lupin protested innocently.
"Lukas asked you to play matchmaker for one of his wolves?" Snape asked
skeptically.
"No, he asked me to find out what's bothering Ash," Lupin replied. "I was hoping
that Tsubasa could help me with that."
"I see," Snape said. "But don't forget that Tsubasa is a master swordsman. Is
Lukas going to protect you if the crane gets a bit testy and decides to lop off
that Gryffindor nose of yours because you stuck it where it doesn't belong? Or
any of your other appendages, for that matter?" Snape's eyes slowly traveled
down Lupin's body from head to toe in a deliberately lewd manner, resting their
gaze pointedly on Lupin's crotch for a moment before moving on. "Because I
believe that I prefer you with all your appendages intact."
Lupin decided that he could wait until tomorrow to talk to Sirius. "Why
Severus," he said coyly, batting his eyelashes playfully. "Sometimes you say the
most romantic things."
"This isn't romance, Lupin," Snape purred, with a wicked gleam in his black eyes
that made Lupin forget all about meddling and matchmaking. "This is research."
"And what should we research tonight, Severus?" Lupin murmured, stepping forward
and wrapping his arms around his lover.
"How about the length of time it will take a certain werewolf to beg me to
ravish him?" Snape whispered into Lupin's ear. "Or perhaps the length of time it
will take to make that werewolf howl?"
The answer to the first question was approximately three minutes. It took
somewhat longer to make the wolf howl, but by then, neither of them was
counting.
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