Aftermaths, Part 89

by Geri ([email protected])

Rating: Mostly PG-13, but NC-17 for overall story

Pairing: Snape/Lupin, Theodore/Blaise

Warning: AU; events that occurred at the end of Order of the Phoenix were significantly altered from the book.

Sequel to: Always, Summer Vacation, For Old Time's Sake, Three's a Crowd, Return of the Raven, Phoenix Reborn, and Phoenix Rising.

Summary: The various characters deal with the aftermath of the war, and Snape and Lupin try to build a family together with Theodore and Dylan. However, some people are unable to let go of the past...

Author's note: {} Indicates character's unspoken thoughts.

Disclaimer: Characters belong to J.K. Rowling, except Hob, who belongs to William Mayne; no money is being made off this story; consider it a little wish fulfillment on my part.
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In his office, Snape carefully measured droplets of various chemicals into the bowl of punch, as well as Damien's cup; both changed from red to a bright shade of orange. The three boys sat in front of his desk, watching anxiously. "Yes, definitely a Potion of Liberation," he said.

"So you said this was a weaker form of Truth Potion?" Lupin asked.

"It doesn't actually compel someone to tell the truth the way Veritaserum does," Snape explained, calming down a little as he automatically slipped into his lecturing mode. "It merely loosens one's inhibitions, as I said, and makes the person who imbibed it feel talkative, usually resulting in them saying things that they would not otherwise voice aloud, due to the normal social restrictions most people abide by."

"Leading to a spate of students confessing their love for each other," Lupin said with a smile, and Blaise groaned and buried his head in his hands. Dylan patted him comfortingly on the shoulder.

"Yes, although I'm not sure that was the effect the prankster had in mind," Snape said. "Someone once slipped some of this potion into the punch when I was attending a party at the Parkinson's house with my parents. You should see how nasty the purebloods can get when their veneer of politeness is stripped away. I recall Mrs. Bletchley calling Priscilla Parkinson a cold-hearted, stuck-up little bitch--which she is, but no one ever says so in those exact words. It's considered gauche, you see. Fortunately, I don't much like punch, and neither did my parents."

"And you had nothing to do with that prank?" Lupin asked.

"Of course not," Snape replied, "although I suspect that Evan did." Then he remembered the boys' presence, and cleared his throat gruffly. The boys were still too intimidated to take much amusement in his little digression although Dylan smiled a little. "In any case, we should get back to the matter at hand. I wonder what you would tell me if I forced you to drink some of this punch, Mr. Dietrich?"

Aric looked alarmed. "I didn't do it!"

"Oh, really?" Snape said, not sounding convinced.

"I didn't!" Aric insisted. "Sure, I got a laugh out of it, but I didn't know that Theo was gay!"

"Perhaps that piece of information was an unexpected bonus for you," Snape said coolly.

Aric glared at him defiantly. "If you made me drink that, you'd find out that I'm not the one who spiked the punch. You would find out that I hate Theo, but you already knew that. And I've got no reason to want to give Truth Potion to Theo; I already found out the truth about Uncle Rafe in the hospital wing after the Porvora attack."

Snape frowned. As a former Death Eater and spy, not to mention his talent for Legilimency, he had become quite skilled at detecting deception, and Aric's words had the ring of truth to them. Of course, Snape was not infallible at detecting lies, but he didn't think that Aric was that skilled a prevaricator. Besides, what the boy said made sense; he'd already had the opportunity to question his cousin under Truth Potion once. Now that Aric had confirmed what he had been so obsessed about--Theodore's role in their uncle's death--there was really no need for him to do it again.

"I believe him, Severus," Lupin said softly.

Snape scowled; he was dying for a chance to send the brat back to Durmstrang, but it didn't seem that he was going to get his wish this time. On top of that, he was soon going to have to deal with his irate mother when gossip of this night reached her ears. "Get out of here, Dietrich," he growled.

Aric smirked, but quickly fled the room when Snape gave him a menacing glare. "Now, as for you, Mr. Zabini..."

"You can punish me, but please don't be mad at Theo, Professor," Blaise begged. "It's not his fault."

"It's not your fault, either," Lupin said gently. "We're not angry at you." He elbowed Snape in the side. "Isn't that right, Severus?"

"I'm not angry at you or Theodore, Mr. Zabini," Snape sighed. "But this does complicate things. My mother and your parents will be quite upset when they learn of this, and I can no longer overlook your...ah...situation."

"Overlook?" Blaise asked, startled. "You mean...you knew? About us?"

"Well, I didn't know, but I suspected." Snape gestured at Lupin. "Or rather, I should say that the werewolf did."

Blaise smiled hesitantly at Lupin. "Theo thought you might have guessed, but we weren't sure..."

"Surely you didn't think that we'd be angry about it, Blaise?" Lupin asked kindly. "Considering that Severus and I are in a relationship ourselves."

Blaise looked ashamed of himself. "I...wasn't sure," he said in a low voice, staring down at his lap, where he was nervously clasping his hands together. "I mean, Theodore is the Snape heir now; that is why the Professor adopted him, after all. And he'll be expected to have an heir of his own someday..."

"Oh, for Merlin's sake, Zabini!" Snape said irritably. "I don't give a damn if the Snape line dies out or not! That's not why I adopted Theodore. I only did it because..." His voice trailed off and his face turned red, as Lupin smiled at him tenderly. "Because...er...well...Theodore needed a family," he finished awkwardly. "That's all."

"But Lady Selima--"

"Lady Selima will be angry, yes, but she is not the head of the Snape family," Snape said firmly. "I am. I will not allow her to disown Theodore."

"Oh," Blaise sighed, his shoulders sagging with both relief and guilt. "Theodore told me that you wouldn't force him into an arranged marriage, but I guess...I guess I was still worried about it. I should have trusted him." He glanced up at Lupin, looking very distressed. "I said some awful things to him. The expression on his face..." Blaise shuddered. Theodore had been a little angry--well, not so much angry as annoyed, really--but that did not bother Blaise so much as the way Theo's face had just shut down and gone blank and cold right after he had kissed Blaise. It was the same look he used to wear when he talked about his father, or when Blaise tried to press him for information about the Death Eaters.

"Theo will understand that it wasn't your fault," Dylan said, trying to comfort him. "We'll explain that the punch was spiked; it sounds like he already suspected it."

"That's not the point!" Blaise said, still distraught. "The potion makes you say what you really feel--now he knows that I don't trust him! I accused him of caring more about the Snape title than he does about me!"

"Theodore loves you," Lupin said gently, slipping an arm around the boy's shoulders. "Or he wouldn't have kissed you in front of half the school." Blaise groaned again at that reminder, and Lupin smiled. "I think he'll forgive you. But it sounds like you two have a few things you need to discuss with each other."

"You know I'll have to separate you two now that this is out in the open," Snape told Blaise gravely. "I can't allow two students in a relationship to share a room."

"I understand, Professor," Blaise whispered, hanging his head.

"But surely not tonight, Severus," Lupin pleaded on the boys' behalf.

Snape paused to think it over, rubbing his chin thoughtfully. "I suppose it is too late to change the dorm assignments tonight," he agreed. "But pack up your things and be ready to move tomorrow morning. You too, Dylan. You'll be moving in with Theodore, and Blaise will move into your old room with Damien."

"Yes, sir," both boys said.

"Very well, you may go now," Snape said. "And I want to see you and Theodore in my quarters first thing in the morning. We need to discuss how to deal with my mother and your parents." He glanced at Lupin to include him in that statement. "It would probably be best if they heard about this from us and not in the Daily Prophet."

"Yes, sir," Blaise said meekly, then looked up at him timidly. "You...you really don't mind, about Theo and me?"

Snape snorted. "That would be a bit hypocritical of me, wouldn't it? Never mind; don't answer that. I know that most Slytherins have no problem with a little hypocrisy, but no, I don't mind, Mr. Zabini. Although I wish you had revealed your relationship in a less dramatic manner."

Blaise blushed, and Lupin scolded, "It wasn't his fault, Severus."

"I know, I know," Snape said, and made a dismissive gesture with his hand. "Go on then, Mr. Zabini."

Dylan and Blaise rose from their seats and headed for the door, then Blaise paused and turned around before they left. "We were going to tell you the truth, eventually. We knew we couldn't hide this from our families forever. But I told Theo to wait until after graduation, so that my parents couldn't try to separate us." He smiled sadly. "Only I ended up doing it for them."

"I'm glad that you planned to confide in us, Blaise," Lupin told him. "We'll try to make your parents understand. They love you very much, and I'm sure they'll come around eventually."

"I was hoping to break it to them gently," Blaise said glumly.

Snape snorted. "There's no way to break such news 'gently,' Zabini. But you're not the first boy to scandalize your family, and I doubt you'll be the last. We'll deal with your parents. Go on, you might as well enjoy your last night of freedom."

To Blaise's surprise, Snape was smiling at him, the corners of his mouth lifting just the slightest bit. "Thank you, sir," he said, and headed to the dorm to see Theo.

After the boys left, Lupin sighed and said, "I hope everything works out between them. It's a little sad, that Blaise has been carrying that insecurity around with him for so long. If I had known, I would have reassured him, but I had no clue. Everything seemed fine between them."

"All Slytherins keep secrets, Lupin," Snape told him solemnly. "Even, sometimes, from their lovers. As for Blaise, in some ways, he is very un-Slytherin-like, and yet in others, he is Slytherin to the core."

"What do you mean, Sev?"

"Slytherin is the House of those who desire power, and Blaise has no ambition. And yet, like a typical Slytherin, he is acutely aware of his place in the social hierarchy, which unfortunately for him, is very close to the bottom. It is possible to advance oneself, but he doesn't possess enough ruthlessness to claw his way up to a higher position, so he simply accepts his lot in life. Someone like Weasley or Granger might attempt to carve a place for themselves outside of pureblood roles and expectations, but Blaise is too much of a Slytherin to think that way. That is why he takes it for granted that love will not outweigh the need to make a proper marriage and carry on the bloodline." Snape smiled bitterly. "He knows his place, as they say."

Lupin shook his head. "Slytherin politics are too complicated for me, Sev." Then he smiled at Snape. "At least you're providing an example to your students that they don't have to follow the path that is expected of them."

Snape snorted. "That's what most of the parents call 'setting a bad example,' Lupin."

Lupin chuckled. "Well, now that the excitement's over, perhaps we should go back to our rooms, too."

"Yes," Snape sighed, "we should get some rest if we're to deal with Lady Selima and the Zabinis in the morning."

Lupin leered at him playfully. "I wasn't planning on getting any rest, at least not right away. I promised to pay you back for the dances, remember?"

"I'm not really in the mood now, Lupin," Snape said, still worrying about his mother.

"Severus," Lupin said patiently, "you'll still have to deal with your mother tomorrow whether we have sex or not. Wouldn't it be better to pass the time pleasantly than brood about it all night?" He nuzzled Snape's neck, then gently nibbled on his earlobe.

Snape sighed again, in a very different manner. "You do have a point, Lupin," he conceded in a husky voice. "Let's return to our quarters." Lupin nipped at his earlobe again, a little less gently, and Snape said, "Or we could just lock the door and stay here..."
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Dylan sighed as he headed back to the dorm with Blaise. He had finally figured out a way to spend some time alone with Hermione, but his plans had been ruined when the Ball was cut short. He had been very clever about it, too; Hermione wasn't the type of girl to make out in the rose bushes, and besides, only an idiot would make out there when Snape was bound to come along and start blasting bushes apart sooner or later. No, he had managed to persuade Dobby to give him the location of the Room of Requirement, telling him that he needed to prepare a special "Christmas surprise" for Hermione. And since Dobby worshipped Harry Potter, and by extension, Harry Potter's friends, the house-elf hadn't needed much convincing. It was perfect; somewhere private where no one was likely to find them, and he could create a beautiful, romantic setting just by wishing for it. He'd been planning on a cozy little room--nothing too fancy or ornate, which would likely only make Hermione feel nervous or intimidated--lit by numerous candles, and rose petals strewn across the floor and bed. He sighed again.

"Sorry to ruin your night, too," Blaise told him ruefully.

{If you only knew!} Dylan thought, but told his friend, "Don't worry, it's not your fault." He supposed he could always try again, but it wasn't often that they had an opportunity to sneak out of their dorms without anyone noticing, and he'd figured that it would be easy to slip away early tonight while everyone was preoccupied with the Ball and the dancing and flirting--students and teachers both. And the longer he waited, the more likely it would be that Dobby might let slip the fact that he'd told Dylan about the Room of Requirement, and that the teachers would find a way to secure it again. He definitely did not want anyone bursting in on them during an intimate moment! He felt a little irked that he might never get a chance to put his perfect plan into effect. Hermione didn't even know about it, since he hadn't been lying to Dobby about it being a "surprise". He brightened a little when he recalled that he now owned a mansion, since the Professor and Ms. De Lacy had won back the Rosier estate and title for him. Maybe during the summer, he could find an excuse to "inspect" his new property--with Hermione, of course. Of course, he'd still have to figure out a way for them to go there alone without anyone interfering, but it should be easier, since Hermione would no longer be a student, but an adult in a formal apprenticeship, and they'd be able to get their Apparition licenses, which would enable them to reach the mansion in the blink of an eye, and return home or to work just as quickly. Of course, the thought of waiting till summer was rather frustrating, but Dylan took a very Slytherin pleasure in inventing convoluted plots. And who knew, maybe another opportunity to use the Room of Requirement would arise after all...
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Theodore lay on his bed, brooding. He was angry, not with Blaise, but with himself. He'd been shocked when Blaise accused him of being ashamed of their relationship, and he realized that he'd somehow hurt Blaise without meaning to. He had thought they were happy together, but somewhere deep down, Blaise did not really trust him--which perhaps was justified, because he had not really trusted Blaise. He had always held a piece of himself back, even when they became lovers. He had told himself it was because there were secrets he had to keep, things that were too dangerous for Blaise to know, but that was only partly true. He had guarded himself for so long, from his parents, from his classmates, from the Death Eaters, that he didn't really know how to stop. He had confided in Blaise after the war ended, trying to be open with his best friend and lover, but he had still kept a few secrets back. His fear that Blaise would choose his family over him, for example, which ironically, was apparently the same fear Blaise had about him.

The door opened, and Blaise walked in, looking pale and shaken. "Theo, I'm sorry--" he started to say.

Theodore sat up and said, "No, I'm the one who should apologize."

"What for?" Blaise asked, looking confused. "I'm the one who made a spectacle of us in front of everyone at the Ball. You were right about the punch, you know. Snape said that someone spiked it with a potion."

"But you meant what you said," Theodore said softly. "Even if it was just a small part of you."

Blaise flushed, looking ashamed. "Yes," he whispered. "Snape said it was a variation of Truth Potion, something that loosens inhibitions. He called it a Potion of Liberation. Only I don't feel liberated. I feel stupid. I'm so, so sorry, Theodore. I know you love me, I really do. I just--"

Theodore reached out and took his hand, and Blaise sat on the bed beside him. "You were scared," Theodore said solemnly, "that I might choose my family over you."

Blaise laid his head on Theodore's shoulder. "I'm sorry," he repeated. "It's just that...I know what your real parents were like. And I know how much you love Snape and Lupin, how much it means to you that Snape adopted you. I was scared that you would give anything not to lose that."

"I don't want to lose Father or Lupin, but I don't want to lose you, either, you silly git," Theodore said, gently kissing the top of Blaise's head. "So what did Father say?"

Blaise looked up to meet Theodore's eyes. "He wasn't angry, although he is a little worried about what his mother is going to say. He and Lupin already suspected, but he was pretending not to know so that he didn't have to split us up." Blaise began looking upset again. "I'm sorry, Theo. He says I'm going to have to move out of our room tomorrow."

"I figured," Theodore said, sounding resigned.

"But he let us have tonight together," Blaise said, leaning against Theodore again. "It surprises me sometimes, how nice Snape can be."

Theodore laughed a little. "He says he's been hanging around the werewolf too long."

Blaise managed a smile. "I really am sorry, Theo. You're not mad at me?"

"Will you stop apologizing?" Theodore said. "I don't blame you. This is probably more my fault than yours."

"What do you mean?"

"I was scared of losing you, too," Theodore admitted. "I was scared that your parents would force you to choose between them and me."

"But I told you--"

"That they'd come around, I know, but I didn't really believe it. I mean, I know that you believed it, but...whether they run a junk shop or not, your parents are still purebloods. They'll want you to give them an heir. And they're your family, your blood..." Theodore's voice cracked a little. "How could you ever choose me over them?"

"I love you, Theo," Blaise said, cradling his lover's face between his hands. "I promise I will never, ever let anyone come between us. Not even my parents."

"I know why you don't trust me," Theodore whispered. "It's because I've always been holding part of myself back from you."

"I know," Blaise said with a sad smile. "There were times when it was like a wall would just come up between us, like before last year's Ball, when we were talking about the Death Eaters. And there are still times when I have no idea what's going on inside your head."

"I'm sorry," Theodore said, a pleading look in his eyes. "I don't mean to do it."

"I know," Blaise said, stroking his cheek.

"I'm trying not to. It's just...it's hard."

"I know," Blaise repeated. "I know it was hard for you to tell me all those things about your parents during the summer. It means a lot to me that you did."

"It's not just you," Theodore told him. "I didn't really trust Snape and Lupin, either. Not completely. Not until Snape told me that he wanted me to be his son."

Blaise sighed and wrapped his arms around Theodore. "I think our problem is that we have too much Slytherin in us for our own good. Slytherins are taught to trust no one, and to prize power and ambition and blood purity above all else. My father is a good man, but he can't ever forget how far the Zabini family has fallen. He feels ashamed of running a junk shop, but I certainly wouldn't want to trade places with Draco. We're not rich, but we make enough to get by, and we love each other. I think it would be better if my father could just let go of the past and be happy with what we have." Blaise smiled ironically. "Of course, the same goes for me. I was the one who accused you of being ashamed of me for being a Zabini. It's hard to forget your place in society when you live in Slytherin House. But truly, Theodore, I don't care about carrying on my bloodline. I'm a little sorry that I will never have children of my own, and I hope Allegra gets married someday and gives my father an heir, but even if she doesn't, I will never marry. Not even if the Zabini line dies out, not even if my father disowns me. I promise I will never take a wife, nor any lover but you."

"And I don't care about the Snape title or fortune," Theodore said, his voice and his body both trembling. "I don't need a title; as long as I'm the Professor's son, I'm happy. And as long as I'm with you. I love you, Blaise. I don't want anyone but you. I never have."

Blaise kissed him, and what was intended to be a gentle and comforting kiss soon turned quite heated, fueled by a deep sense of need and longing that the potion-fueled argument in the Great Hall had awakened in them: their need to each prove their love for the other, and be reassured of the other's love in turn.

They kissed and groped, fumbling with the fastenings on their robes. "Please, Blaise," Theodore said urgently, "make love to me."

Blaise suddenly stopped and pulled back, looking into Theodore's eyes. There had been a certain emphasis on the "to," as if he were making more than a general request for lovemaking.

Theodore seemed to understand his unspoken question, and nodded. "I want you to make love to me," he whispered. "I...I want you inside me."

"Are you sure?" Blaise asked hesitantly. Theodore always topped when they made love; they had tried it the other way around once, because Blaise was curious to know what it would be like, but Theodore had tensed up, and although he hadn't complained, had clearly been getting no pleasure out of the experience. Blaise had immediately stopped, and had never asked him to do it again. Blaise thought he understood the problem. He didn't think that Theodore's father had sexually abused him, but the things he'd done had been bad enough, and that, in combination with the way that Theo had been forced to play the role of lackey to Malfoy, had left him with an aversion to what he saw as a submissive position. Nearly everything in the lives of the Slytherins was a demonstration of power and status, dominance and submission, including, sometimes, sex. Blaise had heard all the old, quietly whispered rumors about how Draco's father had been a playboy when he was a student at Hogwarts, sleeping with both sexes indiscriminately, which wasn't really that unusual in Slytherin House. But Blaise was pretty damn sure that Lucius Malfoy was always the one doing the screwing--both literally and figuratively.

"Yes," Theodore replied, although he looked a bit nervous.

"You don't have to prove anything to me, Theo," Blaise told him tenderly. "Not ever."

"I know," Theodore whispered. "But I need to prove it to myself." He was determined not to hold anything back from Blaise anymore, to give himself up to Blaise completely. He was a little afraid, not so much of the physical act, but of letting down the walls inside him. But he knew that he if he didn't, he would eventually end up pushing Blaise away and hurting him again.

"All right," Blaise said, kissing him gently. "But we can stop anytime you want." A rising surge of desire protested against that statement slightly, but he firmly reigned it in. Theodore nodded, his green eyes looking vulnerable, and somehow both frightened and determined at the same time. Fear meant weakness to a Slytherin, and a Slytherin never showed his weaknesses to anyone. Theodore rarely ever let his guard down this far, and Blaise knew he was doing it deliberately, to show his trust, and Blaise was moved by it.

"I love you, Theo," Blaise said, and kissed him again, long and slow, and felt his lover begin to relax a little. He was determined to make this pleasurable for Theo, and not just something to be endured and gotten over with. No--not just pleasurable, he wanted to make Theo cry out in ecstasy, to make him feel as good as Theo always made Blaise feel when they made love. He took out his wand and cast a silence spell on the room, finished undressing the two of them, and proceeded to make love to Theo.

He took his time about it, caressing Theo in a way that was more soothing than arousing, lightly running his hands along Theo's arms and then down his chest, planting feather-light kisses all over his face and neck. When Theo began to relax and return the caresses, Blaise let his hands and mouth move more purposefully, his fingers lightly brushing against Theo's nipples, teasing them into hardness, his mouth closing over each one in turn as Theo gasped and arched his back, twining his fingers in Blaise's hair.

Blaise trailed kisses down Theo's chest and belly, then gently pushed apart Theo's legs and began stroking his inner thighs. "Just do it already," Theodore said, his voice hoarse and ragged. Despite the curtness of those words, Blaise could hear the desire in his lover's voice, so he reached into the nightstand drawer for the vial of lavender oil they kept there--ostensibly for use in Potions class, although they also found other, more personal uses for it. Theo tensed and trembled a little as Blaise's oil-coated fingers ran gently along the cleft of his buttocks until they brushed against the entrance to his body. Blaise didn't try to enter him right away, instead lightly rubbing and circling the opening, until Theo began to squirm with anticipation rather than apprehension. Only then did he slowly ease one finger inside and ask, "Are you okay?"

"Y-yeah," Theodore said in a breathy voice, his green eyes wide but no longer fearful. "It feels a little weird, but it doesn't hurt."

"Good," Blaise said, kissing him, and began to move his finger in very slow, steady strokes.

It felt a little uncomfortable at first, more strange and embarrassing than painful. Blaise moved very slowly and gently, obviously taking care not to hurt or alarm him, and Theodore sighed when he felt Blaise's lips brush against the side of his neck. He relaxed a little more, and that rhythmic, in-and-out motion started to feel good, almost soothing. He felt a second finger pushing into him, stretching him open wider, and he gasped and tensed a little. Blaise paused and raised his head to look at him, a question in his eyes. Theodore took a deep breath, then slowly let it out, forcing himself to relax. "It's okay," he whispered. Blaise continued, still moving slowly and gently at first, then gradually beginning to probe a little deeper. His fingers brushed against something inside Theodore that sent a sudden, white-hot burst of pleasure through his body, and he cried out in surprise, his hips snapping up off the bed in an involuntary reaction.

"That's it," Blaise said with a satisfied smile, and raked his fingers over that spot again. Theodore moaned, and instead of lying passively on the bed, began lifting his hips to meet Blaise's thrusting fingers. Each thrust sent another surge of pleasure through him, and Theodore groaned loudly. Merlin, it felt so good! He'd done this to Blaise before, of course, and theoretically knew it was pleasurable, from Blaise's reaction and the books he'd read (found hidden behind a secret panel when he was exploring a dusty corner of the Nott Manor library one day; he often wondered which ancestor had left them there). But he'd had no idea what it really felt like; secretly, the idea of allowing someone to do that to him had felt a little distasteful, a little shameful, although he knew that made him a hypocrite since he had no problem with doing the same thing to Blaise. But now he moaned wantonly and shamelessly, rocking his hips back and forth, trying to drive Blaise's fingers in deeper. He was already achingly hard without Blaise even needing to touch him; he almost felt as if he could come from this alone. When he felt a third finger slide into him, he cried out, "Stop, stop!"

Blaise immediately sat up and pulled his hand away, and Theodore moaned softly, feeling suddenly empty and bereft. "What's wrong?" Blaise asked anxiously. "Did I hurt you?"

"No, sorry," Theodore said, smiling sheepishly; he hadn't meant to startle Blaise that way. "It's just..." His face turned red. "If you keep doing that, I'm going to come, and I don't want to. Not yet." He lowered his eyes, and his voice dropped to a whisper. "I want to come with you inside me."

"Oh!" Blaise exclaimed, and reached for the vial of oil again, with such haste that he nearly spilled it. Theo was blushing, looking shy and slightly embarrassed, which Blaise found cute and a little amusing, since this was hardly the first time they were making love...except that, in a way, it was. He poured the sweet-smelling oil into his palm and spread it over his erection, not bothering to repress a little gasp of pleasure. Theo's flush deepened, but the shyness seemed to vanish as his eyes dilated and went a little glassy with lust. His tongue darted out and ran across lips, and Blaise leaned over and whispered in a husky voice, "God, I love it when you do that." Theo did not seem to be aware of what he had just done, because he looked a little puzzled, but before he could ask what "that" was, Blaise sealed his mouth over Theo's, sliding his tongue between Theo's lips. They kissed hungrily, tongues entwining around each other, until they finally had to come up panting for air.

"Ready?" Blaise whispered, and Theo nodded. He gently pushed Theo's legs apart and knelt between them, sliding his hands beneath Theo's body and cupping his buttocks. Theo suddenly moaned and raised his hips, spreading his legs wider, without any further prompting from Blaise. Blaise found himself licking his own lips.

Theodore moaned again, staring at him with imploring eyes. "Please, Blaise," he whispered.

Blaise had never seen Theo like this before, completely open and vulnerable, with all of his defenses cast aside. It was touching...and incredibly intoxicating. He positioned himself and pushed into Theo, biting his lower lip and forcing himself to move slowly, fighting the urge to simply shove into his lover with one swift, hard thrust, the way his body was clamoring for him to do.

Despite Theodore's desire, it still hurt a little when Blaise entered him, and his body automatically tensed up before he could stop it, fighting against the intrusion. Blaise stopped moving and asked, "Does it hurt?"

"Yeah, but just a little," Theodore replied. "It's no big deal." He reminded himself that the hexes his father had cast on him over the years had been far more painful, although nothing Thaddeus had done had ever made him feel as vulnerable as this did, allowing another person, even someone he loved, to enter his body. He wanted this, but it scared him a little--or maybe what scared him was how much he wanted it. "It's nothing compared to a Cruciatus Curse," he said without thinking, trying more to convince himself than Blaise.

"You idiot," Blaise said, the affection in his voice belying his words. "This isn't Physical Defense class or one of Snape's exams. We're not trying to just get through this with the minimum amount of pain. I can't get any pleasure out of this if I'm hurting you. I don't want you to feel just a little pain, or even no pain. I want to make you feel good. As good as I feel when you make love to me" He kissed Theo tenderly, then said, "I love you, Theo," trying to project all of his love through his voice and his face.

It seemed that he succeeded, because Theo gasped, a look of incredulous joy spreading across his face as his eyes filled with tears. He seemed to open himself up to Blaise, body and soul, because Blaise suddenly found himself sliding easily into his lover without any further resistance. He moaned as he felt himself encompassed by the heat of his lover's body.

Theodore moaned as Blaise slid inside him. It was a strange feeling, similar to but not exactly the same as the sensation of Blaise's fingers moving inside him; he felt full and stretched to his limits, hovering on the brink of pain. Yet at the same time, the feeling of being so physically connected to his lover felt incredibly intimate and exciting. Of course, there was also a feeling of connectedness when he penetrated Blaise during their lovemaking; again, similar and yet oh so different at the same time.

Blaise moved, panting heavily, in slow, shallow strokes. "Am I hurting you?" he whispered.

It hurt a little, but it also felt good, so Theodore lied and said, "No." And the lie became truth as that slight burning, stinging sensation gradually melted into a totally different kind of heat, a kind of burning, aching need. Blaise seemed to sense his desire, because he started thrusting deeper, until he hit the same spot his fingers had found earlier. Theodore moaned wildly, shoving his hips upward into Blaise's thrusts, wrapping his legs around Blaise's waist, trying to pull him in deeper. He completely forgot about pride and shame, fear and pain. Nothing mattered to him at all but the intense surge of pleasure that rushed through his body every time Blaise thrust into him. Nothing mattered but the need to satisfy that aching desire inside of him.

Blaise thought that the sensation of Theo's long legs wrapped tightly around his waist was unbelievably erotic, not to mention the way that Theo was moaning and writhing with abandon beneath him. He forgot about being gentle, and completely lost control of himself, thrusting hard and fast into his lover's body. If Theo felt any pain, he didn't show it, pushing up to meet Blaise's thrusts with just as much urgency. "Blaise, Blaise, oh God, please Blaise, please," he moaned frantically, his words tumbling over each other incoherently.

Not that Blaise was much more coherent himself. There was little room left for thought in his mind as he slammed hard into his lover's willing body, over and over again, so he settled for simply whispering, "Love you, Theo, love you so much." As he continued to thrust, he felt Theo's erection rubbing against his stomach; Theo arched his body up, as if he were trying to increase the friction between them. So Blaise reached down to stroke Theo, and suddenly he felt something warm and wet and sticky spilling into his hand and across his belly, and then Blaise was coming too, as Theo's body shuddered beneath and around him.

They collapsed on the bed in a sweaty tangle of limbs. "Oh. My. God." Theodore gasped.

"So was it good for you, too, love?" Blaise asked with a grin, nuzzling Theodore's cheek.

"No," Theodore replied, and Blaise looked hurt. "It was better than good," Theodore continued, still sounding a little out of breath. "It was absolutely amazing."

Blaise laughed in relief and wrapped his arms tightly around Theo. "Good. It was amazing for me, too."

"So is that what it feels like for you?" Theodore asked, gently running a finger down Blaise's cheek. "When I make love to you?"

Blaise caught Theo's hand and brought it to his lips, kissing the fingertips. "Well, I can't say for sure without using Legilimency," he joked, "but judging by your reaction, I'd say 'yes'."

"So did you like it?" Theodore asked with a sly smile. "Being on top?"

Blaise blushed and pretended to be offended. "You mean you couldn't tell? Merlin, what does it take to convince you?!" Theodore laughed. "Of course I liked it, you silly git," Blaise said, giving him a kiss. "But I also like feeling you inside me."

"We could take turns," Theodore suggested whimsically.

"Or flip a coin," Blaise said, grinning.

"I'm not flipping a coin with you," Theodore said with mock-indignation. "You're a Slytherin, and everyone knows that Slytherins cheat." They both laughed.

"Actually, I don't think it will be a problem," Blaise said ruefully, "since I doubt that we'll have many opportunities to have sex after tonight, at least until we graduate."

Theodore shifted his weight, pushing Blaise onto his back and rolling on top of him. "Then I guess we shouldn't waste any time tonight," he murmured, pressing his lips against Blaise's throat.

 

Part 90