Aftermaths, Part 43

by Geri ([email protected])

Rating: Mostly PG-13, but NC-17 for overall story

Pairing: Snape/Lupin, Theodore/Blaise

Warning: AU; events that occurred at the end of Order of the Phoenix were significantly altered from the book.

Sequel to: Always, Summer Vacation, For Old Time's Sake, Three's a Crowd, Return of the Raven, Phoenix Reborn, and Phoenix Rising.

Summary: The various characters deal with the aftermath of the war, and Snape and Lupin try to build a family together with Theodore and Dylan. However, some people are unable to let go of the past...

Author's note: {} Indicates character's unspoken thoughts.

Disclaimer: Characters belong to J.K. Rowling, except Hob, who belongs to William Mayne; no money is being made off this story; consider it a little wish fulfillment on my part.
__________________________________________________________________________________________________

Snape heard a knock on the door of his workroom, and he called out, "Come in." He looked up and saw his son enter the room. "Ah, Theodore!" he said, surprised but happy to see the boy. "What can I do for you?"

"Actually, I was wondering if there was something I could do for you," Theodore replied. "I stopped by your quarters--we were supposed to continue the chess game, remember?"

"Yes, that's right," Snape said. "I need to finish this potion first, though; I wasn't expecting you this early."

"Yes, sir," Theodore said. "Remus told me you were working on that potion for your father. Can I do anything to help?"

Snape hesitated; the potion called for very specific amounts of certain poisonous ingredients--not the sort of thing he'd normally turn over to a student, but he didn't want to hurt Theodore's feelings by implying that he didn't trust him. "Not with this potion," Snape replied. "But the full moon is coming up soon, and Lupin will need to start taking the Wolfsbane Potion tomorrow. It would be a great help to me if you could get a batch started."

"You trust me to work on it by myself?" Theodore exclaimed, looking very proud but also a little intimidated.

"Yes," Snape said, although he felt a brief moment of uncertainty, which quickly passed when he realized how often Theodore had worked on the potion over the past several months. "You've brewed it in class last term and at home under my supervision this summer; I think you should be familiar with the process by now. You're a very competent student, and I'll be right here if you have any questions. Besides, since the potion is for Remus, I know you'll take great care in preparing it."

"Yes, sir!" Theodore said, his eyes shining with pride and happiness. "I'll be very careful; I won't let you down, I promise!"

Snape smiled, still feeling touched and a little bemused by the fact that a few words of praise from him could affect the boy so deeply. "Very well, then; get to work, Mr. No...ah..." He hesitated, then finished awkwardly, "...Mr. Snape." It felt very strange to be addressing someone else by that name, but it was worth the effort when Theodore rewarded him with a warm smile.

"Yes, sir!" he said, and immediately got to work filling a cauldron with water.

"Actually," Snape said as something occurred to him, "you'd better make double the normal batch. I almost forgot that Master Bleddri will be needing the potion as well."

"Yes, sir," Theodore said. He added more water, set the cauldron over the fire to boil, then began grinding dried aconite leaves to a powder with a mortar and pestle.

"Where is Mr. Rosier?" Snape asked.

"Oh, he had a study date with Granger," Theodore replied. "He said he'd stop by afterwards."

Snape sighed a little as he stirred his potion; why couldn't the boy have fallen in love with a nice Slytherin girl...Miss Avery, for example? He tried to console himself with the fact that at least Granger was an intelligent girl and a good Potions student; he supposed things could be worse--at least she wasn't an incompetent like Potter or Weasley or Longbottom.

"I thought you just sent a batch of the Pain's Ease Potion to your mother yesterday morning," Theodore said curiously. "I didn't think you'd need to make another batch so soon."

"The potion doesn't keep well," Snape explained. "It begins to lose its efficacy if it's stored for more than a couple of days, so it's better to brew it up fresh."

"I see," Theodore said. "Well, if you need any help, please let us know. I know you probably want to brew it yourself because of the hemlock and hellebore, but maybe Dylan and I could at least help prepare the ingredients for you."

"Thank you," Snape said sincerely. "Perhaps I'll take you up on your offer." He was impressed by Theodore's common sense, and pleased to have an excuse to spend more time with his sons.

"By the way, sir," Theodore said casually as he continued to work on the Wolfsbane Potion, "I heard that Uncle Terrence stopped by to see you yesterday."

"I see that gossip travels as quickly as ever," Snape observed with a faint smile.

"Did you show him the paper I signed, surrendering my claim to the Nott estate?"

"Indeed I did," Snape said, still smiling.

"I guess he was happy, then, to find out that he'd inherit the estate?"

Snape's smile widened and turned downright smug. "Not quite so happy once I told him that you didn't need to bother with that 'piddling little estate' now that you are the Snape heir."

Theodore laughed. "I wish I could have seen his face!" Then his face took on a look of spiteful satisfaction. "I'm glad the Ministry levied that thousand-Galleon fine on the estate; I only wish they'd taken more."

Snape cackled and gave his son an approving nod. "I had the same thought; great minds think alike, it seems." Theodore laughed, and Snape was pleased to see him looking happy and at ease after all the recent unpleasantness with the Dietrich boy. He supposed that Lupin was right--as usual--about the adoption being the right thing to do, after all, and suddenly dealing with his parents seemed like a small price to pay in order to see Theodore smile.

By the time the potions were done brewing and left to cool (in the case of the Pain's Ease Potion) or to simmer (in the case of the Wolfsbane Potion), Dylan was waiting for them with Lupin when they returned to Snape's quarters. As they resumed the chess game, Snape was filled with such a sense of contentment that he didn't even object when Lupin snuggled up to him and laid his head on Snape's shoulder.
__________________________________________________________________________________________________

Damien and Blaise as they were studying together in the Slytherin common room when a group of their female housemates came up to them. "Where are Dylan and Theodore?" Pansy asked.

"They went over to Professor Snape's quarters," Blaise replied.

"What for?" asked Yvonne, the look on her face plainly saying that she couldn't imagine why anyone would want to spend their free time hanging out with Snape.

"Theodore has just been adopted by the Professor," Blaise explained patiently. "Of course he wants to spend some time with his father."

"Oh, of course," Yvonne said, waving her hand dismissively; Theodore didn't interest her. "But what about Dylan? Snape didn't adopt him."

"The Professors are his foster parents," Blaise said. "He enjoys spending time with them."

"What do you care, anyway?" Damien asked. "He's going out with Granger now."

Yvonne pouted and Pansy sighed wistfully, "I know, but we still miss having him around."

"It's not as much fun without Dylan around," one of the younger girls added. Although Dylan had never dated any of the Slytherin girls, he had still flirted casually with them, dispensing his attentions more-or-less equally among all of them, which they had enjoyed even though they would have liked things to have gone further.

"I'm always available, ladies!" Damien declared with his most flirtatious grin.

"You're such a flirt, Pierce," Pansy said, rolling her eyes.

"Why, thank you," Damien said proudly.

"I don't think she meant it as a compliment," Millicent said dryly.

"Hey, I take what I can get!" Damien said cheerfully, and the girls all laughed. Blaise laughed with them, but secretly he missed having Dylan and Theo around, too--Theo especially. He was grateful to Lupin and Snape for everything they had done: for protecting the Slytherins from the Death Eaters, for giving Theo and Dylan a home, and especially for convincing his father to allow him to continue his friendship with Theo. It would be selfish to begrudge Theo the time he spent with his new family, but still, he missed the time he usually spent with Theo in the evening.

Much later that night, Blaise lay awake in bed watching his sleeping lover. Theodore's face was relaxed and peaceful, with none of the tension or sullenness it was normally filled with during his waking hours. Blaise gently pushed a lock of black hair back from Theo's face. Over the summer, his hair had reached shoulder-length and his bangs had grown to the point where they kept falling into his eyes but were not quite long enough to be tucked behind his ears. Blaise had discouraged Theo from cutting it, though, because it gave him a convenient excuse to reach out and brush Theo's hair back whenever they were alone together; he loved running his hands through Theo's hair. Blaise knew that Theodore thought of himself as ugly, or at best plain, which puzzled and saddened Blaise, because he thought his lover was very handsome. He was, of course, a bit biased, but he loved Theodore's hair, which was a deep, glossy black--the same color as Bane's feathers, although he wasn't sure that Theo would appreciate being compared to Blackmore's demonic bird. He gently ran a finger along Theo's high, angular cheekbones, which Blaise thought made him look quite distinguished and aristocratic, although other people seemed to think of him as being sharp-featured, an image unfortunately enhanced by the scowl Theo wore so often. He did in fact look a bit like Professor Snape now that Blaise thought about it, although perhaps he was being influenced by the fact that he now knew that Theo had Snape blood. At least he didn't have Snape's nose, Blaise thought with a smile, although of course he still would have loved Theo if he had. Blaise let his fingertips trail down Theo's cheek, admiring his lover's smooth, pale, unblemished skin. Theodore really did have a beautiful complexion, although he would have laughed if anyone had told him that. He'd never gone through that phase that most teenagers did, of having oily skin or breakouts of blemishes--usually at inopportune times, such as right before a date.

But Theo's best feature, Blaise thought, was his eyes: dark and intense, a very odd shade of green tinged with a hint of gray; moss-green Blaise liked to call it, although Theo always self-deprecatingly referred to it as muddy or murky. Blaise thought his eyes were unique, with hidden depths, much like Theodore himself. Blaise gently kissed the lids covering those eyes; Theo sighed and stirred a little, but did not wake.

"I wish you could see yourself through my eyes, Theo," Blaise whispered. "Then you would see how beautiful you are." He and Theodore had been roommates since they had both entered Hogwarts, but it taken him years to really get to know Theo, and even now he sometimes felt as if he didn't truly know his lover. Theo had always been taciturn and guarded, from the moment he entered Hogwarts. Blaise had known that Theodore belonged to a prominent pureblood family and was the son of an alleged Death Eater, so he was not surprised that Theodore spent most of his time hanging around with Draco Malfoy and his cronies. Nor was he surprised when Theodore mostly ignored him in public; he didn't expect a Nott to associate with someone from as low-ranking a family as Blaise's. He had been somewhat surprised that Theodore was always polite to him in private, though, and eventually he had noticed that while Theodore always hung around with Draco, ran errands for him, laughed at all his jokes, and echoed his insults about Mudbloods, he rarely took an active role in the cruel pranks and bullying that Draco instigated, although Crabbe and Goyle did. It had seemed more like he was going along with what Draco did because he had to, not because he wanted to. Very slowly, they had begun building up a tentative friendship: Blaise had noticed Theodore struggling with his Arithmancy homework one night in their room, and had offered to help; Theodore had returned the favor a few days later by helping Blaise with a difficult Potions assignment. Gradually, Theodore had unbent enough to make harmless small talk with Blaise when they were alone in their room together, discussing Quidditch or complaining about their teachers, although Blaise had carefully avoided complaining about Snape, another alleged Death Eater who clearly favored Draco and his companions. Blaise would sometimes talk about his family, and Theodore would listen with a slightly wistful air, but never discussed his own family, and had always looked gloomy when he had to return home for Christmas or summer vacations. During their third year, Blaise had gotten sick and missed one of their Hogsmeade days, and Theodore had brought back some candy from Honeydukes for him. When Blaise had thanked him, Theodore had merely shrugged and muttered, "No big deal," but Blaise had been touched by the gesture. Still, Theodore never acknowledged their friendship in public, a situation Blaise had resigned himself to; he hadn't really blamed Theodore, it was simply the way things worked in the world of pureblood politics. But all that changed when Dylan came to Hogwarts...

Dylan, another son of a Death Eater, had immediately become part of Draco's inner circle. But unlike the other Slytherins who were all cowed by Draco, Dylan had been able to somehow maintain a certain degree of independence without offending Malfoy; Blaise was still not exactly sure how he had done it, but whenever Draco began showing signs of resentment, Dylan had always been able to disarm him with a little charm and flattery. It also helped that Draco had been distracted by his escalating feud with Harry Potter. Blaise had been wary of Dylan at first, but he was so charming that it was impossible to dislike him. Unlike Draco, Dylan was friendly to everyone and not at all arrogant, and like Theodore, never seemed to actively take part in Draco's pranks and taunts. Although Dylan had catered to Draco as most of the Slytherins did, he had quickly formed his own circle of friends: his roommate Damien Pierce, Theodore, and Blaise. And suddenly, it seemed to be all right for Theodore to hang out with Blaise and acknowledge him in public. Draco never gave them a hard time about it, although he had once casually asked Dylan why he and Theodore were "hanging out so much with Pierce and Zabini". Dylan had replied that it was only natural, since Damien and Blaise were their roommates, and Draco had just shrugged indifferently, and for the most part left them alone. That year, Blaise's fourth, was when he and Theodore had started to grow closer and become best friends, and when Theodore had relaxed enough to tell his friends to call him by his nickname, Theo; Blaise had been calling him by his full name for the past three years before that.

Their fifth and sixth years had been fraught with tension caused by the ever-increasing threat of the Death Eaters, but there had been moments of happiness as well. His sweetest and most vivid memory by far was the night he had discovered that Theo was in love with him, the night they had shared their first kiss--and a little more...
__________________________________________________________________________________________________

One night during their usual study session, Dylan was telling his friends about an odd encounter he'd had with Serafina Avery in the library. It was a bit shocking that she'd spoken to him at all, considering that she never said anything in class unless called on by a teacher, and spoke even less outside of the classroom.

"I told you she had a crush on you, Dylan!" Damien laughed, then said scornfully, "Eh, you can do better than that, though, when you've got girls like Lisa Turpin or the Patil sisters drooling over you. Avery's kind of scrawny and plain-looking."

Damien was for the most part a nice person, but he was a bit shallow when it came to women. Blaise felt an urge to stick up for Serafina, even though he barely knew her himself, just on principle, so he said casually, "She's got nice eyes." It was true; her eyes were a striking, very beautiful shade of blue-violet. Blaise didn't think that she was really homely; it was more that she took no interest in her appearance, and that her emotionless expression and her talent for hexes tended to put people off.

"Ah, so that's your type, is it?" Damien teased. "Too bad she's hung up on Dylan!" Blaise just smiled and shook his head.

"She's not hung up on me," Dylan protested.

"The girl's a freak!" Theodore snapped, scowling fiercely.

Blaise raised his eyebrows and said mildly, "Well, you don't have to be mean about it, Theo." It was very unlike Theo to make nasty comments like that, at least when Draco wasn't around. And even then, all he did was echo Draco's insults about the Gryffindors; he had never shown any particular hostility towards Serafina before. In fact, for the most part, Serafina and Theo simply ignored each other, despite the fact that their fathers were friends and fellow Death Eaters, and that most of the Slytherin girls seemed to think that the two would be betrothed once they came of age. Theodore made no mention of an arranged marriage, but then again, he never talked much about his family, and Blaise didn't ask, perhaps because he was afraid the rumor might be true. As to why the thought of Theodore making an arranged marriage bothered him so much...well, Blaise chose not to examine those feelings too closely.

"Well, she IS weird," Theodore muttered sullenly. "She never says anything, just stares at you with that freaky look on her face, like you're one of the specimens in Snape's jars..."

"You have nice eyes, too, Theo," Damien cooed, batting his eyelashes playfully. "No need to be jealous!"

"Oh, bugger off, Pierce!" Theodore snarled, his face turning red.

"Jeez, some people just can't take a joke," Damien muttered, sounding a little hurt.

Damien had unwittingly hit the nail on the head; Blaise suddenly realized that the sharpness in Theo's voice was not his usual sullenness, but rather jealousy. He gave Theodore a puzzled look as he asked Dylan, "So what did she say to you, anyway?" in an attempt to distract his friends and head off an argument between Theo and Damien.

As Dylan began explaining how Serafina had walked in on an argument between himself and Hermione Granger in the library, Blaise continued thinking about Theo and why he might be jealous of Serafina. All he had done was say that she had nice eyes...and then the most logical explanation occurred to him. He felt like his head was spinning, but he managed to carry on the conversation with his friends without anyone noticing anything out of the ordinary. Theodore calmed down, and seemed a little embarrassed about his earlier outburst. But even as he laughed and joked with the other boys, Blaise kept glancing at Theodore, wondering if Theo really did like him as more than a friend. The thought did not disturb as him much as he might have expected it to; in fact, he felt a little twinge of satisfaction at the thought of Theo being jealous of him being attracted to someone else, and Blaise was not normally the type to take pleasure in another person's unhappiness, especially his best friend's. He glanced at Theo again, but his friend seemed to be trying to avoid his gaze, which was probably a good thing, because otherwise he might have noticed that Blaise was staring at his lips, wondering what it would feel like to kiss them. Blaise felt his mouth grow dry and his face grow warm, and quickly looked away.

He couldn't talk to Theo about this in front of Dylan and Damien, of course, and he found himself waiting impatiently for bedtime to arrive so that he could talk to Theo alone. But once it did, he found himself feeling tongue-tied and unsure of himself. If he brought it up and he was wrong, he would feel like an idiot, and more importantly, it might make Theo feel uncomfortable, which would put a strain on their friendship. But still, by the way Theo was continuing to avoid his gaze, he thought he was probably right. He was still debating with himself over whether to say anything or not as they brushed their teeth, put on their pajamas, and climbed into bed.

"Goodnight, Theo," Blaise said.

"'Night, Blaise," Theo muttered as he rolled over on his side, turning away from Blaise to face the wall. After a moment, he asked hesitantly, "Say...Blaise?"

"Hmm?"

"Do you...fancy Serafina?" Theo asked, in a tone of voice that attempted to be casual but came out sounding rather forced.

"No," Blaise replied. "Why do you ask? Because I said that about her eyes?"

"Yeah," Theodore mumbled. "Forget I asked. I was just curious."

"Well, they are a very unusual color; very striking. But I don't like her that way. I don't really know her well enough to like or dislike her; she never talks to me, or anyone else." Now Blaise was sure that he was right about Theo liking him as more than a friend. Theodore remained silent, still staring at the wall, and Blaise realized that the next move was going to be up to him. He took a deep breath, then got out of bed and crossed the room to sit on the edge of Theo's bed.

He reached out and gently touched Theo's shoulder, then said playfully, "I like your eyes, too, Theo."

Theodore scowled at him. "You and Damien can stop making fun of me," he snapped.

"I'm not making fun of you," Blaise said seriously. "I do like your eyes, they're a really unique shade of green. Not bright green like a leaf, but more..." He hesitated, trying to find the right words.

"Murky. Muddy. Ugly," Theodore said sullenly. "One of my cousins once told me they looked like swamp water."

Blaise shook his head. "Moss-green," he said. "It makes me think of someplace dark and cool and quiet and peaceful, like a forest."

"Obviously you've never been in the Forbidden Forest, if you think a forest is peaceful," Theodore grumbled, but he sounded pleased. "Not bad, though--that was almost poetic. Though I doubt many poets write odes to moss."

"At least your eyes are an interesting color," Blaise said lightly. "Not like mine. Brown is just so...well...ordinary. Nothing poetic about brown. I mean you can say 'as blue as the sky' or 'green as emeralds'. What's brown besides dirt?"

Theodore suddenly stared directly into Blaise's eyes. "Brown? Hmm...let's see...how about chocolate?"

"Chocolate?" Blaise laughed; that was certainly a comparison that had never occurred to him before!

"Yes, chocolate," Theodore said firmly. "Rich and dark and sweet as a bar of Honeyduke's finest." Then he fell silent, seeming to be embarrassed; it was hard to tell in the dark, but he seemed to be blushing.

"Theo?" Blaise asked gently.

"Yeah?" Theodore replied, sounding gruff and defensive, yet vulnerable and a little frightened at the same time.

Blaise leaned close and asked softly, "Do you...fancy me?" He said it almost jokingly, but he was dead serious, and he felt his heart racing as he waited for Theo's answer; it seemed to be pounding loudly enough for the entire dorm to hear.

"Yes," Theodore croaked in a hoarse whisper, as if struggling to get the word out, and Blaise, feeling dizzy and weak with relief, leaned forward and kissed him. Blaise had kissed a few girls before at parties--not many, because most Slytherin girls wouldn't waste their time on a boy whose family had no influence and no money--but those kisses had been brief and awkward and unsatisfying, and had left him wondering what the point of it was. But this kiss was everything those others had not been: sweet and intoxicating and...well...perfect. Theodore's lips were soft and warm, and their mouths seemed to fit together as if they'd been made just for each other. Theo wrapped his arms around Blaise and pulled him close, returning the kiss hungrily. Theo's tongue tentatively probed at his mouth and Blaise eagerly parted his lips; a moment later Theo's tongue was caressing and entwining with Blaise's. Theo ran his hands up and down Blaise's back, then slowly slipped his hands under Blaise's pajama top, and Blaise gasped, breaking off the kiss. Theodore instantly froze, and Blaise kissed him again, hoping that would encourage him to continue. It worked, and the sensation of Theo's hands gliding along Blaise's bare skin sent a blaze of heat through his body that went straight to his groin. He gasped again and returned the caress, sliding his own hands beneath Theo's pajamas, reveling in the feel of Theo's smooth, warm skin beneath his hands.

Theo's hands continued their exploration of Blaise's body, although Theo paused between each caress, looking anxiously at Blaise, as if asking for permission. Blaise tried to reassure him by responding to each touch and kiss with one of his own. Blaise felt Theo's hands slide down his back, across his waist, and up his chest, deliberately brushing against his nipples, which instantly hardened. Blaise's breath caught in his throat, and for a moment he forgot to breathe. Then, as Theo hesitated, his hands still resting on Blaise's chest, Blaise returned the caress, imitating the way Theo's hands had moved across his own body, and delighted in the way Theo's nipples hardened in response to his touch, and in the way Theo's dark green eyes widened as a soft, involuntary gasp of pleasure escaped his lips. Blaise smiled and sealed Theo's mouth with a kiss, and their tongues twined and darted around each other once more. Theo's hands drifted back down Blaise's chest, lazily rubbing against his nipples again along the way, causing Blaise to whimper a little, then rested on his stomach for a moment before Theo very slowly and hesitantly started to slide one hand beneath the elastic waistband of Blaise's pajama bottoms.

The heat Blaise had felt when Theo had first started caressing him was nothing compared to what he felt now, and he groaned so loudly and eagerly that Theodore finally seemed assured that his touch was welcome. Blaise groaned again as Theo's hand closed around his burgeoning erection and moved slowly up and down the shaft. Theo laughed breathlessly, then reached over to grab his wand from the nightstand and cast a silence spell on the room. "We don't want the entire dorm to hear us, after all," he whispered into Blaise's ear.

Blaise whimpered impatiently, wondering how his friend was able to retain enough composure to think about such mundane and practical things at a moment like this, although he supposed he should be grateful for it, because otherwise they would be the talk of the Slytherin dorm in the morning. Or maybe not--the room next to them belonged to Crabbe and Goyle, who always slept like logs. Then Theodore resumed what he had been doing before the interruption, and all rational thought flew out of Blaise's head. Blaise reached out to touch Theo, a little hesitantly--he had never touched another boy this way before--but quickly grew even more excited when he could feel how hard Theo already was, even through the cloth of his pajamas (which was, after all, not very thick). And suddenly they were both struggling out of their clothes, which were quickly tossed aside, and were running their hands all over each other's bodies with no more hesitation or shyness. Blaise had no experience with this, but he tried to touch Theodore the way he liked to touch himself (furtively, at night, at home with his bedroom door locked against his sweet but nosy sister, or occasionally under the covers in his dorm room, but very quietly and only when he was certain that Theo was asleep). Theo certainly responded enthusiastically enough, moaning and thrusting into Blaise's hand, and Blaise responded with equal passion to Theo's touch. The mechanics were the same, but this was a thousand times more intense than his solitary masturbation sessions, during which he sometimes tried to picture one of his pretty female classmates, but those mental images had never done much to excite him--probably because, he now realized, it was not a girl at all but Theo that he wanted. Blaise and Theo were both too excited and keyed up to last for long, and climaxed within a few minutes. Blaise felt warm stickiness spilling into his hand, and then he came as well, crying out, "Oh God, Theo, I love you!"

"Wh-what?" Theo stammered, his eyes going wide with shock.

The words had slipped out without his intending to say them, but they were true, Blaise realized. He had loved Theo for nearly two years now, ever since they had become best friends, and had not noticed the precise moment when platonic love had changed into something deeper. "I'm sorry," Blaise said. "I know it's a bit sudden, and I don't expect you to say it back." {Yet,} he silently added, {though I hope you will eventually.} Aloud, he continued, "I didn't mean to say it right at this moment; it just sort of slipped out, but it's true. I do love you."

Theodore laughed shakily. "Are you sure it's not just, well, the heat of the moment? Sex makes people say and do crazy things..."

"I'm not crazy," Blaise said firmly, "and I do love you. It's not just about sex, Theo. You're my dearest friend, the person I trust most in the world, and even if we decided to just be friends and never had sex again, I would still love you." Despite his words, the thought of going back to being "just friends" filled him with a sense of emptiness, and he grinned and cracked a joke to cover up that sudden feeling of despair. "Though I hope we will. Have sex in the future, I mean; lots of it." Theodore suddenly began to weep. "Theo!" Blaise said in alarm. "What's wrong?" He mentally kicked himself for letting that impulsive declaration of love slip out; he had moved too fast for Theo and screwed everything up...

But Theo was gasping between sobs, "I love you, too...I've wanted you...for so long...but I never thought...you'd feel the same way...oh, Blaise..."

Overwhelmed by relief, Blaise pulled Theo close and held him tightly, heedless of their sticky hands. "I love you, Theo," he whispered fiercely. "I'll always love you." He kissed away the tears running down Theo's face, the taste of salt filling his mouth. "I'm sorry it took me so long to realize that."
__________________________________________________________________________________________________

Blaise smiled down at his sleeping lover, the memory of that first encounter filling him with a sense of tenderness; it was that memory he called upon when he needed to summon a Patronus. He leaned down to kiss Theo on the cheek, and he realized that it was not the extra time Theo spent with Lupin and Snape in the evening that bothered him so much as it was the fear of losing Theo. When Theo's parents had been alive, Blaise had known in the back of his mind that someday they would arrange a marriage for Theo, probably to Serafina, but he had tried not to think about it. He had avoided thinking about the future at all, in fact, because there had been a very good chance that the Death Eaters would be ruling the wizarding world in the future, and that had been something that he would rather not imagine. But then the Death Eaters had been defeated and Theo's parents killed, and although he had done his best to console Theo, Blaise had secretly felt relieved that the Notts were dead: now Theo would no longer have to suffer his father's abuse, and he would not have to marry Serafina or anyone else; now they could be together. Blaise's parents would be upset about their romance at first, but he was sure that they would accept it eventually.

And then Theodore was adopted by Snape, which changed everything, at least in Blaise's mind. No one cared whether an orphaned Death Eater married and carried on the family name or not, but the Snape heir was another matter. He had voiced his fears to Theo, who had casually brushed them off, telling him not to worry about it, that he was sure Snape and Lupin would not object to their romance. Which was probably true, considering that the Professors were gay themselves, but people did not always behave logically. What if Snape, now that he had resumed the mantle of the Snape heir, wanted to make sure that his line continued? And there was Selima Snape to consider; by all accounts she was a formidable woman--look at how she had bullied Snape into returning home despite their long estrangement--and she would most definitely want to make sure that Theo eventually had an heir of his own to carry on the Snape name. Blaise knew that he was being a little hypocritical; after all, Theo had confessed to having the same fears about Blaise's family during the summer, and Blaise had assured him that he wouldn't let his parents come between them. Shouldn't he trust Theo the same way that he wanted Theo to trust him?

But...Theo had never really had a family before, not one that loved and protected him the way Lupin and and Snape did. He had spent nearly his entire life fearing his father and despising his mother, which made him all the more fiercely loyal and devoted to his new family. Theo had been so overjoyed when Professor Snape decided to adopt him, and Blaise tried to feel happy for him, but he couldn't help but wonder what Theo would do if he was forced to choose between his lover and his family. Which led Blaise to wonder what he himself would do if he had to choose between letting Theo get married and settling for being his secret lover on the side, or giving him up completely.

Blaise wrapped his arms around his lover and whispered, "Please don't leave me behind, Theo."

Theo stirred and blinked sleepily. "Blaise?" he asked in a slightly slurred voice, only half-awake.

"Sorry, Theo," Blaise said contritely, kissing him on the cheek. "I didn't mean to wake you."

"Love you," Theo mumbled, pulling Blaise closer, then he sighed contentedly and went back to sleep.

Those two mumbled words and that sigh made Blaise feel much better, and the tension went out of his body as he relaxed in his lover's embrace. He was being silly; of course Theo loved him and wouldn't let anything come between them. Besides, Snape's father wasn't dead yet, which placed Theo second in line to inherit the title behind Snape, and the Professor was young and healthy; it would be many years before Theo would have to produce an heir of his own. Blaise resolved to enjoy his last year at school with Theo, and worry about the rest of it--inheritances and heirs--when the time came.

Part 44