|
It'll only lead to trouble.
However, the phrase "no running in the corridor" is such an evocative- for me, at least- little thing to say. It brings, if you will indulge me, a moment, back all sorts of memories. They're not, I'm afraid, ones that you can join in with, because they are all pre-pates, but they're really wierd and marvellous. For instance:
- My first teacher, whose name embarassingly eludes me- A Mrs Something- was the individual who first incited me to learn how to raise my eyebrows, which I can now do with consumate ease. In that year, I remember being the lead role in the school play (something that will never ever happen again), and managing to avoid a history lesson by putting the thermometer in a kettle when the school nurse wasn't looking. In hindsight, I don't think she actually believed I had a temperature of 67 degrees centigrade, but she sent me home anyway. I also fell in the school lake and was yelled at a rediculous amount. It wasn't my fault, I tell you!
- My second teacher, a Mr Goodwin, I still see relatively regularly- he lives just down our road- and was simply super. his catch-phrase was "A-pa-chi-chi-wa-wa!" accompanied by throwing something at someone. He had a pet spider, called Peri, who died, eventually, but was most useful in explaining what perimeters were, and how they worked. We played all sorts of great games instead of learning stuff, of which I remember very little, save jumping on and off desks. In this year, I also recall judo throwing the school bully into a load of lockers, and getting kicked in the head for it. Crumbs, that was bad of me. But he deserved it. I also remember happy sun-drenched afternoons playing tennis and giant chess behind the school. I was, at the time, quite phenominally good at chess... ah well.
- My third Teacher, a Colonel, I believe- Colonel Skinner- was quite super too! less so than the others, I have to say, but he had a tendancy to throw smarties at people who got the right answer, and he also made up a story encorperating all of our last names, as they appeared in the register. Like.. "And oh! there was an enormous Gale". Only better. it was hilarious. Well done him. I was in the choir, too, which is slightly surprising. In fact, I was more or less exactly the opposite of who I am now. I was chubby and violent, yet studious and interested in sport. I think I'm probably equally happy, however, now as I was was then.
All of the teachers at Cheltenham collage (that I remember) were really, really great. I think that's the most marvellous thing about private schools. There was this English Teacher, who was American (which endeared him to me, for many reasons), who used to tell us stories about how it got so hot in Texas you could put eggs on car bonnets and they'd fry in seconds, and what happened if you put lizards on them. He also, I seem to recall, had a preoccupation with doing unspeakable things to hampsters, like putting them in scanners or microwaves. They were all like Mr. Beale, only different. I think, to be fair, Mr Beale was better, because he was dealing with people of a sensible age, rather than munchkins, but.. even so. Even so.