Anyway. Finally, we come to the crux of todays subject. Which is that unruly and dreadful piece of punctuation, the apostrophe. Now no doubt some of you will tut and shake your head in disappointment, but... well, I mean what? I think my grasp upon the english language is- tenuous at times, i conceed- but fairly strong for much of the time. However. Apostrophes make no sense. let's (that's let..us...) so it has an apostrophe. Interesting, I don't seem to be alone in this. Apparently (and that's a rather flimsy excuse for a "this may well not be true but hey, wouldn't it be fun if it were") certain sections of the Civil Service are told to miss the blighters out all together because they're so confoundedly confusing. Back, however, to the narrative, as it were- I can manage that. "they're", that's fine. as it that's. it's all good. yes. However, that aside, let's go back to the very beginning of this, and take "christs soupy beard". now, as with all things, more or less, on this site of mine, it's not actually origonal- the quote is by the tiniest cricketer, getting his chance- and consulting it, it seems to be "christ's soupy beard". So sorry about that, pedantics amongst you. So does that mean that the apostrophe ess means that the soupy beard is belonging to christ? i assume so. but what would christs soupy beard mean? In fact, I shall stop myself there, because I don't care and I expect all of you already know. sorry.
To change the subject perhaps just a little, i would like to make a complaint. just a small one. Has anyone here watched, recently, top of the pops? i have, i'm afraid to say, twice in as many weeks. both episodes made me cry. genuinely. it's not, rather obviously, because of the sheer volume of deeply moving music they are showcasing. No. It's just soooo depressing. I mean, maybe i am sitting here flogging, as they say- rather morbidly, i feel- a dead horse, but christ. christ's, in fact, soupy beard. what the hell is wrong with people that buy music nowerdays? I mean, i've not brought a single since.... um... i think it was a Radiohead one, actually. If you don't count that Lemon Jelly DVD. which was in the singles bit.... but that's irrelevant. the point is- it's obviously not my fault. but there's just a truly, truly, remarkable amount of pap and fat naked men (i'm sure i didn't make that bit up) and dreadful, dreadful things. awful. I wouldn't let my child- were i to have one- watch it. goodness gracious me, no. for many many reasons. It's just awful. I conceed that my taste in music (which today was described as "odd and boring"- a little harsh, i feel. "refined and distinguished", i think would be a little more accurate. but perhaps, i am willing to admit, that's just me.)
Well Anyway. I've sort of lost myself, here. So I think the only way that I can really rectify the situation would be to draw some sort of conclusion from the above two relatively unconnected paragraphs and, of course, not mention my quandry. Hey ho. Anyway. The lesson we learn today is that- well, that's if you want to learn a lesson at all, and the lesson that you want to learn is the one that I'm about to tell you- life is decidedly capricious. One of the more pertinant observations of our times, I feel. Yes. Well that's what I'm here for. What I mean in this instance is (as if you've not been able to work it out) that apostrophes make no sense to me. Yet their misuse sends other people into paroxysms (I rather feel that's not a word, but it should be) of rage and irritation, whilst simultaneously- and the laws of averages indicates this must be true- these selfsame people who I feel so inferior to are going out on a regular basis and commiting acts of tasteless, senseless music-purchasing. I mean, go figure. Life, as I say, is, on the whole, odd and unfathomable. Isn't that interesting? Well done.
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