The Loyal Bedding

There’s going to be a wedding, maybe so, maybe not

And they’ve ordered some Viagra and they’re sprucing up the yacht

But they haven’t got a venue because Windsor Castle’s out

And the Guildhall isn’t suitable, there’s commoners about

Something old, well that’s Camilla.  Something new, not maidenhood

Something borrowed from Diana.  Something blue, not Charlie’s blood

Princes William and Harry have wished their dad the best

And his butler is ecstatic now his arse will get a rest

Camilla said to Charlie, “Don’t let it all go wrong”

“I’ve bought a brand new nightie and a diamond studded thong”

Charlie said “Don’t worry Babe,  You’ve always been the best”

“And I’ve had Queen Camilla tattooed right across my chest”

“I just can’t wait to see it upon our wedding night”

“But what about our marriage do?  Who shall we invite?”

“Lets try to keep it intimate, just three hundred each”

“I’ll try to get Earl Spencer to do the best man’s speech”

“We could invite Al Fayed, I’m sure he’d like to go”

“And I’ll bet my brother Eddie would do the video!”

“And Posh and David Beckham, and Martin Bashire too”

“And if he brings a present he could do an interview!”

“Perhaps those guys from MI5?  We can’t let this chance pass”

“To thank them for that favour in that Paris underpass”

But Charlie said, “Camilla!  I told you that’s hush hush!”

“And it’s my turn on the throne darling, and don’t forget to flush!”

So they sent for Mr. Burrell, and he flew in by jet

And they marched him off to Hallmark for the best cards he could get

And they wrote out all the invites, and sent them first class post

To a marriage no one cares for, overcrowded by a ghost.

                                              pc05