The Further thoughts of Pulperman Shag

1.     Once over the hill, you pick up speed.

2.     If it weren't for STRESS I'd have no energy at all.

3.     Whatever hits the fan will not be evenly distributed.

4.     I have a photographic memory. I just don't have film.

5.     I know God won't give me more than I can handle. I just wish He didn't trust me so much. 

6.     If you're too open minded, your brains will fall out.

7.     Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of cheques.

8.     A balanced diet is a bag of crisps in both hands.

9.     Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.

10. Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.

11. By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.

12. Learn from the mistakes of others. You can't live long enough to make them all yourself.

13.   The only time the world beats a path to your door is when you're in the bathroom.

14.   Beatermen get paid from the neck upwards.  Pulpermen get paid from the neck downwards.

15.   If I was making “that kind of money”, I could afford to pack my job in!

16.   It was a good plan while it lasted!

17. You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me.

18. “How come I didn’t get a mouse-mat?” “Do you have a computer?”  “No but a mouse-mat would have been a start!”

19. I’m not a complete idiot!  I had a vasectomy a few years ago!

20.  It really is as bad as I think it is, and they ARE out to get me!