**SHAGWORLD**

Now far above Uranus, beyond the Milky Way

Lies the solitary planet Shag—where nothing is okay

In orbit round a burnt out sun there’s nothing much to do

The president is Captain Shag—he hasn’t got a clue

* * * * *

Their T.V. is in black and white—their radio is Morse

And they get their optimism from the dark side of the Force

They don’t laugh or dance on Shagworld—They never sing out loud

Because every silver lining is sure to have a cloud

* * * * *

As Shagworld ploughs it’s lonely way through the darkest of dark voids

It’s constantly bombarded by flaming haemorrhoids

That’s why all the Shagworld ladies, and all the Shagworld fellas

Never dare to venture out without their golf umbrellas

* * * * *

 To the atmosphere on Shagworld you just can’t hold a candle

It’s toxic and explosive—you’d soon fly off the handle

 The gravity is very strong, making movement quite a curse

They can’t go boldly forward—They only do reverse

* * * * *

Surprisingly, technology, is really up to date

But it’s all solar powered so it doesn’t work too great

They’ve got videos and playstations and c.d.’s all about

It would be quite entertaining if the sun would just come out!

* * * * *

The Shagworld Territorials could repel a strong invader

They bought all of their weapons from a passing Klingon trader

They practise at the weekends—they think it’s really fun

And they’ve all got laser printers (Which they’ve got set to stun)

* * * * *

So the next time you’re a bit depressed and feeling life’s a drag

Just remember things are worse upon the Planet Shag

And click your heels together and think for all you’re worth

Thank God I’m not a Shagling—There’s just no place like Earth!

                                           Pc02