Miss Taken

Miss Taken was an Irish girl, so full of life and chatter

She often seemed get things wrong, but not the ones that matter

She worked upon the railways in the First Class Buffet Car

She made cucumber sandwiches upon the Eurostar

…..

They went back and forth to Paris, seven times a day

And she fancied Clive the Driver though she knew that he was gay

One night they stayed in Paris and had gone out on a bender

And he’d told her that he’d have her if it wasn’t for her gender

…..

But that was many moons ago when she was just a lass

Now Clive had high ambitions for the Ticket Stamper’s ass

But Miss Taken had a master plan, a twinkle in her eyes

She’d done a correspondence course, she’d learnt to hypnotise

…..

She knocked upon the driver’s door; he smiled and let her enter

She said she’d brought him oysters.   That the commis-chef had sent her

She swung her watch before his eyes till he was in her power

While the train sped through the tunnel at ninety miles an hour

…..

She relieved him of his uniform and then his underpants

She had her wicked way with him.  The train sped on through France

She worked off her frustrations, not another person knew

The runaway train flew over the hill and she blew.  She blew!

…..

She smiled and snapped her fingers, like the cat that had had the cream

And Clive the puzzled driver said he’d had a funny dream

She‘d have to make confession.  She knew that she’d been bad

And Clive said that the oysters were the best he’d ever had

…..

Now later on in Paris, Miss Taken bore the brunt

Of Clive the driver’s anger.  His pants were back to front!

When Eurostar suspended her no one could console her

So she took her special pocket watch to see the Fat Controller

                                              Pc06