Miss Fortune

Miss Fortune was an unlucky girl and always acutely aware

Of her blemishes, spots, and shortcomings, and abundance of facial hair

She’d tried all the creams and devices, to appear to be sexy and curly

But each day when she looked in the mirror her sideboards and beard were so curly

…..

She’d had industrial defoliation, of all of her feminine places

And her body was bare like a desert but her face was a hairy oasis

Billy Smart wanted her for his circus----He said there’d be fabulous cash

If she’d only say no to the razor and grow a long beard and moustache

…..

Her Remington quickly discarded----She moved into a bright caravan

That she shared with a Left Handed Midget, a Pimp, and a Candyfloss man

The Candyfloss man was a sweetie---The Left Handed Midget was great

But the Pimp worked to his own agenda and soon took to coming in late

…..

The Candyfloss man was a swinger and Miss Fortune, she didn’t mind

That each Thursday they’d sleep with Midget, for they loved his enormous behind

The Ringmasters wife wasn’t happy, and she had a word with the clown

She said that Miss Fortune’s behaviour was bringing the neighbourhood down

…..

T’was the opening night up in Bradford when the elephant dung hit the fan

When the News of the World Paparazzi infiltrated the Pimp’s caravan

Magnesium flashes burned brightly, revealing the leather clad Pimp

And he shouted farewell to Miss Fortune as he ran away with a Chimp

…..

Though the Left Handed Midget still loved her, it seemed that she wasn’t aware

And she locked herself in the bathroom and shaved off all of her hair

She then threw a few things in a nose bag----She knew she’d be travelling light

Then she whispered goodbye to the circus and ran away into the night

……..

                      pc06