The Geordie Muslim

I am the Geordie Muslim a supporter of the Toon

I pledged myself to Islam while pissed on Newky Broon

We’re in the relegation zone with Chelsea in the Cup

I’ve instructions from Bin Ladin to blow myself right up

So I’m on my way to Sunderland, I’m gonna do my best

With a pork pie in my pocket, and Cemtex in my vest

…….

I am the Geordie Muslim and I’m feeling right off colour

Perhaps I’ll wait another week so fuck the Ayatollah

I don’t want to go to Paradise when I’m not at my best

With Newcastle in the drop zone and feeling so depressed

So I think I’ll wait a day or two, at least till Saturday

Then I’ll catch the train to Sunderland to blow myself away

…….

Wor lass wears a scarlet Burkar when she goes down to the pub

Or on her daily pilgrimage to the Mecca Bingo Club

I’m glad she took the veil you see I’ll tell you here and now

She’s a really devout Muslim and a fucking ugly cow

And when she goes off shoplifting it’s a really great disguise

Closed circuit televisions can only see her eyes

…….

I plan to be a Martyr to the Lord of Black and White

I’m gonna meet the prophet in the Stadium of Shite

So get my Virgins ready I’ll be there by Three O’clock

Those Red and White Infidels are gonna get a shock

My eulogy will be broadcast on Station Al Jezeera

By Ossama Bin Ladin or maybe Alan Shearer

…….

                                           Pc06