DELL BOY

I KNOW A CHAP CALLED MARTIN, THE NEW GUY HERE ON PREP

BUT HE`S MISSED HIS VOCATION---HE SHOULD HAVE BEEN A REP

HE`D SELL SAND TO THE ARABS, AND JEWELS TO A KING

THEY CALL HIM DELL BOY REVELL AND CAR BOOTING IS HIS THING

YOU SHOULD SEE HIM AT THE MARKET, HE ALWAYS ON THE BALL

YOU`LL ALWAYS FIND THE BIGGEST CROWD AROUND OLD MARTIN`S STALL

HE SHOUTS TO ALL HIS PUNTERS “ITS GOING FOR A SONG”

HE HAS A WAREHOUSE DOWN IN ATTERCLIFF, ANOTHER IN HONG KONG

HIS STUFF IS NEVER SECOND HAND, IT`S ALWAYS SHINEY NEW

WHERE ON EARTH HE GETS IT I HAVE`NT GOT A CLUE

HE`S GOT SPANNERS THAT PLAY MUSIC AND POCKET WELDING GEAR

IF YOU WANT IT MARTIN`S GOT IT, OR SO IT WOULD APPEAR

HE`S GOT TORCHES, HE`S GOT LIGHTERS, HE`S GOT FANCY GOODS GALORE

HE`S GOT SUPER POOPER SCOOPERS TO CLEAN DOG MUCK OFF THE FLOOR

IF YOU`RE INTO CYCLING HE HAS EVERYTHING YOU NEED

THE BATTERIES IN HIS CYCLE LAMPS ARE ALWAYS GUARANTEED

HE HAS THINGS TO MARK YOUR WINDSCREEN---IT NEVER EVER FADES

HE KNOCKS THEM OUT A POUND A PAIR, HE CALLS THEM WIPER BLADES

HE`S GOT SEVERAL TYPES OF HOME MADE WINE, ITS REALLY NICE I`VE DRUNK IT

AND ANTI-DAZZLE GLASSES ENDORSED BY DAVID BLUNKETT

HE`S GOT MAPS THAT SHOW YOU WHERE YOU ARE, AND WHERE YOU WANT TO BE

THE`RE ONLY TWENTY PENCE A PIECE (OR NINETY PENCE FOR THREE !!)

NEXT WEEK HE`S OFF TO SUNNY FRANCE, HE`S GOT HIMSELF A CHALET

(HE THINKS THE COMMON MARKET IS A CAR BOOT SALE NEAR CALAIS)

IT WON`T BE LONG BEFORE THE FROGS ARE STANDING IN A QUEUE

YOU CAN BET YOUR BOTTOM DOLLAR THAT HE`LL MAKE A FRANC OR TWO

IF HE EVER WINS THE LOTTERY OR COMES UP ON THE POOLS

HE`LL BUY HIMSELF A CAR PARK WHERE HE CAN MAKE THE RULES

HE`LL CHARGE HIS MATES A SPECIAL RATE OF THAT THERE IS NO DOUBT

JUST FIVE QUID FOR ENTRY AND A TENNER TO GET OUT !!

                           P.C.94