Bravo Two Zero

He’s deep down undercover; he’s on the throughput team

His body is a temple on an S.A.S. regime

He’s the undisputed champion of the entire British Army

With a black belt in Karaoke, plus one in Origami

He has a Spanish sweetheart; I think they call her Laura

He met her on a mission that he did for Interflora

He went down to Gibraltar and he quickly made them see

That it really is a stupid thing to fuck with “Soldier B”

I’ve heard he once came second to a lady of the night

Who relieved him of his wallet then beat him in a fight

She really knocked poor Pete about and though he’s super tough

He quickly threw the towel in and said he’d had enough

He’s quite partial to Chinese food, curries, and Kentucky

He likes to strut his stuff downtown when he is feeling lucky

And down at the Pomona he’s really all the rage

When he sings “Fire Starter” on the karaoke stage

When it comes to presentations he really is the best

With Pat Lee as his partner he’ll equal any test

They are the perfect double act, their timings really neat

“This is Pat Lee down at Cubley Hall and I’ll hand you back to Pete

He’s passionate for paper, and quite beyond a joke

It was him and Sherpa Knutton who conquered big Mount Broke

His flag was on the summit, he got rid of that mess

And I’ve heard he’s being headhunted to work for S.C.S.

On lap tops and computers I know you will agree

That Peter is the champion, the best in M.I.P.

With his web cam and his little mouse, his hard drive really humming

His special girl in Cyber World must have seen him coming

Now when you see him round the mill in his M.I.P. grey gear

Don’t assume he’ll always be the process engineer

His mottos are WHO DARES WINS, NO PRISONERS, ATTACK

And if I was Richard Bourdon, I’d start to watch my back