A Scotsman, an Italian, and an Irishman are in a bar. They are having a good time and all agree that the bar is a nice place.

Then the Scotsman says, "Aye, this is a nice bar, but where I come from, back in  Glasgee, there's a better one. At MacDougal's, ye buy a drink, ye buy another drink,

 and MacDougal himself will buy yir third drink!" The others agree  that sounds like a good place.

 Then the Italian says, "Yeah, dat's a nice-a bar, but where I come

 from, dere's a better one. In Roma, dere's dis place, Vincenzo's. 

At Vincenzo's, you buy a drinka, Vincenzo buys you a drinka. You buy anudda drinka, Vincenzo buys you anudda drinka." Everyone agrees that  sounds like a great bar.

 Then the Irishman says, "You tink dat's great? Where Oi come from in Limerick, dere's dis place called Morphy's. At Morphy's, they boi you your first drink, dey boi you yer second drink, den dey boi you yer tird drink, and den, after all dat, dey take you out de back and get you laid!"

 "Wow!" say the other two. "That's fantastic! Did that actually happen to you?" "No," says the Irish guy, "but it happened to me sister”