I think that the bible's first mistake was when it says that god put the "tree of life" in the garden of eden and told Adam and Eve not to eat it's fruit. Why even put it there? The whole purpose of that story is only to explain why people do bad things. Blame it on the eternal scape goat Satan and don't hold people individually responsible for their actions.
The fact of the matter is, PEOPLE ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR WHATEVER HAPPENS TO THEM. I mean, of course, people aren't always completely responsible for what happens to them. A person maybe a victim of random violence, or cancer and they can't be held fully responsible but, chances are a decision they made put them in the situation in the first place.
If god truely did exist and was given a performance evaluation for all the things stupid humans like to attribute to him, let's see how he would do. I will use categories for duties usually attributed to the work of a supreme being. The grading curve I use will be from 0-100%. 0 being utter failure and 100% being complete perfection in a given catagorie. I will also give a breif explianation of why I gave each grade. Let's begin.
1. Creation of life: 50% Sure, god created life but, then that's about it. He hasn't made any new life in millions of years. So, the ability to create life is there but, he has just been sitting on his hands for the last 400 million years or so. Humans have taken up the task by making babies.
2. Destruction of life: 100% God is good at this one. He is attributed with all death on Earth. "It was god's will", "it's god's plan" and "god called them home" are typical statements to attribute all death to god. God killed millions in the holy bible, not to mention all the wars.
3. Keeping his servants safe: 0% God made us die. The bible says so. This is also a precursor to our next categorie.
4. Destruction of his arch enemies: 2% God only managed to toss Lucifer out of heaven, not defeat him. Sure, god says in the bible that he will eventually get around to defeating Satan and his minions when he is good and ready. In the mean time he will let his arch enemy run around on Earth terrorizing his servants.
5. Peace on Earth: 0% Why should god bother doing this. The bible says god is going to DESTROY the earth and start over with a new one for all his followers. Let's see if he does a better job the next time around.
6. Punishment for commiting crimes: 25% According to the bible god used to be pretty competent in this categorie. However, the past 2,000 years or so he has been down right negligent. Don't worry though he promises he'll get around to doing this someday.
7. Healing sickness and death: 40% According to the holy bible, god was pretty good at this one too but, he did have to send his little boy to do the work for him. There are many claims today that god is healing people but, given his prior lack of enthusiam and commitment to do the work himself, these "healings" cannot be attributed to him directly, nor can anyone prove that the work is his. Chances are he is relying on someone else to do his work for him again (doctors, medicine, science and surgery).
8. Providing a clear and concise doctorine: 1% Sure, god did give us the holy bible and there is some good shit in there but, there are so many "guide books to life" out there that one can get confused. I would think that a perfect, supreme being would have provided for this. God's doctorine should be so compelling that nobody or nothing could deny or disprove a single word in it. However, the book we are given is so saturated with lies, half truths and contradictions that it would be negligent of us to not look in other places for a more accurate vision of god's wants and desires for us. I would certainly expect better from a god.
9. Not allowing people to commit crimes using him as a vehicle for the crime: 0% Televangelists, Jim Jones, the Crusaders, the Pope, child molesting preists, crazy people and missionaries. Need I say more.
10. Not having faults (i.e. being perfect): 0% God by his own admission, in the bible, has faults typically attributed to his own lesser creations. Jealousy, anger, incompetence and apathy are a few examples of these.
This breif evaluation gives god an overall 21.8% score on his performance. This shows an obvious deriliction in his duties as a supreme being. My reccomendation for this supreme being would be immediate termination from his position and replacement by a more competent and qualified applicant. Preferably a replacement that was not created by this god.
If the bible god did exist, this website, this page and I would not. If god were perfect, I would not be able to evaluate his performance as his perfection would be undeniable. If god existed I would probably be dead for such blaspemey, given his history of hot-headedness and wrath. If god did exist, I would hate him.
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