writings

How it feels when your heart dies...

My heart's all empty inside
Nothing there but pain
Learning that love is a gift
That will never be mine

Is that how it feel when your heart dies?
When you just want to shut it down?

Give up on believing that love will be found
learn to live life lonely and alone

Excuses I've heard by the dozen
Your beautful sweet and I would ... but
My life is too busy, I don't have the money,
You deserve better than me...
And that's only three of a dozen or more
When what they're really saying is...
I can't deal with the hep c my dear...
Honesty has bitten the dust!

So, I know I will never be loved
Learning to be by myself
Shutting down my heart ...
Not wanting to feel
How it feels when it dies ...
All empty inside.

dragonlady
3/22/02

I hurt me

I hurt me tonight ...
I let myself start caring
Then I had to shut it down
It felt like my heart shattered ...
I think it even died

I don't want to feel these emotions
Not now ... not ever again
To care ... to love is too painful
and that I can no longer bear

Hugging my pillow and crying
For what will never be
Feeling my heart fall all apart
It's just like dying inside

I'd like to feel no emotions
Be totally without feelings at all
but, pain is the one that I know
I've felt it too often before

This time is the last time
Cause I'll never allow it again
I'll shut down my heart
Be cold from the start
And never hurt me again.

dragonlady
3/22/02

What's important to me...

What's important to me is not ...

Money or things ...
Not diamond rings ...
Fancy cars ...
Or... fuzzy furs

To be held ...
Loved..
Cherished
Forever after
And ... laughter

To give all that I have
In my heart to one man
For now and forever
To be only his

To laugh with him ...
Cry with him ...
Argue with him ...
Then make-up

Simple things
That speak from the heart
and mean so much more
That's all I want in life.

dragonlady
3/22/02