1. "It's a secret!"
2. The goofier a monster looks, the more powerful/dangerous it ultimately turns out to be.
3. Never give up. Never. Ever. Even if you only have a 1% chance of winning, you'll ALWAYS manage to pull a victory out of your *ss somehow.
4. No matter now powerful, how well-read, or how determined a sorcerer you are, you will NEVER find the ONE SPELL which can cure the physical ailment, deformity, or shortcoming which you are the most sensitive about.
5. For some people, blindness isn't that serious a handicap. Neither is death.
6. Powerful things usually come in small packages.
7. "It's a secret!"
8. It's possible to be either a freak or a fruitcake----and STILL be a babe magnet.
9. Your enemies always have a habit of showing up when you least expect them. That goes double for enemies you've already killed.
10. Not all princes are handsome.
11. Cornarian and Venom Kings, on the other hand...
12. Not all demons are ugly.
13. There are ALWAYS shortcuts.
14. If you look hard enough, you will always find them.
15. All shortcuts invariably turn out to be traps.
16. "It's a secret!"
17. Priests are nothing but trouble. That goes double for the ones with purple hair who carry staffs and who keep their eyes closed most of the time-(which is the only type of priest you're likely to meet, by the way).
18. Your Inner Voice is most likely superdeformed.
19. Smiling, trickster priests always look WAY scarier with their eyes open than they do with them closed.
20. "Trust No One!"
21. If you find, after throwing everything you have at an enemy, that you just can't beat them, there will always be someone who will step in and beat them for you.
22. Unfortunately, this someone usually turns out to be an even WORSE enemy...
23. All men, at some point, must dress up in drag.
24. Sore Wa Himitsu Desu
25. If you ever say after attacking an enemy, "I got 'em!", chances are, you didn't get them.
26. Not all people who are related have the same last names.
27. They also do not necessarily look ANYTHING alike.
28. No matter how big and strong and well-trained a guy you are, if some woman, ANY WOMAN, thinks you're acting like a pervert, one slap will be all it will take to knock you down to the ground.
29. Nothing and no one is all they first seem to be...
30. Not all bad guys wear black. In fact, most don't.
31. Chances are, every enemy you kill will have a servant that will want to kill you for killing their master.
32. Never piss off Dragon Maidens. They may be shy and harmless most of the time, but they can get HUGE, and come on, do you REALLY wanna take that chance?
33. Mazoku Lords are not nice. It doesn't matter if they look like a 10 year old or a giant lobster thing.
34. Just because they're called 'Holy' doesn't mean they're nice.
35. Young children are always more trouble than they're worth... avoid them at all costs.
36. Just because a guy is big, mean, ugly, and has been trying to kill you since the beginning of the season, DOESN'T mean that he's the guy you should be worrying about...
37. Keep falling in love with one guy after another and eventually you'll find one willing to marry you!
38. Fruitcakes make life interesting... albeit chaotic.
39. Being possessed isn't really a BAD thing...
40. If you fall in love with a girl, make sure she IS a girl first.
41. If you're trying to defeat a Dark Lord, throwing a spell named after them is really dumb.
42. The worst possible person with the worst possible timing ALWAYS comes along at the worst possible time.
43. All women are trouble in some way or another. Get a boyfriend while you still can.
44. Never let God know the ice cream truck is coming.
45. There may not be a cure, but there's always coffee.
46. If at first you don't succeed, try again. If you're still blind, resurrect a Dark god. (Not exactly, but I just think it's amusing. ^_^)
47. The cute ones are always crazy, cursed (transformed), or planning genocide.
48. There is always something wrong with the happy ones.
49. Beware of Kids; Just because they don't look old enough to drive doesn't mean they don't have the power to blast you to ashes.
50. It doesn't matter that you're 7ft tall, mascular, carry a sword almost as big as you, and God. Your fallen bonded who's half your size can still make you sleep on the couch and eat your own cooking if you piss it off.
51. Beware of petiet, zebra-haired fallens. They may be a host for a demon that -when let loose- will terrorize you for an entire story arc, maybe more.
52. Never trust a priest.
53. Never question the ethics of putting the entire world at risk just so you can save your boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife/bonded... Everything will turn out alright in the end!
54. Family members are both dangerous and annoying
55. Everyone's afraid of something.
56. A guy in a dress can be way prettier than a girl.
57. A girl in a tux can be way better-looking then a guy.
58. Obsessions can lead to really powerful curses.
59. Anything worth fighting for is worth fighting dirty for.
60. Some of the best phrases to describe you and your friends entire existence will be found on buttons.
61. If an enemy is too powerful for you in the present, you can always go four generations back in time and kill him when he was weaker.
62. Unless it's Xeran, cuz Ken will kill you if you even BREATHE on Yami.
63. No matter how powerful your enemy is, he'll always have some weakness, like a Holy Talisman, a Mazoku Talisman, or a really big ego. Or he may just be stupid.
64. Cursing someone doesn't take magical ability...only an immense amount of pent-up anger.
65. DON'T mess with chaos. You can never predict gods of that sort even if previous outcomes seem to work fine and dandy.
66. The very same reasons a person scares you can often turn out to be why you like them.
67. Just because someone looks no more than 10 yrs old doesn't mean they can't restore your magic or kick your ass all the way to transit. Chances are, they're going to do the latter.
68. If you are a villain who has the heroes down or running for their lives, finish them off! Don't let them get away! If you do, your weakness will be figured out sooner or later, and you'll be the one fighting for your life!
69. Sometimes, dead is better.
70. Nothing is perminent. This includes death.
71. Not EVERYONE wants to be brought back from the dead, no matter how they act aftarwards.
72. Fruitcakes are more powerful than they look.
73. If a certain Trickster Priest is smiling, he probably knows something you don't. That or he just thought of another way to annoy you.
74. If the Kitsune-sama has already picked out a sweetheart for you, it is a waste of time chasing around someone else. The person you develop a crush on will never be what you expected and you'll end up looking like an idiot. Never challenge Kitsune-sama!
74 (Addendum). If the sweetheart you've chosen makes things more interesting, it can happen.
75. Bad guys always seem to have more fun. Just listen to their laugh. Maniacal, isn't it?
76. Life may suck, but it's always funny to someone.
77. Things will always get better. Sure, they'll be twice as bad after that, but they WILL get better!
78. Saying "Things can't get any worse then this." in some form or another is practically challanging Kitsune-sama to make it worse.
79. NEVER challange Kitsune-sama to make it worse.
80. No matter how helpless someone is, there's always at least one person twice as powerful as you backing them up.
81. L-sama is a bitch. A bitch with reasons, but a bitch.
82. Xelloss isn't as bad as he seems.
83. Sometimes, all the bad people really need is a friend.
84. No matter what you were hired for, if you're an MFI, you will ALWAYS be sent on missions.
85. Knights have a thing for cats. Or maybe that's just the Protis's.
86. The person trying to seduce you doesn't really want you, but something they can get from you.
87. Your past will ALWAYS come back to haunt you.
88. When wishing for anything, state all guidlines clearly, making sure that it's clear what you ARN'T wishing for as well.
89. Sometimes, walking into a trap is necisarry.
90. Everyone -at one point or another- will get screwed over.
91. If you're making a deal with someone who's name ends with 'los', then chances are he's gonna use you then backstab you.
92. NEVER EVER EVER trust anyone who's name ends with 'los'.
93. If your lover has someone who looks exactly like them running around, make sure it's your lover before you screw them.
94. Never sleep with anyone of the oppasit sex (or Xelloss) unless you're prepared for one of you to get pregnant.
95. Sleeping with your lover's brother as revenge may seem like a good idea at the time, but trust me, it's probably the STUPEDIST possable thing you could do.
96. When on Ultramar, bring a cellular phone.
97. Robitic body parts are sexy. (::looks around at all the weird looks she gets:: ...WHAT?!)
98. Yami got the only good Pheniox. Deal.
99. Everyone is messed up in some way, shape, or form. If they arn't messed up, then they soon will be.
100. DON'T MESS WITH CHRISTAIN DANIEL PHENIOX!!
101. Never get involved with more than one Pheniox at a time.... it gets messy. (Mary Beth)
102. When confronted with a difficult decision during a battle, using heart-shaped SweetTarts for a battle plan may come in handy... that is unless either way someone's gonna get hit no matter WHO you push outta the way. (Mary Beth)
103. Beware Castillan's Castle of Darkness and the dungeons underneath..... ::shudder:: (Mary Beth)
104. Never tell an elfin prince you'll marry him.... (Mary Beth)
105. Enjoy the "games" played at Pheniox Castle while Fara's away.... tomatos and water guns are a wonderful combination. (Mary Beth)
106. Don't ever EVER make a little Jewish boy sit through "A Charlie Brown Christmas".. you'll never live it down. (Mary Beth)
107. Never volunteer your services to giant ape men who happen to run a planet... you'll never know what he'll make you do. (Mary Beth)
108. Don't ever think that you're life is great and at its happiness peak... and never let the Creator know this... cuz you'll be doomed from there on in... you'll be on your pinicle and you'll be dropped! (Mary Beth)
109. Be careful as to what you say because you never know when someone will make a "51 ways to kill you" list. (Mary Beth)
110. Gushing over a blue-eyed, black-haired demonic elf that has a bonded, a fiance, and a shitload of kids will get you no where..... but hell, it's still fun! (Mary Beth)
111. Pheniox Concert will always go on, whether Mrs. Pheniox wants it or not... (Mary Beth)
112. Make sure you never say certain phrases like "YES" during sex because you'll not only wake up his mother and sister, but you'll never be able to live it down either. (Mary Beth)
113. Being in a relaitonship with the God of Seduction is nice. (Mary Beth)
114. Being the Mother of the gods is NOT a good thing. (Mary Beth)
115. NEVER beg to have recognition. (Mary Beth)
116. Know your allergies, be careful of who else knows them, and of what you eat... some of the oddest ingredients have been known to find themselves in Pheniox Castle food. (Mary Beth)
117. Don't tell a Pheniox that he can't do something because he'll only turn around and prove you wrong.... or at least try to. (Mary Beth)
118. If you can name all of Shin's kids, you have too much spare time. (Mary Beth)
119. Sex on the 50-yard line will only lead to a punch in the face. (Mary Beth)
120. Never, ever, EVER time travel... never.... that is unless it's to save the life of that blue-eyed, blak-haired elf... then it's ok. ^^; (Mary Beth)
121. Never touch Taylor's heater, and if you think it's broken, there'll always be another one better to replace it. (Mary Beth)
122. No matter what anyone says, purple haired priests are EVIL.. especially to queens. (Mary Beth)
123. When Kenchi says "The elements have arrived-there is no place for us," you now it's time to start running. (Mary Beth)
124. Putting 7-8 shampoos into one bottle will only work perfectly if you are the Prince of Cornaria. (Mary Beth)
125. Youkos and Humans do not work well together. (Mary Beth)
126. Youkos and Elves work TOO well together. (Mary Beth)
127. If you hate someone, you will fall in love with them eventually, whether you like the idea or not. (Mary Beth)
128. Pole dancers and gas station workers always look so cute together. (Mary Beth)
129. EVERYTHING can have a link to PE... whether it be movie, video game, or song. (Mary Beth)
130. Flushing Casswawas is fun. (Mary Beth)
131. Attempt to give a Pheniox a bath and you will end up all wet.. or hell, even in the tub yourself. (Mary Beth)
132. Two words- Ja Cuzzi. (Mary Beth)
133. Fire demons with green skin are REALLY cool once you get to know them. (Mary Beth)
132. Never shake a water weenie in front of an elf and say This is it. (Mary Beth)
133. Taylor Protis is only trouble... period. (Mary Beth)
134. You are never alone when you sleep.... even if you think you are. (Mary Beth)
135. Not all badguys are all that bad. In fact, most arn't. Most were just at the wrong place at the wrong time, or have bad luck.
136. You arn't popular, you're just a slut.
137. Being a slut isn't really a bad thing, unless you're a homewrecker while you're at it.
138. Four words: Six Degrees Of Seperation.
139. Sometimes, it's just not worth getting up in the morning.
140. 1 pizza...5 knights...no. (Kitsune-Sama)
141. They are not dead unless you see them die.(Kitsune-Sama)
142. No matter how high class you are, fleas still exsist. (Kitsune-Sama)
143. The seducer always get seduced. (Kitsune-Sama)
144. Incest is best, put your brother to the test. (Kitsune-Sama)
145. NEVER disobey an angry bonded. (Kitsune-Sama)
146. Bushidos don't need a blade to be deadly. (Kitsune-Sama)
147. Kids are smarter than adults. (Kitsune-Sama)
148. God will screw you over... (Kitsune-Sama)
149. God's god will screw him over.. (Kitsune-Sama)
150. And gods' god's lover will provoke these actions. (Kitsune-Sama)
151. God's sprem can leap tall buildings in a single bound. (Kitsune-Sama)
152. Young spanish men can shake thier booty pretty damn well. (Kitsune-Sama)
153. The weirder the hair color, the more powerful you are. (Kitsune-Sama)
154. If you befriend Xel, miraculously Kit-sama let's good things happen to you. (Kitsune-Sama)
155. If Yami is dead-set on killing you, he's GOING TO KILL YOU. Don't stand too close to the bars. (Kels and Amanda)
156. It IS possible to be more stubborn then Kistune-sama. (Kels and Amanda)
157. Even if you don't trust the bastard, pretened you do. When he cheats on you, you'll look the the victim and all his friends will turn on him for it. ^_^ (Kels and Amanda)
158. Death changes perspective. (Kels and Amanda)
159. Just because somebody kills your mother doesn't mean you can't have them in your home! (Kels and Amanda)
160. Higher powers are always finding new and inventive ways to communicate with their followers and their followers' kids. (Kels and Amanda)
161. SMILE! Tomorrow will be worse! (Kels and Amanda)
162. Taking advantage of venom kings while they're stuck under you with only one arm ALWAYS means a good time. (Kels and Amanda)
163. If two people get caught in an explosion together, just assume they switched bodies untill proven otherwise. (Kels and Amanda)
164. Just because the Creator says you should have an affair with someone, doesn't mean you have to. (Kels and Amanda)
165. In fact, most times you should avoid the person she says you should have an affair with at all costs. (Kels and Amanda)
166. This is the main reason why by the end of the month, you will only have 1 friend. (Kels and Amanda)
167. Demons can claim things in the name of the Holy Empire, too. (Kels and Amanda)
168. If you're both the Prince of Hell and the Empress of Heaven... things are going to get a LIIIIITTLE tricky, soon. (Kels and Amanda)
169. Just because daddy says you should join him to take over the world, doesn't mean you should. (Kels and Amanda)
170. Not that that wouldn't be fun... (Kels and Amanda)
171. As long as you have the cup, YOU'LL BE O.K. (Kels and Amanda)
172. When all else fails, cast "Magic Missle" (Oh, wait, that's on the "All I Need To Know In Life, I learned from the Kreu" list...) (Kels and Amanda)
173. LOOK! IT'S BUDDHA! (Kels and Amanda)
174. Remember: Cheese. (Kels and Amanda)
175. Beware of the hair of certain green-skinned fire demons. It makes things flammable.
176. And the demon is likely to find this amusing. (Kels and Amanda)
177. And, in the case of this demon, it usually is. (Kels and Amanda)
178. Just because you hate someone doesn't mean you can't save their life when it's imporatant. (Kels and Amanda)
179. It doesn't matter how good you claim to be at a game. Jackie Protis will still kick your ass at it without trying.
180. The demions are for cowards and perverts. Fight your own battles, dumbass.
181. The most inconvinent thing will always happen at the most inconvinent time.
182. Decisions made at 1 in the morning are almost never good ones.
183. Just because they LOOK male doesn't mean they can't bare children.
184. No matter how in the right you are, YOU'RE ALWAYS WRONG. (Amanda)
185. The most materialistic and shallow people will somehow always be the most psycicly sensitive.
186. The less you care about sex, the more chances you'll get.
187. For some reason, when you yell at someone for cheating on you, they seem to think you're also saying that you don't do it.
188. The guitar will follow you everywhere... (Wait, that's from that "All I Need to know in life I learned from Nova" list...)
189. There is no such thing as perfection. Even perfection is imperfect, because it's annoying. (Amanda)
190. If everyone likes you, you're boring. (Amanda)
191. Just because the GM likes your character doesn't mean the other players will.
192. Youkos are trouble.
193. Youkos are wonderful. (Amanda)
194. Always take the opportunity to look through other people's belongings.
195. It doesn't matter how recently you cleaned out the place, Taylor Protis ALWAYS has some form of alcohol hidden in his house.
196. NEVER say you'll do something for someone. Only tell them you'll TRY.
197. If you arn't cheating, you arn't trying.
198. Be careful when choosing your lovers, because once you break up with them there's a good chance they'll come back to haunt you.
199. Love trancends all bounds, whether they be age, race, sexual orientation, or just plain common sence.
200. Although a bitch, recognition is NOT the end-all, be-all of relationships. Merely a minor setback if you play your cards right.
201. If the gods are as old as they claim, they must have gone senile by now.
202. Running almost never helps. If there is a problem, get off your ass and do something about it, no matter how bleak things look.
203. The most dangerous problems can sometimes be the simplist to fix.
204. Just because someone says they're straight (or gay, for that matter) doesn't mean they are. (Amanda)