| My biggest heartbreak was not from who you might be lead to expect. Not from one I had romantically loved. Someone I had found, someone not in my family, someone who had always been there. Someone I had grown to love as a sister, someone who I had convinced myself whom I would never be betrayed by. Someone who showed they had cared when others where too busy with themselves. Things must have been too perfect, a good thing will never last. The day I found the hidden feelings was the day my heart collasped. At first, in denial, until I soon realized a person I loved was forever gone. I spent serveral days in that room, dirfting between crying and sleeping. No boyfriend breakup could ever feel like this. Who was I to go to? You were the one I went to when I felt like this. The days went by, as did weeks, the sadness turned to hatred, I thought my life was better off without you now. Yet I never threw away a single thing you gave me. Not that I never tried, but I couldn*t find the heart. I honestly thought deep inside that I would never see you again. I had seen how you dealt with other people you grew to dislike. I though I was just like all of them. The weeks soon turned to months. Then my heart was broke once more. I should have died that night, 18 sleeping pills later, I still awoke. I had nothing left to live for. I had lost my two true loves. As more months passed I began to wonder if your hatred had surpassed. I finally gave in, didn*t know how you would react. I cried when I had seen you e-mailed me back. I shed so many tears for you, because our friendship had been so true. I was scared and paranoid at first you might just want to fuck with my head. I then learned your words were true. That you missed me and I missed you. As time went by I grew to trust you once more. I know in my heart you are my one true friend. I hope to hell you*ll be there till the end. I now know what life feels like without you. I never want to experience that again. I want you to know I love you and I hope we never end, for you are my one true best friend. |
