Philosophy2

      Recently, I've been surprised at the number of people who have discussed the exact same problem with me. This problem is, of course, the teenage crisis. I hope to at least share some of the things I've learned in these conversations, and maybe even help you out about something you haven't had the time or desire to put down on paper.

       There are several problems that we all suffer through as teens, but the one problem that stands out above all is the feeling of being a "personality chameleon." A personality chameleon is someone who shows different sides of himself to different people. These different sides to his person are really totally different personalities. I think that everyone does this to an extent, like we usually don't speak the same way around our family members that we do around our friends. (you know what I mean!) Feeling that you are a personality chameleon, on the other hand, almost always involves more than how you act around your family. You act differently around different friends, teachers, until you get to a point where you don't know who you are anymore. When that stage develops, you may fall into a mild to serious depression, depending on how seriously you take this "illness" of yours.

       I can say from my experience that this sort of thing happens to me all the time. For example, when I talk with Kurt I usually speak directly and confidently, because he ALWAYS talks that way. (even though he probably has no reason to) When I talk to Sam, on the other hand, I feel like I'm talking more honestly and emotionally. Another way of looking at it is not only HOW we talk, but WHAT we talk about in the first place. I usually talk to Kurt about superficial things, like movies, games, and hobbies. Nothing that really involves me, not that our friendship really needs that. I think we really have more of a trusting friendship, because we trust each other not to tell secrets...to each other. It's still a valid and enjoyable friendship, but it doesn't involve any, ah, emotional ties. Then we have Sam, and she knows a good deal about me, and she sometimes tells me about herself.

       This is all fine and dandy, but what difference does it make? It seems that I tell people things that they want to hear, or maybe things that I think they're capable of hearing. Kurt really isn't a "wise" person, but he's a very intelligent person, so I might ask him help on some sort of miscellaneous problem of mine from school, the computer, or perhaps just some random problem that I can't shake. He's generally good at that, as our years of friendship have proven, but I don't talk to him about "matters of the heart and soul", so to speak. I tell those problems to either one of my lady friends or to Neil, my one wise male friend. Those friends see a very different side of me than what Kurt sees, and both sides of me are quite true. I just don't show the other side to some people.

        Here's the question of the hour, is there anything wrong with that? In my opinion, no. I believe that this personality changing isn't just a matter of conveinance; it is a search for the true person inside of us. When we experiment with different personalites, we see all the different things that we say, the different tones and body gestures that we utilize, and everything else that changes between personalities. We are really trying to find what things within us that we both respect and admire. But this process of discarding and revising our personalites lasts a LONG time...but when it ends, you have reached adulthood. At least you have that to look forward to. :)

         It's a really marvelous process, honestly. It's quite amazing when you see it happen in all those around you, and it's always surprising when a friend tells you how much you have changed. So, whenever you feel like you haven't been "real" or "genuine" to someone, take solace in the fact that you don't know who the real you is. It's perfectly normal, and before you know it, you will be an adult, and you will have power and responsibility. Then, you probably won't have TIME to worry about being genuine. That's another story, however. If you have anything to add to this, or any comments, feel free to send me an email or sign the guestbook. See you later!