| Higher Learning My Ass |
| This could be the last entry for a while. Since all of my friends have moved on to other colleges, or to their jobs, I thought this would serve as a lasting monument to...me, lol. There is always the chance that someone will return here in a few years, as they are clearing out their Favorites folder. That thought gives me some hope, which is sorely needed in these days of uncertainty. Given a few years, there are only a few possibilities about love and romance. Since I am a pitiful romanticist, I may now be with a lovely woman who feels strongly towards me (as I hopefully do to her). Or, for whatever reason, it never happened. Maybe I foolishly turned down those other women because of Sammy, in the hopes that she would eventually share those same feelings with me. I mention this not because love is central to who I am, but because I have finished a short story for Samantha. I have a nagging feeling that it will be worth absolutely nothing, or absolutely everything in the future. Sooner or later... I may have lost touch with my best friends, and I will be a fool. I may no longer speak with Neil, Sam, Jenny, Jay, or anyone else of importance. If that is the case, then I doubtlessly have plenty of new friends that are equally interesting. And I will be a fool. Because a life without these friends will be lonelier, more depressing, more aggravating than any I shall ever experience. College, which is famous for breaking the hardiest of souls, cannot, shall not, will not break me. I am a stubborn man, and I am a very introverted man. I am not a social animal, and I refuse to become everybody's friend. For a man who is liked by all is always in danger of losing those that matter. I cannot lose them. If I do, it will be my shame, and mine alone. I will heap myself upon the nails of curses if it relieves me from the shame of my own disgrace. Perhaps, most importantly, I will not lose myself at college. I will learn greater patience, a willingness to both forgive and forget, and lots of skills that are practical but irrelevant. Everything I do must contribute to godliness, to understanding, love, compassion, and to the elimination of ignorance, prejudice, bias, and suffering. In high school, I have learned a great many things, while inflicting a fair share of human suffering. Out of ignorance, or out of apathy, or of a miscalculation, they have been made. In college, I will learn how to avoid those pitfalls, how to help my weaker and sadder human beings. But, I will choose to do so out of selfish reasons, for I am in the pursuit of godliness. I will help others and care for others because it will bring me closer to the end of my path, to the abolition of my false self. I will maintain my convictions, fight against the Sophistry which is so common at places of learning, and otherwise defeat anyone or anything that gets in the way. This is my vow, the vow of a man concerned with losing sight of the highest of goals. I will be water, a steady stream of change, yet immutable in composition. I will cleanse myself of past impurities, and fight against pollutants to my soul. I will always be on the side of truth, justice, and goodness. I will wage war against ignorance, both within and without. In this way, I will welcome the many blessings of college, whilst preparing myself against its darker nature. If I follow my words correctly, I will maintain the friendships that are worth enduring. I will not pursue friendships more than I have to, but I will also not maintain friendships that are undesirable or too weak to be maintained. My friends who have journeyed to college have returned changed men and women. I will be changed, also, but I refuse to be ungrateful and unappreciative of those people who truly matter. That will be a monumental task, but there is no task that is beyond me. After all, I am Atlas, and I carry the world on my shoulders. Let us hope that there will be someone to share that burden with me. The Dark Dachshund |