Rants

well as you can see i have not done very well in keeping this section updated along with any of my other ones. i seem to have barely anytime to breath or sleep yet alone besides keeping my pages up to date. so i apoligize to any of you who regularly check on my pages to see how things are going and what not. well acouple of things have happened since i have last writen any thing, i am now a Godmother of a beautiful baby boy who's name is Tyler James and who was born on the 18th of january. as most of my close friends know i'm not to into little kids but i actually think he is the cutiest thing in the worl and i can't wait till i can see him again.

school has been treating me very poorly of late i've been studying my butt off and what not trying to figure stuff out so i can do well this semester like i desperatly need to do!

when you know you need to do something but it scares you to death to do it, what should you do? i have found something that plagues my heart and soul which consumes me but i do not know what to do about it. i want to do it but my interior motives conflict with my beliefs and feelings about the situation. i hate when two ways of life conflict and raise havoic in your life, leaving you in turmoil and confussed as of what to do. so what to do what to do??......

well i've decided this page is probably going to be used for more than just rants. i suppose it will contain thoughts that i have and it will contain true feelings and emotions of who i really am. I've had an interesting experience this weekend and well i think i have come away from it a little more understanding of who i am. i say thanks to the one who helped me to see things in a different way, and who showed me that not all things in life are bad. thank you babe so much!

well this weekend will leave a long impression on my life i know this. i just hope i can carry the lessons i learned with me always, so i can stay true to myself, but this will not be an easy thing. i have built a way of life for me that i must unbuild so i can move forward in my life, being who i know i am but not many know who that really is. i've had glimpses of who i am truely many times over the past years but i have always decided to make that big of a change would kill me. but i have decided i don't have too much too lose anymore, that is as long as i can leave the lying dog alone. who is on the outside is a part of who i am underneath but it just is the surface of who i truely am. i believe though it is time for this person to come forth so the world may look at me for who i truely am.......