Old Lady in the Next Bed

Through the haze of morphine,
I saw her when they rolled me by-
a lump of curly white hair
and folded legs.

The doctors came in the morning.
Kidney failure.  Two choices:
She could prolong herself inevitably,
in that bed, with those machines.
Or,
she could get death over with
in about three or four days.

She chose to go.

She shit her bed that evening.
I turned on the TV and
pretended oblivion while
my brother and my mother
pinched their noses and snickered.
I could not laugh-
The nurses did not laugh at me
when I tried so hard to shit
and could not.

Shitting is a big deal when you're sick.

Later, they decided to move me.
They rolled me by again.
The old lady smiled and wished me luck.
What do you say to a dying stranger?
Good luck to you too?
See you later?
I smiled back and said
goodbye.

kmb 10/01
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