10. Letter comes back from the North Pole marked "Dream on Kiddo!"
9. The kid asks for a bike, and Santa sends him a pack of cigarettes.
8. Along with the presents, Santa leaves a hefty shipping and handling bill.
7. By the time he gets to your house, all he has left is styrofoam peanuts.
6. On Christmas day your kid wakes up with roadkill in his bed.
5. Instead of Naughty or Nice, santa has him on the dork list.
4. Santa sends him off on a cruise with Kathy Lee.
3. The first words he hears getting on santa's lap are "Pull my beard and I'll put the hurt on you."
2. Presents labeled straight from crap town.
1. 4 words: Off my lap Tubbo! |
