B - Umm, does The Bible count? Although, I guess anybody could have made that shit up, so it isn't really hard evidence as such. So that's a 'sort of'.
C - None, whatsoever. I've never even found a Jesus-shaped vegetable in my garden.
B - It definitely seems like he does answers prayers. Hmm, but if God really does answer prayers, then he must also answer those of Islamic extremists, terrorists and such like. Wait, that makes no sense, why would God help evil-doers? Shit, I don't know any more.
C - I prayed once: didn't get me jack shit, so I haven't done it since. Bastard.
B - Good point. Who knows?
C - He was probably too busy ignoring my prayers. Stupid fuck.
B - Maybe he was conducting some sort of experiment.
C - He tricked them into doing it, because that's all God is: a cruel kid with a magnifying glass held over an anthill. A big, smelly bully.
B - Umm, I asked my R.E. teacher that once, but he shouted at me and told me I was a bad, bad person. So now I try not to think negative things about my faith, for fear that my teacher will spank me.
C - The old boy must not have it in him any more. Either that or all that miracle shit was just fabricated by a few drunk "prophets" thousands of years ago.
B - Didn't that guy, like, get crucified or something?
C - I have three words to say to that...
B - Umm, war on Iraq? Wasn't that, like, ten years ago? I dunno. He may well have.
C - With thousands of Iraqi people dead, many American/British soldiers dead or injured, and an increasing amount of prayers asking The Big Man to intervene, he has yet to get off his cloud and put a stop to this madness.
B - I hate these tough questions. Maybe it's just easier to have faith if you follow blindly and don't ask such things.
C - Because Jesus is Hitler, so he probably just bosses his dad around to do evil shit. Seriously, don't believe me? Click here http://www.jesusishitler.com
B - Maybe he just didn't think of that. He can't be as great as we thought then. Graeme, on the other hand, thought up this great question and clearly deserves to be God, what with him being so brilliant.
C - He secretly enjoys picking folk off, no doubt.
B - Not even mild punishment? This God dude is lame.
C - Fuck yeah, Satan rules. Fuck you, God.
Mostly B's - God exists. Probably. Maybe he's just been busy dealing with complaints about the central heating system in Heaven, and hasn't had time to deal with our Earthly issues. Maybe he doesn't exist. Maybe he's dead. Looks like you need to get some answers. Ask your local priest about any God-related doubts you have: they hate that, and it's always fun to piss off priests.
Mostly C's - Shit! Looks like someone's been sleeping on the job! If this God dude really exists, he's got some serious ass-kissing to do. Time to start considering the ugly truth that religion has no basis in facts and that the joke is on you!
