Hangover Cure
The above is a picture of John, who likes to dress up as a French maid and fantasise that he masturbates for a living. He likes to lie on his bed, close his eyes and pretend that he is in a hostage situation, where if he doesnt finish his wank in the next minute, the child gets killed. But all this wanking has paid off, and now I am able present to you "John's Miraculous Hangover Cure!"

Now then, in the above photo, our subject is suffering from a hangover, hence the sobbing like a little sissy girl. The remedy for this is simple. When you wake up with the "Oh my God, I have a thumping sore head" feeling, you nip into the loo and polish the gopher. This works and it has been tried and tested many times, by none other than John. The reason this works is that the hormones released (we were informed of this by the Geeohcities resident doctor*) whilst stroking the salami gets rid of the sick feeling for about half an hour, allowing the self-abuser to eat some food and to have some parecetamol. Tada!
*no such person exists.
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