But I challenge any man to find a girl that doesn't blabber at length about their weight. Now that would be cool. But it's just not feasible. For some reason, every girl loves to hear themselves talk on the subject. Psychologists reckon we are only born with two fears; the fear of sudden noise, and the fear of falling. Similarly, I suspect that all women are born with the need to bore us with discussions about diets and calories. I'll let you in on a little secret, girls. I do not give a shit how many calories my next bite of food has in it, okay? I do care about how well cooked my steak is, and if the fat isn't crispy then I'll probably beat you with a shovel. But the salt content is of no interest to me, whatsoever.
Ask any girl if she thinks she is fat, and the response will undoubtedly be 'yes'. I don't know a single man that actually gives a fuck about this crap. The worst time for fat-enduced panic-attacks is when you're getting ready to go out somewhere, they always make a point of slowing the procedure down with airheaded questions like "Does my bum look big in this?" and "Do you still love me even though I've put on a few stone?"
News flash: there's more to life than your weight, asshole. Nobody cares, deal with it. You could balloon up to thirty stone, or drop to five, and quite simply not one of us guys would be any more interested in engaging you in a conversation about weight or dieting. It's like asking us what we think of the "whole Ben and Jen thing". We don't know what the thing is, because we don't have our heads up the arses of the writers at Cosmopolitan.
The only men that actually care about weight are the airheaded ones that chase after slim, slutty blondes. They're the only ones likely to care that you're getting fat - ask them for an opinion.Though it's not like they'd want to talk to you, fatty.
Largely these are the same grubby whores that watch 'Sex And The City' and laugh like a hyena on LSD, particularly at the filthy innuendos. How come when I walk around blabbering about blow jobs like I have Tourrette's, you don't find it funny/endearing/charmingly rude/clever/witty/cool/comedic? Usually, girls knee you in the balls and storm off. Publicly sharing details of your grotty sex life isn't big or clever in reality, so why is it funny when these four tarts do it?
Answer: it's not. It is all just a part of this fake culture we live in, where what we find funny is dictated to us by peer pressure, and rebellion is as common as muck. 'Sex And The City' is diabolical, just diabolical. Poorly written, unoriginal, unrealistic, and lacking of anything gripping. Every time I give it a chance, I find that I am dumber for having watched it - I'd rather hit my head off a bed of nails for an hour than watch this guff, it is just horrificly bad.
I hate Sex And The City. Most of all that Samantha Jones bitch, played by Kim Cattrall. I bet Cattrall is a complete bitch in real life as well. No one could act like such a slut without it being natural. She's a fucking whore, and I hope she dies for ever taking on that part. I hope the writers die for ever writing her the part, and all her lines thereafter.
It really isn't funny that Samantha doesn't want to settle down and have a relationship. Alright, I understand there are loose women out there that don't want commitments, and I'm fine with that. But it really isn't big, or clever, for this character to run around bragging about all the blow jobs she's been giving, and all the dick she's had in the past twenty four hours. I really hate her. She's the type that gets her dildo out in public, waves it around and then stirs her tea with it, and then frowns at you because you had the cheek to look round.
I'm so glad this programme has finished, because I wasted four television sets while it aired, kicking them every time this bitch came on and annoyed me. The next time someone decides it will be funny to have four New York sluts talk about their sex lives as the premise of a sitcom, I'm going to anally rape them and feast on their organs. The bastards. I can't think about this any more, I'm going to do something less painful, like rub my balls along broken glass.