Yeah, the other thing I really could do without: Cher. Well, not just her, but all these old hags that think it's acceptable to make a 60 minute fitness video and then pawn it off as the weight loss discovery of the century. I found one of these amongst the videos as well. Cher Fitness it was called. It had a bullshit slogan, like "A New Attitude", or something. Grr. I can't believe people are mentally vapid enough to buy this crap. Hey...you want to lose weight? Put down the chips, fatty.
Seriously, I should make a fitness video. It would just be me, surrounded by a pack of hungry wolves, and I'd say "Hey, fuckface. Why do you have to be such a blob of dick cheese? Don't eat so much." Then the credits would roll, and they'd say things like "Writer - Gee, Director - Gee, Editor - Gee, Awesomeness Supervisor - Gee, Wolf Handler - Gee, Dude Co-ordinator - Gee, Fatty Research - Gee" and so on. It would be excellent, and there would be a disclaimer saying "If you don't lose weight, I'll send my wolves to your house." And the wolves would all have mean names like Strider, Destroyer, Angua, Savage, and one would just be called Raaaaar.
And what's with all that make up they wear? What's the point in it? It doesn't make you look different, you just look like an utter tool. Besides, I thought image meant nothing to all you people that want to be alternative or different. If so, why have an image? Wearing make-up is clearly the vain expression of some deep desire in your consciousness to appear a certain way for other members of the public. Wow, aren't you different? You're just as bad as the trend-followers you criticise, lumping yourself with categories and genres. You know the worst thing though? I was in Glasgow recently for a Machine Head concert, and me and my friend saw the most hilarious thing ever: goths queuing outside the infamous fast food franchise, McDonalds. I see this sort of stuff all the time: "goths" eating in fast food restaurants, or shopping in busy commercial areas, and buying brand name goods.
The McD Goths were all wearing mass-produced t-shirts with catchy slogans like "Rotting Corpses Harvest Your Soul", "I Eat Babies" and "Cradle Of Snotty Defecators" or some such shit. Well, I made those up, but you get the point. One actually had an Amen t-shirt on, with the slogan "Death Before Musick." Stupid bitch. Do you even listen to Amen? I'm pretty sure if you did, and you actually listened to the message Casey Chaos tries to convey, that you wouldn't stop for a snack at McDonalds. Are you so stupid that you don't see that by wearing an Amen shirt and eating in the world's biggest multi-national corporation, you're a contradiction?
Anyway, these idiot McD Goths all had grotesque make up and those ridiculous looking "trouser chains"; they had black and purple hair in odd styles, and a plethora of piercings on their ugly faces that could have triggered an airport customs metal detector from fifty feet away. Aren't you cool? Fucking losers. I actually had to stop and point, because they just looked so hilarious.
Okay, time for a News Flash: you are not different if you allow marketing to control your expenditure. You are not goth if you eat at McDs, and face it, chains are for dogs and bikes. No, they are not decoration for your trousers, and nor do they back up as some sort of security measure for clipping your wallet onto (I always hear this lame excuse when I propose to goth losers that by wearing trouser chains they're buying into fashion trends). If you want to keep your wallet safe, guess what: don't advertise the fact you are a pathetic cunt, and it's safe to assume you probably won't get mugged. No wonder people beat you up when you look like that. I hope you all die. Fact, muggers are doing all of us a favour by removing you from the gene pool, you fucking schmoes. Kill yourselves.
He's the main character in "A Gift Of Love, The Peter Huffman Story". Don't let the name put you off, it's a trick. The film-makers want to fool pussies into watching it, under the pretence that they're going to see a film about love and cuddles and other such crap, and then BAM!, in comes Peter to lay down some smack. If the film were to be called a suitable name, it would probably be "A Gift Of A Punch To The Throat, The Peter Huffman Story". This guy is the man. I flicked over to this film when it was on Sky Movies recently, and was blown away by his awesomeness. At first, I mistakenly thought that he was a crybaby pussy, because he was pining around bitching at people, moaning about such trivial adolescent crap as getting no peace to do his homework. Boring.
But then it really picks up. He shouts at the two kids that won't give him peace to work (as far as I can gather, they were his stepbrother and stepsister). Then his dad tries to give him in trouble, so he tells the kids that they're not really related to him, just to piss people off. Then some stupid girl came into the room and was talking to him about something, but he got pissed off about nothing and stormed out to go and stay with his gran.
This was where it got really good. Despite her promises, his gran doesn't really want him to stay, so he shouts at her a bit, then screams that she's full of "BULLSHIT!". This totally shocked the old dear, so soon after, she just fell over and had a stroke, because his shouting had kicked her ass. Seriously.
Then the film went back to being boring and laughable again. There was a really good moment when Peter was just finished a game of American football - his family came over to see him, at which point his coach approached and started rambling about what a good player he was turning out to be. Once the coach had left, Peter turned to his family and said "That's my coach." No shit? You mean the older guy in the tracksuit, with the whistle and the baseball cap, that approaches the family of players and congratulates them...is your coach? Wow, I'd never have guessed. Oh, another thing, he met some chick after the game, then at the school dance the next day he approached her. She said "Hi, Peter," and he replied "You remembered my name?" What a lame thing to say. Of course she did, it was only a day or two ago that you met her. Dumbass.
I can't remember what I was saying. Oh yeah, Peter Huffman should shout at goths until they die.
One more thing...
