Two months ago I ordered a CD from 101cd.com. I received the confirmation e-mail, as per, and then waited. Nothing. Nada. Not even an e-mail explaining the delay. After more than two months, I e-mailed them, telling them that it was ridiculous and if at all possible I would prefer just to cancel the order altogether. Now, once the order has been processed, they have a policy of no cancellation, so I knew I had no chance of getting the order cancelled. But I thought that I may as well try, and if not, at least they would get my e-mail of disgust through their shitty little inbox.
They let me cancel the order. That was their first mistake. A man only has two things: his word, and his balls. Now I had already deduced by this point that the people at 101cd.com didn't have a bollock between them, otherwise they would have had the testicular fortitude to send me a simple, short e-mail explaining the problem. And here they were breaking their word by allowing me to cancel my order. What's the point in having rules if they're not going to adhere to them? Where do you draw the line? Suddenly they don't start sticking to the promises to their customers (like actually sending the goods), or taking more money from your account than they should? Why don't I just not bother paying, if we're breaking rules? Morons.
So anyway, they suck balls. Two months is a ridiculous amount of time to wait. I could understand if the item wasn't in stock or something, but everything was fine. They were probably just too busy sucking one another's dicks off and taking photocopies of their ass or something. Why didn't they just send me the fucking CD? If it had been some shitty pop music like The Rasmus, then I could understand. But I had ordered Amen's classic 'We Have Come For Your Parents' album, because I kick so much ass. Actually, it was for a friend anyway, but I still kick ass for ordering it. Would it really have been so hard to just send it?
The worst thing was the e-mail they sent. No, actually, the worst bit was just how much balls they suck. But yes, the e-mail did verily suck. Not only is the customer service appalling, but cheeky too. They actually had the nerve to write - "TO HELP US HELP YOU - Please always include your order number and your first and last name in any emails you send us".
Pardon? Me help you? Get fucked, you gimp. I'll include whatever details I like, and if you don't like it, tough shit. Why don't you help me by just sending my CD next time? Include my order number? No. I'd rather just e-mail you and bitch vaguely until I freak you out because you have no idea what it's in reference to.
By this point, I was so angry that I had thrown my fan out the window and punched this dude in the street just to vent my anger. He cried, so I slammed him upside the head. Man, it was funny. As if I wasn't angry enough, the bastards had ripped me off.
I suspected they would, so just to check I logged onto my Splashplastic account and checked my balance. It was unchanged. They hadn't refunded the �6.99 back to my account. What the fuck is that about? I cancel the order but don't get my money back? What, you think I take immense pleasure in wasting money? If I ask to cancel an order, I expect my money back, even if I don't actually say it in so many words. For fuck's sake, what do you have to do to get decent customer service these days? Dumb bastards. Yeah, that's right, I asked you to forget about delivering the CD, but I really wanted you to keep my money, because I like needlessly giving money away to huge international companies. Pricks.