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Statistics:
Age: 23
Height: 169cm (5"6')
Start: 120kg (264.5lb)
Current: 85kg (187lb)
Goal: 60kg (132lb)

Countdown:
60kg (132lb)
55kg (121lb)
50kg (110lb)
45kg (99lb)
40kg (88lb)
35kg (77lb)
30kg (66lb)
25kg (55lb)
20kg (44lb)
15kg (33lb)
10kg (22lb)
5kg (11lb)
Goal

Horoscope:
A cosmic influence is at work, but you can easily ignore it. If you want to avoid this helpful influence, just respond to everything in your world that seems big, extreme or urgent. Before you know it you'll be too busy to notice anything else. But if you stnad back and ask why it's really so important to be here, go there, to do this and deal with that, you should make and interesting discovery: it isn't. There is an easier (but less obvious) way to proceed. It involves having a little faith in the idea that the right things in life will naturally make their way to you. (Jonathan Cainer)

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8TH JULY: ANGRY

I’m feeling pretty shitty at the moment. I decided to go read Annabelle’s diary this morning because I wanted to leave some nasty comments or something. I haven’t thought about her in days then I came across her copy of Moulin Rouge and I became vengeful. I just hate her more than I hate anyone else in my life ever. There have been people who have done shocking things and I am quite willing to forgive them, even interesting in what they may be doing these days. If they came up to me in the street I would not shun them. I would deign to ever become friends with them again, however I would be polite. Yet, if Annabelle came up to me I think that I would spout all the horrible things that I could at her. Of all the people she was the last person that I expected to be such a bitch to me, despite the fact that she really isn’t such a nice person. I haven’t finished reading what she wrote about me in her journal and I think that it is time that I did, however I don’t really care. I never said anything mean about her other than her being everyone’s worst critic, and that is the truth. I hope some really bad things for her. I really do.
The one thing that I did realize though was that she was just waiting for another friend to come along to sideline me. She didn’t have any other friends aside from me and her sister (who’s husband I am sure would like a little more time alone with his family, and she wonders why he gets shitty) then suddenly this girl who rarely talked to her when she was fat has started talking to her, and voila! she has another friend. OMG, I guess it was coming. It has been coming for a long time. Our friendship was boring. We couldn’t go out unless someone saw her, not even shopping in town. She said it had to do with her body but when someone refuses to go into public with you, you tend to wonder if they just don’t want to be seen with you. She wouldn’t even go to the movies with me. And she wonders why I thought that our relationship became ‘sour’. When all you do is sit around the house getting drunk and watching movies, it gets BORING! Hence I started to get a little irritated with her.
But it looks like it really was me. Someone comes along and she is all chipper again, trying her hardest to validate herself.
I was going to say that I don’t care that she has a new friend, but I do. I don’t want her to have any friends. I want her life to go to hell. Really, I have never been this angry with anyone else in my life. Not even Alina, or Catherine. Backstabbing and making someone feel bad about themselves was part of their personality. Apparently it is part of Annabelle’s as well. I will send this to her so she knows that I am bitching about her but not backstabbing her- something that she can do just fine all by herself.
I really can’t be bothered saying anything mean about her because I don’t care, so I will leave one last I HOPE HER LIFE GOES TO HELL and stop thinking about her.
On a lighter note Missy and myself went to the park yesterday. That is exciting because it means that I could go for a walk with the stroller! We are joining a playgroup where I may meet some people with whom I have more in common (aka: children) and are less condescending. I don’t particularly want to make friends. Actually, I don’t because they all just suck arse anyway, but there will be people with children for Missy. I am going now because I have become angry. I may just read what Annabelle wrote and send her a mean reply. Ah, who cares.

719 WORDS POSTED BY SAMANTHA AT 1106HR. EMAIL ME.

I came to a different conclusion as to what course of action that I would follow if I were to come across Annabelle in the street. Rather than give her a detailed explanation of what I thought of her I know that my only remark would be “Fuck Off.” And with that I would storm of in a cloud of rage. I am pretty sure that is what would happen.

71 WORDS POSTED BY SAMANTHA AT 1341HR. EMAIL ME.