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KNOW SOMETHING.  ONE STATION EVEN WENT SO FAR AS TO STOP A FIRE TRUCK THAT WAS SITTING IN TRAFFIC.  THEY HAD NO IDEA WHAT WAS GOING ON.  BUT A STRANGE THING WAS HAPPENING AT THE SITE OF THE GROUNDBREAKING...IT WAS THE GROUNDBREAKING!! 
WITH LIGHTS AND SIRENS GOING OFF LIKE CRAZY, JUST ACROSS THE RIVER, THE POLITICIANS KEPT ON GOING WITH THEIR PARTY.  TO ME, IT WAS A CASE OF KNOWING NOTHING...OR KNOWING TOO MUCH.  BUT THE REACTION OF THE LOCAL MEDIA WAS THE THING THAT MADE ME MOST SUSPICIOUS.  BY THE TIME THE FIVE O'CLOCK NEWS HAD BEGAN, THE STORY WAS THAT IT WAS A LEAKING TRUCK, AND...YADA, YADA, YADA
BULLSHIT, I KNEW BETTER, AND THOUGHT THE MEDIA WOULD ENJOY KNOWING.  I HAD SEEN THEM ALMOST THROW TOM RIDGE AGAINST THE WALL, ASKING HIM ABOUT A $1,000 CONTRIBUTION FROM A GARBAGE HAULER THAT LATER GOT A DUMPING PERMIT.  AND WERE THE TWO THINGS RELATED.  SO I JUST KNEW...
DAMN, WAS I "NEW TO THE GAME" IN THOSE DAYS.  THE MEDIA REFUSED TO REPORT THE STORY.  "ORGANIZATIONS" THAT I APPROACHED TOLD ME THAT THEY WEREN'T ALLOWED TO GET INVOLVED.  WHOEVER WAS IN CHARGE OF "DAMAGE CONTROL" HAD WORKED OVERTIME.  SO, I JUST DROPPED IT.  NO NEED BANGING MY HEAD INTO THE WALL. 
THAT PRETTY MUCH ENDED MY POLITICAL CAREER.  NOT THAT I HAD FAILED, BUT I WAS TIRED OF THE CONSTANT REPEATING OF THE SAME MESSAGE.  TO ME, THAT WAS THE MOST TIRING PART OF THE ENTIRE PROCESS.  AND WITH 12 MILLION PENNSYLVANIANS...
BUT FOR SOME REASON, THE SAME DIRTY COPS THAT MADE ME DECIDE TO RUN IN THE FIRST PLACE, STARTED THEIR CHILDISH GAMES.  THE DAY AFTER THE ELECTION!!  SO, IN MY USUAL WAY, I SET THEM UP...AND TURNED THEM OVER TO TOM RIDGE.  NOW, THESE COPS WERE BUSTED RED-HANDED DOING CRIMES, AND I THOUGHT THAT RIDGE WOULD HAVE THEM KICKED OFF THE FORCE.  BUT THE ONLY "PUNISHMENT" THEY RECIEVED WAS BEING PLACED ON NIGHT SHIFT, AND PUT WITH OTHER COPS.  IT SHOCKED THE HELL OUT OF ME, WHEN I WENT TO A CONVEINENT STORE ONE NIGHT AND THESE SAME COPS CAME IN.  I ASKED TOM RIDGE WHAT WAS GOING ON, BUT HE CHOSE TO IGNORE ME.  THESE COPS WERE SO OUT OF CONTROL, AND SO PROTECTED THAT IN LATE FEBRUARY 1999, I WAS STOPPED BY THE DIRTIEST COP OF THEM ALL.  THIS COP TOLD ME TO MY FACE THAT HE WAS GOING TO PLANT SOMETHING IN MY CAR, AND GET ME YEARS OF JAIL TIME. (SINCE I DON'T FEAR COPS, I WASN'T GIVING THE USUAL "YES SIR" ANSWERS THAT THEY LOVE TO HEAR) THIS COP THOUGHT HE WAS DEALING WITH "JUST ANOTHER NIGGA".  SO, HE TOLD ME TO WAIT OUTSIDE MY CAR, AND HE WENT BACT TO HIS CRUISER TO GET (WHATEVER!)
HE BRAGGED THAT HE HAD JUST TAKEN A GUN OFF OF A GANG MEMBER "DOWN ON LARIMER".  I ASKED HIM WHAT THE HELL HE WAS DOING OUT HERE WITH IT, SINCE THERE'S ALWAYS HOURS OF PAPERWORK ASSOCIATED WITH A WEAPON SEIZURE.  THAT PISSED HIM OFF, AND HE CALLED ME A SMART-ASS.  I COMPARED HIM TO THE OTHER DIRTY COP FROM MY DEALINGS AND HE GOT ON HIS CELL PHONE, AND CALLED THAT OTHER COP.  HE TOLD HIM THAT HE "HAD A PRESENT" FOR HIM. (I WAS THAT "PRESENT")  THAT'S WHEN HE WAS GOING TO "TEACH ME A LESSON".  NOW, THE OTHER COP WAS RUNNING MY DRIVER'S LICENSE, AND IT HADN'T COME BACK YET.  WHATEVER HE HAD, HE WAS ON HIS WAY BACK TO PLANT IN MY CAR, WHEN THE OTHER COP CALLED HIM BACK TO LOOK AT THE LITTLE COMPUTER SCREEN.  HE WENT BACK, AND THEY BOTH LOOKED AT ME...DUMBFOUNDED!! (THERE'S A "DON'T F*** WITH THIS GUY" NOTE WHEN YOU PULL UP MY DRIVER'S NUMBER) I JUST STOOD THERE, NODDING MY HEAD, WAITING FOR THEIR REACTION.  NEEDLESS TO SAY, IT WAS QUITE DIFFERENT.  THEY WERE THE ONES SAYING "YES SIR".  IT WAS THEN THAT THE OTHER COP CAME STREAKING DOWN THE STREET...LIGHTS AND SIRENS BLASTING.  THEY PULLED UP TO ME, AND "MY" COP WAS SITTING IN THE BACK SEAT (PART OF HIS HARSH PUNISHMENT) NAD WHEN THEY PULLED UP, I TURNED MY BACK, SO HE COULDN'T SEE ME RIGHT AWAY.  WHEN I HAD HIS FULL ATTENTION, I TURNED AROUND AND JUST SMILED THE PRETTIEST SMILE.  HE TURNED WHITE!!  HONESTLY, EVEN THOUGH HE IS WHITE, YOU COULD SEE THE COLOR DRAIN FROM HIS FACE WHEN HE SAW WHO HIS PRESENT WAS.  YOU WOULD HAVE THOUGHT THAT HE WAS THE DRIVER, BECAUSE HIS NATURAL RESPONCE WAS HITTING THE GAS PEDAL!  HE ACTUALLY TRIED TO HIT HIS BACK SEAT GAS PEDAL!!  HE YELLED AT THE DRIVER TO GET OUT OF THERE!!  AND IN THE SPACE OF NOT MORE THAN TEN SECONDS, THEIR WORLD HAD CHANGED!!  I WAS GENTLY ASKED TO GET IN MY CAR AND GO HOME.  I REFUSED TO TOUCH THAT CAR, SINCE HE HAD TIME TO STICK SOMETHING IN THERE.  I LEFT IT RIGHT THERE, AND TOOK THE BUS HOME.  I GOT IN TOUCH WITH TOM RIDGE (VIA FAX) AND TOLD HIM THE WHOLE STORY...SIX PAGES WORTH.  I TOLD HIM THAT HE COULD HAVE THE CAR TOWED TO HARRISBURG, AND HE COULD HAVE IT.  AND SO FOR OVER A MONTH, MY CAR SAT IN THE HEART OF THE BUSINESS DISTRICT.  DAY AND NIGHT, UNTIL FINALLY I SOLD IT.
(I TOLD Y'ALL BEFORE, I HATE SOMETHING OF MINE BEING TOUCHED.  IT MAKES IT WORTHLESS TO ME.  MAYBE YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND, BUT IT'S JUST ME)

BUT IN MY MIND, THESE COPS WERE SO OUT OF CONTROL, AND PROTECTED, THAT I HAD TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT.  MAYBE NEXT TIME IT WOULD REALLY BE "JUST SOME NIGGA".  THAT'S WHAT MADE  THE DECISION TO RUN FOR DISTRICT ATTORNEY SO EASY FOR ME.  EVEN THOUGH I DIDN'T WANT TO, I COULDN'T THINK OF LIVING IN A WORLD OF DIRTY COPS.  AND TOLD TOM RIDGE THAT.  BUT HE THOUGHT THAT I WAS GOING TO START THE "GAS LEAK" STORY AND MESS UP HIS CHANCES AS VICE-PRESIDENT WITH BUSH.  I KNEW HE WOULD TRY AND KEEP IT A SECRET FROM BUSH (KEEP THEM SKELETONS IN THE CLOSET) BUT WHEN I HEARD THAT BUSH WAS COMING FOR THAT JULY FUNDRAISER, AND HEARD THE GUEST LIST, I KNEW SOMEONE WOULD INFORM BUSH OF RIDGE'S "BAGGAGE".  THAT'S WHY I WENT OUT TO LET THEM COME SEE ME.  I THOUGHT THEY WOULD COME IN A BIG SUV, AND JUST DRIVE PAST.  THEY CAME BY HELICOPTER.  IN THE MIDDLE OF THE DROUGHT OF 1999, HERE COMES A HELICOPTER FROM DOWNTOWN THAT STOPS RIGHT OVER ME.  I JUST WAVED AT THEM.  I TOLD YOU BEFORE, I KNEW MY POLITICAL WORLD HAD JUST TAKEN A CIA/KGB TWIST, BUT I NEVER THOUGHT THAT THEY WOULD GO AFTER MY FAMILY LIKE THEY DID. 

THAT'S WHEN THEY ARRANGED THE DENTAL CLINIC VISIT FOR MY EX-WIFE.  IT WAS IMPORTANT TO KNOW ALL ABOUT ME, SO THEY COULD PLAN OUT HOW TO KEEP ME FROM PUTTING TOM RIDGE'S VICE-PRESIDENCY IN JEOPARDY.  HE WAS THEIR "FLUNKY".
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