There should be more, but they just won't come.
Loneliness is almost comfortable now.
You get used to it after a while, I guess.
Alone, I can be anyone.
That's when the secret selves come out;
All those masks, the fun of it all. . .
But in the end I'm still alone.
All those strangers, . . . never really knowing me.
No matter how intimate, it's never really me they meet.
I came close once. . . to letting one see,
But at the last minute, I pulled the curtain closed. . .
Slipped on the mask and into the role that was expected
They all want something different,
So I am constanty reinventing myself.
I've lost track of who's who.
But that's why I never stay too long,
Just long enough for the comfort of the closeness.
GWB 3/96
And grin
And feel all silly inside.
You make me cry
And ache
And want to die.
But more than any of these
You make me want to be
Everything you believe
I can be.
GWB 3/01
Countless tears stain my pillow.
My prayer for sleep goes unanswered.
Like happiness, sleep eludes me.
I lie awake longing for someone to hold,
But there will be no one tonight. . .
Or tomorrow night, for that matter.
I want too much
In this world of instant gratification,
And, because of this,
I will always be alone.
GWB 8/00
Cursing the fear
That gnaws at my heart.
Each day brings me greater joy
Than I'd ever imagined possible;
Yet the fear wells up
And drowns this joy.
It's stupid, you know,
To fear the very thing
That brings you such happiness.
But fear of the past
Will always control the future.
GWB 2/97