| Here Goes |
| the machinery of affection. a terrible groaning creaking lust for you. a monster of a thing. huge unwieldy unswallowable. at one time, i remember i could take the pill of you and swallow without water without choking. but then you got too big and lumbering about the world sometimes blocking out the sun and definitely definitely not bite-size anymore. and then, on the other hand, i remember the wonder-slow fruition. motion in silence. a seed budding breathing breaking into oxygen. unfurling long tongues of petals like a wide open mouth panting. i remember being very structured and fragile. having a big old skeleton to rumble about in, fluttering panicked in the cage of my bones, beating myself against the ribs which seemed like the quickest way out at the time. and then becoming more cunning. making myself narrow. and when that didn't work, the messy business with the veins. how shocked we were. how penitent. i think i'm getting at the truth of it now. soon, i'll understand everything. (and, of course, inevitably, painfully, joyfully...nothing, nothing at all) |
 |
|
| All lyrics by Yelena B |