| CHURCH SIGNS -----�No God - No Peace. Know God - Know Peace.� -----�Free Trip to heaven. Details Inside!� -----�Try our Sundays. They are better than Baskin-Robbins.� -----�Searching for a new look Have your faith lifted here!� -----An ad for St.Joseph�s Episcopal Church has a picture of two hands holding stone tablets on which the Ten Commandments are inscribed and a headline that reads �For fast, fast, fast relief, take two tablets.� -----When the restaurant next to the Lutheran Church put out a big sign with red letters that said, �Open Sundays,� the church reciprocated with its own message, �We are open on Sundays, too.� -----�Have trouble sleeping? We have sermons -- come hear one!� -----A singing group called �The Resurrection� was scheduled to sing at a church. When a big snowstorm postponed the performance, the pastor fixed the outside sign to read; �The Resurrection is postponed.� -----�People are like tea bags --you have to put them in hot water before you know how strong they are. -----�Come in and pray today. Beat the Christmas rush!� -----�When down in the mouth, remember Jonah. He came out alright.� -----�Sign broken. Message inside this Sunday.� -----�Fight truth decay �study the Bible daily.� -----�How will you spend eternity �Smoking or Non-smoking?� -----�Dusty Bibles lead to Dirty Lives�: -----�Come work for the Lord. The work is hard, the hours are long and the pay is low. But the retirement benefits are out of this world.� -----�It is unlikely there�ll be a reduction in the wages of sin.� -----�Do not wait for the hearse to take you to church.� -----�Will it take six strong men to bring you to church?� -----�If you�re headed in the wrong direction, God allows U-turns.� -----�If you don�t like the way you were born, try being born again.� -----�Looking at the way some people live, they ought to obtain eternal fire insurance soon. -----�This is a ch__ch. What is missing?� � (U R) BACK |