Ah, yes. SoCal delivers more PSYCHO gear to us in this horribly dated pic! The early '90s is when clothes first started getting baggy, starting a goofy trend that continues until today. Soon, gigantic FUBU nylon jeans with different color stitches and mock motorcycle racing logos will also be just as dated. Don't believe me? How cool are JNCO pants today?
In case you forgot, here are the names of the hairstyles of a decade ago (apologies to Mullets Galore):
The
Inverted Triangle MegaFade: This one was popular with lifted Toyota 4x4
(this was before they all rusted out) drivers that liked to park at Sonic with
their mid-'80s MX bikes in the back of the truck while blasting Young MC. This
was an attempt to pick up some "babes", which was the early '90s word
for today's "hos". They have never actually been seen riding, and full
searches of their homes turned up no helmets, two-stroke oil or fouled plugs.
True posers. (Little
known fact: 56% of ITMFs are named Zack.)
The
Elaine: Wearers of The Elaine were able to fend off the advances of both the
Inverted Triangle MegaFades and the Minitruck Mullets. Doing this enabled them
to continue their educations at small in-state public universities (like Shawnee
State) and obtain Associate's Degrees in any number of historically female
careers. With their matriculations behind them, they were able to enter
low-level
management and administrative positions at places like insurance agencies,
consulting firms, J. Peterman, and factory labs, where they are harassed by
pony-tailed male co-workers. Still looking for Mr. Right, these women fear that
their best days (of course, the early '90s!) are behind them.
The
Aging Rocker: Once a hit on the local music scene with his band, The
Scalawags (a KISS, ZZ Top, and AC/DC cover band) the Aging Rocker had to cut his
long locks in 1989 when the classic rock scene dried up. The real world smacked
him in the face hard. Fearing that the women would dry up after the band's
demise, he married the band's easiest fan before their last show. Today, he
works as an assistant engineer at the local recording studio, and gets to go
home to a split level in a "transitioning" neighborhood, with an
eight-year-old minivan in the driveway. Still rockin'!
The
Minitruckmullet: I can't explain this one any better than Mullets
Galore did.
The
Puffball: The Puffball works at the laundromat. That's all you need to know.