I'm Sorry, I'm Leaving.
Chapter 2
By: Sarah
Cicily sat down across from Simon, her mind still spinning from her encounter with Joel. He glared at her for a second before breaking into a forced smile, showing off his perfect pearly white teeth.
� I�ve been waiting for twenty minutes, Cic.� He said. Cicily nodded.
� I�m sorry, I was at the car place�� She said. He shrugged and leaned back in his chair. He quickly drank down a martini sitting in front of him and the cleared his throat.
� How is that going?� He asked. She shrugged. � How long is it going to take?� He asked. He sat forward and gently pushed his fingers through his sandy blond hair. Cicily suddenly couldn�t remember anything that Joel had said. She could only remember his arms and the way the muscles had moved whenever he did� She could only remember his warm brown eyes and that adorable smile.
� I think he said it would be a week or so.� She said finally, her voice soft and hesitant. Simon scoffed.
� Glad to see you paid attention.� He groaned. Cicily sighed. � Anyway, I didn�t know how long you would be, so I ordered you lunch. Is the fish ok? I got it with sweet potatoes and the wild rice.� He said just as his cell phone rang. Cicily frowned.
� Simon, you know I�m on that low carb diet�� She started to say before he raised a hand as a signal for silence. She sighed and waited for him to finish talking on the phone. He hung up a minute later and then asked the waiter for another martini, not bothering to ask Cicily is she wanted anything.
� Low carb diet? Oh yea, you do need to lose a few pounds.� He said, looking at her with a critical eye. Cicily frowned and swallowed back the lump forming in her throat. � You can just eat the fish.� He shrugged. She nodded and crossed her arms.
� Or I could just get something different.� She suggested.
� Now, Cic, that would be way too much trouble. I ordered the fish twenty minutes ago�they catch it right here. Really fresh� Just eat it.� He said. She nodded. � I don�t know how you are going to keep your life together when I leave tomorrow.� He said. She frowned.
� What do you mean by that?�
� I mean�you are a mess without me. With me on this business trip�three weeks�I�ll come back and you�ll be completely disorganized. But maybe by then you�ll have lost a few pounds and I won�t have to be embarrassed to bring you to parties.� He smiled. Cicily felt her breath catch in the back of her throat. She looked away, feeling tears sting her eyes. �Oh, honey, I�m only telling the truth, don�t get all emotional.� He laughed. Cicily forced a smile. She didn�t know why she was still going out with him. A whole year and all she ever did was put up with his comments.
� I need to use the bathroom, I�ll be right back.� She said and stood up. Simon nodded, not even caring that she was obviously upset. She quickly walked to the back and into the bathroom. Once inside, she leaned against the stall, tears slowly slipping down her cheeks.
� Why do I put up with him?!� She asked herself quietly. She quickly dabbed at her eyes, mascara running down her cheeks. � Because I can�t do any better?� She asked, talking out loud. She hoped that wasn�t true. She knew it couldn�t be true. Her mind wandered to Joel. She didn�t even know him. She�d talked to him for no more than five minutes but already he�d found a place in her mind and he didn�t seem like he was going anywhere. He had just seemed so sweet, so kind�the exact opposite of Simon.
After she fixed her mascara, Cicily walked back to the table and sat down. Simon didn�t even notice her slightly red eyes. He was too busy talking about all the new business deals he would be making over the next two weeks. She picked at the fish, while Simon ate off her plate, finishing off her potatoes as well as her rice. She just couldn�t eat when there was this huge lump in the back of her throat.
When she got home, Simon followed her inside without even asking. She set her bag down and walked over to the CD player and started playing some smooth, relaxing music. She really just wanted to take a long, hot bath and forget everything that was going on. Her whole body ached and she wasn�t even sure why. Maybe it was as much as a physical ache as it was an emotional one.
Simon sat down on her couch and flicked on the TV, a loud war movie drowning out the sound of her music.
� I�m going to take a bath.� She said, exasperated. He looked up from the TV.
� I�m leaving tomorrow, you know.� He pointed out for the millionth time. Cicily nodded and pulled her hair back into a pony tail.
� I know that.� She said, wondering how it was even possible that she couldn�t.
� Well�how about a little something to hold me over?� He asked, leaning toward her. Cicily frowned, taking a step closer to him. He turned around and smiled, holding out his hands. �Come here.� He said. She smiled softly and nodded, walking toward him. Simon patted the spot on the couch next to him and Cicily reluctantly sat down. He put the TV on mute and turned to her, placing his hands on her knees
� Are you going to miss me?� She asked quietly. He nodded, slowly moving his hands up her legs.
� Yea, of course.� He groaned as he moved his hands quickly up her skirt. She bit her lip, trying to remember why this was supposed to be pleasurable for her. Simon moved fast and hard, his hands almost mechanical.
� Ow�� She yelped, as she pulled his hands away. � Be gentle.� She asked. He nodded and leaned forward, kissing her. He quickly took off her shirt as she worked on the buttons on his. She felt his hands move back to her sides and then her stomach. Suddenly, her mind wasn�t with him anymore. She was with someone else. Someone with dark hair. Someone with a sweet smile who told her she had �great name�. She thought it was ridiculous that she couldn�t get Joel out of her mind, but she also couldn�t help it. Cicily smiled to herself and tried to block Simon�s rough, selfish hands out of her mind. This whole thing was about him, not her, not them. It was about Simon and what Simon wanted. She didn�t mind though. Not then at least. She could hardly say she was with him at all. She was used to it by now�
� Let�s go to your room.� He said, pulling her up from the couch. Cicily nodded, slightly scared that her emotions had absolutely nothing to do with what was about to happen.
Cicily rolled over to her side as Simon caught his breath. She brought her knees to her chest, closing her eyes. She could hear him gasping for breath, she could smell his sweat clinging to her and all she wanted to do now was take a long, hot bath. She wondered why she never found sex nearly as exciting as he did. She just felt like something was missing and it almost scared her--- the thought that this was it. This was as good as it would ever get. She took a deep breath, pulling the sheets up to her chin. Simon moved closer to her and threw his arm over her shoulder.
� How was that, Cic?� He asked, his voice boastful. She smiled weakly but didn�t look at him.
� It was nice, Simon.� She said softly. He nodded and leaned down to kiss her on the cheek.
� Good.� He nodded and then laid back down. Cicily closed her eyes and wondered when she�d get a chance to take that bath.