So Far Away
Chapter 5
By: Sarah
� Must have been a mistake, while you make things hard for me. Wouldn�t hurt you at all if I didn�t have to. Give in it�s our first fight, now that I see this side, I want to more than I did before. This night has opened my eyes. I know you, hope I do now. Communication�s down, I know you, hope I do now. We come closer, temptations, they crumble by your side. You say you wouldn�t hurt me at all. Can�t be sure that you mean it. If it�s worth holding on to, we can�t stay in between it. This could go either way. This could work out between us, or never again. Make it clean, how realistic we mean to. I know you.�-Rival Schools.
I woke up the next morning with a headache so bad that I felt like someone was banging a hammer repeatedly into my skull. It was almost twelve by the time I woke up and I wondered if Farah or Jordan had gotten up yet.
I sat up, rubbing my eyes. The light was streaming through my window in bright, blinding white stripes.
� Oh god, I hate alcohol.� I mumbled. I didn�t remember getting into bed, so I guessed I had really been out of it.
I slid out of bed, my feet touching the cold, hardwood floors. I suddenly had a huge craving for pancakes, though I had a feeling if I ate them, I�d puke. Either way, I didn�t care. Stumbling out of my room, I found the main room pretty chaotic. There were bottles everywhere. We really HAD drunk a lot. I had a good reason though, right?
� Hey you�re up.� Farah said, walking out of the bathroom. � I woulda cleaned up but I�ve been puking since ten.� She said. I winced and nodded. Too much information.
� I�m making pancakes.� I said.
� You�re gonna get sick.�
� I don�t care.� I said. We were both pretty out of it. She nodded and walked back into the bathroom, retching. I walked over and grabbed some bottles, throwing them into the recycling bin.
� Summer air reminds me of all the-� I stopped singing, and suddenly wanted to shoot myself in the head. I couldn�t believe I was actually singing Benji�s song. How low HAD I gotten? Sighing, I grabbed some coffee that Farah must have started making and took a long swig. It didn�t take me long to make the pancakes, but by the time they were ready, I had made about fifteen million pancakes and a really sick, swirling stomach.
� Ohhhhh shit.� I sighed, rubbing my head. I hate myself. No, I hate Benji. What a fucker. I slammed the plate of pancakes down on the table and started rummaging around for some aspirin. I needed to get rid of this headache so I could actually hear myself think.
Just as I swallowed down two aspirin, the buzzer on the door rang. It startled me at first, but then I groaned, walking over to the door. I opened it without looking out the peephole, not really caring.
� Hey.� Benji said. He handed me something, which I took without really looking at. He gave me a funny look next.
� What�are�you�� I said slowly.
� You always come to the door in your underwear?� He asked, cutting me off. I looked down and nearly peed myself. I was only wearing my underwear. Fuck it. I don�t care.
� You�ve seen me naked. Does it really matter?� I asked.
� No, not really.� He leaned foreword and whispered in my ear. �But the guy across the hall is getting a free show.� Sure enough, the middle-aged lawyer that lived across the hall was pretending to pick up his newspaper while freely staring at my chest. I yelped, yanked Benji inside and slammed the door.
He was laughing quietly as he sat down at the table. I was supposed to be mad at him, but I kept having to remind myself of that.
� Can I have some?� He asked, never one to pass up food.
� NO.� I said angrily, walking over and grabbing my glass from the counter.
� Why not?� He asked, pouting. I noticed for the first time that Benji had given me flowers.
� What are these for?� I asked, opening up the trashcan and dropping them in. � My trashcan loves them.� I said, smiling. Benji gasped and jumped up, running over and snatching them out of the trash.
� NIC! Those cost thirty bucks!� He exclaimed.
� What a waste.� I smirked. I knew he would have loved to bitch at me, or just strangle me, but he didn�t. Which I found weird. But, still, I shrugged it off.
� Can we talk like adults?� He asked, putting the flowers on the counter.
� Can you?� I shot back. He groaned.
� About last night, Nic.� He grabbed a plate from the cabinet, helping himself to the pancakes. I knew he would. He even started drinking my orange juice that I�d brought over.
� What about last night?� I asked. My throat got dry and I grabbed the juice back, taking a big gulp.
� I was an asshole, and I�m sorry.� He said, eating as if he hadn�t had food in a month.
� OK.� I nodded.
� Are you mad?� He asked, squinting, as if it would help him see me. I frowned at him, and he only flashed me a big grin. � Don�t be mad, Suga. You know you�re my best friend.� He said. I sighed and shook my head.
� Best friends don�t kiss best friends.�
� So, we�re close best friends.� He shrugged.
� Benji.� I groaned.
� Listen, Nic, come on. I said I was sorry.� He said, his eyes sad. I sighed.
� Don�t ever get drunk like that again.� I said. He nodded.
� Like you can talk.� He mumbled.
� What?� I asked, frowning. He looked up as if he�d been caught doing something wrong. I raised an eyebrow at him, confused.
� Well�look at all the bottles in the sink, Nic. Don�t tell me you didn�t come home and get trashed. And you look like shit.� He said. Thanks Benji.
� Ah, go away.� I moaned, standing up. He got up with me, and nearly chased me around the kitchen.
� Niccccc oh, NIC! Don�t run from me, my love!� He yelled, chasing me. I screamed, laughing. I couldn�t believe how stupid he could be. Since I had my pounding headache, running around the apartment wasn�t exactly helping me. I nearly smashed into the end table, stubbing my toe.
� OW!! Fuck, ouch! OH Benji, I hate you!� I screamed, clutching my toes. He laughed though, catching up to me and scooping me up around the waist.
� Lemme see.� He said, placing me on the sofa. I twisted away from him, hiding my foot.
� No.� I pouted. He laughed and nearly grabbed my ankle.
� Come on.� He said, sitting down next to me. He looked at my toes for a second before frowning. �I think we�ve got to amputate, ma�am.� He said with a stern look. I groaned, yanking my foot away. I punched him in the arm, still trying to act mad at him. I didn�t want to let him off the hook that easy.
He caught my arm though and practically tackled me, throwing me back onto the sofa. I yelped, using my arms and legs to try and kick him off.
� BENJI!!! Ahh! Get off, you weigh a ton!� I screamed, though I couldn�t help but laugh. He started tickling me and I tried getting away, but I was practically smashed underneath him. I wrapped my legs around him, kicking him in the back. He started screaming at me, but didn�t stop tickling. His fingers ran up and down my sides and all over my arms and neck. He didn�t seem to be paying much attention because he brushed past my chest a few times. Every time it happened I nearly wanted to just grab him and kiss him. Aw, God, he was so cute. But then, I knew it was by accident. There was no way Benji would touch me because he actually Wanted to. Besides, I was in my underwear for god�s sake. I kept kicked him and hitting his arms, laughing till I was crying.
� GRR! Stop it! You�re such�a�dick! HAHH!� I yelped.
� You�re such a bitch!� He yelled, laughing. I shrieked angrily and started tickling him back. He started laughing so hard he couldn�t breathe. I had forgotten how ticklish he was. I pushed him off me, screaming and nearly crying from laughing so much. I managed to pin him down, straddling him on the sofa. I held him down by his shoulders, hovering over him.
� Take it back!� I said, my face close to his. He shook his head.
� No.�
� Take it back! Or I�ll�� I thought of some kind of threat. My mind kept wandering though. I couldn�t help but think about him�and what it would feel like�. But I knew I was only torturing myself. But oh god, how incredible it would be to actually be THAT close to him. But, with my luck, my first time would be with some ugly poser punk at a show after I�d had too many beers.
� What are you thinking about?� he said. I came back to earth. I must have been daydreaming. About�having sex with Benji. God, I�m crazy. fucking crazy.
� Huh?� I asked.
� I totally lost ya there for a minute. You zoned out.� He said, trying to sit up though I had him pinned underneath me.
� I was thinking about�how much I hate you.� I said. He shook his head, grabbing my arms.
� Sure you were�� He sighed. �Ya know, you�re pretty hot when you�re mad and hanging over me like that.� Benji said out of nowhere, a huge smile spreading over his face. I was quiet for a minute, not sure how to respond.
� Fuck you.� I said finally, thinking he was kidding.
� Ok.� He said, grabbing my arms and flipping me underneath him. I was so shocked at how fast he�d moved, that before I knew it, I was underneath him, with him gazing stubbornly at me.
� Get off.� I said, trying to stay calm. My heart was beating so fast.
� Nic, why don�t you love me?� He asked softly. I could feel his chest moving up and down as he breathed. The soft, worn material of his tee shirt was rubbing against my stomach. His chest was pressed up against mine, his face only inches from mine.
� I do love you, Benj.� I said slowly. � But I�m not fucking you.� I said. � I�m not one of your little groupies.� He laughed.
� I was only joking, besides, you�re the one who brought it up.� He said. I rolled my eyes.
� You�re suffocating me.�
� Good.� He said, staring at me. I couldn�t keep my eyes off of his either though. I reached up, touching the bright pink patch of hair on his head. He looked surprised at first that I was actually being gentle with him.
� You�re like a cute little baby bunny.� I said, smiling. He groaned and rolled his eyes.
� Shut up.� He said, shaking my hand away.
� Benji, I�� I said slowly. I had to tell him. I couldn�t keep it a secret any longer. He looked down at me with his dark, Oreo brown eyes and waited for me to speak.
The phone rang just as I opened my mouth. Sighing, I wiggled out from underneath him, picking up the phone.
� Hello?� I asked.
� Hey, It�s Nate. You want to do something tonight?� There was an uncomfortable silence and I glanced at Benji. He smiled at me.
� Hey.� I said finally. Nate laughed, sounding nervous.
� You wanna hang out tonight?� He asked again. I coughed nervously.
� Tonight?� I asked, trying not to sound surprised.
� Yea.� He said. I took a deep breath. I couldn�t deny the fact that I thought Nate was a great guy. He super sweet, really cute and really talented. I loved his short, shaggy blond hair and his really clear, pretty blue eyes.
� Hah, you don�t have to if you don�t want to.� He said after a minute. I felt really bad for taking so long to respond.
� Oh, god, no. I�m sorry Nate. I�m kinda out of it this morning. I�d love to go out tonight.� I said, smiling. Benji frowned at me for a second but then he made a monkey face, reaching over and tickling me. �Benji! Cut it out!� I said through gritted teeth.
� Hey, Benji�s over? Tell him I say �Hi�. How is he? Hungover?� Nate asked. I laughed. Actually, Benji didn�t look too bad, but he was wearing an Iron Maiden tee shirt that I could swear I had seen him wear a day or two ago.
� I think he�s used to being hungover so it doesn�t affect him anymore.� I smiled. Nate laughed.
� Yea. Well�How about I pick you up around eight? We can go get something to eat or whatever,� Nate suggested.
� Yea, that would be great. I live on Fenix road, apartment 4D.� I said.
� Ok, cool.� He said. I couldn�t help but smile. I hadn�t been on a date in so long. It was nice to know that I wasn�t completely awful and unwanted. Mmm�what to wear?
� Alright, Nate. I�ll see you then, k?� I said, and we hung up. I looked over at Benji and he was still frowning.
� WHAT?� I asked, standing up.
� Huh?� He asked. He stood up following me into my room. �What are you and Natey doin� tonight?� He asked. I shrugged, pulling a tee shirt off my bed and slipping it on.
�I dunno�having fun.� I smiled.
� More fun than you�d have with me?� He shrugged.
�Yea, probably.� I smiled. He frowned. �What?!� I asked, not sure why he was being so weird.
� Nothing.�
� Benji.� I groaned. I could always tell when he wanted to tell me something but wouldn�t. He looked away, shrugging. I really just wanted to slap him and tell him to stop being so weird. He�d been acting weird all morning, like he knew something I didn�t know. But he wouldn�t tell me anything.
� Yes, Nic?� He asked, smiling sweetly. He sat down on the edge of my bed, looking at the stuff on my nightstand.
� Do you have a problem with Nate?� I asked. He shook his head, picking up the book I was reading.
� Nah, but Nic and Nate? That just doesn�t go together. You can�t have two names with the same first letter.� He said. Then he pouted, pushing his lips out and squinting at me through one eye. I laughed loudly. I loved that face.
� How do you do that?!� I asked.
� What?� He asked, his face back to normal. Or maybe just as normal as it could be. Hehe.
� Show me how you do it again.� I asked, smiling. I walked over sitting next to him. He shook his head. I groaned, wrapping my arms around his neck and hugging him. � Pleaseeeee Benji? My cute faithful little doggie?� I asked. He groaned and laughed.
� Show me, show me, show me�� He said in a sing songy voice. I laughed, thinking about that song by The Cure.
� How you do that trick�the one that makes me scream.� I sang back. He jumped up onto my bed suddenly, and started head banging and playing air guitar, singing the lyrics to �Just Like Heaven�.
�Show me, show me, show me how you do that trick. "The one that makes me scream," she said. "The one that makes me laugh," she said and threw her arms around my neck!� He yelled, singing in his best imitation of a Benji- fied version of the song. I laughed, holding my stomach. He could be so crazy. I loved that about him. He finally made the funny pout, hopping down and sitting back next to me.
� You�re crazy.� I said. He nodded, pushing his wild hair back. � You guys should do a cover of that song.� I said.
� What song?�
� You�re such a loser.� I groaned. He had the shortest memory possible. � Just Like Heaven by The Cure.� I said. � Remember, you were just singing it.� I sighed. He laughed.
� I would never do a cover of that song.� He shook his head.
� Why not?! I would love you forever if you got the guys to cover that song.� I asked. I had to admit, it was my favorite song.
� Do you know how many people have covered that, Nic?� He asked as if I was stupid. � Goldfinger, The Ataris�� He shrugged.
� Fine, Benj, be mean. It�s my favorite song.� I said. He shrugged, not caring. He never cared.
� Don�t hold your breath, Suga.� He smiled. I smacked him on the head and then shoved him out of my room. I didn�t feel like listening to him be an asshole anymore.