So Far Away
Chapter 13
By: Sarah
I pulled my new Goldfinger hoodie on, kissing Benji on the cheek as I did.
� It�s great.� I said, and smacked him on the back. He laughed and shook his head, picking up his bags.
� Good, I�m glad you like it.� He took my hand and I followed him toward the bus.
� Hey, Benj, you better miss me while you�re gone.� I smiled. He laughed softly and shook his head. It was nearly one a.m. and only a few hours after they had just finished a show at the 9:30 club.
� You better miss me.� He shrugged and squeezed my hand.
� Yea, maybe.� I sighed. He took me in his arms and hugged me tight.
� Love ya, Nic.� He said and kissed me softly before throwing his bags onto the bus. �Joel! Let�s move!� Benji shouted to Joel who was over making out with Maygen. For the first time, I didn�t feel jealous.
� Yea, I�m coming.� Joel grumbled. I laughed, hugging Benji one last time.
� I love you.� I whispered quietly into his ear. He hugged me tighter.
� You better be waitin� for me when I get home.� He said. Smiling, I poked him in the ribs, letting him know I would.
� See you.� I said quietly. He nodded and then turned, disappearing onto the bus after Joel. I took a deep breath, taking in the damp night air.
� This is the worse part.� Maygen whispered, stepping up next to me. I nodded, knowing it was. I just couldn�t wait until he got back. Things were going to be so different. Everything already felt so different.
� No, tonight will be the worst part.� I said bittersweetly. She smiled, throwing her arm around my shoulders.
� Come on, let�s go get some food, eh?� I nodded, following her to her car.
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I couldn�t get to sleep that night. I could hardly sleep at all, in fact, for the next two weeks. I missed him. A lot. It was crazy. He called me almost everyday and it was definitely nice. Whenever he did call me, it was always at four. Enough time before a show and just after he probably woke up. I always waited for that call.
It was almost two and a half weeks later when I sat in my apartment, watching some stupid movie with Maygen.
� I can�t believe we�re watching this. I hate that girl.� Maygen said, pointing to one of the skeleton skinny actresses on TV.
� This is a good movie, now shut up.� I said, smiling. She rolled her eyes, throwing some candy in her mouth. I kept glancing at the phone. It was a little after four.
� How would you know if it were a good movie? You keep staring at the phone.� She laughed. I sighed.
� Shut up!� I groaned. �I�m waiting for Benj to call.� I grabbed some Skittles from her, threw the yellow ones at her and put the rest in my mouth. Almost as if on cue, the phone rang. I nearly jumped at it, falling over the sofa.
� Benji! Hey!� I said loudly, holding back from exploding into a fit of laughter. Maygen started making weird faces at me, pretending to barf.
� Oh, Nic! Hey, err�it�s not Benji.�
� OH! Sorry�who is this?�
� It�s Nate.� My jaw dropped. Nate? What�.was he doing?
� Nate?� I said, making sure I had heard right.
� Yea, how are you, Nic?� He asked, as if we were long lost friends.
� Um�I�m ok. You?� I said, unsure. I heard him cough and then clear his throat.
� Well�ok. I�m back in Maryland for a bit. And actually, that�s why I was calling you. I was wondering if you wanted to hang out tonight.� His voice was calm and easy going. It had been nearly three months since we�d broken up. Three months and no contact. What was he doing?
� I don�t know�� I hesitated. Maygen was watching me, probnably wondering the same thing as I was.
� Oh�well�� Nate wavered. � Well��
� I guess�we could go out for drinks or something.� I said finally, knowing I�d regret it later.
� Really? Great!� Nate said, his voice excited. I sighed to myself, rubbing my forehead. What was I getting myself in to?
� Alright.� I sighed. We figured out what time and a meeting place. Nate picked this little smoky club downtown. It was a cool place. With little private booths and low lights, and they always had a live band playing, usually something really slow and mellow.
� I cant believe you are seeing him.� Maygen shook her head, disapproving. I got up and started pacing around, trying to figure out why Nate had suddenly decided to call me.
� I cant believe I am either.� I said, grabbing a handful of candy. Maygen checked her watch again.
� What about Benji.� She said. I was dreading that question.
� What about him? Nate and I are just hanging out.� I said. She nodded, but I could tell she was skeptical.
� You were really crazy about Nate and then he dumped you on your ass. Do you really think he called you up out of nowhere, just to �hang out�? Nic, he wants some ass.� She said, shaking her head.
� Well, he�s not getting any. I�m with Benj. I love Benji. All I�m doing is meeting an old friend for drinks. I did know Nate before I dated him, ya know. It�s just drinks.� I shrugged.
� Yea, that�s what you say now.� Maygen sighed.
I walked slowly into the club, looking around. It was dark except a few dim lights around some of the booths. I searched for Nate for a few minutes before finally seeing him. He waved, smiling. I walked over, scooting into the booth. It was one of those U shaped booths, so he slid over, hugging me lightly.
� Hi, Nate.� I said nervously. He eyed me, letting me go. He looked at me slowly.
� Wow, Nic, you look amazing. Almost three months gone and I come back and you�re even more gorgeous.� He smiled. I blushed, not being able to help it. I didn�t get compliments like that very often. The truth was, California hadn�t exactly been very harsh on him either. Even in the dim light I could see his skin was deep golden and his already sandy hair was sunkissed blond. His blue eyes popped against his dark skin and his teeth seemed even whiter.
� You look really great too, Nate. How�s the band going?� I asked, trying to clear my mind. He nodded, swirling his drink around.
� It�s great. We just finished recording an album�but we�ve still got a long way to go.� He nodded. I smiled.
� So, how are you?� He asked, leaning in.
� I�m ok�I�ve been doing good.� I smiled.
� Good, I�m glad. Are you seeing anyone?� He asked. Wow, he got right to the point. I licked my lips.
� Yea, I am.�
� Oh really? Who�s the lucky guy?� He asked. Oh�this was going to be weird.
� Benji.� I nodded, smiling, unsure of his reaction. Nate broke into a smile, nodding.
� Yea, I woulda guessed.� He said. I smiled and hoped I could get a drink soon. I really needed one.
� What about you? Are you seeing anyone?� I asked. He shrugged.
� Nah.� He took a sip of his drink and I couldn�t help but feel a flash of those old feelings I used to have. Those ones that made me think that Nate was so sweet and fun to be around.
� Been too busy?� I asked slowly. My words wouldn�t come out right.
� Yea, really busy. I�ve been in the studio or practicing almost everyday. We�re getting ready to tour and everything.� He smiled. I nodded, watching his mouth as he spoke. He made me miss Benji.
� That�s great.� I said quickly, swallowing hard. We stayed in that club for what seemed like forever, just talking and catching up. I really did miss him a lot. I missed his sense of humor and the way he viewed everything. It was sort of refreshing to get out of the apartment and hang out with new people.
After a while, I glanced at my watch, shocked to see it was nearly one a.m.
� Wow, Nate, I really should get going.� I said, grabbing my jacket. He looked at his watched, surprised.
� Yea, geez. I didn�t know it was this late.� He said. We�d been talking for nearly six hours. I couldn�t believe it. I slid out of the booth, with Nate close behind me. We walked silently to the door and out into the brisk night air.
� It was really good to see you, Nic.� He said slowly. He was standing close to me, I could feel the heat of his skin.
� You too, Nate.� I said, nervously. He moved in closer. I didn�t move away. I felt paralyzed.
� I know you�re with Benji but�� He faded off as he kissed me. His lips were soft and slightly rushed. His hands moved to my sides, pulling me in towards him. I couldn�t help it, I just kissed him back. Letting myself get lost. He pulled me closer, kissing me deeply. My heart was racing. I knew this was wrong.
� Nate, Nate�� I said, pulling away. The damage was already done though. He leaned in, kissing me again, this time more anxiously. I felt his hands, moving up and down my sides. This had to stop. This had to stop! I pulled away, breaking from his arms. My breath was rough as I tried to catch it.
� I�m sorry, Nate.� I said, shaking my head. I felt so horrible.
� Me too.� He said quietly. I turned, walking away. I couldn�t see him anymore. I just couldn�t. I felt so ashamed and terrible. I had cheated on Benji and there was only one thing for me to do. Tell him.