The Double Line
Chapter 4
By: Erynn*Alice
I used to sit around and play my guitar because it was fun. And when it wasn�t fun, I�d put it down and do something else for awhile. When I�d get a bad blister from having too much fun playing the guitar, I�d play until it bled, then I�d stop.
I have a big blister on my right index finger and it wasn�t from having too much fun playing the guitar. It�s from playing the guitar and not having any fun. No fun. None at all.
Now the only fun I have playing my guitar is the first few dates of the tour, because that�s when everything is new. About the second week or sometimes third, things start to get old. I get tired of playing �Lifestyles of the Rich and the Famous�; I get tired of playing the same things over and over again. I get tired of hearing Joel spit out the same bullshit about how he loves whatever town we�re in that night.
Truth be told, I hate more than half the towns we�re in. Hick towns filled with kids who can relate to our music.
Can they really relate? Can they? Have they been on the road for practically a year straight? No. Have they had to forfeit the chance to have a steady girl friend, friend, family, and life? No. Have they broken the hearts of 34 girls? No. Have they slept with 34 girls in one summer? No. They can�t relate. They can�t.
�This is good stuff, Billy. Good stuff. You�ll feel it for weeks.�
I honestly don�t sit around on the bus when we�re motoring from city to city and mope about how I don�t have a steady girlfriend to love me, or whatever. Any guy will tell you that I am living a dream. I have the chance to sleep with any girl that I want with the simple pick up line of, �I�m Billy Martin, and I play guitar in Good Charlotte.�
I only have to say that one line, and I�m practically guaranteed to get some action later that night before we speed off to the next town.
I�ve slept with 34 girls in one summer. Do I regret it? I do sometimes. I don�t sit in bed and smack myself in the forehead because I had the once in a lifetime chance to sleep with 34 girls. No. I don�t do that. Everything happens for a reason.
My philosophy is: no regrets.
I do what I do for a reason and everything will pay off in the end. I don�t care if I�m not married by the age of 25. I don�t care about that. I should be able to do what I want, when I want.
I should be able to do this because I have started to loathe the guitar. I am starting to dread going out on stage night after night and playing the same song. I am starting to get sick of my dream job.
Since my dream job is slowly turning into a chore, I should be able to sleep with girls and not be judged.
�You�ll forget all about the road. Just one line and it�ll be a blur.�
Can I get every girl? No. And there are plenty of cities where I�ll just decide to get back on the bus and go to sleep. I mean, the summer of 34 was one time of the Warped Tour. We hit well over 34 cities.
Touring is hard. Touring is really hard. I mean, how could it not be? We have to be away from our families and friends for months, we have to cramp into a bus almost every night, it�s hard to take showers, it�s hard to eat right, it�s just downright hard.
This is the part where I�m supposed to take it all back and say, �But I love what I do, and I�m very thankful.� But honestly, I don�t know if I love what I do!
I gave up everything so I could do my dream job, now�now�I don�t know now. I�m thinking I should�ve stayed with my artwork, gone to an art school, done something productive with it. I�m thinking my great idea to skip college and just go into music wasn�t a good decision. I�ve made a lot of bad decisions in my life. I�ve made too many, actually.
�Billy�Billy�talk to me, man�Billy��
I do regret those decisions. I regret every last one of them. I know it goes against my philosophy of life or whatever, but how can you not regret over dosing on heroin when you�re 18?
I don�t do heroin anymore. I smoke pot with the guys every other night or so. I�ll do a line of coke whenever my best friend, Steve, is around. Benji and Steve hate each other, so I only chill with Steve in whatever hotel room I�m staying in.
Benji hates Steve because he thinks Steve�s a bad influence on me. Benji�s probably right, but I don�t care. Steve knows what I need when I�m on the road and feeling really down.
�Man, you were out there for awhile. You should hold back a little more. Lay off the Jack Daniels when you do this shit.�
Steve�s been my friend since we were in middle school, long before I even knew the guys. We�ve always been like brothers. I won�t ditch him just because I�ve got something going. We�re brothers until the end.
�Maybe you should hold back a little on the girls, too. I�d hate it if you got VD or something.�
Who needs a steady girlfriend when you�ve got a best friend like him? Or best friends like the rest of the guys? They�re the only good thing about this whole fame and fortune stunt.
�You know my number next time you need something.�
Who needs coke when you�ve got the chance to sleep with thousands of adoring girls?
I�m Billy Martin, I play guitar for Good Charlotte, I sleep with tons of girls, I snort tons of coke, and I regret every last minute of it, but I�ll never let anyone know.